UrbanBaby - Was talking with an old friend today. W...

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Was talking with an old friend today. We're about the same age, but he doens't have kids. I feel like I have changed so much, and he's in a time warp.
24 replies
- New York City
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04.16.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag ]
- Is his not having kids the only thing that makes you feel that way or are there other reasons?
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  04.16.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - I think that having kids changed my view on a lot of things. He seems kind of immature to me now. But then...he is male.
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    04.16.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - Maybe you seem frumpy and matronly to him. Surely there are things about him that are different than before?
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      04.16.08, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - it's possible that he does think that. And of course, I am more conservative in a personal manner.
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        04.16.08, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- so just because you pop one out you are better than him
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  04.16.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - it's not good vs. bad, it's that I have a radically different POV now
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    04.16.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - Probably a narrower one.
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      04.16.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - I don't think so.
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        04.16.08, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Obviously, but a parent focuses on a child. Someone without children can focus on anything.
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        04.16.08, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        You're just being smug and defending it.
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        04.16.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Just the opposite. I (and every other poster) think you're being smug and silly.
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        04.16.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        huh? I was calling the OP Smug. Why am I, the responder, silly?
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        04.16.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Well for one, you can't follow an outline. I'm not OP. I'm disagreeing with her.
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        04.16.08, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        op: how am I being smug? It was just an observation--this was someone I looked forward to talking with, but it's totally a failure to connect.
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        04.16.08, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        op: I just feel like having dcs has changed the way I view a lot of behaviors.
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        04.16.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Let me guess...your kids are under 5yo.
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        04.16.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        no, they aren't.
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        04.16.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- He was talking about what you had in common, which necessarily is the past. People without children grow just as much as people with children.
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  04.16.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I hate it when people w/ kids assume that people w/o kids are missing out on life and haven't grown
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  04.16.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - I didn't assume anything. We were talking, and I realized that the conversation was weird because of this.
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    04.16.08, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - How, exactly, is he in a time warp? I know plenty of males (my relatives) who still yearn for high school or college even though they are married w/ kids.
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      04.16.08, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - hard for me to explain--but he is doing all the same things he did 15 years ago, thinking about the same stuff.
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        04.16.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        And what are you doing, contemplating world peace on a daily basis? He's living the life of someone not responsible for others on a daily basis so he's doing things that people w/o kids do...go out, eat, have drinks etc. You would, too.
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        04.16.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        Of course I'm not sitting around thinking about world peace all day. My world view has just shifted completely.
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        04.16.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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Posted October 3, 2007(37 replies)

Was talking with an old friend today. We're about the same age, but he doens't have kids. I feel like I have changed so much, and he's in a time warp.

Is his not having kids the only thing that makes you feel that way or are there other reasons?

I think that having kids changed my view on a lot of things. He seems kind of immature to me now. But then...he is male.

Maybe you seem frumpy and matronly to him. Surely there are things about him that are different than before?

it's possible that he does think that. And of course, I am more conservative in a personal manner.

so just because you pop one out you are better than him

it's not good vs. bad, it's that I have a radically different POV now

Probably a narrower one.

I don't think so.

Obviously, but a parent focuses on a child. Someone without children can focus on anything.

You're just being smug and defending it.

Just the opposite. I (and every other poster) think you're being smug and silly.

huh? I was calling the OP Smug. Why am I, the responder, silly?

Well for one, you can't follow an outline. I'm not OP. I'm disagreeing with her.

op: how am I being smug? It was just an observation--this was someone I looked forward to talking with, but it's totally a failure to connect.

op: I just feel like having dcs has changed the way I view a lot of behaviors.

Let me guess...your kids are under 5yo.

no, they aren't.

He was talking about what you had in common, which necessarily is the past. People without children grow just as much as people with children.

I hate it when people w/ kids assume that people w/o kids are missing out on life and haven't grown

I didn't assume anything. We were talking, and I realized that the conversation was weird because of this.

How, exactly, is he in a time warp? I know plenty of males (my relatives) who still yearn for high school or college even though they are married w/ kids.

hard for me to explain--but he is doing all the same things he did 15 years ago, thinking about the same stuff.

And what are you doing, contemplating world peace on a daily basis? He's living the life of someone not responsible for others on a daily basis so he's doing things that people w/o kids do...go out, eat, have drinks etc. You would, too.

Of course I'm not sitting around thinking about world peace all day. My world view has just shifted completely.

UrbanBaby Asks...

When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:

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