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Has anyone else noticed that when pregnant, they get offered a seat on the bus but not the subway? When I take the bus, at least 1 person offers me a seat every time. When I take the subway, nothing. I haven't taken anyone up on the offer yet (only 6 months and not too many stops) but I find it interesting.
88 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i noticed that when i was pregnant that it was mostly women who would give up their seats. and if it was a man it was usually a latino man, sometimes a black man, but hardly ever a white man. i traveled to london when i was pregnant and thought i would notice a difference there (would more men offer a seat?) as it turned out the same held true in london on the tube - it still was women who would give up their seats more often than a man.
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I was shocked to find that the bigger I got the less offers I got on the subway. I think it has to do more with the NYC attitude of having tunnel vision and not caring or noticing as you run over people. I will teach my children to always offer a seat if they see someone who needs it more than they do.
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woah! you're saying an able bodied man shouldn't offer a seat to a prego woman? Granted I know some disabilities aren't visible and people who seem able bodied may not be, but that's obviously not everyone who stays seated while seeing a prego woman standing..
[ Reply | Options ]Unless you take a poll of the people who are seated, you have no right to make assumptions. If you really NEED a seat, take a cab. Or stay home and put your feet up.
[ Reply | Options ]np: you are obnoxious. WHen I am pregnant (currently 36 weeks with #3), I ask a person who looks able-bodied (young guy typically) for a seat. I've never been refused.
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That is such a load of baloney. Everyone except the elderly and kids should offer their seats to the pregnant ladies.
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i agree with you. i remember once when i was on a train when i was pregnant with a man and his young son (he had to be about 12) and the man told his son to offer his to me - and he used it as a teaching moment and told his son, how he may be tired but it is always nice to offer a seat to someone who appears obviously appears to need one (whether pregnant or otherwise). it was nice to see this man teaching his son this.
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never noticed any consistency with the seat offers. it's always nice when one is offered so profuse gratitude is in order cuz you are neither elderly nor handicapped. personally, i preferred to stand on public transit during pregnancies, it was actually more comfortable especially towards the end. it was too difficult to get out of a seated position too!
[ Reply | Options ]one time at about 39 weeks in the heat of the summer, no one offered me a seat on the bus. I finally got one and then was the only person to offer it to an elderly couple who got on (one of them anyway). they refused and insisted I sit. some people are just rude. I've noticed it here and in boston.
[ Reply | Options ]Absence of chivalry does not denote rudeness. YOU are rude for calling people out on it.
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Again, it's not RUDE to be *not* chivalrous. It IS rude, however, to EXPECT chivalry.
[ Reply | Options ]angry poster: why do you care so much about this? I'd really like to know... as I already said, I feel sorry for you. You sound sad and angry. People who haven't experienced kindness and love generally don't offer it widely...sorry that's been your experience. good luck to you...
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...and how much class did that couple have in insisting I sit instead of they? we talked the whole way (they sat down next to me soon after) and they were lovely (had grandchildren, etc.).
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I pretty much was always offered a seat. At the time, I rarely took the bus, so we're talking mostly subway. And I was definitely offered seats by a wide variety of people from all ethnic groups (I noticed, because I'd been told of people not offering). There's the sheer weight and unweildy-ness, the fact that if a pregnant woman falls there are more dangers for both her and her baby, and all the reasons having to do with blood supply and all the constant changes of pregnancy that a pregnant woman is more likely than average to feel sick or lightheaded. I've wondered why my experience was different than so many I've heard of, who were not offered seats much. I really don't know. All I know is that my attitude (which may have shown) was always (usually), yes, I need a seat, and no, I don't expect one to be offered. I was always gracious in accepting, and it was always a lovely shared moment. I'm reasonably attractive but not especially, white, was 39 yo at the time, tallish & thinnish. Today I travel w/ dd in an ergo, and am likewise almost always offered a seat, but not as quickly. Will anyone else fess up about how kind strangers were to you pregnant, or are we only complainers here?
[ Reply | Options ]i never expected a seat, it was nice if someone offered. and i too was gracious when someone did, because they didn't have to. a lot of times when someone offered the seat, it was a few minutes after leaving the station, and they would apologize for not offering their seat right away because they didn't notice (we're reading, or zoning out).
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i am 35 weeks prego and almost always get offered a seat on the subway (dont really take the bus) i find that it is almost always men - and mostly latino and black men who offer me their seats (rarely white men). i also find that women are nasty. they see me and my huge belly and sort of snarl at me. if they do offer their seat, they are are not kind about it - sort of look at me and say something like 'uhg - do you want to sit here?' i also find that teenagers NEVER get up or offer their seats. when my kids are old enough, thats one of the first things i am going to teach them!
[ Reply | Options ]I gotta say, with the new style of womens tops in fashion lately it is getting harder and harder to tell if women are pregnant. Granted there is a point where it is not a question but you have to also remember, the rest of us don't know if you are preg or just heavy. I say, if you need a seat, just ask.
[ Reply | Options ]it's just america and dare i way white western societies. white people have offered to give up their seat, but i do think it's more common from non-white people. and yes, usually more likely women than men. to be fair, sometimes i don't think it's intentional...i think people sometimes just don't notice. i think it's a sad commentary on the selfish individualistic nature of society.
[ Reply | Options ]I cannot believe how tolerant people are towards racism towards whites.How dare someone say "I only see latino men give up seats".That is so racist & if someone said "I only see white men give up seats".There would be such an outrage.Racism or bigotry of any kind should not be tolerated!!!
[ Reply | Options ]And I've had a guy who beat me to a seat. Squeezed in to a recently opened seat right in front of me. Must've been the poster rattling on about "our choice." Hey, how about this: if you twist your ankle playing tennis, do you expect no one to offer you a seat because it was your "choice" to play tennis?
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