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On CBS.com: The wife of a man goes missing
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  • I have a sitter whose mother died about 6 yrs ago when she was 12. It upsets me so much. I'm obsessed with the sadness of it all.

    15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    08.08.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag ]
    • that's pretty horrible. i can't imagine what that would have done to my life if that happened to me.

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      08.08.08, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • that is sad of course, but it seems like a pretty random thing to be obsessed with

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      08.08.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • OP- It comes up in many converstions (indirectly...sometimes just what I'm thinking to myself). She is going to college later this month and I just think how hard to do it without a mom....She did the college shopping for sheets, etc by herself :-(

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        08.08.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • ouch. Where is her Dad? He should be stepping in and doing those things with her. Poor kid. It sounds like you are closer to her than your description initially made it sound.

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          08.08.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • OP- what upsets me is that she isn't even aware of how much she is missing, and that she has a younger sister at home who will really miss her while she's gone.

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            08.08.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I think we adjust to whatever ilfe throws at us. It's just her life to her and feels normal. People are very strong when they have to be

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              08.08.08, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Both my mom and dad died when I was 7. It is horrible. I know how she feels. Being motherless is horrible and comes up frequently. Anytime you would want to share an experience with your mother (or in my case father as well), you can't and never will.

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      08.08.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • omg, in an accident? how terrible, i am so sorry. did you have family members that fostered your memories of and connections to them?

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        08.08.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • they died separately. Mother had breast cancer, father committed suicide. I am close with my mother's mom but have not been really close with my father's family and as a result don't know much about my father. My grandmother (father's mother) died this week in fact and I kind of re-met his siblings at the funeral and I think I may try to forge a relationship with them. I wish I could say that I know more about my parents but I can't. You don't really move past it you just accept that it is the way things are and continue with your life.

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          08.08.08, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Geez. FWIW, my sympathies. How awful.

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            08.08.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i'm so sorry, thats so much to have to deal with that early in life. :( can't imagine how a father could do that to his little girl, although obviously he must have had serious issues.

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            08.08.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I used to be so angry with him but now realize that he was just really sick. He was an alcoholic and apparently did not handle my mother's death well (even though they were divorced). He just couldn't have been thinking about my sister and I.

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              08.08.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np if it helps at all, a friend of mine with 2 young DDs, tried to kill herself. She told me later she thought she was doing the right thing for them and that they would be better off without her. I'm sure his thinking was just as messed up and he thought he was doing something good for you. I'm so sorry. That must be hard to live with.

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                08.08.08, 07:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Sometimes, if I think too hard about it, I start to go with the 'what-ifs', like what if he hadn't killed himself, what if he got help, what if he changed. Could he have been a great father? I can't let myself go there because it is just depressing. I think most of the time when people kill themselves they don't realize that there are other solutions, in a short time things can be better. I went through a stint of doing drugs and drinking but I quit and got better rather than choose to go all the way to killing myself. I wish my dad had realized this option. Is your friend well today?

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                  08.08.08, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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