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My conclusion on the swing wars. If you think it's wrong to ask for a turn it's because you are passive aggressive and would ask this as a demand. The rest of us are normal healthy people who know how to interact with others.
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I grew up in the sticks and we did a count down for turns on the swing. I bet my kid would get beat up by a mom if he did that now.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I got bashed for saying I made my kid get off the swing if he'd been on for a while and there was a wait. People are nuts.
[ Reply | Options ]see below--I police dd and her friends to get off ofter a while if there is a line. waaay too many overentitled brats out there
[ Reply | Options ]nnp: (Well, I just posted below.) I would argue that the person telling their kid to ask for a turn, in your situations, is interjecting in your parenting. Unless it has been some extreme amount of time (which was never established) telling your kid to ask my kid to get off is akin to saying, "I don't think you are going to monitor your kid and get off in a a reasonable amount of time." That is where I draw the line. (Not like I actually care but it is UB so I'll play along.)
[ Reply | Options ]Some kids never get off. My dd is old enough that she goes to swings alone, and in the 6+ set there are plenty of kids that will happily swing for half hour or more with plenty of other kids waiting. If you don't teach your kid to ask they'll never get a turn.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm confused. You don't mean that your 6 year old goes to the park by herself or is alone/out of sight there for half an hour or more do you?
[ Reply | Options ]Not mine, but many of the kids are. Parents/babysitters are in the bench area near the exit, far away from the swings.
[ Reply | Options ]OK. I feel like the example just changed. The two posts I was replying to both talked about parents/caregivers on hand and actively involved. If that is not the case then the answer changes. If my 5 yo kid is alone in the park and hogging the swing -- you have every right to direct your kid to ask him for a turn.
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np: This is absurd. I think it is wrong to ask for a turn because I monitor my kid and my kid doesn't hog the swing. If you think my kid is on too long, come and deal with me. (I did not post for or against on any of the other swing discussions.)
[ Reply | Options ]first of all, thanks for coming and discussing something rationally. i actually thought the opposite. i think it's great for my dd to learn to ask for her turn. why should i come and interfere?
[ Reply | Options ]Because for my kid (and most kids of his age group I think) if you (the litle girl in the OP) ask him to share either he shares or he doesn't. And if he doesn't get off right away he will feel like he hasn't shared well. But if he swings while you wait quietly then I say, "ok, your turn is up." He gets off, probably smiles at her as he walks away and feels good about having shared.
[ Reply | Options ]that's why parents should be monitoring their kids, to prompt them in how to react to situations. imo, the asker's mom was doing her job by prompting her dd to ask for a turn. i teach my kids that when someone asks for a turn, they should finish up their turn and give the next person a turn. if no one is waiting, they can play indefinitely. if someone is waiting, there's a limit. i think it's a healthy lesson and i'm surprised the kid's mom would be considered overbearing.
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