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  • DH and I have been together 10 years. we are going through a phase of being out of synch. long term married people out there, tell me it gets better. please?

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    07.28.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag ]

    • this is what people mean when they say you have to work at a marriage.

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      07.28.08, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • ITA. we've been together 22, married almost 17. we've had our rough patches but can't imagine life w/o each other. you just work though it, and keep communicating.

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        07.28.08, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • It gets better. I was just thinking about that this morning. DH and I have been married for 11.5 years - together as a couple for 18. There are definitely patches (and a good part of married year 10 was one of them) that I felt out-of-synch and very much like "being on a break," but so happy to have stuck it out: DH is my rock and my truest friend - even if it didn't always seem like that. Hang in there, and until things level out try to look for the fun and the opportunity to show love.

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      07.28.08, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • thank you. my dad left early and I never had any good role models for relationships that "stayed the course." I guess I learn as I go.

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        07.28.08, 01:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Reduce expectations. Focus on things you both enjoy and allow adequate space for individual interests. Think of yourselves as on a teeter totter. It takes two to find balance. Sometimes you just have to hang out till you're both ready to commit to getting there.

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      07.28.08, 02:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • thanks. i've been feeling like a nag lately but I have come up upon the realizations that i am disappointed in many areas. I wish that we could talk better. he is very involved with his life right now, which is good, but I need to do more to get more involved in mine. He is an only child and is pretty focused on what he wants to do.

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        07.28.08, 02:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • have you read 7 habits of highly effective people? I really liked that book & it helped me get on better track

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          07.28.08, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • Choose a personal goal you've been procrastinating about. Learn to play an instrument, write some poetry with a class, join a book group, learn to fence - anything that will give you pleasure and a challenge outside of marriage.

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          07.28.08, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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