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  • was this rude? saw an acquataince (who is very pg) she asked me if we were planning on another. I said "we've been trying for a while, but no luck so far" and she said "well, your still young, ds is still young, its not like you need to be in a rush, e's plenty of time to have kids" I don't know why it bothered me. ok- this may be true, but when we had hoped we'd already have #2 by now, not still be tryingto get pg w/#2 and here she is with her pg with her third in four years. It kind of bothered me, i think b/c i feel like she doesn't understand or know what i'm going through. was i wrong to be so bothered?

    28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    05.02.08, 10:16 AM [ Flag ]
    • Sounds reassuring to me....

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • you are crazy

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • not wrong, she thought she was being nice.

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • no reason to let this bother you. She was probably trying to be nice. Don't be so sensetive

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np: have you ever dealt with infertility? i doubt it or you would've posted something more sensitive

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        05.02.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i hear what you are saying i have been in your shoes!...we finally are pregnant after 3 yrs trying ...good luck to you

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • sounds like she was just trying to be nice and you are a little sensitive (rightfully so)

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is a clear example of why we just shouldn't ask people about their plans to have kids. it's ok to be bothered. i am also ttc (though I just started for #2), and find myself annoyed that it seems like everyone is pg but me

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • she sounded positive to me

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i can understand where you are coming from - i think it's rude when people ask what your plans are for expanding your family imho

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      05.02.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You sound a little overly sensative. Are you sure you're not pg?

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think she was trying to say something nice.

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what was she supposed to say? the only thing i find rude about the whole thing is that she asked you in the first place.

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i think she was trying to help

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Honestly, if an "aquaintaince" asked me that, I would have answered, "sure, one day". To dump on her that you've been trying..what is she supposed to say??? I hate when people I'm not that close with burden me with TMI like you did. sorry.

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np: but the other woman ASKED if she was planning on another!

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        05.02.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • she was wrong, too. That's why the OP should have answered in a much more vague way.

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          05.02.08, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • op: i don't think so, we're all pretty open about these things. I mean, I see her at least once a month or so, and we have tons of mutual friends, I don't think its a secret between any of us

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            05.02.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is exactly why i never ask questions like this, i think its rude and intrusive. no matter how benign you may mean it, you never know what someone else is going thru.

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • she was just trying to be diplomatic. What would have been a better answer? I'm not flaming at all. I understand it made you feel a certain way but think about it as it was intended.

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • do you wish she had said something like "Im sorry, that must be really frustrating"?

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      05.02.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You are in pain and sensitve. She was trying to be nice. She's pregnant and has pg brain and probably very much regrets asking you if you were planning on having another. I feel your sadness, but let it go.

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      05.02.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • SHe was trying to be nice and reassuring. And you "feel she doesn't understand...what I'm going through?" Of course not, unless she's had miscarriages too. Why are you pissed at her for not understanding your life?

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      05.02.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • she was a teeny bit intrusive, in a very common and kindly-meant way, when she asked about your plans.... but you opened the door wider when you fessed up to the fact that you've been trying with no luck... she then gave one of several appropriate responses when she tried to give encouragement. Would you have prefered an empathetic "that must be hard"? maybe.... but that would be even more intrusive/intimate than a chipper bit of encouragement, IMO.

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      05.02.08, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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