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After being married for seven years, I am hating my MIL. She is the most narcissistic selfish woman and I don't know how I'm going to continue to have a relationship with her. My FIL died a few months ago (we were close) and now that MIL is on her own, she is unbearable. I want my kids to have a relationshop with her (she's the only grandparent still alive) and we used to have the in-laws over once or twice a week, but this woman never asks me about me, and only will talk if she can talk bout herself or tell some insanely detailed story about something she did or a friend of hers did or said. Oh, she also talks to me to tell me how to do really obvious things, like when I say I'm going to heat lunch up for the kids, she says "put it in the microwave nd put a towel on top." She's on vacation with us for this week because I felt sorry for her now that she's alone, and I am miserable and barely speaking to her. I'm furious that my DH only says we have to tolerate her and we won't do any vacations with her anymore. She is wealthy but has not contributed one cent to this vacation (which is a stretch for us, given that we had to rent an apartment with an extra bedroom and rent a minivan so that we could take her with us), and is cheap as can be, never buying any gifts for the kids or even an ice-cream cone. Should I just ignore the "advice" she gives (really it's ordering me around) and consent to listen to her monologues about herself? Is anyone else in the same situation? I don't want to cut her out of our lives (not really an option anyway) because I want my kids to have a good relationship with her.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ditto. dwelling on what annoys you about her will only make it worse, trust me. You're stuck with her, so you'd better think of some good things about her and focus on those. You don't want to poison your kid's relationship with grandma because you can't grow up and deal.
[ Reply | Options ]Um, I can't grow up and deal? I am doing my best to encourage my children to have a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, and if it weren't for them, the healthiest way for me to deal would be to cut off the relationship. You must be pretty unhappy to have to put down total strangers just for the fun of it.
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She has no one to talk to... my mom does the same thing to me... my dad passed away almost 5 years ago. now she goes on and on to me about stuff at work, etc... she is lonely and has no one else to talk to... I think you stick through it for awhile...it's only been a few months since your FILs passing... she is going to hit other stages of grief too... prepare yourself, its going to get worse before it gets better. oh, and.... hope that she finds someone new she can be happy with... it's really what's best for everyone.
[ Reply | Options ]my grandmother is somewhat like this, except maybe more interested in me. she bosses my aunt and most people around to an insane degree though.think of the person as mentally off, in need of a sympathetic ear - not a normal person that you would need to constantly answer or hold accountable for what she says. put some distance between yourself and her emotionally, and just feel bad for her and agree with everything she says. also try to limit conversations but be nice when you do talk.
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UrbanBaby Asks...
When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:
- Use a carseat
- Buckle him/her in his/her own seat
- Hold him/her on my lap
- I'd never ride in a taxi with my DC, it's much too dangerous!
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