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Just got in HUGE fight with dh. When I get really really revved up (as a result of dh repeatedly ignoring me when I want to express my frustration), I have to physically leave or I will completely flip out. I*must* leave to blow off steam--we talked abt this in counseling and dh agreed to not physically get in my way. Well, we got in an argument and I got up to leave and he physically blocked me again. He yelled at me and told me I can't leave and to be a responsible mother. I got so mad that he kept shoving me, that I fought back and dh kept shoving me back in the door. Our shouts woke up our 3 yo who was very scared. I was trying to ***AVOID*** this. I just want to kill myself. Dh physically pushing me back in the house just made me more adamant to leave so it continued for a while while our 3 yo stood there in horror. I hate myself. I hate dh
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If I stay, I have no control over myself and will really flip out--screaming, yelling, hit myself, etc. It gets ugly. I am telling you, I have deep rage issues and I must leave to vent.
[ Reply | Options ]you are me - sadly.. it's awful when I get rage I can't stop sometimes I have to kick something hit something and I feel awful if dc are around - good luck - I have nothing else to say
[ Reply | Options ]I am really surprised. I have never encountered anyone else like this (other than my dad and mom--who did this)
[ Reply | Options ]ooohh we should be friends - my dh says I am the ONLY woman on earth like this! He drives me to the point of no return sometimes!
[ Reply | Options ]I know. I have deeeeep rage. I feel so bad afterwards too but I can't stop myself. I told my therapist it is like I am having an out of body experience where I see myself losing it but can't stop myself
[ Reply | Options ]mirror image of me - there's a point at which there is no stopping me, and I know I can't control it - I will say something awful and suddenly it feels like I am watching a bad movie
[ Reply | Options ]np: i've also had similar experiences, for me it was like i was floating above myself just watching what was going on
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first off, i'm really sorry. secondly, my dh and i used to have fights JUST like this. when we got into arguements all i wanted to do was to leave. its because i cant help but to start crying and i get all worked up and need to escape the situation. he g s bad that i want to "run away form the problem" and tries to restrain me. a few times it got very physical. BUT we were able to work it out. this hasn't happened again since we were dating. we have found a way to not let it escalate to where i get into that "flight" mode. ONCE it did get there, and he tried to convince me to stay and i just left, and he let me. came back 5 mins later and talked it out. you just really need to find a way to communicate better. think of it this way: at least by trying to get you to stay it means that he really wants to work things out with you. he really does care, even though it comes out in a scary way. GL.
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Well how are you trying to express your frustration? It is common for men to not acknowledge partner's anger. This isn't a good coping skill however and both of these coping skills will be soaked up like a sponge by your child unless you both get some coaching in learning to communicate. You are both role models for your child.
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UrbanBaby Asks...
When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:
- Use a carseat
- Buckle him/her in his/her own seat
- Hold him/her on my lap
- I'd never ride in a taxi with my DC, it's much too dangerous!
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