advertisement
Click Here
On ZDNet: Mumbai attacks: Tweeting terror
Sign up | Log in
new post » see more posts »
  • dh is overseas and i came across a message he wrote to a friend that he's homesick and yet doesn't want to come home.... does this mean doesn't want to come home to me??? he's been gone like 5 mos

    23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.12.08, 09:21 PM [ Flag ]
    • it's impossible to say but I wouldn't read too much into it - maybe he doesn't want to leave what he is doing now..or go back to his job. There could be plenty of reasons that aren't related to you. And part of being homesick will be missing you

      [ Reply | Options ]
      05.12.08, 09:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'm an expat and my guess is that there's a 90% chance it's not you. Being an expat has a million unexpected perks -- feeling like you're something special, feeling like you're part of the global experience, living an interesting life, etc. ... it can be hard to give that up.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      05.12.08, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • thanks for this

        [ Reply | Options ]
        05.12.08, 09:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • We've been overseas for 10 years, by choice, and are only just now looking at moving back. Granted, our nuclear family is together, but I just wanted to point out that there are many subtle benefits of being an expat that could lead to a person saying they're nervous about going back/don't want to go back, etc., that don't have to do with the spouse at home. They offer repatriation counseling for a reason (and you should see if your DH's company will provide it). GL.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          05.12.08, 09:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np - where have you been living?

            [ Reply | Options ]
            05.12.08, 09:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ooo i might look into this counseling.. do you think 6mos would necessitate it??

            [ Reply | Options ]
            05.12.08, 09:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Sure. Especially since he said that he doesn't want to come home.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              05.12.08, 09:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • i wish the counseling could START in bogota and transition to counseling at home... like in phases...

                [ Reply | Options ]
                05.12.08, 09:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Unfortunately, for repatriation training, it's usually just a 1-2 hour session. Once. But you could read up on it a little and then talk to him about what his concerns/fears/difficulties readjusting are. I think one of the biggest issues is that as an expat, you (often) feel like you're living an exciting, adventurous, different life, and then to return to the same-old, same-old, where you're just the same as everyone else, can be very hard. So maybe just keeping some of that in mind can help you help him re-adjust.

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  05.12.08, 09:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • YEAH he's definitely going to return to the same old same old. no waterfalls and tropical rainforests that i know of in chicago... and i think the language change might be sort of affecting him. the other day i was sending him new music to listen to and he almost getting irritated that i was sending him english music when he wanted to practice his spanish....? wtf? he just seems like a hermit. maybe the trauma surgery in colombia is getting to him????

                    [ Reply | Options ]
                    05.12.08, 10:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • op: his behavior has been kinda sorta weird too... i think homesickness might actually be getting to him? he's not the time to admit he's lonely, though

                [ Reply | Options ]
                05.12.08, 09:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • he hasn't been home in 5 months?? that must be so tough.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      05.12.08, 09:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • well we went to see him once, but yep, hes been in colombia

        [ Reply | Options ]
        05.12.08, 09:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • ^^be home in june, though, so i'm not planning another trip

          [ Reply | Options ]
          05.12.08, 09:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Expat mom: Well, I can see why you guys didn't go!

            [ Reply | Options ]
            05.12.08, 09:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • lol, yeah, even though colombia has gotten much better in this decade than it has been in the cartel heyday

              [ Reply | Options ]
              05.12.08, 09:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • wow, I don't know how you do it. What does dh do? My brother and SIL are in the foreign service, so both travel a lot, but never away from each other for more than 2-3 weeks at a time and they say that's pretty difficult.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            05.12.08, 09:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • he's doing some medical training, fellowship. 6mos didn't seem worth it to uproot the whole family, and i just don't know if i'm savvy enough to do colombia with small dcs. nor do i speak the language, so.. i stayed behind.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              05.12.08, 09:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • definitely the right choice, just tough on you having to handle everything yourself at home. glad he is coming home soon!

                [ Reply | Options ]
                05.12.08, 09:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • i have great friends, that's for sure. and it helps tremendously that we're in the same time zone!!

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  05.12.08, 09:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
advertisement
Click Here
advertisement
Click Here

Boards Help

Abbreviations
More Boards Help

Site Feedback Thank you for your feedback about the new site. We are paying close attention to your comments and we will incorporate them as we make improvements to the site. Please continue to report problems and offer feedback on the Site Feedback Board and visit our Site Talk blog for answers to some of your questions and updates on specific issues.