UrbanBaby - how does your dh show you he loves you? ...

new post » see more posts »

how does your dh show you he loves you? my dh is never romantic. he is very nice to me but i just don't feel that he is "in love" with me. i just wonder if i have unrealistic expectations or if i am right to want him to plan special things and tell me i am beautiful or initiate sex. i am ready to get a divorce because i am so tired of being neglected. any advice or btdt?
12 replies
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]
08.21.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag ]
- you want what you want, and to want those things doesn't seem unreasonable. your husband my not understnad that that is what you are looking for, though, if you don't make it clear. has he always been this way?
  [ Reply | Options ]
  08.21.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - op: i have made it clear to the point of it becoming a regular fight. he says he will be more romantic but nothing ever happens. he used to be sweet and plan special dates for us but since we accidentally got pregnant early in the relationship with dd (now 2.5) he has been very distant in that area. we actually separated for about six months a year ago because of this issue and he started being romantic again but now it is back to the same old thing.
    [ Reply | Options ]
    08.21.08, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - life with a toddler is hard. i think the suggestion that maybe you should try to kickstart things by planning a nice evenign is not a bad one.
      [ Reply | Options ]
      08.21.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Have you told him your expectations? Maybe he has a totally different language. have you done the things to him that you want him to do to hou?
  [ Reply | Options ]
  08.21.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - op: i have done things in the past that seem to be unappreciated or unwanted. i feel that it is a two way street. i do tell him that he is beautiful and sexy.
    [ Reply | Options ]
    08.21.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Do you plan special things for him, tell him he is gorgeous, and come on to him unsolicited?
  [ Reply | Options ]
  08.21.08, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - agree: it is a start.
    [ Reply | Options ]
    08.21.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - op: yes. i am just tired of being the only one.
      [ Reply | Options ]
      08.21.08, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - op: i think the same thing. i feel like i should do it more often but he has shot me down so many times in the past that i am over it. when i got pregnant he was very cold and unloving so i wonder if i am just conditioned to think that he doesn't love me.
        [ Reply | Options ]
        08.21.08, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - it doesn't sound liek you are happy. is he?
        [ Reply | Options ]
        08.21.08, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        op: who knows. he would never talk about anything if i didn't bring it up. he is very complicated.
        [ Reply | Options ]
        08.21.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        could you straight out ask him? It sounds like you've tried everything else.
        [ Reply | Options ]
        08.21.08, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

UrbanBaby Asks...

What are your Thanksgiving travel plans?

Already voted? View Results

See previous polls »

Boards Help

Abbreviations
More Boards Help

Site Feedback Thank you for your feedback about the new site. We are paying close attention to your comments and we will incorporate them as we make improvements to the site. Please continue to report problems and offer feedback on the Site Feedback Board and visit our Site Talk blog for answers to some of your questions and updates on specific issues.

Flashback

City vs. Suburbs

Moving to the suburbs and suddenly feel sick to my stomach. anyone else btdt and ended up liking it??

Posted June 5, 2008 (50 replies)

you want what you want, and to want those things doesn't seem unreasonable. your husband my not understnad that that is what you are looking for, though, if you don't make it clear. has he always been this way?

life with a toddler is hard. i think the suggestion that maybe you should try to kickstart things by planning a nice evenign is not a bad one.

Have you told him your expectations? Maybe he has a totally different language. have you done the things to him that you want him to do to hou?

op: i have done things in the past that seem to be unappreciated or unwanted. i feel that it is a two way street. i do tell him that he is beautiful and sexy.

Do you plan special things for him, tell him he is gorgeous, and come on to him unsolicited?

agree: it is a start.

op: yes. i am just tired of being the only one.

op: i think the same thing. i feel like i should do it more often but he has shot me down so many times in the past that i am over it. when i got pregnant he was very cold and unloving so i wonder if i am just conditioned to think that he doesn't love me.

it doesn't sound liek you are happy. is he?

op: who knows. he would never talk about anything if i didn't bring it up. he is very complicated.

could you straight out ask him? It sounds like you've tried everything else.

UrbanBaby Asks...

What are your Thanksgiving travel plans?

Boards Help

City vs. Suburbs