UrbanBaby - flame away, but i find it strange when p...

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flame away, but i find it strange when people say they aren't having more than one kid because they "can't handle it" - i get not wanting more. that's fine to me. but can't handle it? means you're making it all way too hard.
33 replies
- Toddler
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04.15.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag ]
- ITA.
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  04.15.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- Well I waited 6 yrs. to have #2 because I knew I couldn't handle two little kids...
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  04.15.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - ditto..5yrs
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    04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- that's probably true and probably does explain why I am not having a 3rd. plenty of people manage it just fine.
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  04.15.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- That's a pretty simple way of looking at it.
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  04.15.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- people have different levels of what they area willing to do. maybe their lifestyle can't handle another child
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  04.15.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - again, then that's fine (op here) and say that. but "i can't handle it" and "my first is running me to ragged" etc... I find those answers/respondes are strange.
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    04.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - np: you are so judgmental
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      04.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - every child is not an easy one. be glad you are blessed and have strenght to handle what you do have.
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      04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - np: i'm sure the folks who are saying it find you strange too
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      04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - Would you really rather hear the bald truth from people? Like, my dh is an alcoholic who can't keep a job and I'm solely responsible?
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      04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- well my can't handle it (though I have not used those words) is b/c I am single and don't have the $. I'm not making it too hard. You try being the sole caretaker and provider 24/7 and needing to work too
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  04.15.08, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - again, different. this was a post earlier by someone who feels her child just runs around too much. oy. i think that poster sounds a bit fragile to me, and i find it strange.
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    04.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - np: your post didn't mention some previous post -- people are responding to what you wrote, not the other stuff in your head when you wrote it.
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      04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - sounds like OP is just changing her tune because she realizes what an idiot she sounds like
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        04.15.08, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - someones got a soapbox.
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    04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- this is my sil.
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  04.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- DH and I have a low threshold for being overwhelmed. I seriously can't believe people had kids in the days before childproofing, video monitors and everything else. Flame away. 2 kids is all we can handle.
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  04.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- I had bad ppd that hospitalized me. Could I get through it again? Maybe. Would it be a good thing to risk it? Probably not.
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  04.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - again, TOTALLY different.
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    04.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - Well if you ask me why I would say I don't think I can handle it. So maybe you need to broaden your mind about what that means.
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      04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - this was a post where the op was saying that her #1 just runs around a lot and is hard to keep up with. again, if you don't want to have more than one kid, FINE. but this just sounded so pathetic and wimpy to me.
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        04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        ugh is all I have to say to you
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        04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        
        THAT was a post where the op was saying her #1 just runs a lot. THIS is a post where you make a blanket statement that you can't understand people who say they can't handle it.
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        04.15.08, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - Ditto. My situation exactly, except I have 2 (bad PPD was with #2). And "I can't handle another" is exactly what I would say.
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    04.15.08, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- what is so hard to understand? having a child is not easy, for some people it is more than they expected.
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  04.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- i cant handle pg. such a pita
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  04.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- What is your situation? You have family in the area? A sn child? Financial problems? get a clue.
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  04.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  - i have a clue.
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    04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    - no, doesn't sound like you do.
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      04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      - np:ita , it is so easy to judge when you having been in other people's shoes
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        04.15.08, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- sometimes things are too hard not because people are "making it all too hard" by doing silly unnecessary work, but because the circumstances of their lives actually require those efforts. Also, people have different energy levels, skill sets, etc. Not e everyone can handle things exactly like you... and not everyone's life presents the same level of challenges as yours. Surely that's not too hard to imagine?
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  04.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
- sorry,but knowing what's within your means, financially or emotionally is smart.
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  04.15.08, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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Posted June 5, 2008 (50 replies)

flame away, but i find it strange when people say they aren't having more than one kid because they "can't handle it" - i get not wanting more. that's fine to me. but can't handle it? means you're making it all way too hard.

ITA.

Well I waited 6 yrs. to have #2 because I knew I couldn't handle two little kids...

ditto..5yrs

that's probably true and probably does explain why I am not having a 3rd. plenty of people manage it just fine.

That's a pretty simple way of looking at it.

people have different levels of what they area willing to do. maybe their lifestyle can't handle another child

again, then that's fine (op here) and say that. but "i can't handle it" and "my first is running me to ragged" etc... I find those answers/respondes are strange.

np: you are so judgmental

every child is not an easy one. be glad you are blessed and have strenght to handle what you do have.

np: i'm sure the folks who are saying it find you strange too

Would you really rather hear the bald truth from people? Like, my dh is an alcoholic who can't keep a job and I'm solely responsible?

well my can't handle it (though I have not used those words) is b/c I am single and don't have the $. I'm not making it too hard. You try being the sole caretaker and provider 24/7 and needing to work too

again, different. this was a post earlier by someone who feels her child just runs around too much. oy. i think that poster sounds a bit fragile to me, and i find it strange.

np: your post didn't mention some previous post -- people are responding to what you wrote, not the other stuff in your head when you wrote it.

sounds like OP is just changing her tune because she realizes what an idiot she sounds like

someones got a soapbox.

this is my sil.

DH and I have a low threshold for being overwhelmed. I seriously can't believe people had kids in the days before childproofing, video monitors and everything else. Flame away. 2 kids is all we can handle.

I had bad ppd that hospitalized me. Could I get through it again? Maybe. Would it be a good thing to risk it? Probably not.

again, TOTALLY different.

Well if you ask me why I would say I don't think I can handle it. So maybe you need to broaden your mind about what that means.

this was a post where the op was saying that her #1 just runs around a lot and is hard to keep up with. again, if you don't want to have more than one kid, FINE. but this just sounded so pathetic and wimpy to me.

ugh is all I have to say to you

THAT was a post where the op was saying her #1 just runs a lot. THIS is a post where you make a blanket statement that you can't understand people who say they can't handle it.

Ditto. My situation exactly, except I have 2 (bad PPD was with #2). And "I can't handle another" is exactly what I would say.

what is so hard to understand? having a child is not easy, for some people it is more than they expected.

i cant handle pg. such a pita

What is your situation? You have family in the area? A sn child? Financial problems? get a clue.

i have a clue.

no, doesn't sound like you do.

np:ita , it is so easy to judge when you having been in other people's shoes

sorry,but knowing what's within your means, financially or emotionally is smart.

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