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  • I recently lost my mom. Today my aunt (mom's sister) called to invite me over to another aunt's house for mother's day get togather with the family. I said yes because I didn't want to insult her (she's a little sensitive) but I also feel like I don\ really want to go. ugh, should I cancel and make up some excuse? or just get it over with?

    16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.06.08, 03:35 PM [ Flag ]

    • You might enjoy being in their company. If you get there and feel like it's just too much, I'm sure they'd understand if you left early.

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      05.06.08, 03:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • Do what you want to do, don't ruin the day doing something you don't want. Life's too short!

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      05.06.08, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • go, it may be nice to be around family on a hard day.

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      05.06.08, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • go - it may be helpful in the end for both of you

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      05.06.08, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • i think it might be nice to be with your mom's sisters. if you really don't want to go, i'm sure they will understand. i lost my mom, it's very very hard. i found total comfort in spending time with her best friend

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      05.06.08, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • I would not have said yes to begin with, if you do not want to go, just call and be honest. Say you appreciate the gesture but right now you are having a tough time and would prefer to be home/do something else. Can you get together another time, when i t is not mother's day. Call ASAP and apologize for taking so long to let her know but you had not realized how hard this would be on you until now.

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      05.06.08, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • OP: she called me this morning and I said yes because I thought I would be ok with it and didn't want to upset her. she said they almost didn't do the yearly get togather this year but in the end decided to do it. I should have said I'll think about it she's nice and don't want to insult her/them but I also want to be alone and felt a bit pressured.

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        05.06.08, 03:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • you should call and tell her just that. you appreciate the offer and you don't want to hurt her feelings, but right now it is just too hard for you. and i am so sorry for your loss

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          05.06.08, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • so sorry -- i lost mine too (this will be my 2nd Mother's Day w/o her) - absolutely do what you feel comfortable doing -- it's NOT about your aunt's feelings. she lost a sister, not a mother.

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      05.06.08, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • ^^^that said, don't feel like you have to build the day up as being "extra sad" - I did that, and reminded myself that Mother's Day is no sadder than any other day w/o her.

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        05.06.08, 03:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • you are right. it is just another day really, last weekend was her birthday and I had a hard time with that so maybe I'm still upset from that too. hard to say ...

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          05.06.08, 03:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • thanks, sorry for you as well. you are right it's not the same. My mom esp. had a lot of sib and the ones that are not close to her in age are a bit weird, like a bit too "life goes on -- let's not dwell on things" attitude. I feel devastated still.

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        05.06.08, 03:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • my mom had sisters too, and they're both nuts. i joined a group (Motherless Daughters) and last year we released balloons in Central Park. It was a perfect way to "celebrate" the day. Pretty sure there are groups all over the country.

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          05.06.08, 03:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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