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  • My friend's sib died and I want to write to her, but I am so bad at this stuff and I don't know what to say. Everything I'm writing sounds so cliched. If you can suggest something, maybe that will give me some ideas. Thanks all.

    9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.19.08, 10:15 AM [ Flag ]

    • I'm so, so sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do--anything at all--please call me, even if you just want to talk.

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      05.19.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • it is all cliche for a reason - write it anyway. a call is more personal though

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • np: a call is great too, but actually a note of sympathy is both incredibly personal and the proper thing to do in this situation.

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        05.19.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • did you know the sib? It would be good to include some specific words about good qualities or recall a particular story about the sib if you have one. Also good to stay away from things like "I understand what you're going through" (unless you've been through this yourself).

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      05.19.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Op: Thank you thank you thank you, ladies.

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      05.19.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • express your condolences. there's not much more you can say or do. another thing, you can say "if there's anytihng i can do" etc etc. but the best hting to do is just stay in touch. send the occasional e-mail. call to check in. not too often. give her space and time. and never ever ever decide that she should be "over it."

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      05.19.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • my dh's sibling died last year and the most meaningful notes he received were those that recalled a funny story about his sister. it's nice to be able to smile while you're reading all those condolece cards.

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      05.19.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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