advertisement
On BNET: 12 ways to be an utter failure at work
Sign up | Log in
new post » see more posts »
  • I am starting to think that my dd is just not that smart. She is a great kid--creative like crazy, artistic, great imagination, social, friendly, easy going, etc. But maybe she's just not that smart. I'm sick of arguing with her to get her homework done every night, getting frustrated b/c she gets bad grades in school. I know she is smart in a certain way--maybe just not "school smart." Is it okay to just admit that?

    29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    04.29.08, 06:36 PM [ Flag ]
    • now that you know... figure out what the problem is

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • yes, and embrace the things she's good at, teacher here.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • there are so many different types of intelligence. Book smarts is a poor predictor of future success and happiness

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Learning isn't just about intellectual aptitude. Executive functioning of the brain and motivation are key factors as well. She may need to develop those along with better organizational skills. These won't kill her creativity, by the way. They'll enhance her ability to conceive ideas and see them through.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        04.29.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • She has ZERO organizational skills. This is something I would really like to help her with, but she's also only 9 so maybe it will get better with age?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          04.29.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • She does not "want" to do her homework or she "has a HARD time" doing it?? Big difference.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • have you gotten her iq tested? my parents said this about me and i tested in the 140's. i still think it was bigoted of them!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Yes. She was tested at 4 w/ the SB (98%) and at 8 with the ERB (also 98%). Again, I know she is smart but just struggles in school AND also seems to really not be interested in school. Loves friends, playing, etc. but has no interest in learning math or r spelling words!

        [ Reply | Options ]
        04.29.08, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Maybe her teacher sucks!! or maybe the school is too rigid/traditional. It could be the school's fault

          [ Reply | Options ]
          04.29.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Yes. But it's even better to use your understanding of who she is to help her find creative ways of learning what she's being taught in school. (For example, I'm a musician and I find it much easier to do math if I sing the problems to myself as I wo them out.)

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • that's the smartest thing you can do and a blessing really- it will put less pressure on her and you can work on her strengths like her creativity- she just might surprise you - many extremely successful people don't go to ivy league schools you know.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think you need to develop a new, non combattive strategy to getting the homework done and then just support and love your dd for whomever she is.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I absolutely support and love her for whatever or whoever she becomes. 10000%. But it's still hard to see her constantly not understand or whatever. Just makes it hard. At 9 y.o you are not appreciated in school for being great at designing your own clot clothes.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        04.29.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • This is true but I still think you should talk to friends or ask her or read a book on how to get through school/homework without a fight every single night. It will hurt your dd in school and it will hurt your relationship with her if you just fight and fight, you know? My mom and dad (I have no idea how) got my learning-disabled brother through school and he even went to college. Hated it, but did it. I think finding a way to approach learning and homework peacefully is essential for you and your dd.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          04.29.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Thanks. I'm trying. I think she does not see the point to it AT ALL. She has no interest in lying down at reading. She would much rather play a game, make up a puppet show, design an outfit for a doll, etc. It's almost like torture to have to sit and do more work after having to sit and do work all day long. She doesn't see the point at all. I'm hoping it will get easier with time. We try to make it as nice as possible, but sometimes I feel like I am practically giving her every answer b/c she just doesn't GET IT and then it just seems useless.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            04.29.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Maybe sit down with her teacher(s) and explain what is going on and ask their perspective? and/or make a one time appointment with an experienced tutor and ask for tips? I am sure it is frustrating. I've got toddlers and haven't gotten to homework yet a I'm dreading it. So, not speaking from my own experience but I know from watching my brother that it only gets harder and more complicated as school continues. Good luck.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              04.29.08, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • We've done both. Had her evaluated and everything. Can't afford a tutor. Teachers are not so helpful with the homework--she has to do it. End of story.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                04.29.08, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what grade is she in?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • sounds like aspergers those kids always do well. no matter what!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It's her learning style, not that she's not smart. She may need to draw first, then do homework, or be taught the material in a different way: tactile, verbal, etc. it's best to read about what HER style is and then tailor how u handle homework to that There are many books on the nature of your child.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      04.29.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Any to recommend? Maybe I'll go to the bookstore and see what I can find tomorrow. Thanks. It's really not that I don't think she's smart. I'm just frustrated. But I do think that maybe she's just not an academic kind of kid for now. I know that cha and great if it does, great if it doesn't--whatever.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        04.29.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
advertisement
advertisement
Click Here

Boards Help

Abbreviations
More Boards Help

Site Feedback Thank you for your feedback about the new site. We are paying close attention to your comments and we will incorporate them as we make improvements to the site. Please continue to report problems and offer feedback on the Site Feedback Board and visit our Site Talk blog for answers to some of your questions and updates on specific issues.