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  • My ds will be 4 iin June and refuses to poop on the potty. He has been night trained and pee trained for almost a year and will not poop. I have tried EVERYTHING to get him to go on the toilet but he won't. Any advice?

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    04.21.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag ]
    • btdt, just wait it out. If you push him to do it, he'll start holding it and they you'll have a huge problem.

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      04.21.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I am going to get flamed, but have you bribed him with toys? What about taking toys away if he won't?

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      04.21.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is your issue. seems like you PTed wrong, made it a control issue. You need to make it matter of fact. he NEEDS to go in the toilet. If he goes in his underwear or in his bed at night, he needs to clean it up. NOT YOU. after a few nights and days of that (he has to wash himself and his clothing too) he won't want to do it anymore.

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      04.21.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • sick and cruel

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        04.21.08, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • if you don't want your 4yo to shit his pants and you don't want PT him at a norma age, don't complain...you made the issue.

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          04.21.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: but you're making assumptions based on no information.

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            04.21.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i didn't assume anything. Apparently she didn't do it right the first. time. but thats over, doesn't matter now. now she needs to get her 4yo to use the toilet. To do that he needs a little responsibility in the matter, not mommy to clean it all up and pretend it didn't happen. Wh yare you parents so afraid of giving your kids responsibility?

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              04.21.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • omg - there is no "right" - some kids walk later too - does that mean the parent did something wrong - you musy have nothing else going on in your life other than having a kid who can crap on the potty - yay you !!

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                04.21.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • walking is done on a childs own, potty training is taught. If you NEVER teach them, they never will. you need to introduce it. you are comparing apples and oranges. there is a normal range of PTing and there is waiting too late...Op waited too late.

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                  04.21.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • np here. the info is that there is a 4 yr. old who is not potty trained. what else do you need? do you know people would think he is retarded if he is in other country?

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              04.21.08, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • hmmm, sounds like a controlling approach...

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        04.21.08, 07:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • or- no its not at all! The mother doesn't have to get angry or upset. it is matter of fact (just like cleaning up your toys mess) you make a mess you clean it. He isn't 2yo, he is 4! He can clean his own mess, or he can go on the potty like a normal 4 y

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          04.21.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np. seriously, it is called natural conswquences.

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            04.21.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • potty training is not discipline - that kid will have major issues from that approach

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              04.21.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • or- are you joking? Making him clean up his mess is not DISCIPLINE!!! IT is everyday life! Is it discipline if he has to clean his toys? No, it is just the rules! Just like him having to clean his bathroom mess. Not discipline, just what needs to happen. Stop making it worse than it is.

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                04.21.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • it is not discipline, it is natrual consequences. it got dirty, he has to wash it. period. you are what is wrong with the whole thing, he did not. he is a kid.

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                04.21.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I disagree that it is "obvious" the op pted wrong- lots of kids get "stuck" about pooping. While I see the natural consequence you are suggesting, its is an approach based on discipline or negative consequence and could lead to a power struggle

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            04.21.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • or- then apparently you don't get it. it isn't discipline. If your dc plays with toys, he has to clean them up, right?Why is this difference. it isn't discipline, it is just the way things are! Bottom line.

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              04.21.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I absolutely AGREE! pre-k teacher here and I have seen this too many times! Basically, it's a control and attention getter, it's manipulation at it's best

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        04.21.08, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • oo: he will poop in his pants and refuse to clean it up

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          04.21.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: Who is running your house?

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            04.21.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • op: how can I "make" him do anything?

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              04.21.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np- are you joking?

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                04.21.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np. if he does not want to clean it up then he has to wear poopy pants until he cleans it up, since you dont have any clean ones on hand.

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                04.21.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • op; HE DOES NOT CARE! really! he will sit in poop for days

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                  04.21.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • or- so in other words, you issue is not that he isn't PTed, it is that he has listening issues and walks all over you! Which is the sole reason he is having a bathroom issue. you are a pushover and he knows it.

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                    04.21.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • how long did he sit in it. be calm, just matter of fact. i am sorry, at 4, you are the problem and he is not. you need to deal with this.

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                    04.21.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • or- are you the mother? so then he sits in it. sucks for him!

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            04.21.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • wow - harsh

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              04.21.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • op- how is this harsh? If he doesn't want to sit in it, he will clean it. How is that harsh? He has many options! Go on the potty, clean up the mess, or sit in it. He is making the choices, not you. how is this cruel? You in no way are angry at him for h s accident, but you are not happy or helping either. You are the reaosn this child is not PTed, it is about him taking advantage of you!

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                04.21.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • ita, do you have kids?

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              04.21.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • or- 4. all PTed at 18mos. no regression, and no other issues because i was so "horribly mean " to them.

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                04.21.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • np. seriously, what is wrong with peaple now a days? afraid of potty training because somehow it would damage them. come on, get some sense.

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                  04.21.08, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • they are afraid their children will be 17 one day and tell them they hate them! My kids are as of yet perfectly fine with having rules and routines, not damaged or unhappy at all! They will learn that when dcs are 17, they are going to hate you no matter how much ass kissing they did from birth to then..

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                    04.21.08, 07:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • glad ou are not my kid's teacher

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          04.21.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • don't listen to this crap op - pun intended

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        04.21.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • or- why is it crap? Does your 4yo not have to clean up his toys? His dirty dishes? Why not have to clean up the mess he made in his bed? Trust me, he won't want to do it for more than a couple days...he will go on the potty.

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          04.21.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ds is 3.5 and would be incapable of cleaning himself - he can barely get a clean pull up off - you really can't compare a bodily function to toys - you are going to end up with a chronically constipated kid - some kids are easier no matter what the pare t does - it's easy for you to blame the parent when you know nothing about the child

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            04.21.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • np: Of course it will not be a neat job and you will need to clean up after him, The purpose is to put the responsibility in the child's hands. He is responsible for his body and doing on the potty--if he doesn't, he has to clean it up.

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              04.21.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • who said he needs to be spotless? And guess what he isn't 3, he is 4. big difference (i know, i have 4 kids and PTed them all !) He needs to learn consequences for his actions. This isn't punishing, this is just what happens when he makes a mess. he can andle doing an okay job cleaning himself, changing his clothing, and putting whatever needs to be washed in the washer then drying. it isn't the end of the world. stop treating your children like morons.

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              04.21.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • i kinda like this idea - make em clean up after themselves

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        04.21.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I went through this w/ my dd. Told her on the last pkg of pullups, "this is it..." and then when we got down to the last 5 I counted them down. She went 2 days without going and then finally went on the potty and it was never an issue again. I truly believe she would have gone to college still pooping in a pullup if I hadn't pulled the plug, so to speak.

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      04.21.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Is he scared? My ds just couldn't relax to poop on the potty. This is what finally worked for us. We bought him a Leapster game that he could only play while sitting on the toilet. We waited until he was showing signs that he had to go, sat him on th toilet and let him play the game. The game distracted him enough that he relaxed and pooped without realizing it. We made a big deal about it, etc. Once he had a few successes of going, it was fine!

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      04.21.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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