UrbanBaby - Do you think it's selfish to do IVF sinc...

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Do you think it's selfish to do IVF since there are so many kids out there to adopt? I'd like honest answers. TIA
30 replies
- Toddler
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05.02.08, 04:06 PM [ Flag ]
- no-i don't; i've never had a problem getting pregnant, but i certainly feel for those that do
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  05.02.08, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I don't think adoption is as easy as people think.... foster parenting maybe, but adoption is a tough one
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  05.02.08, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no, not selfish but i do wish more people would be open to adoption
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  05.02.08, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no. everyone has the right to have their own child. why should people with fertility problems be expected to adopt? why not fertile people first?
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  05.02.08, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - excellent point.
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    05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - well, if you can get pregnant, then you get pregnant. if you can't, why go to all the trouble to conceive your own biological child when there are so many other kids who need homes? just playing devils advocate here
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      05.02.08, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - because they want a biological chil, just like everyone else
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        05.02.08, 04:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - but then why shdn't every family even if fertile skip the bio route and just adopt to give an existing child a home?
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        05.02.08, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - NP: But "trouble" is subjective. IVF is way too much trouble for me, not for others. Adoiption is a lot of "trouble" too, and don;t forget, for many people it is very different when a kid is not your own blood . You can;t force them to feel differ y
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        05.02.08, 04:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- yes, i do.
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  05.02.08, 04:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no. as someone who has one each, if you can afford ivf and would like, say, the experience of being preg, it's a valid way to go.
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  05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I don't think it is selfish. Some people need IVF to conceive or to conceive healthy children (PGD in the IVF process detects genetic disorders that some may be carriers of...) While I know that there are so many kids out there that need families, IVF is a personal choice and I see nothing wrong with it.
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  05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- No, I don't think it is selfish. Adoption is wonderful if it is something that you truly want and I believe that if you feel like you want to try ivf to have a db that you should do that.
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  05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- No.
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  05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no-- some of us just need more help than others to get pregnant, you have the right to a biological child just like anyone else -- even though it may take a bit more work ( and it is NOT easy to adopt from what I've heard) signed IVF mommy to one DS
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  05.02.08, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - np: it's not as easy as we would all like to believe
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    05.02.08, 04:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- you dont know that much about adoption obviously
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  05.02.08, 04:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - OP: I am making no judgment whatsoever on this. I may do IVF and I've had people say this to me about IVF being wrong.
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    05.02.08, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - have those people who said IVF is wrong had the pain of infertility? Also, you may get pg on your first IVF (I did at 37) so it might not be as long a journey as you may think...
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      05.02.08, 04:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - OP: Of course they know nothing about infertility. That's great that it wasn't so bad for you. I hope it's the same for me.
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        05.02.08, 04:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        see, I would at least give it a couple of tries b/c then you would never regret "not trying", for example, we are now trying for #2, failed cycle in Jan, not upset but know that if I didn't give it a try, I may regret not "trying" a few more cycles e
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        05.02.08, 04:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        ^^and good luck, in Aug 2005 I saw an RE, by end of Oct I was pg, and in July of 2006 had DS, it could be you too!
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        05.02.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        OP: Thanks. Good luck to you too. :-)
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        05.02.08, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        I was a mess when I first found out that IVF would be the only way we could get pg...but get to an RE and you will see things differently and your spirits may be raised a bit. Check out IVFconnections.com
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        05.02.08, 04:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - I'm sure they are the same ppl who say, just relax and it will help you get pregnant. ppl should think before they talk.
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      05.02.08, 04:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Selfish, no. Just too much pain and agony for me to go through. I'm a wimp
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  05.02.08, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- thats ridiculous. why are you singling out IVFers? You could ask if it were selfish for ANYONE to try to have a bio child in that case
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  05.02.08, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no different from, is it selfish to have a bio child at all when you could adopt? do what your heart wants.
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  05.02.08, 04:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I think it's crazy what some people do just to have a biological child, yes. But I wouldn't say selfish, since then you could say having any child at all is selfish.
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  05.02.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- no then it's selfish for anyone to have children
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  05.02.08, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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Posted June 5, 2008 (50 replies)

Do you think it's selfish to do IVF since there are so many kids out there to adopt? I'd like honest answers. TIA

no-i don't; i've never had a problem getting pregnant, but i certainly feel for those that do

I don't think adoption is as easy as people think.... foster parenting maybe, but adoption is a tough one

no, not selfish but i do wish more people would be open to adoption

no. everyone has the right to have their own child. why should people with fertility problems be expected to adopt? why not fertile people first?

excellent point.

well, if you can get pregnant, then you get pregnant. if you can't, why go to all the trouble to conceive your own biological child when there are so many other kids who need homes? just playing devils advocate here

because they want a biological chil, just like everyone else

but then why shdn't every family even if fertile skip the bio route and just adopt to give an existing child a home?

NP: But "trouble" is subjective. IVF is way too much trouble for me, not for others. Adoiption is a lot of "trouble" too, and don;t forget, for many people it is very different when a kid is not your own blood . You can;t force them to feel differ y

yes, i do.

no. as someone who has one each, if you can afford ivf and would like, say, the experience of being preg, it's a valid way to go.

No, I don't think it is selfish. Adoption is wonderful if it is something that you truly want and I believe that if you feel like you want to try ivf to have a db that you should do that.

No.

no-- some of us just need more help than others to get pregnant, you have the right to a biological child just like anyone else -- even though it may take a bit more work ( and it is NOT easy to adopt from what I've heard) signed IVF mommy to one DS

np: it's not as easy as we would all like to believe

you dont know that much about adoption obviously

OP: I am making no judgment whatsoever on this. I may do IVF and I've had people say this to me about IVF being wrong.

have those people who said IVF is wrong had the pain of infertility? Also, you may get pg on your first IVF (I did at 37) so it might not be as long a journey as you may think...

OP: Of course they know nothing about infertility. That's great that it wasn't so bad for you. I hope it's the same for me.

see, I would at least give it a couple of tries b/c then you would never regret "not trying", for example, we are now trying for #2, failed cycle in Jan, not upset but know that if I didn't give it a try, I may regret not "trying" a few more cycles e

^^and good luck, in Aug 2005 I saw an RE, by end of Oct I was pg, and in July of 2006 had DS, it could be you too!

OP: Thanks. Good luck to you too. :-)

I was a mess when I first found out that IVF would be the only way we could get pg...but get to an RE and you will see things differently and your spirits may be raised a bit. Check out IVFconnections.com

I'm sure they are the same ppl who say, just relax and it will help you get pregnant. ppl should think before they talk.

Selfish, no. Just too much pain and agony for me to go through. I'm a wimp

thats ridiculous. why are you singling out IVFers? You could ask if it were selfish for ANYONE to try to have a bio child in that case

no different from, is it selfish to have a bio child at all when you could adopt? do what your heart wants.

I think it's crazy what some people do just to have a biological child, yes. But I wouldn't say selfish, since then you could say having any child at all is selfish.

no then it's selfish for anyone to have children

UrbanBaby Asks...

When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:

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