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We're on the fence about having a second child. Anybody with siblings think they'd have been happier as an only child?? Any only children who really wish they had siblings?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i am a happy only. never wanted a sib and stil dont. (i have steps but i barely know them.) FWIW i have two kids but one would have been fine.
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I say that my younger brother ruined my life. But truthfully, I'm happy I have sibling. DH & I were on the fence for 2 years before we decided to have #2. It was hard having 2. But watching our 2 kids together, even when they're fighting over a toy ... it's totally worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]I was raised as an only because my brother & sister are so much older. I think it would have been really healthy for me to have been at home w/ a sibling or two. I turned out fine, but I am somewhat self-centered. Also, my parents had a rough patch when I was young and my mom used me as her confidante and treated me like a mini-adult--not healthy, imo. I think that would be less likely w/ siblings around. Now my big sister and (17 year difference) are super, super close. But it would be nice to be closer in age. My kids are 3.5 years apart and are really growing in their relationship and learning a lot of from each other--it's awesome.
[ Reply | Options ]i think it's sweet that you are asking this question, because it's clear you are looking at it from the point of view of your child's well being. think a bit about what it means for your life and your husband's life too, of course, and then you'll figure it out. these personal decisions are really hard. don't let anyone sway you because of their own baggage, though. everyone is different and there is no way to tell what the future holds.
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we are in the process of adopting dc #2, after 10 years of having an only child. Lot's of pros and cons, agree that only you can make the choice. BTW - dc#1 is dying to have a sibling but that is no guarantee that he will feel the same way when dc#2 arrives. I am close to my siblings, my husband barely speaks to his. You never know.
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My older brother made my life so much better overall. I would be so bored all the time if it weren't for him. He got me into my hobbies and passions, he taught me so much about the world that my parents wouldn't have. I wish I had more siblings, and I could not image life without any.
[ Reply | Options ]You would be so bored? How do you know that you would have been bored if you were an only child? As someone with an older brother, yes, you get bored when he's not around but if you are an only child to begin with, you get used to spending time alone and enjoying friendship instead. If you were an only child, there would have been other people who got you into those hobbies and passions.
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I am number 6 of 8 and have 4 of my own. I have 2 cousins that are singles. They always wished for a sib. You will always have days where a sib is a pain, but that is yoru decision to go for #2. If we had quit, I still would not be at PTA meetings, as my oldest is starting his family. BUt there are moments you will treasure. Last night we had a 'quiet' dinner with the family as my duaghter celebrate her 22 birth. My oldest, 30 + his wife; my second with his so my youngest at 18 and my spouse with the birthday girl 22. Up to you. I enoy the whole for the most part as a sib and a parent. Enjoy.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm an only and always wished I had a big brother. I even had a named picked out for him when I was younger. I was quite lonely, but as I got older, I realized I didn't grow up alone. At least not all of the time. I tended to make my cousins and my aunts who were closer to my age my "siblings". I have two boys, 16 months apart. I was married to their father a terrible, violent man. When I found out I was pregnant with #2, I probably should have been devastated, but I was actually thrilled my first son would have someone he could navigate this world with especially when things got rough. They are complete opposites and have very little in common but get along great. The are both away at college, but when they both come home, I know I did the right thing when I hear them whispering in their room at night about the show Heroes, or school, or Lil Wayne's new song. I think siblings have a relationship with each other that is are different from the ones the have with parents or friends.
[ Reply | Options ]My husband and I are hving our first (in April) but already are talking about our second. I was an only child and always wanted/will always wish I'd had a sibling. My mother was an only child and also feels the same way. There are many challenges -It is easy to become introverted and unsociable. I often felt bored. It took me a long time to learn to laugh at myself. Also, handling family matters as you get older can be a burden w/no siblings to turn to. My husband has two brothers. He can't imagine life w/out them and loves them dearly. His mom had a tough job raising three boys, but she certainly has no regrets. I am eternally grateful to her since I did marry the third boy. There are upsides to being an only child. I learned to be very creative and independent. I was precocious to an extreme. For instance, I didn't laugh when someone farted. I had to learn to do that fm friends at school! If you are on the fence it sounds like the answer is no/wait. Your only child will be just fine, just take into consideration the challenges/differences.
[ Reply | Options ]If you are thinking of getting another child for the sake of your #1, you should consider his opinion. There are dc's who beg for a younger sibling and those who balk at the thought of a younger sibling. You don't want to get a db for the latter and you don't want to deprive a db of the former. I am half serious but it's true. Otherwise, they could be miserable.
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