new post »
see more posts »
Can this friendship be saved? I have become good friends with dd's best friend's mom over the school year (same preschool). In the fall, she would vent about/talk about private school application process, which we didn't do. That kind of morphed into G&T talk
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]^^^hit reply too soon. sorry. anyway, hard to explain, but I never mentioned that my dd was taking the G&T test as well -- I just assumed we'd be going to our zoned school, which I love. And she was very entertaining the way she talked about the process, so I let her go. She told me about a lot of the school tours -- which I never had time to go on. So fast forward to today. Yes, her dd got shut out (df only wanted citywide) with a 98 and my 99 got into her #1 choice. She's called me three times crying, and the guilt is killing me. I didn't tell her at first because I still thought we'd decline the spot -- but DH is so excited and has talked me into it. Tonight she called and apologized to me for being so selfish about the school mess and realizes our zoned school is great and she is so glad our dd's will be going to the same school. AAACCK!!! What do I DO???
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I could barely sleep last night over this whole mess. Any suggestions on how I can tell her?
[ Reply | Options ]Tell her you applied on a lark and that because you were feeling superstitious you didn't tell anyone you applied - and are shocked you got it. Tell her you think it's just a matter of luck and you weren't even sure you would send dc there over zoned school. Let her talk you into taking it.
[ Reply | Options ]Np: I think the superstitous part is a good idea. I wouldn't say lark, only because I wouldn't want to make some sort of joke over the process she obviously cared so much about. Fwiw - I didn't tell anyone I was taking the LSAT or applying to law school until I got it because I didn't want to jinx it. Some people are just weird like that.
[ Reply | Options ]
I think the hardest part will be explaining why you didn't discuss the fact that you were going through the whole process too. I think that's a bit odd. Did you not discuss it at all or just not as much? Did you not discuss that she took the test and that you went through the application process? If the test was administered at school, then she must know that dd took the test, so IF IT RINGS TRUE, tell you applied just to see if you'd get in. Just try to be as honest as possible. Then tell her how much you value your friendship. one of dd's best friends not only does not live in the neighborhood (we're in the West Village, they're in Tribeca), but they haven't been in the same school since 2nd grade (they're finishing 9th). I also consider her mom a good friend.
[ Reply | Options ]
You're selfish and I wouldn't want to be your friend. The truth is, you didn't tell her because you were afraid DD would not score well. Because you couldn't put yourself out there, you do not truly trust this person or want the friendship. Give it up.
[ Reply | Options ]if i were her, id probably think you were strange and basically unfriendly to never share anything -- it would have nothing to do with the fact that your dd got into a school. if the reality is you didnt feel comfortable discussing your life with her, then you aren't really friends anyway, so you probably wont be in the future
[ Reply | Options ]
Boards Help
Abbreviations
More Boards Help
Site Feedback Thank you for your feedback about the new site. We are paying close attention to your comments and we will incorporate them as we make improvements to the site. Please continue to report problems and offer feedback on the Site Feedback Board and visit our Site Talk blog for answers to some of your questions and updates on specific issues.
More Boards Help
Site Feedback Thank you for your feedback about the new site. We are paying close attention to your comments and we will incorporate them as we make improvements to the site. Please continue to report problems and offer feedback on the Site Feedback Board and visit our Site Talk blog for answers to some of your questions and updates on specific issues.
Flashback
