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  • If both you and your husband are arguing over circumcising your son, who wins? There is a poster below who says her husband wouldn't have more of a say in it, but ONE of you has got to have more of a say, the kid either gets circumcised or not, someone wins, someone does more of a say!

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    07.05.08, 07:25 PM [ Flag ]
    • We didn't argue, but I was inclined to let DH have more of a say on this issue.

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      07.05.08, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ditto. I was sort of surprised (and pleased) when dh said he did not want to circ son, but I would have deferred to him if he felt really strongly on the subject.

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        07.05.08, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I let dh decide.

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      07.05.08, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • we argued and I let dh decide (we did circ). I've won other arguments. I think it comes down to who cares more.

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      07.05.08, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Simple. Don't circumcise and continue discussions. You can always circumcise later, but you can't uncircumcise.

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      07.05.08, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Yes, this is what we did. I didn't want to circ and won out because we could always do it later. There's no medical need to do it, so I didn't feel like I needed to defer to my dh's desire to do it for aesthetic reasons. Even my Jewish friends who did it said that after watching the process, they wouldn't do it again.

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        07.05.08, 08:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • NP: We had a different experience. We did have a medical reason for considering circumcision (DS has a kidney abnormality and there are some studies that suggest circumcision reduces the risk of UTI in children with compromised kidneys). Before the birth, doctors said we could wait and see, but that circumcision is much more traumatic for older infants/children than newborns so we elected to do it within a few days of his birth. No regrets.

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          07.06.08, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • There are some things you should not see. Just turn your head during the ceremony. The truth is (and what no one is admitting) that it is unlikely that DS after living with an uncircumcised penis for many years will decide to have it snipped. He's comfortable the way he is. So in effect we are making the decision for him. That's why I'm having problems with all this "he can decide later" reasoning.

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          07.06.08, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • we discussed it a lot and read all the information out there. then he said, unless our son was gay then a man's opinion was probably not as useful as a woman's opinion, aesthetically. so I polled my friends who'd had the most male partners (women friends and gay man friends just in case, lol) about their opinions of each and why, and in the end we did not circ. there ya go!

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      07.05.08, 08:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the same could be said for any argument, really. someone always wins, and someone else loses.

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      07.05.08, 11:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DH here won that discussion. It came down to pure "design aerodynamics". The neccessity debate is irrelevant. Just ask yourself this: Do I want my son to be in the minority with a different shaped penis? How will he handle being a source of curiousity in the locker room?Will his future partners deal with it or want the familiar shape?

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      07.06.08, 01:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • The minority question doesn't work anymore. It's practically 50/50. The deciding factor for us was, its ds penis and ds can make the decision when he's old enough.

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        07.06.08, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Bull! They're still in the minority and to make your son decide later in life is just idiotic. Your DH should've manned up, gotten it done and over with. DS can then spend time grappling with which college to attend or some other major life decision.

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          07.06.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np and what is wrong with a man deciding about his own penis? How is that idiotic? I find it strange that so many parents don't consider letting the owner decide.

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            07.06.08, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Look, how many men would let a knife get anywhere near their cocks later in life? So all this talk about letting DS decide later in life is so lame. If DH wants it to be circumcised or not just decide and stop the hand wringing. No need to bring up a tribe in Africa; that just sounds racist and ignorant.

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              07.06.08, 02:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • my dh is uncirc. Are you implying he is less of a "man" because he isn't circ?

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            07.06.08, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • stupid, stupid, and most of all, sad.

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            07.06.08, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Ugh, this is such stupid and specious reasoning. Why not make your son feel strong and proud and independent rather than encouraging conformity in all aspects (right from birth!)?

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        07.06.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • this is not about conformity. If you him to buck the trend and go against the grain he can mismatched socks or a manskirt.

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          07.06.08, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the way I approached it was not trying to WIN, but to educate dh. Once I really made him look at what circumcision is and the reasons it's done, he was totally converted. Now he's more anti-circ than I am!

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      07.06.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Is DH circumcised? Sounds like you bullied DH and he just went yes dear.

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        07.06.08, 03:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • dh is circed. And dh is not bully-able, believe me. What he is is smart, and convinced by data. There is absolutely NO medical indication for circumcision.

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          07.06.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I know this is ancient but this described me -- except it was having the debate with my brother (who is also circ'ed) which convinced me to not do it to my son. (I posted the "I always thought" post below.)

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            09.10.08, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'm not letting dh have more of a say about a major decision affecting a child I had to grow and spend 24 hours getting out of my body. No way. Get away from my son with that scalpel or it ends up in your throat!

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      07.06.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What I never understand is when we talk about this, people in the US never talk about STDs. Circumcision greatly reduces the chances of getting all sorts of diseases, and consequently reduces the amount the diseases spread. Why is this never mentioned, because to me it is a good reason to circumcise.

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      07.06.08, 11:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • It is absolutely NOT a good reason to circumcise. It's a good reason to educate your kids, male and female, on using prophylactics and safe sex in general.

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        07.06.08, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • yes, but how far does that go? Honestly, I know a ton of men and women who still really only care about pregnancy when thinking about sleeping with someone. When I was dating, it amazed me how few guys wanted to use condoms and even fewer who asked about STD history or got themselves checked. Realistically, I think that people get over their fears of unprotected sex after college (if they ever had them at all).

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          07.06.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • if you're raising your son in tribal africa, I might see your point. As it is, I don't.

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            07.06.08, 12:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Why choose Africa? WTF

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              07.06.08, 02:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
              • OMG, because the studies about circ reducing HIV transmission were done IN AFRICA, you moron???

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                07.06.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • hello racist comment! Most of the world does not circumcise their baby boys. are there only STDs in "tribal africa"?

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              07.06.08, 02:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
              • np: I think the only real evidence out there is that it halts spread of aids in Africa

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                07.06.08, 03:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • NP: I found that evidence pretty compelling.

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                  07.06.08, 03:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • I did too. We have AIDs here, and in certain subsets of the population, it is growing again too because people have gotten lax about condom usage. It may be more treatable here, but it is still a fatal and nasty disease.

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                    07.06.08, 03:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • But we live here in America and this is one area we shouldn't follow the rest of the world on. I take back my point on your comment being racist on further thought.

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                07.06.08, 03:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It doesn't mean that someone has more of a say, it means you have a reasoned discussion and one person is able to sway the other to their POV, even if they wouldn't have done it on their own

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      07.06.08, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i am 23 years old, got cirmcumsicion 3 months ago. I had normal penis my whole life, and a small bruise got me fimosis and had to go througth circumsicion. Having tried both forms, circumsiced is a bit more comfortable during sex. Still i would prefer to have it like before, extra protection and preserves sensibility. Not that i miss it too much tougth, not a revelant change, i suggest leaving it there unless medical circumsicion is needed like in my case

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      09.10.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I always thought I had the trump card in this debate but you win. I'm a circ'ed dad who after research and discussion decided to not circ my sons. #2, because of a issues with his bladder and ureter, had to be circ'ed later on. I'm with you. Unless you have cultural/religious stuff involved, leave the penis be. (And the "oddity in the locker room" argument is stupid. I played organized sports through college. I could not tell you which of my team mates were or were not cut.)

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        09.10.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Dh won and we circumcised. But db was miserable that whole day and I regretted the decision. If I had it to do over again, I would fight harder for no circ.

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      09.10.08, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Well, I am Jewish and DH isn't. DH doesn't want the little guy slashed, but if #2 is a DS I think he will most likely give me more of a say since I would like him to be circumsized. By the way, DH's parents went back and forth and circumsized him at one month. They recommend deciding right away and sticking with your guns. I 100% see both sides (yes or no), but this he can decide stuff is silly to me.

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      09.10.08, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My husband is British - my OB GYN was Jewish - we live in the US. She told me that my son should match is father. We didnt' do it. My son got a urinary tract infection at 12 weeks and they had to shoot dye up his penis. He wailed like you cannot believe and so did I. I regret it. They say that infection is rare but...I so regret not getting him circumcised.

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      09.23.08, 08:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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