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  • Talk me down, ladies. Have been with DH for ten years but the endless rollercoaster drama of him being happy with his job/unhappy has just worn me down. I kind of can't take it anymore. I don't want to be supportive anymore. He works insane hours and ha never learned to give me a simple answer when it comes to him coming home so I get bitterer and bitterer. I'm starting to think I should leave him.

    15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    04.25.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag ]

    • ^I should add that I work full-time, too.

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      04.25.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • after ten years you should know that this isn't going to change, you've obviously accepted it for this long, why is it different now?

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      04.25.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • OP: I'm just worn out. I really am. He's just like his father--thinks it's okay to work all hours. I guess I would be okay with this if he would be happy, but he's never happy.

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        04.25.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • itd. after 10 yrs that shit wears you down.np

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        04.25.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • right, but if you've been dealing with it for ten years why didn't you get divorced five years ago? it doesn't take ten years to figure out a lifestyle is stresing you out

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          04.25.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • OP: well, 5 years ago we had no kids. Now we have 2 under 4 years old.

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            04.25.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • God, you ppl and your you should've known shit pisses me off. if you're going to tell me you knew everything and have all the answers all the time, you're just a liar

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            04.25.08, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • sit down and have a serious talk with him.

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      04.25.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • you should go to counseling to figure out how to communicate about this. DH and I were having similar problems for the last 4-5 years, have been seeing someone for a few months and it has really helped. A few days ago, when I told him how much better I fe lt, he said "Yeah, me too. I can see now that I wasn't paying attention to your needs and you were living bitterly." Never thought I'd hear it.

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      04.25.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

      • OP: that's great. But I don't know if I or he can change the big sucking maw of ambition he has--he will probably never be happy.

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        04.25.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

        • well, maybe, but it also sounds like you two are having trouble discussing it, which would be a start. Maybe he's working to shut out something else, etc, or maybe cannot see how it affects you.

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          04.25.08, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

          • np: it sounds as tho maybe the underlying issue is he is selfish or a bit narcissistic? his work mood and schedule take over the family dynamic? the specific hr he gets home each night is maybe not the real problem.

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            04.25.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • when your line in the sand is crossed, you'll be ready. if you haven't drawn the line, draw it now for the both of you so he knows where you stand. once its crossed, you'll have the strength to leave...

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      04.25.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • therapy

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      04.25.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

    • tell him, not us. we can't change anything, but he can. and he won't unless he knows how you feel.

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      04.25.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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