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  • Anybody know they are in a crap marriage, but feel it is not a good time for a divorce so are just trying to make the best of it? My impulsive mom says just leave him b/c he is an ass to me, but then we all look at the kids & financial reality of the situation.

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    05.14.08, 04:40 AM [ Flag ]
    • MIL stayed w/FIL for 25 miserable years until dh went to college; both he and his bro say they wish their parents would've divorced years before because it was a horrible way to grow up; and frankly-what are you teaching your dc if dh treats you poorly? do you want them to have the same rships when they grow up?

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      05.14.08, 04:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I wouldn't stay married to an ass for money.

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      05.14.08, 04:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • FWIW, my DH was verbally abusive (built up over several years). I went to counseling myself, read a million books ("How one of you can keep the two of you together" is great if you ignore all the xtian stuff), finally got to a place where I was able to give DH an ultimatum to go to counseling. He went. We're 100% better now, 2 yrs later. Very happy. It can be done. Just takes a LOT of work.

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      05.14.08, 04:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • OP: I am not looking to debate whether I should divorce him or not. For various reasons I am just not ready to (just starting new career; can't handle 3 under 4 on my own right now). For years, I have tried to get him into counseling & have just ended up there myself. The only ultimatum I think would work is if I actually physically left (which I wouldn't do b/c of kids) or actually file for divorce. I have tried lesser ultimatums. Is there some other magic to getting DH into therapy?

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      05.14.08, 05:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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