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  • My husband & I dismissed private w/ 3 dcs, b/c we figured we couldn't possibly get enough FA. We live in Brooklyn -- what is the best we could probably do?

    54 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.26.08, 05:02 PM [ Flag ]
    • Some people get 80-90% aid. Extremely high ERB?

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      05.26.08, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ERBs don't correlate with financial aid. Aid is based on the need of the family--not the smarts of the child (who, of course, qualifies for admission). np

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        05.26.08, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • The report is based on need but the school itself can give more than the report recommends because they want the child, so high ERB can make a difference as well as diversity. We applied to 9 schools for FA and this is how it was explained to us.

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          05.27.08, 07:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Not sure what you're asking. But I wouldn't assume you couldn't get enough FA. The more dc you have, the more FA most schools will offer you. And there are definitely families w/ 3 dc in private, receiving FA if that's what you're worried about.

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      05.26.08, 05:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nothing like bringing 3 lives into the world and then looking for a handout to educate them. don't you people think about this before you contribute to overpopulation?

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      05.26.08, 06:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • The wording here is cold, but i had the same thought. DH and I just sat down and realized we really cant have a 3rd, and still live the kind of life we want to live. Funny to see other people's reverse-planning mindsets.

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        05.26.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • OP: I got pg w/ twins the 2nd time. Wasn't planned & has been very stressful since they were born. I would leave city in a minute but my husband is legally blind & can't drive. Only on UB can people hide behind their anonymity & be so judgemental. AND, I said we had dismissed private. You MUST be a Republican to be so selfish.

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          05.26.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • oh sure, all liberals actually care about you. Idiot.

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            05.26.08, 06:31 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
          • I wasn't thinking of the twin scenario. And no - - diehard liberal! Who wishes we could afford a third!

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            05.26.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i don't know much about this stuff, but i think it would be hard to place twins at a private, much less with fa. gl.

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            05.26.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • How F*cking dare you. i was feeling REALLY bad for you and rooting for you until that comment. I'm a Republican and if you knew me IRL you would NEVER call me selfish. Until now you seemed like a reasonable person doing well with challenging circumstances. I was admiring you. Then you made a narrow-minded, prejudicial comment. And I'm sure you take offense when people are unfair to your family because of your husband's blindness...but THEIR close-mindedness is wrong, right? YOURS is OK because it's against Republicans who must all be alike and must all be selfish and evil, right? hypocrite.

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            05.26.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • This is overly harsh. You don't know what their circumstances are, so this kind of criticism is based on your assumptions of their situation. Did you stop to consider that perhaps their children are adopted? Anyway, FA is a mechanism that schools provide to create economic, racial and cultural diversity. To call it a "handout" is demeaning to those people who receive it, and to the various organizations that spend time and money to raise funds for this valuable, time-honored tradition in private education. After all, the parents of our children's classmates will also be our friends, and I enjoy welcoming into our family of friends people who break the mold.

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        05.26.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np. There's no point trying to discuss it rationally or politely with her. She's here on a regular basis ranting about this. Her vitriol and writing style are so recognizable.

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          05.26.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • While I agree with your comment I don't see what adoption has to do with it. I'm in the process of adopting from China and I certainly won't expect to be excused from all civic and ethical responsibility because I got my child in a different way than the traditional. In order to legally adopt you have to prove that financially you can take on another child. While this doesn't mean you have to send that child to private school, I certainly don't think that adopting a child should earn you any extra financial aid points. No more so than any other family applying for FA with multiple children.

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          05.26.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np. Glad I'm not the only one scratching my head over the adoption comment.

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            05.26.08, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I wasn't suggesting that adopting a child should earn a family financial aid. I was responding to the post condemning the OP of "overpopulation." I was just trying to think of circumstances where having three might not have been in the plan for that family. Apparently, while I was writing my post, the OP said she had twins. A scenario that I didn't think of at the time. I just felt that the OP and FA were being unjustifiably attacked. I certainly had no intention of placing any value judgment on adoption and was not tying it in any way to FA...sorry to be unclear.

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            05.26.08, 07:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • oy...having three might not be in the plan! That's not what I meant either. I'm obviously tired and will stop posting. I do hope that you understand what I am trying to say!

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              05.26.08, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I don't think it is harsh. frankly if OP is in such a mess, she should forget privates and concentrate on living somewhere where she can take proper care of her dcs and her dh. going for private school in nyc in her situation just sounds stupid. nothing reasonable about it at all. its one things to get twins unexpectantly. its another to shoot to educate them in private school if you cannot afford it. anyway she is always whipping out her circumstances as an angry attack whenever someone doesn't agree that she deserves more than everyone else for having to suffer the way she does. cannot stand op

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          05.26.08, 07:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: Hello, she said she had dismissed private b/c it seemed unrealistic -- she was just asking re FA. Guess you don't have any "circumstances" in your life.

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            05.26.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • nnp. why does she care if she's already dismissed private? because she wants the throw herself another pity party. poor me, blind dh, three dcs, boo-hoo.

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              05.26.08, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • well, in her circumstances, I would find it unrealistic and would not need UB to tell me otherwise. As for circumstances in my life, I guess we all have them. Just don't pull them out in an aggressive attempt to jerk a tear. OP is entitled and angry. she uses her dh's blindness to fight others when her entitlement becomes apparent to them

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              05.26.08, 07:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • WTF? Someone was attacking her -- I don't know how that makes her entitled or angry. She was just defending herself. Do you think people should just have monosyllabic responses here?

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                05.26.08, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • she did not need to pull out the sob story in an aggresive attack. how should we know? she could have said that the twins were not anticipated and now finds herself with 3.

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                  05.26.08, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • How should we know? Yeah, assume the worst & go for the jugular

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                    05.26.08, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • np. There was nothing overly aggressive about her post, considering what she was responding to. The only thing she wrote that was attack-like was her accusation that you and the poster following you must be Republicans.

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                    05.26.08, 08:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • It is nasty post guilt that is making it a "sob story".

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                    05.26.08, 08:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Are your kids in private? You paying full freight? If you couldn't would you not consider FA?

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            05.26.08, 07:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Not liking the poster, shouldn't translate to condemning FA as a handout and accusing people with three kids of overpopulating the planet.

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            05.26.08, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np. To make the jump from OP applying for FA to not taking proper care of her family is beyond ridiculous.

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            05.26.08, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • OP: Mentioned that my dh is legally blind simply to explain why he can't drive & why moving out of city not realistic. Really wondering about FA. Really didn't need the gratuitous nastiness.

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      05.26.08, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • does legally blind mean he can see for the most part, but does not have good enough vision or depth perception to drive?

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        05.26.08, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Don't pay attention to them - I had the same circumstances. 1st dc in private then unexpected twins, didn't think we could swing all 3 but school was very good to us &gave us FA for all 3. Don't know how hard it would have been if we didn't already have a track record at that school tho.

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        05.27.08, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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