[-]which of these are true for your child? Eating the evening meal as a family five or more nights a week, getting more than 10.5 hours of sleep per night, and watching less than two hours of TV, video or DVDs a day.
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i keep reading about people who are underwater on their mortgages and/or not paying mortgage payments. why don't the banks start getting proactive and offering incentives instead of crying about the masses who aren't up to date on their mortgages?
[ Reply | Options ]we should have let the banks fail & the markets resolve themselves organically & gradually
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people who are underwater in their cars are absolutely ridiculous and deserve to have their cars taken away. people who take out a car loan that's in the 3-5 year range are ridiculous too. who wants to be in debt on a depreciating asset for 5 years?!? it's astounding!
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[-]MIL question. We live about 4 hrs from MIL who keeps asking us to come visit. We have 4 dc, 2 still very young and 2 old enough to be involved in multiple school and sports activites on weekends. Both dh and I work FT, she is retired and still very active, travels to Florida in winter and the beach in summer. We have not seen her in 6 months because she says we live too far away, but she could take the train, and her trips all all farther than us. Should we make the dc give up their weekend team sports and go for a visit?
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My MIL lives 1 1/2 hrs from us and she and FIL take train in all the time for dr visits and to visit dc who have no children. Never comes to us. Feels a narcisstic need for us to go to her b/c of "respect" which should be shown to grandparents. We suck it up and go, for the kids.
[ Reply | Options ]Buy her a train ticket as a gift and send it with a card from the children saying "we can't wait to see you!", then call to schedule the visit.
[ Reply | Options ]OP again: One of the issues for us is that she does not like the dc to play in her house, always wants them outside. Difficult in the winter. Or, wants a plan of what we intend to do (out of the house) with them during the day. Very particular about "the mess" and she has a lot of breakables. Once, dh paid for a steam cleaner to come in after a visit. Overall, much less stressful if she comes here. Also, we can only go for 48 hrs, she can come and stay for the week- gets to see some of dc activities.
[ Reply | Options ]I'd say 2 visits a year to her place is enough. If she wants to see you, then she can come to you. You have 4 kids! It's not the sports, its the logistics of it - she's one person, you're many!
[ Reply | Options ]You are us! But we have only 2 DC, and 2 hour trip, and MIL believes we should visit her, not the other way around. It drives me nuts! Two hours in the car for four people, 6 in your case. I TOTALLY disagree with the posters who say you should visit.
[ Reply | Options ]OP again: For years, before we had dc we would make drive because MIL and extended family (all live in same area) had very young dc, because it was just too difficult for them to make the trip. Now that we are in their shoes, no one seems to care about the difficulty of the trip for us.
[ Reply | Options ]Then you need to express very clearly to her/them that it is simply too difficult logistically to make the trip (ever, more that 1x per year, whatever you decide). HAVE YOUR HUSBAND DO THIS-- they already love him; you are not their blood relation and you don't want them taking it out on you.
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[-]Based on Mathcounts Manhattan competition this weekend (for middle schoolers), 3 schools qualified for the NY state-level competition: Hunter, NEST+m and Trinity (no other tt school did). So much for the UB lore that, at Trinity, just the HS is any good, and only the influx of bright kids in 9th grade saves Trinity from mediocrity.
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Nationwide interschool math competition. This was the Manhattan version, therefore involving NYC privates and publics. See here for details about Mathcounts: https://mathcounts.org/Page.aspx?pid=296
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I think it's kind of funny that in another math competition, the NYCIML, Dalton and St Ann's are in the category of "regular schools" (along with Francis Lewis, Cardozo and Bayside), as opposed to the "specialized schools" of Stuy, Hunter, Bronx Science, Brooklyn Tech and HSMSE CCNY.
[ Reply | Options ]I see your link to general info, but where's the specific link to the results showing Hunter, NEST, and Trinity? Can you post that as well and was it for 2009?
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know about this weekend's results being anywhere - maybe the OP attended personally. But here's a link to last year's results: http://mathm.org/competition/
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Mathcounts is probably the most prestigious academic competition in the country (though not nearly as famous as the spelling bee or even the geography bee). If you follow the results over the years, you'll notice that Hunter is far and away the best in Manhattan, and it's not even close. (Not surprising since they steal most of the brightest public kids.) Fwiw, 3rd is probably the best Trinity has ever done. Dalton is traditionally the strongest of the privates. The most notable schools that don't usually compete in Manhattan Mathcounts are probably Anderson, Collegiate, and Shuang Wen, but I don't know who was there this year. Finally, coaching does matter, but Hunter's coach is still listed on the school's website.
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[-]Chess in kindergarten and onwards - which schools offer it?
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Geneva School of Manhattan. But you need to be comfortable with the religious aspect of the school.
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Which school does not offer chess at least as afterschool activity? I would never want it to be part of the curriculum.
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I just don't see any value in chess. Let's stay with the essentials: English, math, science, humanities, gym.
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I was a doubter at first, too, but I've come to really see the benefits of chess in the curriculum, especially since I see that the afterschool classes are usually 80+% boys and in class instruction is the only instruction that many girls get. I've seen such a change in my dd since learning chess, esp. re thinking ahead and spatial relations. Here is a better summary (page 9 of this link) http://74.125.113.132/search?q=cache:_OPdy0bBvQcJ:www.psmcd.net/otherfiles/BenefitsOfChessInEdScreen2.pdf+advantages+of+chess&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
[ Reply | Options ]LInk: http://74.125.113.132/search?q=cache:_OPdy0bBvQcJ:www.psmcd.net/otherfiles/BenefitsOfChessInEdScreen2.pdf+advantages+of+chess&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
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Isn't it pretty much universal these days? I'm really curious what's behind the chess craze. Probably same reason they're all offering "strings" -- parents think it builds bigger brains! Of course, ds is in both chess and strings, so I'm not criticizing, just acknowledging that I'm part of the herd.
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[-]Heard a rumor that at GS and other banks most of the i-bankers had their base salaries raised a lot (like 2-4x) in order to pay out what will look like a lower amount in bonuses in 2010. This tactic is to avoid the scrutiny on the bonus figures. Are Americans really so dumb that we will fall for that? Lower a bonus but increase a base salary because nobody asks about those??? Oh and that only makes the system WORSE as base is guaranteed and not discretionary. Pls tell me I only heard a rumor and it's not true.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]why do you care? If you want to make more money, give up your life and become a banker. they deserve every dollar they get. and no, niether I nor dh are bankers.
[ Reply | Options ]Why do I care? I don't know. Because my tax dollars had to bail them out last year and now they are building even more expense into a fragile system. That's why.
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, it sounds as if THEIR tax dollars bailed them out, and your tax dollars didn't contribute too much. On the less snide side, investment bankers had nothing to do with the real estate collapse. It was the you and I's who thought we could afford Jumo mortgages, becasue that's what it takes to buy a large enough house. And when we lost our jobs we realized that was stupid. Investment Bankers weren't underwriting those deals, you and I were. Stop the finger-pointing and move on.
[ Reply | Options ]np: i agree that it wasn't I-bankers, but you can't absolve the scummy lenders and the bankers who were securitizing these bad loans and the credit agencies who failed us and let's not forget the federal reserve who allowed so much cheap money into the system for so long
[ Reply | Options ]OP: fair enough. Too bad the other poster above you had to inject a snide and inaccurate btw comment. Otherwise she made good points. But there were traders involved and compensated for packaging these things up and selling them to clients. they were rewarded for that while others lost and ultimately had to bail THEM out.
[ Reply | Options ]Who are you absolving? You just can't point fingers on this one. Even our most brilliant economists have no true idea of whhat happened. If you want to go to the very heart of it, blame the individuals who took out the loans. I was one of them. It was my fault. I knew it was a whopper, but I am used to "charging it". WSJ had a great editorial how years ago, the only people who got loans were the ones who didn't need them. That just ballooned out of control. But it's starting up again. Just watch.
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[-]Are there any non-religious private schools on long island that we should consider besides Friends Academy? Anyone have any experiences with Friends Academy? TIA!
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[-]Is it common for Jewish people to not vaccinate for religious reasons?
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[-]My grandfather passed away yesterday. I hadn't taken my 4mo son to meet him yet and am now really regretting it. Just venting, thanks.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]so sorry to hear that. My grandmother died 10 days before my first baby was born. It's hard, but I hope you'll find some comfort in memories of him.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks. I do have great memories of him just feel like my priorities are a bit mixed up that I couldn't even travel to see him. I spoke to him the day before he passed so am happy about that. So sorry about the timing of your grandmother's passing. It is hard.
[ Reply | Options ]I am sorry for your loss. Write down your priorities. Since my mother has passed, I have prioritized DOING, so that I try to say yes to every invitation. Been on on some crazy trips, and become quite silly. Your not visiting made me think of this, since saying no to a visit feels easier with kids. His memory shouldn't end with his death. Join Geni.com and put up every photo of him you can, every memory, while its still fresh for your db. Visit his grave with db. They don't find this macabre at all. Good luck!
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i'm so sorry. it might be nice to start a little journal for you to put down your memories of him. it'll help your children get a good feel for him when they are old enough to read it.
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[-]Does your elementary aged child have a "drop everything and read" period every day? Ds says that he's not allowed to read another book b/c he hasn't finished book reports for some he already read. Not second guessing the value of book reports, but i thought the point of the program was to encourage a love of reading. If it's tied to a laborious exercise (which in my ds' case it is), then it loses its purpose. Not planning to say anything (it's not my classroom), just curious what you all think.
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[-]I hate this waiting game :-( Feb 19th / 20th seems so far away
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[-]Applying to a charter school that basically takes kids in by lottery. My 2nd option (public school) is not very attractive. The school has over 50% of kids from projects and I am worried about discipline. I was thinking of writing a first choice letter to the charter school, even though i realize it may be a useless exercise. What do you write in FC letter? Thanks for help.
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[-]Which Taxes would you raise, and which government programs would you end to balance the budget?
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They didn't pay in to support Medicare costs like are now associated with the program. The average senior is getting thousands to tens of thousands of dollars in insurance premiums on top of their SS check.
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no, she's saying the rich ones lose the benefit, and the poor ones keep the benefit. It's not a perfect solution, but if everyone's so upset about the deficit, we're going to have to think of some LARGE ideas to solve it, which means A. tax hikes and B. benefit cuts.
[ Reply | Options ]Yeah..ok..the day this government gets enough balls to take away from the haves what they provide to have nots, I'll see pigs flying by my window..Politicians will not write themselves out of benefits, even if they do not need them.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: I'm not saying that anyone loses anything. Just that if you are a senior citizen with significant disposable income, it is not unreasonable to ask you to help pay for your Medicare insurance. My grandmother traveled frequently until she was over 100 years old and left an 8 figure estate but the working poor paid for her health insurance for over 40 years. That is obscene.
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as to programs, i would put an end to unnecessary wars which take up much of our budget. i would try to make a tax structure that was more transparent (flat and vat)
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No salary cut-off on social security tax. Not sure if it would solve the problem completely but would certainly help. No reason that less affluent should pay larger percentage of their overall salary.
[ Reply | Options ]take all those people off welfare and stop paying for illegal's children education and health benefits
[ Reply | Options ]Ending welfare would save a lot of money. I think it would NOT save money to try to round up and send away illegal immigrants though, relative to the amount it costs to "educate" them.
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not OR, but probably WIC, food stamps, federal unemployment extenders, earned income tax credit, Pell Grants, federal housing, medicaid
[ Reply | Options ]welfare that generations of women get when they have multiple babies and refuse to work, welfare that healthy men get because they are somehow managing to screw the system claiming medical or mental disability, welfare that the new immigrant gets when they enter the country legally, but feel they could earn more if they went to school full time instead of working and earning their way...welfare that children get when their parents claim that the children are mentally incapable, whereas these kids are perfectly fine and attend regular schools until some of them get caught...welfare that people get when they own businesses, houses and cars in someone else's name so they can collect benefits...do you require more?
[ Reply | Options ]but what is the name of the program? There's no government benefit called "welfare"
[ Reply | Options ]oh, but it's so much easier to just slam people and call it all "welfare" than actually look at any complexities, gray areas, etc.! OR--for the most part you're talking about fraud, not about the programs themselves. I'm assuming that you don't really want to take away disability benefits for some single mom whose kid is on a ventilator?
[ Reply | Options ]of course not, but those are few and far in between. i would like to take it away from the kfc mom whoes butt is wider than the bus and who breeds a child a year just to keep the benefits coming.
[ Reply | Options ]Let me guess, you just went to see the movie Precious? Sweetie, that was a movie. There is very little basis in fact for MOST people receiving what you know as "welfare" these days. Most people on "welfare" are actually the working poor-they do have jobs but the jobs make so little that they qualify for cash assistance to supplement their income to a poverty level or food stamps or childcare benefits. One can be receiving food stamps yet not be receiving cash assistance. ALL people receiving cash assistance have a lifetime limit of 60 months(5 years). This is nationwide and has been in place since the early 1990s. Once they reach that limit they can recieve no more funds ever. They are not given any extra money for children born 10 months a...
[ Reply | Options ]- after they are on welfare. The highest amount of cash assistance given tops out at around $1,500 and that is if you have over TEN dependents, even if you have more you will not get more. You try raising 10 kids on 1500 a month...in an urban area? Most recipients of cash assistance have only 3 children and recieve about $400 a month. YES $400 a month. Supplemental housing is hard to find and the waiting lists are 9-10 years long so these people are often paying fair market value for rent and other basic necessities. They make it by sharing living space or living in in horrific housing conditions. The mother will still be expected to work in order to keep recieving any benefits. Some of the money that she earns goes toward paying back the b...
[ Reply | Options ]-- benefits she recieved back (about 10-30%). She of course pays taxes on her income. "Welfare" benefits can also be cut if the children do not go to school, if they are not immunized, and for a host of other reasons (including if the father is in the home which would explain the lower incidence of marriage in lower income homes-healthy men on welfare is not the norm-they barely want married couples to recieve welfare[hence the fathers who leave] let alone a single healthy man). When I say benefits-I mean all, many people on welfare no longer recieve cash but need food stamps or medical insurance or child care benefits in order to survive. The programs that allowed many people recieving benefits to finish school have often been cut at the s...
[ Reply | Options ]--state level nationwide. This means that people, often women without GEDs, are stuck in low wage jobs. The school programs helped recipients recieve a GED and thereby limit the cycle of poverty. The welfare queen stereotypes are not based in truth, certainly not for the last 25 years! However this is a myth that has become cemented in the public consciousness thanks to a mixture of racial and class bias.
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well, then i guess they are all getting paid from the blue magic fairy...i do not know what the current politically correct tems for the money they give these freeloading leeches, but sure enough there are plenty...in my time it was called "welfare" and "medicaid" and "disability", however, trust me there is a bunch of abuse in the system and most of these people are just sucking it dry under whatever name
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Worried about losing your nanny? Love the way you would end welfare but you don't want those illegal immigrants rounded up. After all, who would clean your home/take care of your kid then? The reason why America is still able to count itself among the affluent nations of the west(however we're losing ground all the time) is because it has some type of social service programs to care for its citizenry. We're still behind the times in comparison to most other western nations. Besides welfare only accounts for LESS than 1% of the government's spending. Let's talk about our extravagant defense fund (because the wealthy men who run our nation love to play war games) and leave our class biases out of it.
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I would eliminate the Department of Education, the Department of Energy and cut military spending by 50%. No new weapons programs for 15 years or so
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I had a professor who advised Carter on creating the Department of Education. (Dept of Health and Human Services & Dept of Education used to be Department of Health, Education and Welfare.) He told Pres. Carter it was a bad idea and why. Carter then (his story went) said, "Thanks, I could not agree more. But I told the teacher's unions I would do it so..."
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Eliminate the home mortgage deduction. Distorts consumption patterns for no good reason
[ Reply | Options ]np: Did you know that if you added up all government spending for low income housing (Fed+State+local) from the beginning of the New Deal to today -- it would equal less than the loss of income for one year from the home mortgage deduction? (Yet people still bemoan the welfare state for the working poor.)
[ Reply | Options ]now calculate the income loss on having a county go bankrupt from completely collapsing the economy.
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because this is what will take place if your suggestion is implemented but much worse then now and with no hope for recovery in our lifetime. it could have been implemented before the bubble when rent/own balance was in place.
[ Reply | Options ]np again: I made no suggestion at all. I merely pointed out that while housing "welfare" for the working poor is an easy topic to rally the thickbrowed and get them to beat their chests, the truth is it is a tiny fraction of the cost to the government of a middle class housing program "everyone" agrees ought not be touched.
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raise/create taxes for offshore labor. companies should not be rewarded for outsourcing by avoiding FICA match, health care benefits, 401K match etc...
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get rid of welfare institute universal basic income, tax the piss out of gov contract awards (basically charge companies like haliburton, grumman, monsanto for the privilege of doing business with fed) and multinationals doing biz here
[ Reply | Options ]Off topic but not really... The number one thing I would do if I were king of the US of A is enforce property rights. I don't care if it is handbags or software. I would cover it all. Our greatest competitive advantage in the coming generation is our innovation. That our creditors routinely steal our property is absurd!
[ Reply | Options ]ITTA. I think all copyrights should be enforced not just USA once. It should not be ok to sell Italian or German designer's knockoffs made in China in the USA. This hurts US businesses because these knockoffs directly compete with USA products that are priced competitively to the EU items.
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excellent question. i think i'd make changes to welfare, unemployment and other income-based programs. i'd demand some sort of public service if you are collecting funds. i'd also do some increased trading taxes. corporations that buy or sell over x number of shares get a per share tax.
[ Reply | Options ]What taxes would I RAISE? Seriously, we already give over almost half of our income. I'm all for cutting unnecessary programs in the hopes that our taxes could be somewhat reasonable.
[ Reply | Options ]I'd slash Medicaid and Medicare. I'd make everyone pay some amount of taxes - right now 40% don't pay taxes or get a rebate from credits. When everyone has to pay something, all of a sudden there will be much more concern about fraud and waste.
[ Reply | Options ]That's stupid. The primary people on both forms of government sponsored insurance are people, specifically older people, on fixed incomes. Older/disabled people on fixed incomes are already expected to contribute a great deal to their medical care via hefty medicare premiums and co-pays. The people who commit heavy duty fraud are often sham medical supply companies that are prevalent in certain areas of the country like FL. Often the people that these supply companies bill medicare for don't even know the companies exist-the companies merely buy the ss#. The thieves would care little about taxation since they're operating under the radar anyway so you would end up penalizing the very people who are least able to pay while keeping it busines...
[ Reply | Options ]Your 40% is factually incorrect. There are a lot of taxes that people pay other than just income tax. As a matter of fact, when you look at the lower life expectancy of the poor and the huge disproportionate amount they contribute to Social Security (as a % of income) -- then SS starts to look like wealth reallocation (especially from black men to the rest of the population.)
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Raise tax on carried interest, capital gains, dividends. Raise payroll tax...no cutoff on wages. Raise income tax on high earners. Raise the AMT!!!
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[-]Does anyone know where on the UES (Manhattan) can I buy those little valentine's cards for dc to give to his classmates?
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[-]Nursery Furniture: what brand did you buy/how much did you spend on DC crib, dresser, armoire, etc? TIA
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]IKEA crib, $89. elfa from the container store for closet, $200. old dresser from family, free. fancy crib bumper was originally $400 got it for $40 on sale. It looks great. HHI this year was over 1mil. YEAH BABY! I did buy a bugaboo (mostly with gift cards). thanks for letting me brag.
[ Reply | Options ]Bought the crib and a dresser (which also acted as changing table) used. Splurged on top of the line, new glider and ottamon, got the rug on sale. Recently bought a bunch of pull out drawers from Ikea. Got a crib bumper/sheet set on ebay for a fraction of the cost. Bugaboo we bought used, and that's the only thing I regret, kinda. It broke after 9 months and I had no recourse. But now I'm due with number 2, so I need a two seater anyway.
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Bellini crib was about $900, i think. changing table is a pad on top of existing dresser, serena and lily custom crib bedding was about $500+, glider and ottoman by dutalier at buy buy baby, i don't remember the cost. everything was a gift from my parents. everything has worked well and is being used by 2nd baby now.
[ Reply | Options ]Used crib that friend had given us from Bellini for for DC's since older moved to bed before arrival of #2. Bought them both "big boy" furniture sets so we didn't have to do it again later, headboard, dresser, one night stand each. One got a large bookcase the other a stand up dresser (since his closet is smaller). Spent about $2000 each, but don't need to replace as they get older should take them through their teens. Also got the Bugaboo which I love but wish it were easier to break down, and not in two pieces. HHI over 1mil as well.
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