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am friends with a mom who's dd is ds's best friend. They're now 5. They'll ask to meet at the playground, yet her dd will abandon ds to go collect rocks and things in the park. ds is annoyed and wants to play with her and will "collect" with her for a while, but then gets bored and asks her to go on the slide, etc. She refuses. I feel stuck - it's supposed to be a playdate with a friend, yet her mom really doesn't push the issue at all with her. Is there anything I can say (gently) to get the message across that we came so the dc can be together and not for ds to be by himself? Thanks.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]this is so screwed up. you want to be with your friend, fine. but you can't force the kids to paly together.
[ Reply | Options ]OP - No, our dc are best friends; the mom and I just became friends, because of this. And ds is clearly lonely and wants to be with her, but she's not joining in. And then he asks me and I tell him to go ask her and she says "no". So then he's frustrated and upset. Which is not why we're at the playground.
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But if the girl likes to collect rocks at the park you or ds can't force her to play. Either they have to play together indoors, or ds has to work something out with her, like collect rocks for a while, then play on the swings a while--that's life.
[ Reply | Options ]Op - Yes, I agree. The point is that she doesn't want to cooperate and then after he collects rocks with her, go on the swings with him. It's sort of all her rules, which isn't fair to ds. I'd be happier if her mom addressed this with her more, but she doesn't. She gets frustrated, but says nothing to her at the time. And if we have to stop meeting at the playground, I"m not sure what to tell the mom, when we clearly meet others there too.
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He's learning that others needs and feelings are different from his own. Stay out of it and let him experience a little disappointment.
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