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Newly-single mom... how do I feel ok on my own?
27 replies
- Toddler
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05.05.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag ]
- what doesn't feel ok?
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  05.05.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - I feel lonely, purposeless, desolate, unable to enjoy things, like I don't count as much. Day-to-day actions aren't rewarding. There's no spring in my step. I need validation, but want to to come from within.
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    05.05.08, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - therapy babe, you need it
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      05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - I'm in it. Getting out of an abusive relationship. I just want to know how to get relief/some happiness now.
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        05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        shop?
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        05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        lots of cardio -- seriously it will work.
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        05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Lean on your girlfriends, they will save you until you are ready to date again
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        05.05.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - try to gravitate toward single strong mothers and act like them..fake it till ya feel it
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      05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - sounds like depression to me. try therapy, exercise, meds if you aren't getting better soon. GL.
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      05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- live life on your terms. do exactly what you want to do.
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  05.05.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - ita. and force yourself to voice grateful thoughts to your DCs. as in, "look at this beautiful day. aren't we lucky we get to have ice cream? i'm so happy to come home to you guys!"
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    05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - ^^^seriously, the more you say these things, the more you believe them. create new (positive) message that play in your head
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      05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - So true!! Life is life's terms-- that's the greatest thing that my 12-step program has taught me. :)
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    05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- um, that you will be happy and the envy of all your unhappily married friends
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  05.05.08, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - en-how
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    05.05.08, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - np: easier said than done. have you btdt? i'm going through this now. i can say that once the initial awful is over, you start feeling better and happy to be rid of the dead weight (in my case, a cheating ex).
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    05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - OP: How long has it been for you? I'm still very much in that initial awful phase, but I want glimmers of "Look what I DON'T have to put up with!" Also was w/cheater.
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      05.05.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - it's been almost a year, but i started to feel better without him months ago. i'm still stressed about money and we're still fighting in the divorce (he's trying to screw me over in every possible way), but i don't miss him at all. it took him leav for another woman for me to see how abusive our relationship was. lots of therapy and lots of quality time with friends and family got me to a better place and i'm still healing.
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        05.05.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Been single for a year and trust me, you'll get there. It's SO hard at first. You'll honestly find yourself. Cheesy, but true.
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  05.05.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - This is what I wanted to hear! What did you do with yourself in the meantime? What do you enjoy doing now?
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    05.05.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - I wrote in my journal a lot! I took on hobbies that I liked. Will your kid(s) be with their father ever? I really enjoyed my alone time doing what I wanted to do.
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      05.05.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - Dd will be, every weekend, actually, which has resulted in crippling loneliness. I can see how wonderful it could be though if I felt better.
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        05.05.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        OK, well try and take that time to put the focus back to you. I know how much it hurts in the beginning, I really do.
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        05.05.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - For example, I started knitting, I took up running, I would sit in the park and really think about what I wanted out of life for me and my child.
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        05.05.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        OP: Sounds good. Thanks a million, it's so nice to know that this can be survived. And gracefully.
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        05.05.08, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        There's lot of us out there who made it. It can seem so bleak. But there's light on the other side. Good luck!
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        05.05.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - np from above: think about the things you enjoyed doing before you met your dh and start doing them again.
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      05.05.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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City vs. Suburbs

Moving to the suburbs and suddenly feel sick to my stomach. anyone else btdt and ended up liking it??

Posted June 5, 2008 (50 replies)

Newly-single mom... how do I feel ok on my own?

what doesn't feel ok?

I feel lonely, purposeless, desolate, unable to enjoy things, like I don't count as much. Day-to-day actions aren't rewarding. There's no spring in my step. I need validation, but want to to come from within.

therapy babe, you need it

I'm in it. Getting out of an abusive relationship. I just want to know how to get relief/some happiness now.

shop?

lots of cardio -- seriously it will work.

Lean on your girlfriends, they will save you until you are ready to date again

try to gravitate toward single strong mothers and act like them..fake it till ya feel it

sounds like depression to me. try therapy, exercise, meds if you aren't getting better soon. GL.

live life on your terms. do exactly what you want to do.

ita. and force yourself to voice grateful thoughts to your DCs. as in, "look at this beautiful day. aren't we lucky we get to have ice cream? i'm so happy to come home to you guys!"

^^^seriously, the more you say these things, the more you believe them. create new (positive) message that play in your head

So true!! Life is life's terms-- that's the greatest thing that my 12-step program has taught me. :)

um, that you will be happy and the envy of all your unhappily married friends

en-how

np: easier said than done. have you btdt? i'm going through this now. i can say that once the initial awful is over, you start feeling better and happy to be rid of the dead weight (in my case, a cheating ex).

OP: How long has it been for you? I'm still very much in that initial awful phase, but I want glimmers of "Look what I DON'T have to put up with!" Also was w/cheater.

Been single for a year and trust me, you'll get there. It's SO hard at first. You'll honestly find yourself. Cheesy, but true.

This is what I wanted to hear! What did you do with yourself in the meantime? What do you enjoy doing now?

I wrote in my journal a lot! I took on hobbies that I liked. Will your kid(s) be with their father ever? I really enjoyed my alone time doing what I wanted to do.

Dd will be, every weekend, actually, which has resulted in crippling loneliness. I can see how wonderful it could be though if I felt better.

OK, well try and take that time to put the focus back to you. I know how much it hurts in the beginning, I really do.

For example, I started knitting, I took up running, I would sit in the park and really think about what I wanted out of life for me and my child.

OP: Sounds good. Thanks a million, it's so nice to know that this can be survived. And gracefully.

There's lot of us out there who made it. It can seem so bleak. But there's light on the other side. Good luck!

np from above: think about the things you enjoyed doing before you met your dh and start doing them again.

UrbanBaby Asks...

What are your Thanksgiving travel plans?

Boards Help

City vs. Suburbs