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I'm Reform and my ex didn't object. I'm more just trying to make this ok spiritually. I'm irritatedt hat I have to bear the cost and be the one to do this, my new husband does not. how do I feel ok about that? i'm resentful.
[ Reply | Options ]Understandable feelings. I'm sorry that you have to endure this sort of thing. I wish you luck with everything.
[ Reply | Options ]i know this isn't a feminist religion. i think what bugs me is that most Reform women don't even bother. i wouldn't have known if I hadn't been taking a little renewal class, and now I'm like "crap, this ancient ritual is going to bother me till I take care of it." it feels -- it doesn't feel mystical, it feels superstitious. that's what is bugging me.
[ Reply | Options ]No offense, but it IS superstitious. IMO, the only reason to obtain a get is if you believe that not getting one will somehow make your next marriage less valid in the eyes of God or your community. For a Reform or even Conservative Jew, the get is usually skipped b/c the community doesn't adhere to the underlying reasons for it. Does your new husband care, one way or the other? Maybe the solution is to come to terms with it, yourself?
[ Reply | Options ]My new husband doesn't care. My rabbi does. He says it would make things easier on our kids if they wanted to live in Israel and/or if they wanted to go deeper into the religion.
[ Reply | Options ]Ack. Tough situation, but still one that you have the power to control. If the get doesn't mean much to YOU & to your DH, I think your kids will be fine. No one in Israel is going to ask your children "Did your mother get a get before she remarried? No? Then you're not a real Jew." It'll never happen.
[ Reply | Options ]
UrbanBaby Asks...
When I ride in a taxi cab with my DC I:
- Use a carseat
- Buckle him/her in his/her own seat
- Hold him/her on my lap
- I'd never ride in a taxi with my DC, it's much too dangerous!
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