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  • dh called 3 yr old dd "good girl." Don't like that term because implies she's good or bad. I don't want her labeling herself or trying to be a good girl. How can I explain this to dh so he gets it.

    12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.26.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag ]

    • Oh shut up.

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      05.26.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • DH probably already knows you're insane.

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      05.26.08, 04:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • The above poster is rude, but the general message of "stop being so controlling" is a good one. In general, you want to praise the action rather than the child. "Your table manners were so polite tonight!" But if DH isn't into it, let it slide.

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      05.26.08, 04:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • just go have a cockatail

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      05.26.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • relax and deal with it.

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      05.26.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Tell him how you feel. It's worked for me.

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      05.26.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • no, actually, you DO want her to want to be good. what would you prefer "Good job, Madison!!" or maybe "You did so well"? maybe he can just swap the phrase

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      05.26.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Hey, OP--I'm with you. labeling "good" and "bad" doesn't sit well with me. My DH tends to label behavior as "bad". Can't put my finger on why, but I don't like it and haven't addressed it yet. Need to articulate for myself why it bothers me first.

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      05.26.08, 04:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • My dad did that to me and now I have to have my husband say "You're such a good girl" when we have sex!

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      05.26.08, 05:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • That's what we say to the dog when she poops outdoors.

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      05.26.08, 05:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • np: surprised by the neg. replies here. i agree w/ you (as does my mom, a child psychologist). you don't want dd to think SHE is bad, just that she DID something bad. just like all those kids books that say something to the effect that I still love you, even when you break a vase, or i love you all the time, even when i'm mad at you, etc.. your daughter is not bad or good. she does bad or good things.

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      05.26.08, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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