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  • If both you and your husband are arguing over circumcising your son, who wins? There is a poster below who says her husband wouldn't have more of a say in it, but ONE of you has got to have more of a say, the kid either gets circumcised or not, someone wins, someone does more of a say!

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    07.05.08, 07:25 PM [ Flagged ]
    • We didn't argue, but I was inclined to let DH have more of a say on this issue.

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      07.05.08, 07:29 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • ditto. I was sort of surprised (and pleased) when dh said he did not want to circ son, but I would have deferred to him if he felt really strongly on the subject.

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        07.05.08, 08:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • I let dh decide.

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      07.05.08, 08:02 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • we argued and I let dh decide (we did circ). I've won other arguments. I think it comes down to who cares more.

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      07.05.08, 08:07 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • Simple. Don't circumcise and continue discussions. You can always circumcise later, but you can't uncircumcise.

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      07.05.08, 08:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Yes, this is what we did. I didn't want to circ and won out because we could always do it later. There's no medical need to do it, so I didn't feel like I needed to defer to my dh's desire to do it for aesthetic reasons. Even my Jewish friends who did it said that after watching the process, they wouldn't do it again.

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        07.05.08, 08:50 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • NP: We had a different experience. We did have a medical reason for considering circumcision (DS has a kidney abnormality and there are some studies that suggest circumcision reduces the risk of UTI in children with compromised kidneys). Before the birth, doctors said we could wait and see, but that circumcision is much more traumatic for older infants/children than newborns so we elected to do it within a few days of his birth. No regrets.

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          07.06.08, 08:12 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • There are some things you should not see. Just turn your head during the ceremony. The truth is (and what no one is admitting) that it is unlikely that DS after living with an uncircumcised penis for many years will decide to have it snipped. He's comfortable the way he is. So in effect we are making the decision for him. That's why I'm having problems with all this "he can decide later" reasoning.

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          07.06.08, 05:55 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • So he will not want to have it snipped down the road. More power to him. Why would you care?

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            09.10.08, 09:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • You really can't decide later. It's a momentary discomfort at birth, excruciating later.

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        04.12.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • It hurts a lot at brith too, don't kid yourself. you're removing part of your son's penis (unnecessarily, I might add). it's painful and takes weeks to heal.

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          05.12.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • we discussed it a lot and read all the information out there. then he said, unless our son was gay then a man's opinion was probably not as useful as a woman's opinion, aesthetically. so I polled my friends who'd had the most male partners (women friends and gay man friends just in case, lol) about their opinions of each and why, and in the end we did not circ. there ya go!

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      07.05.08, 08:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • the same could be said for any argument, really. someone always wins, and someone else loses.

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      07.05.08, 11:28 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • DH here won that discussion. It came down to pure "design aerodynamics". The neccessity debate is irrelevant. Just ask yourself this: Do I want my son to be in the minority with a different shaped penis? How will he handle being a source of curiousity in the locker room?Will his future partners deal with it or want the familiar shape?

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      07.06.08, 01:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • The minority question doesn't work anymore. It's practically 50/50. The deciding factor for us was, its ds penis and ds can make the decision when he's old enough.

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        07.06.08, 08:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • Bull! They're still in the minority and to make your son decide later in life is just idiotic. Your DH should've manned up, gotten it done and over with. DS can then spend time grappling with which college to attend or some other major life decision.

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          07.06.08, 08:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • np and what is wrong with a man deciding about his own penis? How is that idiotic? I find it strange that so many parents don't consider letting the owner decide.

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            07.06.08, 11:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
            • Look, how many men would let a knife get anywhere near their cocks later in life? So all this talk about letting DS decide later in life is so lame. If DH wants it to be circumcised or not just decide and stop the hand wringing. No need to bring up a tribe in Africa; that just sounds racist and ignorant.

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              07.06.08, 02:52 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
            • Ditto. I like you. I'm not altering my son's genitalia unnecessarily unless there's a medical reason. And cir'd men are the minority in the world. In the US it's about 50/50.

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              04.12.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • my dh is uncirc. Are you implying he is less of a "man" because he isn't circ?

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            07.06.08, 11:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • stupid, stupid, and most of all, sad.

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            07.06.08, 11:25 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Ugh, this is such stupid and specious reasoning. Why not make your son feel strong and proud and independent rather than encouraging conformity in all aspects (right from birth!)?

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        07.06.08, 11:24 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • this is not about conformity. If you him to buck the trend and go against the grain he can mismatched socks or a manskirt.

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          07.06.08, 05:31 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Funny, my DH is uncircumcised and athletic. Maybe he got so good at sports because he didn't spend all his time in the locker room playing with other boys' dicks?

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        11.30.08, 03:21 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • lol. Dh has never seen a dick in the locker room other except from the old men who could care less and walk around naked.

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          04.12.09, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the way I approached it was not trying to WIN, but to educate dh. Once I really made him look at what circumcision is and the reasons it's done, he was totally converted. Now he's more anti-circ than I am!

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      07.06.08, 11:23 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Is DH circumcised? Sounds like you bullied DH and he just went yes dear.

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        07.06.08, 03:01 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • dh is circed. And dh is not bully-able, believe me. What he is is smart, and convinced by data. There is absolutely NO medical indication for circumcision.

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          07.06.08, 05:41 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • I know this is ancient but this described me -- except it was having the debate with my brother (who is also circ'ed) which convinced me to not do it to my son. (I posted the "I always thought" post below.)

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            09.10.08, 07:52 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • I'm not letting dh have more of a say about a major decision affecting a child I had to grow and spend 24 hours getting out of my body. No way. Get away from my son with that scalpel or it ends up in your throat!

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      07.06.08, 11:24 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • What I never understand is when we talk about this, people in the US never talk about STDs. Circumcision greatly reduces the chances of getting all sorts of diseases, and consequently reduces the amount the diseases spread. Why is this never mentioned, because to me it is a good reason to circumcise.

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      07.06.08, 11:26 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • It is absolutely NOT a good reason to circumcise. It's a good reason to educate your kids, male and female, on using prophylactics and safe sex in general.

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        07.06.08, 11:29 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • yes, but how far does that go? Honestly, I know a ton of men and women who still really only care about pregnancy when thinking about sleeping with someone. When I was dating, it amazed me how few guys wanted to use condoms and even fewer who asked about STD history or got themselves checked. Realistically, I think that people get over their fears of unprotected sex after college (if they ever had them at all).

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          07.06.08, 11:33 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • if you're raising your son in tribal africa, I might see your point. As it is, I don't.

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            07.06.08, 12:15 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
            • Why choose Africa? WTF

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              07.06.08, 02:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
              • OMG, because the studies about circ reducing HIV transmission were done IN AFRICA, you moron???

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                07.06.08, 05:42 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
            • hello racist comment! Most of the world does not circumcise their baby boys. are there only STDs in "tribal africa"?

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              07.06.08, 02:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
              • np: I think the only real evidence out there is that it halts spread of aids in Africa

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                07.06.08, 03:02 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
                • NP: I found that evidence pretty compelling.

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                  07.06.08, 03:53 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
                  • I did too. We have AIDs here, and in certain subsets of the population, it is growing again too because people have gotten lax about condom usage. It may be more treatable here, but it is still a fatal and nasty disease.

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                    07.06.08, 03:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
              • But we live here in America and this is one area we shouldn't follow the rest of the world on. I take back my point on your comment being racist on further thought.

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                07.06.08, 03:28 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • it is simply NOT TRUE: http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/411366/1650681http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/411366/1650681

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        11.30.08, 02:08 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Oh please, a condom helps prevent STD's. Most men in Scandinavia is not circumcised and I don't think they have more STD's than the typical US one.

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        11.30.08, 02:28 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • It doesn't mean that someone has more of a say, it means you have a reasoned discussion and one person is able to sway the other to their POV, even if they wouldn't have done it on their own

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      07.06.08, 03:51 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • i am 23 years old, got cirmcumsicion 3 months ago. I had normal penis my whole life, and a small bruise got me fimosis and had to go througth circumsicion. Having tried both forms, circumsiced is a bit more comfortable during sex. Still i would prefer to have it like before, extra protection and preserves sensibility. Not that i miss it too much tougth, not a revelant change, i suggest leaving it there unless medical circumsicion is needed like in my case

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      09.10.08, 07:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • I always thought I had the trump card in this debate but you win. I'm a circ'ed dad who after research and discussion decided to not circ my sons. #2, because of a issues with his bladder and ureter, had to be circ'ed later on. I'm with you. Unless you have cultural/religious stuff involved, leave the penis be. (And the "oddity in the locker room" argument is stupid. I played organized sports through college. I could not tell you which of my team mates were or were not cut.)

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        09.10.08, 07:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Interesting, friend's DH had it done as an adolescent for medical reasons and was disturbed enough either by the stuff leading up to it and/or the surgery itself that he advocated for circ their DSs. But didn't care enough to make the appointment (typical for this guy).

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        04.13.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Dh won and we circumcised. But db was miserable that whole day and I regretted the decision. If I had it to do over again, I would fight harder for no circ.

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      09.10.08, 07:49 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • Well, I am Jewish and DH isn't. DH doesn't want the little guy slashed, but if #2 is a DS I think he will most likely give me more of a say since I would like him to be circumsized. By the way, DH's parents went back and forth and circumsized him at one month. They recommend deciding right away and sticking with your guns. I 100% see both sides (yes or no), but this he can decide stuff is silly to me.

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      09.10.08, 08:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • My husband is British - my OB GYN was Jewish - we live in the US. She told me that my son should match is father. We didnt' do it. My son got a urinary tract infection at 12 weeks and they had to shoot dye up his penis. He wailed like you cannot believe and so did I. I regret it. They say that infection is rare but...I so regret not getting him circumcised.

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      09.23.08, 08:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • 1. I don't beleieve you.

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        11.29.08, 10:52 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • 1) I don't believe you. 2) You have no absolute proof that his foreskin actually "caused" that particular infection; it's likely something YOU DID or didn't do, such as improper diaper changes, and whatnot, caused it. 3) Do you honestly think that the UTI (you caused) is more painful than CRUSHING your son's nerve-packed foreskin off the end of his penis is?? Don't be absurd! --- His body; his choice.

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        11.29.08, 10:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • UTIs are actually one of the first things dr.s look for in any sick baby, boy or girl.

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        11.30.08, 03:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • I find this debate always fascinating because I am from Europe where boys are not c'ed. In my country, it is viewed as something quite shocking to do. US pediatricians actually do not recommend c'ing. http://www.aap.org/publiced/br_circumcision.htm It seems more and more people educate themselves and choose not to circumcise anymore here in the US

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      11.30.08, 12:04 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • I am European as well and I totally agree with the poster above. Some friends I know circumcised their son with the result that his urine tract now are not straigth or something like that. Too see small baby boys with the crust after being circumcised is for me a bit offensive and I can't understand why anyone would inflict pain on their newborn.

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        11.30.08, 02:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • same here!

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        11.30.08, 03:53 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • Dont be so naive, the FACTS are that there are some benfits to being circ'd. Look it up ol chap. Not circing your son is a cruel and unusual punishment. Everybody I know to be circed are very happy that they were, but almost all say that if they werent they could not go through with the operation because of the thought a getting their cock cut. PUtting a child in a position to decide is unfair, its a painful procedure that should have been done when they are infants so that they dont remembver it and are not traumatized. It not fair to wait when the childs memory has developed and then theres no forgetting what they went through. My best friends newborn had to be sent to the IC unit because his GF didnt want their son circed and his cock got riddled with infection. My god, some of you people make me sick, your going to regret it in a few years when no one will fuck your uncirced sons and when they hire a prostitute they die of AIDS. All because you couldn't step up as a good parent and make a decision and do whats best for your child instead of showing pisspoor parenting skills and putting that burden on a child. Yeah Im just glad none of you uncriced supporters were my parents because you are obviously not very good ones.

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          05.12.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • The one who says no wins because the hospital will not do it unless both agrees. One of my bf will absolutely not do it but her dh wants, they can't agree but she will just refuse at the hospital so he has no choice.

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      11.30.08, 03:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • Im calling BS on that one. It's ALWAYS the mother who legally has the final say in matters such as these. I would know, I'm a doctor.

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        05.12.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Admittedly I don't support circumsicion, but were I in that situation I believe the inclination NOT to do it holds considerably more weight. Down the road, a DS could choose to have the foreskin removed. I don't think it's necessary for parents to perform all the cosmetic procedures of a lifetime for their chidren at birth.

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      11.30.08, 03:18 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
    • i think it comes down to aesthetics. let's face it an uncirced penis is down right ugly. if you want your son to have a second date get him circed. plain and simple.

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      11.30.08, 04:39 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
      • NOT TRUE!!!

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        11.30.08, 05:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • This is BS & if you decide on whether or not to get your kid circ because of a 2nd date you are a complete whack job. Circumcision is barbaric in my opinion.

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        11.30.08, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • barbaric??? people have been doing this for centuries.

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          12.01.08, 05:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • LOL now whos the whack job? Since when is ANY medical procedure barbaric? And why would judging getting circed on dates be a bad thing?? THats honestly what it comes down to is fitting in right? I think that making your child go through humiliation like that is far more barbaric than circing. You can say what ever you want you dumb bitch but the fact of the matter is that some girls wont fuck an uncircd guy. Most wont mind true, but theres still a large number that find that shit sick. I would know, Im a dr.

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          05.12.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • BS a lot of really handsome men get laid in Scandinavia all the time.

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        11.30.08, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • As well as the UK and the rest of Europe.

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        11.30.08, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Why doesn't anyone consider that some people actually prefer the look of an uncircumcised penis. I know most of my ex's did. Plus, after I got circed, at age 17 and by my own accord, I regretted it instantly. I'd also like to add that adds to a males pleasure and doesn't effect woman either way, so why is it such a big freaking deal to you people!

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        04.02.09, 09:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Actually it does affect a womans pleasure. How would you like to get fucked by a pickle with a loose tissue on the end? most women think uncirced are FREAKS NANANANANA

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          05.12.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'm a 20 year old guy who was circumcised at birth and is really happy that I was. Personally, I think uncircumcised penises are rather ugly. I know some of you disagree but that's my opinion on it. Also, I think women (at least American women) are much more used to circumcised penises so they won't give that awkward stare that I've heard happens to some uncircumcised men. I remember back when I was in elementary school there was this one kid who happened to be uncircumcised and a lot of the other boys used to make fun of him for how "different" or "weird" it looked. There are also health benefits I've read about such as circumcised men being less susceptible to STDs. Whenever I have a son I'm going to have him circumcised. I guess to each his own.

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      04.12.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • There's ALWAYS such a myopically one-sided representation on UB. It doesn't even matter what the rant is, it's always left-leaning extremists bullying people into believing everyone is entitled to THEIR opinion. I don't know what poll or women you people have asked but not one woman I know actively PREFER the look of the uncirc. penis or would PREFER a man who has one.

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        04.12.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • When it turns out that a new partner is uncircd, I'm always disappointed.

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          04.12.09, 02:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • uncircumcised penises are ugly, indeed. And it's not only a question of looks, but um, also hygiene.

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            04.13.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • yup. and we uncirc'ed men just do not know how to clean our penis correctly. You have to teach me!

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              04.13.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Apparently not because I have heard a plethora of horror stories about you uh..people. You sicken me with your sarcasm like you being a freak is no big deal

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                05.12.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Wow, a person whose penis HASN'T been touched by a scalpel is a freak? This is how God made 'em, honey.

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                  05.12.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • NP: The freak is the person that needs to resurrect a thread from months and months ago in order to spew vitrol about other people's bodies.

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                    05.12.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I prefer un, and know several women who agree. my own random sampling tells me that cut men are less sensitive. I like the extra skin. The ignorant pickle with skin analogy above was clearly from someone who's never seen an erect natural penis -- there isn't that much skin involved. And what guy w/ modern plumbing can't keep himself clean enough? That argument is like saying a girl should lose her labia to keep all the crevices squeaky clean. FWIW, I'm Jewish, but would never have had a son circumcised. I'm glad the custom is waning.

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          05.12.09, 01:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Should ALWAYS be Dad's decision. Mom should stay out of it.

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      04.13.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • What's the reasoning behind that? Why does dad know better? Most dads were not involved in the decisions that their parents made when it came to circ him or not. From a male perspective having a cut penis or not makes absolutely no difference.

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        04.13.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Because Dad has a cock and Mom doesn't. It's just as silly as Dad insisting he knows best about the care of DD's vagina, and whether she should use pads or tampons.

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          04.13.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • My DH knows as much about vaginas and whether to use tampons or pads as I do.

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            04.13.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • well thats just sad. MAybe you should have married a man and not a pussy you dumb bitch. Whores need to keep their uncirced cocksuckers closed for buisness.

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              05.12.09, 12:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
        • Male here. It absolutely DOES make a difference. You must be a woman.

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          04.13.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • No, I am a DH. Neither I nor DW had the last word in this. In the end we agreed that the child will decide for himself when he's older/

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            04.13.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Mom here. It's Dad's decision because he has the equipment.

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          04.13.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I admittedly must have grown up living in a cave but in my experience (limited?) have never met an educated man from a mc/umc family whether American, or British, etc, who was not circumcised. No opinions, just fact.

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        04.13.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Do you check the penis of every educated man you meet?

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          05.12.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • My dh isn't circumciesed, comes from very educated family, umc, I believe it was because he wasn't healthy at birth and they couldn't do the procedure, but it's never been a problem, and the sex is great.

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          05.12.09, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • You have definitely grown up in a cave. Guess they did your surgery with a piece of flint? My dh, umc, and very well educated is intact.

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          05.21.09, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DH

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      05.12.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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