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My hair is going to turn gray before I am 35. My 12 year old has her first boyfriend. DH and I are already fearing the inevitable teenage years. We also have a 4yo dd, 2yo dd and 9wo ds that will take her place when she is finally grown. I want to have the sex talk with her, again.
34 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]have the sex talk, and leave condoms in easy reach. i know 2 16 year olds who just got pregnant.
[ Reply | Options ]what's all this have to do with eachother? I understand that you are very tired.
[ Reply | Options ]Definitely definitely definitely have a good talk with her! DH and I thought we were very aware of our dd, trusted her, didn't think she would make a decision with such impact at 12 and she wound up having sex with a 15 year old she was seeing behind our back. The beginning of her teenage years were horrible for us. She acted out and gave us attitude about everything. It was so difficult and sometimes it seems to be entirely out of your control. Stay close with your daughter, especially during these upcoming years.
[ Reply | Options ]I realize that having this as your experience skews your perspective, but this is not the norm. Not unheard of, but not the norm. definitely agree with your last two sentences
[ Reply | Options ]I realize it is not the norm, but I allowed myself to believe all those things would never happen to my daughter and it did. You just have to be aware that while it may not be the majority of teenage girls, there are still plenty doing these things and it very well could be your child. You just can't have those blinders on, no matter how good your child has been up to that point. My daughter was on the honor roll, played sports, well-behaved - this was all such a shock to me. Definitely be careful about her friends as well.
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She is 17 now, definitely improved - but I just hope that college doesn't set her back. She was dating a 21 year old that we did not approve of and he has been out of the picture for a few months and it is like we have our daughter back again.
[ Reply | Options ]that's great. my parents were very strict about not letting me date anyone older. I thought it was the stupidest thing in the world...then. I've talked to my dd over and over and over about how age matters in relationships and that kind of age difference is not appropriate (12 and 15, 17 and 21), but I would imagine it is very difficult to enforce.
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just have a lot of little talks. having a boyfriend at 12 most likely just means that they call each other my boyfriend and my girlfriend. you need to talk often and honestly about what you expect from her in terms of how she treats herself and people she loves. make sure she knows what your values are and that you expect her to share them
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UrbanBaby Asks...
When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:
- Use a carseat
- Buckle him/her in his/her own seat
- Hold him/her on my lap
- I'd never ride in a taxi with my DC, it's much too dangerous!
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