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  • What are your takes on co-sleeping with your baby? I fell into this habit because breast feeding was much more convenient at night, but now my son is 11 months old and completely dependent on me to fall asleep! ( I'm prepared for the harsh comments I know I'll probably get, but really, I need the advice on how and/or when I should get him out of our bed)

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    08.03.08, 01:11 PM [ Flag ]
    • my thoughts: there are two kinds of co sleeping families. One kind wants it (all the parties), does it safely and continues well into childhood (not just a baby thing). The other starts out like you, but intends for db to sleep in crib and either can't figure out how or gets db/dc to start off in bed and then dc joins parents in their bed sometime in the night. The first type is great, the second type is HELL. I'm going to guess that you don't want to be the first type, right?

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      08.03.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • You got it. Because my son is so dependent on me to fall asleep, I feel like it's affecting many other areas in his lif. He's sooooooooo attached to me.

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        08.03.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • science doesn't back you up on that one (but - moms sometimes know more than science). I personally don't believe that an 11 month old can be too attached to mom. But if you want to get him out of your bed, you are going to have to suck up - hear a ton of crying for about 3/4 days and go against your natural instinct. There are plenty of books that will help you come up with a plan to do it. good luck!

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          08.03.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Thanks! You have no idea what it means to hear another mom say that "an 11 month old can't be too attached to mom." I get a lot of sh*t from people for the relationship my son and I have. Thankyou!!!

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            08.03.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • You are so welcome. You might enjoy reading the book called "The Hurried Child".

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              08.03.08, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I'll stick my nose in a little farther - you are going to be pushed and harrased to break the bonds of family and push your dc towards his peers more than you can imagine. People honestly believe that if you child is NOT in preschool at 3, you are doing him a diservice developmentally (I just can't imagine how the human race survived as long as it did before moms went to work and need preschool, but I digress). And then, these same people are going to throw up their hands and exclaim that "peer pressure" is far to strong a force in their childs life not even considering the fact that they have been pushing them towards peers for so incredibly long. I think back to my childhood and you can always find the family that spent most of their time together, that didn't "do what everyone else was doing", that did not jam pack their childrens days with activities - they just sort of hung out and did fun normal things together - somehow those children alwasys seemed to turn out great. I can't say that for all of the families that did the opposite (while some did have children who turned out great). So, decide what type of childhood you want for your child, decide what type of family you want for your child, figure out how you want to spend your time - the days are long, but the years are short and then go about it - and resist the naysayers and the pressure. You are the mommy, you know what is best!

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                08.03.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • I am just finding out how true that is!!! The stay at home moms I know are clammoring for pre-school for their 1 year old so their kids can be more "independent." This just seems as a total shock to me. I work full time and can only imagine the wonderful activites I'd do with my son if I were able to stay home with him.

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                  08.03.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • I don't see pre school for 1 year olds among my peers who SAH. But trust me when i say that you would love 7 days of activities with your son before you began to crave the structure and freedom of work.

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                    08.03.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • np ?? projecting your feelings? I'm a sahm and love the time we have together and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! We are all different and have different circumstances we deal with in life, but don't presume that simply because you couldn't happily fill your days at home that everyone is just like you.

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                      08.03.08, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • I think you missed my point. I love staying home with my children but I think women who work full time tend to fantasize how idyllic the life is.

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                        08.03.08, 02:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Try to enjoy the attachment. I would also recommend plain old CIO at this point.

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          08.03.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • NP. Give it time. At 16 months now, my too stubborn mommy/boob addict boy goes down easily most nights for his dad. And sleeps through. And I honestly did nothing muhc to encourage it. We do not co-sleep, but I think it's great and no reason to quit unless you really want to. And you are ready for lots of tears. And I agree w/PP. An 11 month should be very attached. Nothing wrong there that I can see, either.

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            08.08.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Love it. My dc are older and co-sleeping was wonderful with both, some of my fondest, warmest memories of their babyhoods. I'm so glad I did it. They are both securely attached, independent kids--and great sleepers (in their own beds ;-))

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      08.08.08, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np: oh this is so nice! makes me feel better. i'm very ambivalently trying to transition 6 m.o. dd into her own room. i just love to lie in bed with her and watch her sleep and cuddle her. plus it's so much easier to do a night feeding.

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        08.08.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • don't feel that way. These months are so precious and fleeting. My kids are so big now and it's so painful to remember the trivial things I angsted about when they were babies. In a few years, you'll be so glad you just let yourself enjoy cuddling her and watching her sleep. If you don't, then in a couple years when you try to hug her and she just wiggles away, you'll so wish you'd let yourself just enjoy that time.

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          08.08.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ^^sorry, by "don't feel that way" I was unclearly trying to say "don't feel like you have to transition her too soon"--came out wrong!

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            08.08.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • thank you! oh, i can't bear the thought of her wiggling away!

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            08.08.08, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I know. *I've* become the clingy one. LOL. Oh, they'll definitely get in cuddly, needy moods, but that age when just being in your arms is their idea of heaven, they could do it for hours? over and gone.

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              08.08.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITTTA! Mine too and I loved it too, despite naysayers badgering me not to do it.

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        08.08.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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