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Getting a divorce. DH fam gave us $100k for the downpayment on our house. Am I entitled to that?
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dh claims we must give back the $ to his fam and split profits on the rest. Does he have a case legally?
[ Reply | Options ]Was the $ given as a loan? any papers signed with family? are they asking for it back?
[ Reply | Options ]you know that his family is only trying to hurt you by taking 50K from you. does he honestly expect you to believe that they are going to take his half, too? give them the $$, you are better off without the lot of them
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i know, believe me, i am not one of those people who underestimate the importance of $$, I am just saying that really, $50,000 is better spent getting these people permanently out of your life while you rent or move in with your family temporarily. i know it doesn't sound great, but you will have your half of whatever $$ is left after you sell your house. please listen to me, i know what i'm talking about.
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not divorced, but am caring for my ailing mil. anytime my sil offers to help financially, we hear about it forever and ever. it is just easier to take it on ourselves and deal with the financial issues it causes. i am sure that this will be true for you tenfold. these people want to hurt you, even if it means doing something that could harm their grandchild. i'm sorry and wish you luck
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honestly, just give them the $$ after you sell the house. this way you can be rid of them. they are wretched for wanting $$ back and you know they are only doing it to hurt you. i am sorry for you're having to go through this.
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the lawyer says I am entitled to half, but the fam "could have an argument there"
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or: that's what i thought at first but, from a lawyer's perspective, it is true that we (or at least I) try to give clients an indication of counter-arguments, particularly if it means the merits of my client's position wouldn't be a slam dunk.
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legally, if there's no paperwork, they are not going to get the money back and if the money was put into the house in joint name, then ex does not get it for himself. i've known 2 people to get divorced w similar situations and it was the wife's family who had given the money and the exh still got half the proceeds from the house.
[ Reply | Options ]I totally disagree with the comments you should return the money to improve relations with inlaws. BTDT with problem inlaws and it won't help to return the money. If there were no loan papers signed then consider it a gift, and they can't force you to pay the 50k. GL with all. (BTW I am not an attorney but do have wealthy dh and I am totally familiar with "co-mingled" vs separate inherited $$. Without the paperwork, and given your dh co-mingled the money from his family with joint money (and with your combined asset) they have little to defend their position. The main point though is if you give in on this they will think you are some kind of pushover and they will continue to take advantage.
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i would def not give it back. Your first priority is your ds, not some deceiving il. Plus do you really think that the relationship will magically get better because you gave them the money. highly doubt it. plus maybe your dh put them up to it, that way him and his parents could keep the money plus his part, which i doubt he would ever give back, and you end up with less money. no way. i wouldnt even think about it twice.
[ Reply | Options ]It won't help your relationship with them, probably. He can barely help you at all financially. You need the money. Legally, you've got a much much stronger case than they do. So keep the money. I'd only give up the money in exchange for soemthing else I wanted from him/them. Sorry you're going through this.
[ Reply | Options ]I can understand why they kept truth from you, although of course, it was wrong. They have one kid who can't leave home; this was a way to help the other kid succeed. And they could have rationalized that it was in the past. And they could have rationalized that it was not their place to tell you, but his, and they didn't want to get between you and him. And I can understand why they might want the money back - it was for him, not for you, and why would they give you so much money? If there wasn't a child, I wouldn't think they were wrong for wanting the money back. But since there is a child, he has a responsibility. And since he can't fulfill his responsibility, and they held back information that has put you in this positiion, they have a responsibility. In other words, they may indeed be evil, but I can't say that based on this information.
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