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I promised my 5-yr old ds a night out tonight...just the two of us...we're going to relieve some stress. I'll pick him up from his daycare at about 6:00 pm, but still no ideas on what to do. Can't go see Kung Fu Panda without my dd because she'll be totally pissed. I know he won't want to do anything at home. Any ideas?
74 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]A 5-year-old should be in bed by 7PM. And what kind of "stress" does he need to "relieve"?
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Thanks for all of the ideas. As far as my ds being stressed, he is totally ready for kindergarten and has been for almost a year. He's the oldest one at his daycare now and doesn't even want to go to his daycare any more even though he receives separate lessons with challenging work. Just about every morning we struggle with this. Some mornings he really gets himself all worked up. Almost everyday he wants to know when will he finally be going to kindergarten. Sometimes I have to tell him stories about how wonderful kindergarten will be in order to get him to go to sleep. He sees my dd being invited to parties and playdates with classmates and even comes with us to her class events, he knows all of the children in her class. But, he's sad because this whole kindergarten admissions process has been going on for so long. My ds is beginning to wonder if he'll ever go to kindergarten himself. I would love to get my dc in bed by 7:00 pm, but that's only realistic for stay-at-home moms that don't rely on afterschool. On any given weekday my dd is just getting home from afterschool at about 6:30 pm. By the time my dc get their baths, have dinner, tell us about their day and we read books, it's already 8:30/9:00 pm.
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This is a reply to "A 5yo should be in bed by 7pm," but I couldn't reply below (I wish UB would fix that!). Sleep is not an exact science. My 5yo ds generally goes to sleep between 8 and 8:30, sometimes 9 or so on weekend nights. He is well-rested and well adjusted. There is a RANGE of sleep kids need at particular ages, not the same number of hours for each one. (np)
[ Reply | Options ]Pediatrician here. Actually, no... there is NOT a "range of sleep". Kids that age need a minimum of 11 hours, regardless of how hectic the parents' schedules are.
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And let's face it - only a SAHM would put a 5 yo to bed at 7 (not that I blame them after a long day)
[ Reply | Options ]No. Only a WOHM would selfishly rob a child of his sleep so she could spend "quality time" with him.
[ Reply | Options ]Yeah, ok, then we're agreed. No WOHMs put their 5 yos to sleep at 7, esp. on a non-school night.
[ Reply | Options ]I guess my reply was too long because all of it didn't post. 7:00 pm bedtime is only realistic for stay-at-home moms. On any given weekday my dd is just getting home from afterschool at about 6:30 pm. By the time my dc get their baths, have dinner, tell us about their day and we read books, it's already 8:30/9:00 pm.
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I think my 12 years of education and 25 years of clinical practice in the field of pediatrics gives me license to judge on this particular topic. Thanks for your input, however.
[ Reply | Options ]Here is a reality check for you. Working parents put their kids in afterschool because there's no one to pick them up after school. They mostly play, do a light enrichment course, and older kids do their homework. So your professional commentary is extremely unhelpful to those parents. My ds, who only goes to afterschool one day a week, has begged me to put him in for two more days, because he thinks it's fun.
[ Reply | Options ]Here's a reality check for YOU. Working parents make the conscious choice to WORK. They also need to be responsible parents and create a stable home life that will provide their children with the amount of sleep they need, even if that means cutting back at work and economizing on the family budget. And just because a kid thinks something is "fun" doesn't mean it's good for him. Lots of kids think it's "fun" to play with matches and stick paper clips into electrical outlets, but thankfully most parents don't indulge every little whim and want.
[ Reply | Options ]you are very narrow minded. I make the choice to pay for rent and food, and it would be really irresponsible for me to do otherwise I think. And the response that, Oh, it's different for you, you HAVE to work, doesn't cut it now that you have explained that my kid is screwed because of his lifestyle. How can you be educated and so...uneducated?
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excuse me? If you were my kid's ped I would definitely switch doctors. Your "guidelines" are way too stringent. Since you know oh so much about children you should know by now that they are human beings and strict rules just don't apply. Some kids are like this, others like that.
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wrong. I am WOH and both my kids go to bed 7-715p everynight. They need the sleep.
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How would you schedule your dc if you and your dc got in at about 6:30 pm on weeknights because you need to work in order to pay your bills and so your dc have to stay in daycare & afterschool until 6:00pm. If you have some sort of working schedule please share. I've been trying to get my dc into bed earlier, but there seems to be no real solution for WOHMs who have no choice but to work.
[ Reply | Options ]Put your DC straight to bed at 7PM. Your child should not have to pay in lack of sleep for your failure to properly maintain a home life. Most WOHMs DO have a choice: they can ECONOMIZE, and stay at home, or work part-time. They just CHOOSE not to.
[ Reply | Options ]So, walk in the door at 6:30, inhale the take-out food you ordered on the way home (because there is no time to cook anything), forget about the bath/shower, no books, just eat, brush teeth and go straight to bed. Sounds like a great schedule to me. Oh, and DC is bouncing out of bed at 6am, after 11 hrs of sleep. DCs can go to bed regularly at 8/8:30 and still get 11 hrs every night.
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replying to response above: actually, in the real world, most wohms do NOT have a choice to stay home forever. In fact, poor moms are forced to work now through workfare, and the overwhelming number of people depend on 2 incomes. And, once again, if your ds goes to sleep at 8, gets up at 7, or on friday goes to sleep at 9 and gets up at 8, he's getting enough sleep. I'm very happy you're not my ped! (not OP)
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Because I'm a mom of small children. That's who this board is for. Not for judgmental peds of older kids (or no kids)
[ Reply | Options ]This board is for ANYONE. Click on the "about us" link. Educate yourself. Empower yourself. Learn. It's a good thing.
[ Reply | Options ]Whoa, you really don't have kids? At least tell me you have older kids, please. Any parent can tell you, all the reading in the world, and that's for peds too, teaches you nothing about actually being a parent. I had very strong ideas about rights and wrongs of childrearing until I actually became a parent. Now, ha! We do the best we can.
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Well, not really. Lurking here without kids is like being an anorexic on chowhound. But in any case, I cannot believe that you can be so hollier-than-thou as a working mom. No ped practicing for 25 years straight in the city got to see their kids if they were in bed by 7 PM. So what are you saying, you never saw your kids growing up but at least they got 11 hours of sleep?
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Hey, OP, aside from all the sleep debate, have fun with your ds tonight! Just going to dinner and hanging out should be great.
[ Reply | Options ]Why don't we discuss exactly how many squares of toilet paper should be used to wipe our asses. There must be an appropriate "range" we should adhere to, or at least a minimum, right?
[ Reply | Options ]If I put my 5 yr old to sleep at 7 ,she will be up at 11 wanting to play, and it she will not go back to sleep until 12. we aim for 9 she sleeps till 8. On days she took a long nap during the day, she sleeps around 10 -11 and wakes up at 8. SO average 10-11 hours of sleep. I quess I am ok. Little 1 year old get about the same about of sleep.
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