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  • I think that lateness is a sign of disrespect. People who are chronically late just don't give a crap about others.

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    05.19.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag ]
    • I completely agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I mostly agree. Although I have one friend who's always late just because she's so disorganized.

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • No excuse for not getting someplace on time when other people are involved in the plans.

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        05.19.08, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Eh, life gets in the way sometimes.

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          05.19.08, 10:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Life gets in the way for everyone. Why is ONE person chronically late? Because they are selfish and never take others into consideration.

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            05.19.08, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • OP: I agree. It is especially rude when dc's are involved in the plans. I have a friend who runs so late that I don't even tell me dc if we have plans with them anymore. Sometimes it gets so late the kids have 10 minutes of playtime when an hour playdate was planned.

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              05.19.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • This just doesn't bother me anymore. I have one friend who's always late so I just make plans that take into account her getting there late.

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              05.19.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • OP: You are an enabler then.

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                05.19.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • OP: What I do now with friend who is always late is I make plans with her with other people as well. Then we don't wait for her. So if she shows up for lunch and we are done she can have coffee with us or get something to go.

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                  05.19.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • That is nice that it doesn't bother you and you factor this in, but there are times that being prompt is critical and someone being constantly late blows it. Ex, client meeting. My boss is supposed to show up early so we can review before the meeting. He shows up 2 seconds before the meeting and I don't get to properly brief him etc. Meanwhile, I have been waiting in the lobby for one hour for him, alone...fuming....

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                05.19.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • in which case. HE is the one who isn't properly briefed and that will show up in his performance when YOU take over and lead that part of the meeting. it was your choice to wait. even if he's your boss, you can leave when he doesnt' show up in 15 min. get a coffee. relax bf your meeting and enjoy your time. OR you can sit and fume while you wait.

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                  05.19.08, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • You can't be that successful w/ that attitude. We are team. If it appears that we don't all know what is going on, our company looks really bad....

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                    05.19.08, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • you seem to be holding onto a company that looks really bad and think that I'm the one who can't be sucessful. If you thing it's unprofessional, find another job and stop whingeing.

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                      05.19.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np- Here's my test for people like this: if she had a really important job interview, might she show up late? Nine times out of ten the answer is no - so you know that the person is capable of being on time, and they are choosing not to be when the appointment isn't so important to them - its a choice. For that one person who WOULD be late to a job interview - that person needs therapy because they have a problem that is truly interfering with their lives.

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            05.19.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • ITA. it's a passive aggressive form of control

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • TOTALLY agree.

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i agree. it's been a near constant source of discord for dh and I. he mocks me for hating to be late, and he's chronically late. it is partly a cultural norm, though; where i was raised, if you were 10 minutes early you were late; in nyc, it seems if you're 5 minutes late, you're early.

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      05.19.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think there is usually a 15 minute grace period if you are meeting someone for lunch or have an appointment. I am talking about people who run an hour late for everything.

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        05.19.08, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • one of my best friends is chronically late, between 3 kids and a dh on middle eastern time. I've just learned to expect it. doesn't bother me and I'm am the complete opposite. If she doesn't mind my showing up at her house 5 minutes before I'm supposed to be there, I don't mind her showing up an hour late. The one place I did mind is dd is like me and would be ready on time and would get disheartened from waiting so long

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      05.19.08, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • ITTTA. I'm the one who posted about my nagging and my late dh. I've told him that it's disrespectful, but he doesn't see it.

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      05.19.08, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i don't think it's personal to the person waiting. so in that sense, no it's not disrespectful. but it is beyond annoying.

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      05.19.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • It is disrespectful to keep anyone waiting. People who do this to everyone are just selfish. THey think their time is more valuable than others. That is how it is disrespectful.

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        05.19.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • EXACTLY.

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          05.19.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Saying it in all capitals still doesnt' address the fact that you are allowing yoruselves to be a victim of other's chronic lateness. in which case, it's just as much your fault.

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            05.19.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • you still have to look at the big picture. and to be honest, if a person is chronically late and you know it, and you still wait for them, then you're just being a martyr. dh has always been late. i no longer wait for him. i also figure he will be late and work that into plans. it's your choice to continue waiting for a perosn who is always late. you're expecting them to live by YOUR rules whien, IMO, is just as disrespectful and pointless.

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          05.19.08, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: I kind of agree with you in that I have some friends like that and if it's just me and them I am always late too. However, if it is a group plan or other people involved it gets more complicated. In most settings, we no longer wait for people who are always late and just figure they'll show up whenever. It is not great but all you can do.

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            05.19.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i think people take it all too personally. it's not a personal disrespect. it's annoying and obnoxious. and would be ridiculous for a chronically late person to expect others to wait. but all these people who are so angry about other's lateness are waiting for the rain to fall on them then complianing bc they're wet. clearly, it serves a need for them.

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              05.19.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I agree too, and my husband can't ever seem to be anywhere on time so we are getting a stigma. How do I put an end to it?

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      05.19.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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