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[+] help me out -- I had a discussion with someone (who doesn't have dcs) who said she ca... 28 replies
- I truly think it's similar to sex rather than plastic surgery - an innate desire, rather than a superficial/convenient act....
Talk : : November 20, 2009
help me out -- I had a discussion with someone (who doesn't have dcs) who said she can foresee a time when women would choose voluntary surrogacy (paying someone else to have their db) instead of carrying a db themselves. That it's another change to how technology becomes a part of our lives and how we try to control/preserve our bodies in different ways. I just don't think efficiency would ever outweigh wanting to be pregnant, if you can do it (for most people -- of course, there are exceptions). What do you think?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 03:39 PM [ Flag ]see, logically, I understood why she would see it that way. but after having been pregnant, i can't imagine anyone suggesting that efficiency/preserving your body could possibly be considered a parallel choice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
as someone who had a difficult time getting PG, it was very important for me to feel the pregnancy myself and to go through that experience at least once in my life. Maybe it will become more common for some but it may still remain a natural desire for many.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do not think it would ever become routine. Yes, a very small group of women would choose this out of need or desire. But most women take pleasure in pregnancy on some level and it is a biological urge similar to sex.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's what I feel, too -- there is a sense of pleasure, and almost a primal desire. But she suggested, couldn't the idea of what's pleasurable change? How do we know it's pleasurable before having gone through it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I truly think it's similar to sex rather than plastic surgery - an innate desire, rather than a superficial/convenient act.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's what I was telling her -- that it's hard to understand until you are on the threshold of being able to be pregnant. Why do we want it? Because of what others are telling you? Because of how we've been raised? Because it's primal/innate? I don't know, but it's powerful, and ITA with you -- I can't imagine efficiency/beauty/convenience is what would dominate.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
eros
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well I really hated being pregnant the first time. I am pregnant again now, and it is much easier. I can't see ever paying somebody else to carry my child, but that first pregnancy did give me some insight into why women might choose that option!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've been pregnant twice and hated both pregnancies. There was no part of it that I enjoyed. I would definitely be one of those women who would pay someone to be my surrogate. Pregnancy is an amazing experience for some and torture to others. I don't think this would be mainstream, but could be a good alternative for some people.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]But would you have done it BEFORE getting pregnant? In other words, you know now that you had a horrible experience (after having gone through it). How would you make the decision before knowing you personally had it bad?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Honestly, I would have gone the surro route even before I got pregnant. Always wanted kids but hated having no control over my body for 12 months (pregnancy + recovery). I would have to know that the surro method would ensure a healthy environment for my baby.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]interesting! And you would feel like you could trust a surrogate to be a healthier environment than your own body?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I always dreamed that there would be a machine that would simulate a womb and I would pay to rent it and come visit to "see" the baby. I know it sounds silly.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np- but you are the anomaly, most women love pregnancy first time. Only the ones with body problems would not want to get pregnant. Second time is a different matter
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wonder if there is a constituency of professional women who would want to do it this way too--less downtime.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]nope- only women with ED's. Try to cover how you will, most women will try pregnancy once
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I also don't like being pregnant and I've had no complications with both of my pregnancies. I just don't like it and don't even get me started on giving birth. Having said that I can't imagine using a surrogate.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i'm with you OR. two awful pregnancies. i suppose I would have tried it the first time, but definitely not the second (even though that one was slightly more bearable). if i could do this i may consider a third, but never want to be pregnant again. if the surrogate could be my husband than i'm first to sign up!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I agree and feel the same way about woman who chose c-sections instead of regular birth when their is no medical need for one. Some woman said that they wanted it because they wanted their baby born on a certain day or b/c they didn't want to stretch out 'down there.' There is too much stock in vanity today despite the fact that woman have been having babies naturally since the world began. I don't like woman who seem proud of c-sections b/c of artificial reasons or concerns about themselves. Of course if there is a REAL medical reason than okay but 75% of the people I know that have ever had one had either vanity or a scheduling conflict that resulted in them wanting a c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I disagree that elective c-sections are along the slippery slope to on-demand surrogacy. C-sections, even when elected for what you consider trivial reasons, do not involve using another woman, who often has much less money and many fewer options, to gestate your baby. I hated hated hated being pregnant, but would never choose the emotional complications surrogacy evolves. A scheduled c-section, on the other hand, was absolutely what was best for my baby and me. And stretching out 'down there' had nothing to do with my decision.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I'm glad to read that other women don't like being pregnant. I always hear such glowing stories of pregnancy. I not a fan, but I kind of felt alone in that opinion.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how old are you? All my friends and I were 35+ when pregnant; children dearly wanted. Very few -- even the yoga divas-- pretended that pregnancy wasn't ten months of nausea, swelling, and flatulence. I thought uncomfortable pregnancies might be a symptom of 'advanced maternal age', but my mother told me all her pregnancies, starting at age 24, were similar. So maybe my circle of friends are more honest/complaining than many . . . .
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm 35 and pregnant. Was 30 with 1st pregnancy. I know women my same age and they seem to like it. Honestly I didn't have difficult pregnancies, but still don't seem to like or love it like some people I know. I like knowing I'm going to have a baby and I'm very thankful for my kids. But that glowing wonderful I love every moment of this look that some people have I just can't relate to.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I had two C-sections for medical reasons. The first was after waiting 20 days past due date, being induced, 48 hours of labor then haveing a c-section and giving birth to a 10 lb baby. I'm 5;3" and 110 lbs. Damage was irreversible of carrying such a large child so late. My story is not that uncommon, and I wish could have opted for an elective C-section the week before due date because I knew it would go like that. I'm guessing you had relatively easy births so
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow -- I'm surprised your OB didn't suggest a c-section, given your size and the baby's size. . .
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually I did not. My birth was not easy. I did have a small baby but was 3 days late and after 9 hours of labor had only gotten to 2 cm. Not only that but my baby was only 6 pounds and I had a 4th degree tear that required 4 sets of stitches inside and out. I was in pain for days and unable to walk or get in and out of bed by myself. However, I would do it all over again and plan to have the next one vaginally too. Don't you read the responses carefully b/c I stated "of course if there is a REAL medical reason that is okay" I am not taking about people who actually have reasons I am talking specifically about people who do it for vanity or selfish reasons, this does not apply to every person who has ever had one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think there is a lot of research yet to be done on the impact of the mother (or surrogate) on the fetus' development. I don't think a baby's personality is solely genetics, i think it must be affected to some extent by maternal behaviors as well. Since I am a control freak, I would want the baby in me so I would have full assurance that the baby was in a good environment at all times. But i have thought a LOT about surrogacy...i want 2 kids close in age, and it would be much nicer if i had 10 months to recuperate with my hubby and child, rather than getting immediately preg again. the only other thing stopping me is trying to explain to my MIL why she couldn't come to the hospital...i know...but if she didn't know, and i completely trusted the surrogate, i might do it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have you ever met some parents, and thought hope my dc never becomes friends with the... 17 replies
- Boy - she said "Oh - my daughter only knows girls". Sheesh. Who says that? I mean it doesn't matter what sex your dc is, he/she should be able to recognize that there is an addition to their class....
- That could have been me. I think she's just apologizing for not knowing who you are because her dd doesn't ever talk about kids of the opposite sex, and maybe you just didn't register at that moment. I've done that and then felt REALLY badly afterwards because it was...
Talk : : November 20, 2009
Have you ever met some parents, and thought hope my dc never becomes friends with their kids? I've met quite a few and think it's sad that I came to the conclusion within minutes of meeting them ... some people are just plain WEIRD
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag ]Sometimes those kids are the sweetest things you ever met, but I do agree some parents are a real turn off
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this year ds and I have been on the same page. all the kids he has mentioned liking seem to have parents that I like. I guess the apples are not falling far from the trees.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: Pretty much most of dc's friends are just great. Most of them have parents I get along with; but some others clearly have psych problems. I met this one mom after a playdate, and she didn't even say hi. The kids is just a darling.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, that's not "weird" that's crazy. Bid diff. I thought you were talking about artsy-fartsy types, which is cool with me. If someone's spaced out/rude/scary, that's a different story.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK - so the CRAZY people - I mean these people are so out there that crazy is not the word to describe them. For example, I went to a party a few weeks ago, and all the host mom could talk about was that she went to Cornell, and her experience at Cornell. Who gives a hoot?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ I thougt she had some serious psych issues
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
BTDT, ds is in 5th grade- the wierdos just might grow on you. Be nice to everyone, you never know who your friends, or your kids friends will be.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita - not even to 5th yet, but I have come to really like and become friends with some of those who have weird written all over them. I also like dc to see that its okay to be quirky.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op: I'm sorry I didnt mean to refer to the quirky lot - I meant those people who think they are better than you. I actually find the artsy crowd to be very down-to earth
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
honey, i prefer the WEIRD. it's the uptight ones that scare the heck out of me. consider this - you probably have friends who have different ideologies than their parents. i know i have friends like that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i wonder if we have the same or different definitions of wierd. do you mean artsy? do you mean hippies? someone who acts like they are high as a kite?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: certainly weird can describe many things, but i prefer all 3 options you presented to stuck-up, dull, or overbearing
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: I was definitely referring to the idiots who think they are too high and mighty .. you know those stuffy folk, who are trust fund babies, and have no idea that there are millions of other people in the orld who haven't had that experience
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There is so far only one mom who I do not care for in my dc's class. Our children play together often at school. My thought is to kill her with kindness. I don't want to be her friend, but she does not have to know that, especially if our children get along well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think so about a particular mom whose dc is friends with ds. Each time I see her, I ask when the next playdate is ... she never wants anyone over
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So we're new to the school this year, and one mom asked me who I was - I told her I was ds' mom. She said Girl or boy? I said Boy - she said "Oh - my daughter only knows girls". Sheesh. Who says that? I mean it doesn't matter what sex your dc is, he/she should be able to recognize that there is an addition to their class.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That could have been me. I think she's just apologizing for not knowing who you are because her dd doesn't ever talk about kids of the opposite sex, and maybe you just didn't register at that moment. I've done that and then felt REALLY badly afterwards because it was at dropoff and I wasn't caffeinated....
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] This morning I had a really bizarre sex dream involving DH's friend. All four of us ... 11 replies
Talk : : November 19, 2009
This morning I had a really bizarre sex dream involving DH's friend. All four of us (DH and I, his friend & wife) were at some water slide resort. His friend and I were sitting on towels near the pool, talking. He kept touching me and then we had crazy/amazing sex. Really good dream, but I woke up feeling terribly guilty. His wife is a good friend of mine and I love my DH. Tonight, all 4 of us were supposed to meet for dinner & a movie. His wife and my DH had to cancel last minute, though they still wanted us to go out, which we did. The whole time, all I could think of was fucking him. Argh! What is wrong with me?!?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag ]Maybe it was a mass hallucination and your husband and his wife are interested in seeing it to fruition.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? They still wanted you two to have dinner? Weird.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We are all REALLY good friends. She has been wanting to get us to try this restaurant and DH wanted us to see the film since I don't get out much anymore.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - I agree, that is weird. I don't care how close or how good the friendship is, I would NEVER go for this....
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That sounds hot!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's very strange; as if one of them was trying to push you together. i could never imagine going out with the dh of a friend if both dh and friend cancelled. maybe somebody's been sending out subliminal signals and that's why you're having these dreams.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So she gets free reign to start something with him?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, definitely not!! but i find it so strange that the other parties seem to be pushing them together.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They like spending time together?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Obviously, your DH and his DW had their own rendezvous!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]FAKE POST
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Name Poll: Blake? 3 replies
- For a girl or a boy? I don't like it for either sex, for this reason...
Talk : : November 19, 2009
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For a girl or a boy? I don't like it for either sex, for this reason...but call me old fashioned if you want.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]For a boy
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]boy
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I think having a daughter has changed me. Mostly, for the better! I am more aware o... 2 replies
- me very worried, esp living in NYC. I hope I am a good example, and I was a good kid growing up, but I see girls on the bus/subway and listening to what they say freaks me out - girls that seem so young talking about sex, drugs, etc. I guess it is the same worries for boys and girls, but with a girl I really worry what the next 20 yrs will be like!...
Talk : : November 19, 2009
I think having a daughter has changed me. Mostly, for the better! I am more aware of my own behavior, relationships, lifestyles, as I want to be a role model for her. I know I won't always get it perfectly. I just look around and see that the world isn't always that kind to girls or include the positive influences for them. Does anyone else feel this way?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag ]Having a dd has me very worried, esp living in NYC. I hope I am a good example, and I was a good kid growing up, but I see girls on the bus/subway and listening to what they say freaks me out - girls that seem so young talking about sex, drugs, etc. I guess it is the same worries for boys and girls, but with a girl I really worry what the next 20 yrs will be like!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Absolutely. I have a dd as well and worry about the pressure society ,puts on being always beautiful and perfect. I wonder about stuff like this all the time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] do interracial couples get divorced? 76 replies
- Never. Ever. The sex is always so hot....
Talk : : November 19, 2009
do interracial couples get divorced?
76 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag ]no, never.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not even sure that it is legal for them to do so. I know there is a Supreme Court case that held they have a right to get married, but it didn't discuss divorce. Hmm.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have to research the case law in this... hmmm...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No need to research. Take my word for it -- it is odd, but true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i didn't ask can they, but do they. i don't think so. i think their unions are stronger and thus last forever.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: are you serious? you realize that they are human, right? and what about all of the interracial couples that never get married, but have a kid and then break up? what about their unions?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]in the latter, they are not married so not part of my question.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i just don't understand. do you really think the act of marriage transforms the union of interracial couples but not couples belonging to the same race?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She apparently think those of us in interracial marriages are "special," like having your own water fountain was special or something.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol, i think she is trying to be supportive in a strange, patronizing, insulting kind of way!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wait I thought she was kidding?! Oy
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
As half of a deliriously happy married interracial couple, I say: WTF??
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you know any interracial previously married couples that divorced?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i do. there goes your theory!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: you realize this is a statistics thing, right? the number of interracial couples you know is probably way smaller than the number of same-race couples you know. so even if they have the same rate of divorce, you will know many fewer divorced interracial couples.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know two couples that divorced, and one of them were interracial. God you'e so weird... and patronizing... and a little racist.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm trying to picture who OP is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Rush's illegitimate cousin?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Same person who rushed up to me at a political event and said -- in a hushed voice -- "Did your parents accept [DH]"? I'm Chinese and DH is WASP.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
racist against whom? how can you say that?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: when you assume something of people, based on their race, it is racist. even when the stereotype is positive, it is racist. they are people, they are not defined by their race. interracial couples are human, with human flaws, just like any other sort of couple!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]never mind. and for your information i am in an interracial relationship
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Like saying blacks are good entertainers and athletes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Because it assumes that interracial couples are "special" somehow. Like they're not like any other couple. Just because it's not a negative per se, doesn't mean it's not racist, since you're still making judgements and assumptions based on race.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's not based on race, it's more based on circumstance or situation.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The situation based on race, yes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think OP's question is idiotic but the people responding that it's racist to make assumptions of people based on just their race: how do you feel about affirmative action? Same assumption principles, isn't it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm one of the posters (in an interracial marriage) who called the post racist. Yes, I feel that affirmative action is racist, too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you. That is awesome that you are so consistent. Few are.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And what makes their union stronger?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think because of what they will face they consider marriage much more closely and have a stronger bond.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]"What they will face"??? Come on, DH and I laugh at the minor things that do occasionally happen. Are you in the Deep South or something?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or live in the 50s?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think that's crap. I don't think interracial couples consider marriage more closely or have a stronger bond. My friend's divorce just became final. She was in an interracial marriage. I am too, my marriage is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Umm - my BIL and former SIL were an interracial couple, and they got divorced.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, left quite a pickle.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what about same-sex interracial couples, though? an even bigger conundrum.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I thought there was jurisprudence on them not being allowed to have children?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Never. Ever. The sex is always so hot.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is why I have a mistress of another race. Has done wonders for my marriage.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]one of those hot Puerto Rican girls? Like Rosie Perez?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Gloria Estefan!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]puerto rican is not a race.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ah, yes. The fog of academic fatuity begins to roll in.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]nice turn of phrase
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thx.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
race is not a biologically valid construct anyway. so why can't puerto rican be a race?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]the same reason pencil or postit or tall is not a race. because that is not how we define race.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well somebody defines puerto rican as a race, so why not?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]somebody who? I thought Puerto Rico was a steak!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
according to a judge in louisiana, almost every time
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]the responses to this post are hilarious. OP why in the world did you ask such dumb question?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]in all seriousness, the rate of divorce for interracial couples is actually lower than for couples of the same race.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ I'm in an interracial marriage, and I know that for us and for other couples I know, one thing that happens is that when you're dating because you're interrcial you just communicate on a different level and you take your relationship more seriously because you have to deal with some external and internal stuff that others don't necessarily have to deal with.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]many couples who are not in a biracial relationship take those relationships seriously.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, but all things being equal, interracial couples are pretty forced to
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ pretty much forced to.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you seriously believe this? OK, I'm in an interracial marriage for the last 13 years and I can honestly say before we got married we didn't have any conversations about it. We just saw each other for who we are. It wasn't any big discussion with our families either. They both could care less what race we are, as long as we're happy. Now this might how something to do with the fact that both my husband and I had dated people of many different races before we got married so race was no thing to us.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok well that's your experience but I assure you it's not the experience of most.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I assure you it is. Another interracial gal here, together 12 years. Never talked about it. We love each other for who we are.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Yet ANOTHER interracial wife of 7 yrs. Have never had to explicitly talk about it, and our respective families couldn't care less either. This ain't Georgia circa 1954.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You don't sound like you're in an interracial relationship at all. I think you're just trying to stir the pot. A rare consensus on UB! The only poster who seems to think it makes a difference is you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what internal stuff would you have to deal with? A person is a person. Why would you have to communicate on a different level?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're nuts
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Please, post a link to the evidence.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I knew it!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What a bizarre question. We are an interracial couple and we fight like nobody's business.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]"like nobody's business" I haven't heard that expression since my grandfather died.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]:)
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My friend in the product of an interracial couple and her husband is %100 AA. Even though she is not that smart they seem to have a good family life. They do live in east Harlem though and he wants to move to Jersey!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You win the award for nonsensical answer to nonsensical post.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It was an inside joke on a public forum. This entire thread is the most ridiculous one that has ever been on here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And that's really saying something. Although, I have to say, every time I see mass censensus on UB I assume FAKE.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'll bite. I am not in an inter-racial marriage perse, but in an inter-cultural marriage. I think for those that date and marry outside of their and their family's comfort zones, you have to really love the person to deal with all the surrounding noise. My wife was told that our marriage would never last because we aren't the same religion, and both my mother and grandmother flat out told me I shouldn't marry my wife. We are now in our 6th year of marriage with 2 lovely children
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We are in our mid-30s and many of our friends/family/acquaintances are getting divorced. I guess the point is that a lot of people who marry others from very similar backgrounds may be doing so just to please family or take the easy road. Dating someone of another ethnicity/background/race takes a lot of guts, and marrying them even more so.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I have no time to workout (full-time WOHM with 1 DS). I walk about 3 miles a day but ... 20 replies
- Sex? ;)...
Talk : : November 19, 2009
I have no time to workout (full-time WOHM with 1 DS). I walk about 3 miles a day but nothing more. Any suggestions? I feel gross.
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 12:16 PM [ Flag ]walk briskly when you do and really eat carefully. no dessert for you, missy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I knew you were going to say no dessert. Okay....err....
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Walking 3 miles a day is pretty impressive IMHO
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. I think it's good but wish I had time to do some weight resistance work. I feel so squishy since the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Join the club woman. I tried to do some situps today and was interrupted by the kids. I guess now is not the time. I did get to run though so I chose at least one thing! Sometimes DC "stretches" with me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
or: i find four or five hershey's kisses or a few hard candies are a pretty good substitute. and when db is older and you have more time to yourself, you can get back to working out and dessert!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My solution was to find a workout I could do at home. I do it after everyone goes to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]which is what?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sex? ;)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Any type of workout DVD will do. Depends on the amount of space you have. If you are walking, then you could choose something that's strength training or yoga or pilates.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The only workout time that I've found since having kids is the 5:45 gym class. I go to bed at about 9/9:30 so I can wake up early enough to work out. Sorry...I know it doesn't sound appealing, especially if you don't have a good sleeper!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DS is a really good sleeper but I leave the house at 6 AM and don't get home until 6 PM every night. Then I feel like I'm running around trying to get dinner done, night routine for DS before I pass out. Maybe I can try doing it after he goes to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are there any stairs you could walk up and down instead of taking elevator at work/home? Also, you could try free weights, stretches and sit-ups at home while watching TV (if you have any time to watch TV).
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]im with ya mama! mine is 8 months. almost back down to pre preg weight, but so much 'looser' then before. all extra time i have once db is in bed, spent with hubby or cleaning up. i jus keep it at 'one day at a time'.... some good days, some i eat too much dessert! but hubby isnt complaining so must be ok!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I workout during lunch 3 days a week. I don't take time for lunch otherwise - just eat at my desk. SO, I take an hour and workout. Otherwise - I would never do anything.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is when I have been walking my 3 miles. I think I can probably hit the gym really hard for an hour and make better use of my time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
how do you have time to walk 3 miles a day?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]During lunch but might take advice and start going to gym instead.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm also full time wohm and the only time I can go is at 5:30 a.m. It's rough getting up, but worth it when I get there.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Get up at 5 am, or before everyone rises. Believe, I have no help and my two DC's are tiny. I need every bit of energy, so I find that I have had to do this. After 2 weeks, you become so used it! Its great time to yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What do you think of the name Jaxon, Jax as nickname? 24 replies
- My DH asked me about this combo last night. He had met a little boy at work (he's a photographer and had a kid photoshoot) with the name and liked it (thought it was unique). I'm pregnant now (#2 for us) but we don't know the sex so we're making a list of names. I didn't think "white trash" or trailer park but it is good to get a bunch of knee-jerk reactions here....
Talk : : November 19, 2009
What do you think of the name Jaxon, Jax as nickname?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag ]Our favorite horse is named Jaxx. I don't like it for people - prefer Jack.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Like the name Jackson but think Jaxon is trying too hard. Your DS will forever be correcting people on the proper spelling of his name.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. Why do that to your kid?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I like Jax. Why not just use that as his name. Jaxon seems pretty silly, like you ate trying too hard.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you live in a trailer park or is it just that you can not spell?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yuck, sounds really white trash to me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it'll look great under his mug shot when he gets busted for meth.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you are going to do that, spell it properly or DS will go through life correcting people. And you may be the only other person on this board who watches Sons of Anarchy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Honestly, and not to be mean to you, it's stupid. And Jax are nasty cheese puffs.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Horrible.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]UNLESS- it is a family name, esp. last. But then & only then.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'd vote for Jackon and then Jax as the nn.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Agree.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it's just a misspelled version of Jackson. Why do that?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are 2 Jaxons who go by Jax in dd preschool class.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ajax
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP here: Wow, what a reaction. I appreciate the feedback. My DH asked me about this combo last night. He had met a little boy at work (he's a photographer and had a kid photoshoot) with the name and liked it (thought it was unique). I'm pregnant now (#2 for us) but we don't know the sex so we're making a list of names. I didn't think "white trash" or trailer park but it is good to get a bunch of knee-jerk reactions here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]black kid's mom trying to be 'different'
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It makes me think of Ajax, as in the cleaning chemical. I think it goes under "Wal-Mart" names...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was wondering whether you could name a kid Ajax, as in the Trojan war hero, but no, I think even that conjures up a blue cleaning powder...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
AWFUL
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't like it. Just use Jackson. I should add it's just my petpeev when people try to give "special" spellings to regular names.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yuck
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Isn't that a snack food?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have to get this out! I've been married 15 years. Husband had a two year affair tha... 10 replies
- have a very faithful, kind husband that I am tempted to leave every month, and you need to know what to do about yours? Social network? Who cares. Get rid of him, for your DD's sake. She shouldn't think that's what women are worth..oral sex?? oy....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Have to get this out! I've been married 15 years. Husband had a two year affair that began when I was pregnant 6 years ago (he took a "business trip" with the girl when my DD was 3 weeks old). I found out when DD was one. At the time I was living in another city (because of his career) I hadn't been able to continue my career in that city and I didn't have a social network in that city. He was contrite about the affair but always implied it was my fault (because I wasn't nice enough to him and didn't give him oral sex in the weeks after my daughter was born) he says he should have handled "it" (meaning me) better. We have moved back to Ny and I now have some of my life back (friends in close proximity but my career was destroyed because of a 10 year "break"). I have come to see what a truely abusive person he is (passive agressive, blaming, turning me into a monster). I realize how the entire relationship has always been about his emotions and NEVER mine. I am over it and ready to end it. This is my problem: I cannot fathum why I should now have to turn into a part-time mother to my DD5.5. Alternating holidays? Letting him take her on vacation in the summer? Whole weekends away? Oh, and the girl he was involved with for those two years was completely crazy (threatened me and my daughter) so who knows who he will have DD around. I can't stand this marriage and the stress is starting to affect my health but I am very worried about my daughter and how divorce will affect her. Husband is actually good with her and she is very attached. I do not want to cut him out of her life and I will jump through hoops to make sure that she sees him as many days as possible. I just can't stand the idea of not being with her on holidays and on vacation. The idea that I should have to give her up like this seems absurd. Any thoughts? Be kind :)
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag ]So sorry for your mess. You need to move on and make a new life for yourself and your dd. You will come to peace with the shared parenting. You are entitled to happiness. It's time to start a new life! GL!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmm. I have a very faithful, kind husband that I am tempted to leave every month, and you need to know what to do about yours? Social network? Who cares. Get rid of him, for your DD's sake. She shouldn't think that's what women are worth..oral sex?? oy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just read the 2nd half o fpost.. was hidden. Can't yu get a reallly, really good lawyer? I just don't see how a father can get every other weekend, if they are only doing 1/5th the work before the divorce. And 2, could you daughter e so attached bc you clung to him so? Maybe you have taught her his is an honorable character. Worth breaking that spell quickly. I'm sorry you were with such a jerk, and I udnerstand wanting the best for DD. I think a strong single mom would be agood lesson roe model for her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Basic visitation for fathers is every other weekend, one evening a week and alternating holidays. Unless they have a police record, tro for violence or doing drugs, this is what a judge will give as a minimum.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just think that this is a terrible situation for a child...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just went through a divorce with worse than yours. My ex is retired on multi-millions. Through his manipulation tactics, my visitation has dwindled over three years. First, I didn't get to put them to bed each night. Then, I had 50/50 - stunned and felt like half my body was gone. 2 years later, TRO issued on absolute lies and I had every other weekend and each Wed. night I begged the judge for. I finally gave up and settled, knowing he is an abusive man and has our children most of the time. I don't have the money to match the over $1mil legal bill he has paid to get this done. Really, I don't know what is worse: living scared and abused every day or knowing your children will likely suffer the same fate as they mature. I couldn't protect them when I was there. At least now I can model good parenting when I have them so they will know the difference. Everyone tells me just to be the best mom I can be, to wait and they will vote with their feet. It has been several months and I still feel someone drained my blood from my body. Most days are a little better than the previous. It is hard no matter what you do. Just prepare yourself for divorce before you engage. The abusers are very successful in court because they do not care who they hurt, as long as they win. Liars also do very well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry about what you are going through.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg..i cannot even imagine....i feel for you
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
One more fact that I thought I would add after reading the last reply...my husband is a very successful lawyer, a litagator.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You will lose time with your child if you get divorced. That's just the way it is. Decide which is worse: sucking it up until dd is old enough to speak up to judge as to where she wants to be, or just go ahead with it if you are that unhappy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Totally cheated on my dh last night before coming home. I have to tell him, but we ha... 55 replies
- If not a fake,let's not ignore the need to highlight the words,"HE NEVER PAYS ATTENTION TO ME". OP may not understand that good, distracting sex is just that. It's likely you won't get the sort of attention you seem to crave from your husband-unless that is painful, upheaving and damaging to the spirit of your family. GL; this is a nightmare you don't seem to understand. I...
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Totally cheated on my dh last night before coming home. I have to tell him, but we have two small dbs. Still, he never pays any attention to me and he had an affair first so I don't think it's all my fault.
55 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 05:24 PM [ Flag ]juicy details plz!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Went out to a hotel in Manhattan. It was great. Dh called my cell; I told him I had a meeting. He took care of the dbs. I feel kinda bad, sort of.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]friend? ex? coworker? craigs list hookup?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really old friend who just got divorced
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you the same totally who totally had H1N1 last week and is desperately looking for some attention?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is there something wrong with you? Are you fat and unhappy? Totally. Ha.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]??
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh get a life, honey
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am very happy, so happy in fact I actually enjoy sleeping with my husband and don't feel the need to go elsewhere
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sure
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You're both wrong. End of discussion.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're soooo wise, wow.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMMMMMMMM
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I feel very sorry for you. Your life is a mess.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually, my life is great. I feel alive and look better than ever. My dh does what he wants so I decided I would too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: how long do you think this situation will last?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't really care, why?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you are just on a bad path......divorce is in your near future
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How can you be so nonchalant? this is your family and your marriage
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she obviously doesn't care about the consequences....
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope, I don't. Kids are well adjusted and always will be. My happiness comes first as it should. If Dh wants to do his own thing, I will too. I really don't care if we stay to gether or get a divorce. I do care if I'm happy in life, though
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're kind of sad and ignorant. this is soooooo fake
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, if that's what makes you feel better than say I'm fake, but the truth is: It's real and I love it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
how can you assume that your children will always be well adjusted? they won't be for long if you continue to mess up their life, oh but as long as you're happy...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If I'm happy so are my kids. Are you jealous? I think so.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]haaaaaaa, so jealous! anyone could have this situation. just start cheating and voila! how old are dcs?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]3 and 4. And I don't think just anyone could have this situation and make it work.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are so messed up, your happiness does not equal kids happiness, you need to realize that
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So happy mom = happy kids? Wow. That sounds easy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How on earth do you know if your kids will always be well adjusted?! Circumstances change. Kids change. Life hurts.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Your life ISN'T great. You have a dh who doesn't care about you at all. And YOU are just as selfish. I guess we all get what we deserve in the end....
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am guessing you have a miserable marriage, why are you still in it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]FAKE
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are so boring, go find something to do. It's not fake at all.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]without a doubt
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're fake.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it does sound fake
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, okay. I'm fake, I'm sooooo fake that I
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^would post this fake situation. I'm just trying to say that there are alternative lifestyles out there that work.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, how long do you think this will "work"? you are in La La Land. kids are going to pay for your "happiness"
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How will they pay? Their parents are happy doing what they want. My dc are well taken care of and provided for. They are loved and paid attention to. What are you talking about?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, just curious, why did you post this in the first place? i don't get it
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
FAKE
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If this is real you sound as if you are very unstable and need help
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You sound like you need to get a degree to judge people
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If not a fake,let's not ignore the need to highlight the words,"HE NEVER PAYS ATTENTION TO ME". OP may not understand that good, distracting sex is just that. It's likely you won't get the sort of attention you seem to crave from your husband-unless that is painful, upheaving and damaging to the spirit of your family. GL; this is a nightmare you don't seem to understand. I don't care if you feel remorse. I know you are unhappy and hope you can start loving yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Fake and mental
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]if it's not fake it might as well be, for all the consideration this poster is going to get here
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So only fake posters get attention? Pray tell, where do you get your logic?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Thank you. I really have problems in my life right now and I want to come online, laugh and do mindless things for 10 mins a day. This post qualifies.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Go for it! Live! Guilt is for wussies and hypocrites.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Please get some therapy. Your children will get older at some point and then they'll truly understand how dysfunctional your marriage/their homelife is. Your children are young and you can get away with almost anything, but that won't last forever. You have major issues in your life that you are refusing to address. It will catch up with you some day.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 05:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]hey..i'm a weirdo...but just have this one time stand...feel energized, and then go back to normal life. Normal life will feel better. But if you make the fling too long, then normal life gets worse.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Will the fake police please remove herself? Either get on with the conversation or move off. I hate it when people label a convo as a fake. Use your wit -- is there another F word you can use? Ugh. As for you OP -- EVERYONE's family is dysfunctional so for those who want to judge, please take a very close look at your situation.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My eldest is in high school now. I just want you to know that most of the stuff you a... 27 replies
- NP: I always think that that is so funny! Just doesn't make sense to me. Also people who insist on single sex education for their K-12 daughters but would never send them to one of the single sex colleges....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
My eldest is in high school now. I just want you to know that most of the stuff you are freaking out about doesn't matter.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag ]What does matter? Any tips on what not to do, or what to do, that really end up mattering?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I"m not out of the woods yet - but the things I'm happy we did - firm but reasonable boundaries, honor what interests your child, not what is cool or is a resume builder, nurture their friendships and their self esteem. Try not to control everything.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Those all sounds very wise. I'm assuming all that helped produce a happy, well-balanced teen?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so far so good!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's great. Those a very good principles to parent by.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
can you elaborate on what you mean? I'm truly curious.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe not to you. I suppose you have "more important" things to freak about.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we started at a prestigious school that you'd all love to get into. Moved away and now in the suburbs, but still very close with friends in NYC. The smart kids are doing fine, but some are not as academic as their parents wish. Being organized and being motivated are much more important than being "gifted". And they become real people! with their own interests so even the best laid plans ..... Just try to keep some perspective. They will all get into a good college. Maybe not Harvard. Maybe yoru kid would hate Harvard anyway!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NYC does have a significant population to whom education is fundamentally important. Not that the same isn't true of people in the suburbs, but we're very condensed here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]btw, my 2 kids attended academically *prestigious elementaries, took an active role in HS choices and were very clear about the colleges they wanted to attend.They have their own interests and personalities; education is among those.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Aren't you the lucky ducky who managed to produce such perfect dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL, I'm in an affluent NYC suburb. I can assure you that education is just as important here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Excuse me,if my allowance of your presence in my post wasn't sufficient to allay your indignation.To poster above yours: Yes, I am a lucky person. I'd be lucky no matter what our kids' interests were. Perfect isn't how I describe people.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You sound like you "managed" your kids' education and direction to get to these circumstances.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can be sure that we made the choices for early ed and guided them through their choices later. That is our job.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sounds good. I'm not Harvard crazed so this speaks to me. I went to a very small college and it was great. It amazes me that everyone here wants small class size for ongoing, but so HYP obsessed where their DCs will be in these huge classes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I always think that that is so funny! Just doesn't make sense to me. Also people who insist on single sex education for their K-12 daughters but would never send them to one of the single sex colleges.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]the hypocrisy I love is when people are OBSESSED with TT schools leading of course to HYP, but then they flame the guys on wall street. um, did you expect your kid to choose to be a teacher after all the top education?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know many who graduated from Ivies and became teachers, just guessed they have a higher calling or are just plain not obsessed with money.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have a number of friends who attended Harvard. Not one of them hated it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but you must admit it's not right for everyone. FWIW I know someone who liked it but who would state the negatives too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm not sure what you're trying to say. I have trouble believing that if we get shut out of privates and public G&T and have to go to our terrible zoned gen ed it wouldn't matter. Your experience is tt private vs suburbia. These aren't my options.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well of course it is. FIrst there are many privates, not just TT. and there are good zoned publics in NYC and of course there are the burbs. Many of those options are available to you if you are flexible and well adjusted.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]good zoned publics are available if you are willing to move to the zone and if you get lucky and aren't capped out. I suppose moving is what you mean by flexible. Not sure what you mean by "well adjusted". And there aren't enough private spots even at the worst privates for everyone who applies.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Me too, I have a HS teen who scored 99+ and attends TT school in NYC. You are so right in that they define who they are and what their interests are not you. It is so frustrating that they ignore their "given talents" to pursue their "interest", but they have to live their own lives and not your dreams.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can say this about ANYTHING though. I conceived through IVF but it would be sort of insensitive for me to go onto a message board for people struggling with infertility and IVF and say, "I have 6 year old twins now. I just want you to know... blah, blah, blah". See what I'm saying? We all KNOW that ERB scores won't matter a hoot once our kids are in HS, just as it doesn't matter how many eggs were retrieved during my IVF cycle now that 2 of those eggs are in 1st grade... but we all live in the moment when it comes to parenting and our kids. Everyone is just trying to do their best. Nice for YOU that you're past all that, congrats?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Difference is that TTC is quite uncertain; you must go through certain steps to have a chance at success. But OP's point is that DCs grow up and get educated regardless of the details we're sweating.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Why do people feel like they can ask me when I'm planning on having another baby (whi... 18 replies
- it, but a lot of people who struggle do not want to be asked this question. I myself HATE being asked this question. It's no more intrusive than Why do I work instead of staying at home? How often do I have sex with my husband? How many months did it take us to conceive? All -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Why do people feel like they can ask me when I'm planning on having another baby (which I am not)? WTF is wrong with them. How about minding your own business. Vent over.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag ]yeah, I get asked that about #3 all the time. truth is, I don't know the answer and I feel really uncomfortable discussing it. but whatever. in the grand scheme of things it's low on my list of annoyances.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh Lord, you mean it doesn't stop after dc #2? What is wrong with people? Lol...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My dd is 2.4 and I am unsure about another however, b/c I only have once child I get asked that all the time. I don't know when it became common to pop out 2-4 kids in a row with only a year or two difference between the ages. I can barely handle dd. Don't know how I would handle 4 kids all under the age of 8 - thanks but no thanks. I've got enough time to have more if I want but I don't want them all at one time. I just tell everyone that one is enough but dh is bugging for #2 b/c he didn't like being an only child.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ one child
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So some of us like to chat about something. So shoot us.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree - what the hell are they thinking - don't they know some of us CANNOT have another one. People are so clueless and insensitive.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i can't have another and people ask me all the time. it gets frustrating, like the years that people asked why i didn't have a child when i had medical problems that were preventing it. but sometimes people ask by habit or by honest curiosity about you. either way, i don't find the questions meanspirited or nosy in any way. but i do wish when i give the answer, that i can't because of my age or medical issues, people would regard this as an opening for a debate. they should just leave it at that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR here who likes to ask. I had a lot of problems getting and staying pg. I think that is why I am extra interested about others. I do not remember being so curious before I struggled myself. I get asked questions all the time like whether I had IVF (I have twins) and I really do not mind because I know people are genuinely curious especially if they or someone close to them has struggled with infertility.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, but you are really off. I think some people who struggle are like you and want to talk about it, but a lot of people who struggle do not want to be asked this question. I myself HATE being asked this question. It's no more intrusive than Why do I work instead of staying at home? How often do I have sex with my husband? How many months did it take us to conceive? All -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Then you should understand that people struggle with their infertility in different ways. I had repeated miscarriages and only two friends know about it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is fine. There is no need to tell anyone that you had miscarriages unless you want to. But why should the topic of how many children you want be off limits? I mean come on, there are only so many things to discuss and nearly every one of them can be taboo... politics, religion, SAHM vs WOHM, where you live, what you do... can be sore spots for some and not others. If you are not comfortable with the subject, change it. But don't take offense if someone asks you if you plan to have another child!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]To me it's deeply personal and nobody else's business. To me OP isn't offended but just frustrated that a sore topic keeps getting bought up. You don't seem sensitive to that, fine, glad we're not friends.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]In no way am not sensitive to her feelings! I relate to them. I had many miscarriages and was deathly afraid that I would never have a child. It pained me at work when coworkers would mingle and chat nonchalantly about when to have number two. All I am saying is that it is a completely normal topic and should not be considered off limits and that perhaps you could look at the whole topic in a different light.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]But thanks for being so nice and saying you are glad we are not friends.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Because I struggled with secondary infertility, I would NEVER ask anyone this question. I now realize exactly how intrusive it actually is. Before that, though, I was unaware. I tell my DH that he shouldn't ask it either, but he doesn't agree, doesn't see what the big deal is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I get frustrated, too. People just shoot off at the mouth without thinking.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oddly enough, this doesn't bother me. i think it's kinda cute. i don't feel pressure about it even. (i have 1 dc.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]people ask me (on the street!) all the time if I am going to have a fourth. or they say "you're done, right?" why would I tell you?! lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] So Johnny Depp is Sexiest Man Alive ... again? Why do they pick the same men over an... 108 replies
- I'm thinking Clive Owen- not super cute, but good sex appeal....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
So Johnny Depp is Sexiest Man Alive ... again? Why do they pick the same men over and over again? Clooney, Pitt, boring. Find someone new!
108 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag ]but he is...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i disagree. i think he's creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. Nobody famous beats Johnny Depp. Swoon.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, Javier Bardem beats those guys.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes he is...mmmmmm
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 03:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How someone under 5'6" gets this award I'll never know-
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's all about the face and that he's photo-genic
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they are all short. all of them.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are not allowed to be too famous and be over 5'6" unless you are a supermodel. It is a rule. You can't be taller than all the other actors.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]daniel day lewis anyone?? but you're right most are short
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why is it okay to be so hateful to short men in our society? My husband is short and he is sexy, smart, funny, and fun.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]is he really 5'6"?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Johnny Deep is the sexiest man alive IMHO. I don't see anything that great about Clooney and Pitt, they are just average, plus they are getting old.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]depp and pitt are same age, clooney is maybe 1 year older.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i love clooney but i have never though Pitt was sexy. Boring looking, jsut like Tom Cruisce
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree about Pitt but think TC is sexy. I know I know...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]to me Pitt adn Crusie are men that straight men think women find sexy. not men women actually find sexy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]funny! and prob true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used to think so too, before he went bugshit crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Pitt is BO-RING. Nice-looking but boring.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Doctor Freud, your slip is showing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
nominations?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: tim mcgraw, daniel craig?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]daniel craig looks too much like vlad putin.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg. true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hear hear on Tim McGraw.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
daniel day lewis
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]too euro for middle america
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMG, soooo hot.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Colin Farrell
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]too dirty and borderline criminal for middle america
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]by the same logic JD is too feminine so how do you explain that?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but isn't colin farrell a drunk? depp at least is an unconventional family man.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's true but I was talking looks
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
depp is usually pretty dirty looking and he lives in France - not really middle america either
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]He was on Nantucket this summer on his amazing yacht, family in tow.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
he IS too dirty. If he were a woman, he would be called trailer trash.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Morgan Freeman
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]he isn't even the sexiest grandfather...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]he's obviously intelligent and very poised and I find that sexy. I don't mean I would want to sleep with him.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh then I agree. But I kind of assume the sleep with part in "Sexiest Man Alive."
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wouldn't want to sleep with any movie star. I don't like vain men, and they are all so obviously vain.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not talking about the person part. Just the aesthetic. Hell, Mel Gibson has won it (and gotten my vote) but if there is someone around who is uglier on the inside, I can't think of him.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol! so true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I thought he slept with his granddaughter - must be sexy enough
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]??
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]get out!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It was his "step" granddaughter and I think he denied it but wasn't this all over the place this summer? I don't even follow celebrity stuff and I heard this, so I figured everyone must know.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
how about a football player or gerard butler or someone more masculine- tall and built, and well maybe not an actor?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Okay, then Henrik Lundqvist.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Obama
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm thinking Clive Owen- not super cute, but good sex appeal.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so off him. Just not a very good actor.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good one!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Steve Buscemi
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good example of ugly-sexy (Phillip Seymour Hoffman is another example) but doubt the readers of People magazine would agree.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]buscemi? I just threw up in my throat.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too--I do NOT get that one at all. He's like Christopher Walken meets that shuffling white-haired guy who works for Prince Humperdinck all wrapped into one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Alexander Skarsgard
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Peter Skarsgaard? If so, ITA.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Jeter
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]only if you're a Yankees fan!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, I think he's sexy and I'm not a sport fan
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]okay, objectively he's attractive, but I'm a red sox fan and cannot bring myself to like anything about the Yankees. yes, i'm bitter. lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ita
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]He isn't half a attractive as Alex Rodriguez
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]centaur
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOLLLLLLLL
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Christian Bale
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]jason bateman
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mmm, good one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i don't think he would sell more than 5 magazines.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]every time someone mentions Jason Bateman, all I hear is Will Arnett/GOB in his faux-creepy tone, saying, "MICHAEL..."
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Jon Hamm. No contest.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]BINGO! ITA. old-school classic manly hotness.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yep! He's got it! But he may not look that good on the big screen...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
But it's not Hamm. It is specifically Draper.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's true. He's actually a little goofy looking when not in character.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, it's Don Draper the character.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: true, part of it is Draper, but I've seen him around in person a few times, and let me tell you, nothing I'd complain about. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Fair enough.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Fastest resolution to an UB disagreement ever. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Guess Jon Hamm brings out the best in us!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
colin firth
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Gerard Butler
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think the editors pick someone who they think will sell magazines.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: ita. so what about will smith?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]black. a problem for a surprising number of people. Was Denzel ever sexiest?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know, but he's definitely gorgeous
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, also twice! sheesh, they pick the same 4-5 men.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Denzel has been in People's Most Beautiful more than once, I'm pretty sure.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what, black people don't buy magazines?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I remember thinking re Legend, that if you wanted one man to repopulate the earth, it would be Will Smith!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 05:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
because 1. people marketing research shows that depp sells the most magazines 2. he has a movie coming out and his publicist agreed to let people put him on the cover. simple as that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is a business, right.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bingo. this about sums it up. Thread over and finished.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wrong. People editorial is very protective of their editorial content and would rather chew off their own arms than have their Marketing Dept. dictate their front cover. Yes, they know what sells, but they pride themselves in being independent.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they can only be independent to a point, in this economy. sad but true. if marketing didn't dictate their cover (which i could believe, actually), it's still true that the availability of depp vs. some other star, and his PR's willingness to approve the photo, was probably what decided it for them.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK, if this makes you happy: editorial independently comes up with what works best for marketing. amazing how clever those editorial people are.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why is it that Nicole Kidman always makes any list for females? I just don't understand why anyone is drawn to her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA! so cold and unappealing imo
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Clive Owen is the only one who should have been considered.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOOOOOOOVE Clive. go see "The Boys are Back" if you haven't already. Clive as father is just about the definition of sexy in my book.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My vote has to go to Viggo Mortensen, lovely sharp features, very masculine and multi talented. Probobaly not main stream enough though. easier for them to go with Jack Sparrow.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes! strong sexy silent type I love it!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] This sounds like a dumb question, but I really need answers. What does it mean to "w... 8 replies
- communication. keeping the sex life vital and interesting too, which is work imo...
- snack out of the blue just cuz you love him. oh yes, and having sex most of the time that he asks....
- it is hard work but i would suggest that an active sex life is both a foundation and symptom of a good marriage. also, listening...
Talk : : November 18, 2009
This sounds like a dumb question, but I really need answers. What does it mean to "work hard" at making a marriage good? I'm trying to figure out whether DH and I just need to work at our marriage to make it better, or if it's just done. If you could please give me examples of how couples "work" to make a marriage good, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 09:18 AM [ Flag ]Making yourself go on date night, when you would rather stay at home and watch tv
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the obvious answer is counseling. but it also can mean,. think abotu what teh problem is and try to change you behavior. Stop snapping, try being appreciative, whatever you need. adn also taking time to be together and having fun -- not being mommy and daddy all the time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]letting go of the small stuff
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]"work" is what I always hear to, but I think if it actually seems like labor (not the birthing kind), something is off. Effort/maintenance and compromise, yes - I think a big part of it is letting stuff go, i.e., your way is not always the right way, not getting hung up on stupid nitpicky things that in the grand scheme of things aren't important, not trying (too hard) to change things that you were well aware of when entering into relationship.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]communication. keeping the sex life vital and interesting too, which is work imo
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]acting like husband/wife and not like roomates. praising and supporting each other. not getting angry about the small stuff. anticipating each other's needs, like making dh's favorite meal or getting him his favorite snack out of the blue just cuz you love him. oh yes, and having sex most of the time that he asks.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actively communicating with your spouse. I don't mean hi/bye. But communicating about all things that concern you. Making a conscience decision to not harbor anger but to discuss your feelings. Listen to your spouses feelings. If there are issues to not push them under the rug for fear of someone blowing up or tuning you out, but actually discussing the issues. Then coming up with solutions that work for both parties.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it is hard work but i would suggest that an active sex life is both a foundation and symptom of a good marriage. also, listening to the other is critical. it's easy to tune each other out over time but you have to pay attention to what is important to THEM, not just you. even if you aren't really interested, you must recognize that listening is an investment you make in the relationship. it's cliche, but women look for fixer uppers and hope their dhs will become what they want them to and men think dw won't change at all. you have to stay interested in each other and that takes discipline and effort
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 02:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] DH is my first relationship to last longer than three years- is it normal for the pas... 4 replies
- how old is your child and are you ininterested in sex in general, ro jsut with him. certainly some dry spells are normal....
- less physically demanding, it gets better. Do date nights (standing babysitter once a week) and have sex when you get home and they are asleep. Go away overnight at least once a month...
- OP: dc is 10 months. In theory I'm interested in sex but when a few hours of "free time" appear I'd rather read or vegetate...
Talk : : November 18, 2009
DH is my first relationship to last longer than three years- is it normal for the passion to basically be nonexistant after 5 years + 1 dc? He is a great husband/father (generally) and I adore him but I haven't had interest in sex with him for ages.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag ]how old is your child and are you ininterested in sex in general, ro jsut with him. certainly some dry spells are normal.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: dc is 10 months. In theory I'm interested in sex but when a few hours of "free time" appear I'd rather read or vegetate or whatever than have sex. We haven't gone away overnight since he has been born- not sure how to work it (we don't have family nearby) but that might an idea.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, when your children get a bit older > 5, they sleep better and are less physically demanding, it gets better. Do date nights (standing babysitter once a week) and have sex when you get home and they are asleep. Go away overnight at least once a month for a night of sex. Believe me, it works wonders. 3dc
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Relationships mature. Eric Fromm wrote a great book about this, "The Art of Loving."
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I married the right man. 12 replies
- went for stability. married 7 years, 2dcs later, sex life nil, fantasizing about ex....
- good man, responsibe, sexy enough that you will always find him attractive. you don't need the crazy sex all the time, plus that might go away and then what happens....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
-
me too! Do you think it was luck?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Do you think OP knows he's a bigamist? (This seems like a harsh way to tell her if she doesn't.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yay!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me three! It has made all the difference in having a great life and not. We still have problems to face but it is better with him.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mee too! Def wasn't luck--I made a conscious decision to be with someone I really liked as a person and respected (instead of someone I was crazy head over heels in love with and had amazing passion).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Interesting. My GF is currently with a man who is wonderful but doesn't have a lot of passion with. Her ex-bf was throw-each-other-against-the-wall kind of passion. She's trying to figure out if she would stay or find someone who rocks her world. Advice?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]went for stability. married 7 years, 2dcs later, sex life nil, fantasizing about ex.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good man, responsibe, sexy enough that you will always find him attractive. you don't need the crazy sex all the time, plus that might go away and then what happens.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I thought long and hard about choosing a man that I respected and was my best friend over a guy whose clothes I wanted to rip off. At the end of the day, passion fades, but hopefully true friendship and respect won't. We try to spice things up, but in the end have a really solid foundation and I never allowed myself to feel like I was compromising.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: personally, that kind of passion usually goes together with a lot of volatility and drama which is just not my thing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. have 2 ex-bfs with whom I had "passion" and what it amounted to, in the end, was just drama and me being less than my true, honest self. DH is my best friend and I cannot imagine a life built with anyone else.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Me too! 20 years of marriage and counting.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Sarah Palin's son, Trig, was one of the "hot topics" on The View today. Barbara Walt... 80 replies
- form of birth control- also teenagers pregnant more in poorer areas (and places where sex education is weak- hello red states!) and they get abortions-...
- red states have higher teen pregnancy rates as well. read "red sex, blue sex," in the new yorker, from a year ago....
- people just need to know. Just like some people just need to know the sex of the baby....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Sarah Palin's son, Trig, was one of the "hot topics" on The View today. Barbara Walters read a statistic that 90% of fetuses found to have down syndrome are terminated. Last poll I read said something like the split between pro-life/pro-choice in the US is close to 50/50, so I don't see, mathematically, how it can be that 90% of ds pregnancies are terminated.
80 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 08:20 AM [ Flag ]I think it is probably bc many people are pro-life until they are faced with having to raise a DS child.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Or that pro-choice people have a disproportionate number of DS pregnancies. Maybe it has something to do with age--women who wait to get married and have children in order to build their careers are statistically more likely to be pro-choice. Then they are older when they get pregnant so DS is more likely.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Just a hunch, but I would guess what you say may be more true for NYC, where many women wait to have children... but for the country as a whole, I would guess more pro-lifers tend to have babies with down syndrome, because many don't believe in birth control and thus continue to have children into their forties. In our Catholic church there were many babies with downs-syndrome (usually the youngest in the family). I imagine that not every woman feels she can handle that at forty with many other children to care for as well (pro-life or not).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. You don't really know what you believe until you are tested.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't agree entirely. I opted at 40 not to have a cvs or amnio because I knew that whatever I learned wouldn't change anything, I was going to have that baby anyway. Some of us know what we believe on this subject without being tested.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And others think they do until they're faced with a frightening reality.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, but as someone pointed out below if you know you won't terminate there's no point in getting the testing done. By opting out of the tests I was making a descision to have my child regardless of the number of chromosones he had.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not true. There is a point to getting testing, even if you will not terminate under any circumstances. If you do have a DB that will have a problem, then you have the time/ability to prepare for what's coming. Arranging for necessary specialists, arranging leaves/benefits, preparing older DCs, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And those are the 10% who found out dc had Down's and didn't abort. For many of us, the risk of the procedure causing harm outweigh any benefit of lining up specialists.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The risk of the procedure varies by doctor. If you don't trust your doctor to properly perform an amnio, find a new doctor.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why is it not OK in your book for someone to elect to not have the procedure? You are being very anti-choice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yup. I think this is the ans. dead on.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's "anti-abortion," not "pro-life." Let's stop playing into the hands of the Christian Right by using their terminology. I am pro-choice. I am not anti-life.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP here - I used old-school terms, sorry. The Christian Right also refer to pro-choice as "pro-abortion," didn't want to offend anyone, just to get some speculation on the numbers.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: sorry, didn't mean to call you out. i just hate that we have all adopted these terms without thinking about what they imply. it is my mission in life to reframe the terms to something more accurate that doesn't feed into the crazy christian right agenda.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
your semantics make no sense. You are "pro-choice", not "anti-life" but those who are "pro-life" are "anti-abortion", you sound like an idiot... be consistent.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I read an article about pro-life women who have abortions. It happens
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, you don't know howthat 50/50 split is skewed by gender or age. and yes, people who say they are pro-life have abortions.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The great irony is that the traditional "red" states have (1) higher divorce rates, (2) higher # of abortions and (3) higher % of poverty... People don't do what they "believe"--they are better at telling other people what to do...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you think those red states have no blue in them? that doesn't really make any statistical sense--
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]residents of red states, on average, tend to be less eductaed, poorer, less white- this contributes to higher rates of all that you suggest above. The education levels and incerased poverty have way more to do with it than the political convictions-
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i thought poor are more likely to have baby, whereas wealthy are more likely to have abortion?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]actually, lots of poor women have multiple abortions- lack of access to health care and bad choices lead to lack of birth control, so they use abortion as a form of birth control- also teenagers pregnant more in poorer areas (and places where sex education is weak- hello red states!) and they get abortions-
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what a tragically black and white way to look at the world. do you teach your child that the people in "red states" are ignorant, right wingers? how sad.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]red states have higher teen pregnancy rates as well. read "red sex, blue sex," in the new yorker, from a year ago.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I wonder what the ages of the moms who terminate are vs those who don't. IME its easier to be pro-life, or see any issue in black and while with no shades of grey, when you're young. As we get older, wiser, and have more life experiences to draw from most issues enter the grey area.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never claimed to know what others could/should do but I always said I would never opt for termination of my child. Then quad screen said 1:4 for Trisomy 18/21 and I did research on what T18/21 is. And I thought about the two kids we already had. And the world got very very gray.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow. This is really interesting. I had a baby not long ago and wondered what I'd have done in that situation. And?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, I should not have dropped it there -- I got pulled away. When they hooked up the ultrasound to do the amnio there was no heart beat. Decision averted. Fate's kindness has never hurt so much.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: Jesus. I am so sorry. But you're right: the Fates had something else planned maybe.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. I'm at peace with it for the most part but when his/her due date passes it is tough.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
because a) many people who are pro-life don't have an amnio b/c they know they wouldn't abort no matter what the test shows and b) some people consider themselves pro-life but still make exceptions so in a poll they would answer that they are pro-choice, but what they really mean is that abortion isn't a form of birth control.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The pro-lifers I know believe that amnio is unnecessary and dangerous.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]for them it is....
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, I think I have heard that some pro-lifers will not have an amnio because they feel it implies that they MIGHT abort.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am prolife and I choose not to have an amnio. Not because of what it might imply to anyone. I choose not to because of the potential risk of amnio. I know many prolife people and having an amnio or not is just a matter of what they feel comfortable with. Some people just need to know. Just like some people just need to know the sex of the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I agree with poster who says pro-lifers probabyl don't ahev an amnio, I'd be curious to really know if the stat is 90% of DS pregnancies, or 90% of pregnancies where the mother tests and finds out the baby has DS- we're talking very different populations here!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm pro life and did not have an amino. I did not want to be in the position of having to make an decision. It all worked out and my children are healthy. BTW, most people thought I was crazy for not having test before babies born.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I choose not to have any tests and no one except my dr. has ever asked me anything at all about it. Do people really get into other peoples personal decisions like that?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Palin's behavior after she went into labor with Trig was so completely bizarre and showed such indifference to the health and well-being of her child that I can't help wondering whether she did not want him to live.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]please elaborate!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. She was leaking fluid and decided to go give a speech!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not only give a speech--fly home from Texas to Alaska!! http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/10/palins-medica-2.html
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's a crazy article - I can't believe she had the amnio to supposedly prepare herself for any diagnosis, but then didn't tell her children.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Andrew Sullivan, the daily dish, is a kook. He is not a responsible journalist, but a conspiracy theorist who does not report facts.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really? I'm not a huge fan of him personally, but don't consider him remotely kooky or inventive re facts. And the Atlantic is pretty tough re that kind of thing. What supposed non-facts do you have a quibble with here? Most people on UB would tell you that most airlines won't even let you fly after 8 mos. and it's true that she was leaking amniotic fluid. If that were you, would YOU get on a long flight? No way, unless you felt indifferent or worse towards your baby's health and survival.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How do you know for fact that she was leaking amniotic fluid? SHe gave birth in a HOSPITAL, and there were no complications. Not on the plane, not on the road, not on the bus, but in a hospital room.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i have thought something similar. not necessarily that she didn't want him to live, but that she was really ambivalent, at best, about the whole thing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Which I have a certain level of sympathy for, frankly, but it seems so hypocritical and creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you and me both.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, that whole thing was weird as hell. I never believed the "Bristol is Trig's real mother" rumor but Palin's behavior surrounding this birth was just crazy. I never thought of that as an explanation but actually I can sort of believe that she was losing her mind a little bit and feeling very, "Let God decide what he wants to happen," about it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you people are very creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We're not the ones who got on a 8-hour plane flight while in labor. Now that's creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you know she was in labor? You do know she gave birth in a hospital.....
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Her water was broken! This was her fifth pregnancy, you can't tell me she didn't know that was a sign of labor.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you quoting Plain who said her water broke or are you getting the info from the dubious Andrew Sullivan of the "daily dish"... this is beyond creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]According to the New York Times, Palin herself has said that her water was broken when she got on the plane.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And why do you keep calling this "creepy", anyway?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just in case you missed it, no it was not just Andrew Sullivan.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]meant to add this http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]never read the link, but the discussion of amniotic fluid as if this is pertinent information that needs to be addressed months after a safe delivery is strange. Move along and discuss her policies, not her amniotic fluid.
[ Reply | Options ]11.21.09, 03:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
These studies are flawed in that people who pursue prenatal diagnosis in general are more likely to terminate an affected pregnancy. I am a genetic counselor and work in a population where I would say 80% of patients decided against amniocentesis/CVs, so we have no idea what they would do if they found out a pregnancy was affected. Prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome by maternal blood sampling is coming. When the risk from the procedure is taken out, and more people have testing, we may get a better idea of what the true statistic is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm Catholic, would not have terminated a pregnancy and had an amnio. I grew up with a cousin who had Down's, and knew that if there was something wrong with my DB, I'd want to know, so that I could be prepared to manage the situation - line up the right specialists in advance, prepare other family members, arrange DH and my leave/benefits, etc. Just having an amnio doesn't automatically mean anything.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]abortion is one of those issues where how we feel is not how we act when reality hits us in the face. Lots of anti-choice folks will abort when it's their lives that are about to get turned upsidedown with an unwanted pregnancy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]For some maybe but not for most. If you really believe something, you don't just stop believing it because circumstances change.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, you keep opposing abortion -- while having one when it's your own pregnancy you want to end. Amazing how many anti-choice types lack the courage of their convictions when they (or someone in their family) gets pregnant.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we tried 8 years to have my daughter and were told during one of her screenings she had markers for downs. i'm pro-choice, but refused a amnio and refused to abort. i never thought about raising a special needs child, but i knew that she was a miracle and couldn't wait for her arrival regardless. anyway, all went well despite concerns and we delivered a perfectly, beautiful, brilliant and happy baby. so you never know.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am pro-choice but I knew I would never terminate a Downs baby. I did the nuchal fold testing (both for my twins and my singleton) to get some idea of the risks. When it was normal, I opted not to do CVS or amnio. If the nuchal fold had shown a high risk, I likely would have done more testing just to do as an earlier poster suggested - line up specialists, read up on the challenges etc. etc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
bc many people don't think beyond elective abortions in the event of unwanted pregnancies - so they say they are "anti abortion" or "prolife". those same people can feel very differently when faced with the possibility of a db w DS or other serious medical/physical/congenital issues.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]many people think that being "pro-life" means that they personally would never get an abortion and that being "pro-choice" means that they would. they don't get that it's a political viewpoint: being prolife means that you think that NO WOMAN should be allowed to get an abortion and being prochoice means you think that the choice to terminate or continue a pregnancy should be in the hands of the woman. It's kind of like being anti-poverty does not mean only that you personally don't want to be poor...
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you are wrong... I am pro-choice for others, pro-life for myself. Quite frankly, if women want to abort their children there is nothing I could do to stop them. Therefore, I believe women should be able to abort their babies, I just would never abort my own.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]walk a mile in someone else's shoes...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she said she is pro-choice for others so that cliche proverb is out of place
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Prochoice for others to abort their babies. I am prolife for my own children.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
or: that is EXACTLY what I am saying. pro-choice is a political stance meaning that you believe women should ahve the right to choose to terminate OR to keep a pregnancy. Pro-life means that you believe that women should NOT have that right - that the government should make it illegal to terminate a pregnancy. Neither has anything to do with what decision you would make about your own pregnancy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am prolife. Everything is not as black and white as your perceive in your views of what it means to be "prochoice" or "prolife" and most of America is in the gray area. I am cognizant that some mothers will abort their children.... and again, my energies are better spent in living my life than worrying about mothers who abort their children. Most of America is in the grey area. Not the black and white world you insist is reality.
[ Reply | Options ]11.21.09, 03:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am absolute about this. f there is any chance that baby would be DS or even be slightly mentally retarded, or have any birth defects, I would abort it. No way jose.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you for letting us know what kind of children you would let live , and the others that you would abort. Again, your decision as a mother.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]any sort of birth defect? what if it is something like missing a toe? or a cleft lip? would you really abort for any type of birth defect? they are so common and most kids do fine!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What are you wearing when you are at home and your husband is with you? Do you change... 42 replies
- Ladies who don't make an effort for their husband are being a bit cavalier with their relationship. The sex industry in NYC is alive and targeting your man every day. Reality bites....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
What are you wearing when you are at home and your husband is with you? Do you change when he comes home from work to look special or put make up, etc? We have 2 DC's, I am SAHM, used to change into something nice and look good for my husband but lately let myself go.. usually wear training pants and a t-shirt. I love jeans but don't feel them comfi to wear at home in the evening.ANy other options? Thanks
42 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag ]I wear pajamas. He almost never sees me in clothes during the week because he leaves for work early and comes home late. On weekends I wear jeans during the day and dress up if we are going out at night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto. PJ's and sweats almost always.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto - i occasionally feel bad about and recently considered make up, but so far it is only in the theoretical stages.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^ (not really PJs but shorts / sweats /leggings and T
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I try to look nice all the time. I don't per se change into a whole other outfit but do try not be in pajamas the whole day, and do refresh my makeup (just lipstick).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i work at home and wear yoga pants with a sweatshirt. sexy!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]can you show me an example of yoga pants?! Where do you buy it? Thanks
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i get mine all over the place, but always buy them fairly cheap, under $20, from target to tj maxx, etc. lulu lemon has them but $$$: http://shop.lululemon.com/Lulu_Pant_II/pd/c/560/np/560/p/1407.html
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I usually take off my work clothes and put on something like sweatpants and a tee shirt.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too, and my husband strips down to his briefs and undeshirt. We're a sexy couple, what can I say?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]purrrr...;)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]please tell me he keeps on his dark socks
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's my husband!! Dress shirt, boxers, dark socks. Oooh baby. Can't make this stuff up.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my hubby is opposite. i had to train him to take off his suit when he gets home so he doesn't get dinner all over it. now he will change into pj pants when he gets home. i didn't think guys were trainable!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Absolute truth
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, and the undershirts are pretty badly stained too. THough my husband's gorgeous so still looks good.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
me too! the day is long and my pajamas are so comfy! he does the same thing a lot.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
June? Is that you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Only if it's our anniversary or his birthday or something. Other that, track pants and a T-shirt it is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? DH is one of the few people in front of who I can just let myself go. Why would I want to dress up for him?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow I am amazed at how many women wear sweatpants. To answer the question though. I could care less about how my husband sees me. I don't have to dress up for him, he surely doesn't for me. I like to wear make up and dress nice for myself though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You think sweats warrants a "wow"? That's all I wear unless we're going out. I have three young boys. Wow.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is this 2009 or 1963? I mean really.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am a sahm and super not fancy. dh gets home late, but I try to keep my day clothes (jeans, t shirt, sweater, etc.) on, brush my hair and put some lip gloss on before he walks in the door. I don't think he would care if I were in pj's, but I guess I do for some reason. I don't cook so this is as good as it gets here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't you just want to be yourself for him? He knows who you are? Why do you do this? I truly do not get it. My husband has seen me w/make up, w/o make up, naked, dressed, sick, healthy, pregnant, vomiting, etc. He loves me no matter what I look like, and why on earth would he care how I dress at the end of the day at home???????
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]of course. I like to stay dressed when he gets home. I feel a little better after a long day with 3 kids. that's me. and I like when he puts a little effort in as well. it's nice to care after many years together--like when we would go out on dates so long ago. he has seen the worst of it and couldn't care less. He's the best. you didn't really get what I was saying.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I get it. I think it's silly. And kind of sad.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow, I really can't see why. we have an hour a day together, and I look forward to it. whatever though. we're happy. I hope you are too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I guess I don't get it either. I've been married a while and I really could care less what I wear around him. I'm a SAHM mom too and he doesn't see me until late at night, if I'm awake when he gets home. By then I'm wearing whatever if anything at all. If I bothered to look nice he wouldn't notice anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, I guess lip gloss and hair brushing don't feel like a big effort to me, and it makes me feel a little nice after being with three little ones all day. I don't see why that's sad, but to each her own.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is sad that your husband wouldn't notice anyway..
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, i meant to post for the above poster.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is dumb. do you shave your armpits? or your legs? i mean, i guess i could keep the hair long on it because it doesn't bother me at all, but I don't want to "be myself" that bad. I know he loves me, but we are visual creatures at heart so yes, I will keep waxing/shaving my legs. He does the same for me...ex shaving 'down there', etc. even tho he would probably grow a huge rainforest if he was single
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ladies who don't make an effort for their husband are being a bit cavalier with their relationship. The sex industry in NYC is alive and targeting your man every day. Reality bites.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh go blow a hose.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She does, and that's why she's still married.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this may be taking it a bit far...but really why not look great for your DH? Make sure the jeans or whatever fit well and are flattering. I guess I am in the minority but I never wear sweatpants for longer than an hour after I get up...and I make sure those flatter me. It means more for me to look good for my DH than to look good for school pickup, for example.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
old tee-shirts (usually his)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mostly sweats. i only change & do makeup when i leave the house. he cares more about what's UNDER the clothes anyway!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm probably still in work clothes when DH comes home.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I take off my work clothes and put on comfy stuff - knit pants, tshirt and hoodie. DH is usually wearing the same kind of thing. I also wipe OFF my lipstick when I get home bc DH hates it when I wear makeup. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How is it that my child scored 98's on ERB's at 4 and is now a 5th grader (10)in the ... 35 replies
Talk : : November 18, 2009
How is it that my child scored 98's on ERB's at 4 and is now a 5th grader (10)in the middle of pack at her single sex? She was not prepped in any way for ERB's as a preschooler, unless you consider preschool as prep. She was reading when she enter K, as far as age she is in the middle for her grade with an April birthday. I just don't get it, and am considering tutoring since she seems to be struggling to keep up. Advice, thoughts? Thinking about public school for High School since what I thought was a great private has not helped my child reach her potential. Unfortunately this is a real post.
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag ]What does the school say? Are they recommending tutoring?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not yet, but they will evaluate for reading since she appears to have comprehension gaps.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is she really struggling to keep up? If she is in the middle of the pack, she may not be, but you have to be comfortable that she is not the absolute best in every subject. If she needs help with reading comp, that is easy enough for you to work with her at home on. I can see tutoring if there is a subject she is actually falling behind on but not just if she is in the middle academically. And, FWIW, 98 ERBs are a dime a dozen. Does not indicate higher intelligence among the private school students.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]:) Wow this board is alot more helpful than I remember when I was here a few years back. You folks are all raising very helpful points! She is a strong reader, but struggles in class assignments with comprehension writing assignments. At home obviously more relaxed and needs far less guidance. For what it is worth her teachers get her. But it did surprise me when her teacher mentioned reading evaluation.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
high score on ERB at 4yo is not necessarily her "full potential". by 5th grade there are other issues - is she self motivated, is she interested, does she care about school, etc/
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]She is not always self motivated, loves/hates her school depending on the "disagreement" that day, very sensitive. But like all kids sweet and loving the next minute.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sounds like she needs a lot of attention and public school would be a worse option.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maybe your kid would have done less well if in public for elem. How bad was the test score? How have her grades and report cards read? if she is successful along those lines, maybe she is a bad test taker. the test for older kids includes stuff like reading comp, which you can't test at 4. If you are really concerned you should pursue a neuro psych or psycho ed testing, which tell you about HOW your DD learns and where she is strong and weak and what type of school may be most appropriate. Has school said she is not keeping up? Are they worried?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]She is usually described as slow to start and finish. But this year may have improved slightly because it was only an issue with two subjects. She loves both classes, but is easily distracted by classmates. I think lack of sleep my be an issue.I was also more liberal with tv/computer/hand held games use, perhaps that is a factor as well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sleep is a big deal, btdt
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Because it's not just about raw intelligence. It's about motivation, attention, organization skills, auditory and visual processing. My ds got a 97 on the SB at age 4... due to concerns about issues like the ones I listed above, he was always in the middle of the pack at his academically challenging school. It didn't bother me though, he worked to capacity and his learning skills improved each year with maturity and practice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You raise a very good point, I am writing about a 10 yr old.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My ds is now in high school. His ability to be on top of his work continues to develop and he's now much more invested in his own academic success. When he was younger it was just "stuff he had to do". Maturity makes a huge difference for kids who've had the brain power, but not the motivation as young children.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
middle of the pack not so bad no? Better than bottom imo. Why is it so important to you that she be at the top, rather than where she is comfortable? A lot can change in ms.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not important to me, the fact that she see's herself as struggling somewhat is a worry for me. Thanks for saying/asking this because I needed to think about that as well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would give her a lot of support then, help her relax, her confidence at this particular moment might be the issue. And yes, sleep sleep sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you so much, your advice is very helpful. Your IRL are lucky.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you serious? ERBs are pretty much meaningless. The middle of the pack is a fine place to be, and many DC belong there. Unless she is depressed, bored, listless or unhappy in some way that is leading her to underachieve, stop worrying about her being "in the middle" and embrace her for who she is. And yes, get a tutor if she's struggling, or switch schools if she's unhappy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lol! thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Forgot to add, I will look for this book, thanks for the rec.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Agree with above poster! Have you ever read the mismeasure of man? Do it, it will make you feel better! Most of these tests are based on IQ tests, even when they claim that is not what they are... virtually meaningless for many kids as far as real potential. Just a test of acculturation at 4 YO!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's funny I used to say the same thing to others. I guess I didn't exactly feel it applied to my daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know what you mean :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
well said. i often wonder if these tests measure precociousness rather than aptitude or intelligence or academic potential. maybe the 99 means dc would make a great child actor but is not necessarily going to HYP?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Uhh my daughter loves drama and yes she was pretty precocious and still is to a degree. As I said before in my 3 yrs away from this board it appears to have become less snarky.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not trying to be snarky but i know you weren't staking all your hopes and dreams on dd's erb score at 4 years old.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh lord no! But it is very tempting to be wowed by your child's high test scores and yep I am guilty.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
think about this also some of the test is based on basic knowledge. If that knowledge was not taught to the 4 yo yet - how would they know it. They are so young. Not all parents sit and drill their kids with facts. Not all give them blocks to build with or teach them to write at that age. So many factors go into this test and it just isn't accurate at 4yo
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's funny but i am in a mommy and me class with my 17 month old, and the other moms are drilling their dcs! what is this color? look at this cube! it is unbelievable. so when their dcs score 99 they'll be convinced dc is brilliant too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^and OP, this is not directed at you, pls don't be offended.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]None taken. The joke is I was definately on the more laid back side of parenting, and alwaus shook my head at parent who drill babies. Perhaps the joke is a little bit on me as well, because I believed the hype of her scores as it were.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly- dd is 3.5 and I don't bring her around to museums. May start soon - so all those things she won't know until she's older. I haven't counted with her above 30 - so how would she know how to count to 100. Just doesn't seem important to me at this age.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is she in the middle of her class at a tt school? The group she is with is probably way above average. Middle is a nice, strong position, as long as she is motivated, learning, and happy socially.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes she is in the middle at her single sex. You all were very helpful. Brought me back to my senses and needed a nice verbal "snap out of it!"
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's the right reaction. ERBs are only helpful getting into ongoing schools. they are not a predictor of academic success or failure. think about it. your dc is taken to a strange room with strangers for 45 min - anything could and does happen. while a 98 is a very impressive score, it reflects as much about their success that day with that set of testors than anything else. while i am sure your dc is bright, if she's in the middle of the class and happy with herself, that's a big win imo.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I generally dress a bit 'sexy' at home by wearing very low cut tops and dresses. This... 7 replies
- not there. Here, I naturally dress more conservatively and cover up. Just because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of me. But I think women's bodies are beautiful and showing them doesn't have anything to do with being "sexed up."...
Talk : : November 17, 2009
I generally dress a bit 'sexy' at home by wearing very low cut tops and dresses. This works out very well for my sex life. But I have a 2yo ds on my hands... There is totally going to be a point where it's going to be weird for me to be all tarted up around him, isn't there? When will that be? Half a year? A year? Sigh.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 03:51 PM [ Flag ]To weird for whom? If you aren't too old and sorry, and are still in good enough shape, absolutely carry on Trixie!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How old are you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe when he hits puberty.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I teach high school, lots of the moms are "all tarted up" as you say - usually tastefully so.. Who cares? dress how you feel comfortable.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wear them-- I'm from Venezuela where women generally dress much sexier than in the US-- but dressing sexy does not mean you're easy. At least not there. Here, I naturally dress more conservatively and cover up. Just because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of me. But I think women's bodies are beautiful and showing them doesn't have anything to do with being "sexed up."
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't think it's appropriate to wear that around boys. You are teaching them that looks flaunting your breasts is appropriate and that you don't value your body. Boys like this grow up to be the kind of men that do not respect woman's bodies or women in general. You have to think, not what the clothes say to you but what the clothes say about you, in regards to your children.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how do you dress outside the house?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I have been peeing a lot last 2 months - on and off. Also been battling re-occuring ... 4 replies
- Eat a lot of yogurt! Drink a lot of REAL cranberry juice (mixed with water-- not cocktail). Clean VERY carefully before and after sex. Always have sex with a full bladder and pee immediately after. Take cranberry "vitamins"....
Talk : : November 17, 2009
I have been peeing a lot last 2 months - on and off. Also been battling re-occuring bouts of bacterial vaginosis. I went to the urologist today and don't have UTI. he thinks I have an overactive bladder. No I am scared and upset. I know it is not serious but that sucks. I am hoping that this problem is related to the vaginal infection but I just don't know. And why do I keep getting the bacterial infection if I have it again. Plus I suffer from anxiety and this peeing more frequently occurs even more when I am anxious. TIA
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag ]This is UB, so I thought I'd try here. Anyone else's toddler girl get awfully semlly "down there" since potty-training? I asked one pediatrician, and they said this is normal, as pee can get caught.. I plan to ask her primary pediatrician at 4 yo checkup. Anyone else surprised at the odor? Sorry in advance..pretty gross, I know.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, posted in wrong place! Sorry OP! Sounds like a UTI to me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DD is 2 and just training. It took me about an hour the other day to figure out what the smell I was smelling was (assumed it was me since i'm 8 mos preg and pee myself all day long...). Finally caught a whif of her pullup as I was putting her on the potty and it was definitely her. I am now diligently using wipes instead of just toilet paper when she goes to keep her as clean as if I was changing her diaper.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Eat a lot of yogurt! Drink a lot of REAL cranberry juice (mixed with water-- not cocktail). Clean VERY carefully before and after sex. Always have sex with a full bladder and pee immediately after. Take cranberry "vitamins".
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i am thinking a good waxing will spice up my sex life--as painful as it is--i think i... 21 replies
- that is pretty much how I feel about sex these days so the waxing would be a step up...
Talk : : November 17, 2009
i am thinking a good waxing will spice up my sex life--as painful as it is--i think i have to take one for the team--i am hoping it will make me feel sexy (just weaned so hopefully my libido will return)
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 01:33 PM [ Flag ]lord knows having my pubic hair pulled out by the roots always turns ME on.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - LOLLOLOLOLOL that made me really laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is pretty much how I feel about sex these days so the waxing would be a step up
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just shave it really close or cut w/nail scissors. Much less painful and similar enough result: short hair results in much better oral sex.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ugh- shaving is the worst!! makes for an itchy month waiting for the hair to grow out. take 2 advil or one glass of wine before going for your wax. i agree, getting rid of my 70's muff does help me feel sexier - sometimes i'll stop by the lingerie shop on my way home too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]doesn't the short hair give your husband "rug burn" on his face? sort of like making out when he hasn't shaved for a few days?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, but I have soft hair so that might make a difference. Also good to do the clipping a day or so before you expect action so that it is a bit less spikey
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, dumb question, but is waxing all about men going down on women? i always thought it was for dh's visual pleasure. of course, as you can tell, i'm not a waxer, though i do trim but not too close.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I always wax and DH is anti-oral pleasure. I just do it to make myself feel sexier.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]WTF? You DH is anti-oral?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why? Like, what's his argument?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No argument. Just doesn't like it. Giving or receiving. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow, that is really a shame. Sorry about that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. At least my first boyfriend was the best at it. Sadly, it's been 14 years since I've had it. Sigh.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: 14 years!? Sorry. Maybe he could do it just for you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wow, doesn't live giving or RECEIVING. I didn't think there was a man on the planet who didn't like receiving. Sorry.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
DH here, some guys (not all) are into the visual -- others (myself included) just don't like getting hair in our mouth. ;-p
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Good idea. Go for a nice spa day.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would go to J.Sisters they do the best wax. It does me feel a lot sexier. Probably because I know I will have a lot more sex. It turns my dh on like you wouldn't believe. The visual, the feel of oral, and intercourse seems to be a lot better for him when I wax.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same has been true for me. plus, if you keep waxing, it gets much less painful each time you go.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am kind of bummed out today. DH and I have been together a long time. I love him ... 16 replies
- If you just want/need sex, I would say try to reach an agreement w/ dh about...of this) that I almost don't even want to have sex with him anyway. I suspect the same thing happened in his first...point. My DW has given me a hard time for not initiating sex, and seems oblivious to the fact that she sends out "don'..., my guess is that you two are not well matched. The sex ending with the marriage is not a good sign....
Talk : : November 17, 2009
I am kind of bummed out today. DH and I have been together a long time. I love him a lot, but am not so much in love with him anymore since he severely curtailed our sex life literally on our wedding night. It took awhile, but I ajusted because we were great friends and true life partners. I worked really hard to help him start his own company and then I had a baby because he really wanted one. Things were still basically okay for a few years after DC was born, but he was distracted because his elderly parents were having issues (still do) and the sex was now down to about once a year (if it matters, I am fit and still attractive). Still, I never thought of looking elsewhere and tried to be a good, supportive wife. DH is not a great father and I've been disappointed about that. Then a few years ago he developed anxiety and maybe a bit of depression. He still lives in our house, but he might as well not be here. He is not unkind to DC and me, but is just in his own world. I am so miserable and lonely. I've developed an attraction to someone, but won't act on it. Occasionally, I think I should. I'm trying project a positive and happy attitude for my young child and usually succeed. Today I am just feeling so sad and not understanding how my life turned out this way.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag ]'adjusted', that is
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't act on it, but get counseling and maybe a divorce. sounds like you'd be much happier, and therefore so would dc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry, you sound very down. But it seems like you need to do something to improve your situation. Therapy?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow. you owe it to yourself and your child to get yourself a new situation.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you just want/need sex, I would say try to reach an agreement w/ dh about seeking it outside the marriage since he is unwilling to provide it. But, it sounds like are not even good friends any more and that you have emotional needs that are going unfullfilled as well. Perhaps counseling would help the two of you put everything in the open, but I wouldn't count on it working things out.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can't you just demand it? I sometimes have to turn to Dh and just lay it out. At first it felt like I was forcing him, but then it became more natural and he was up for it if I initiated it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess I could. He may or may not comply. It would just be so much nicer if it was his idea. It's been so long (13 years of this) that I almost don't even want to have sex with him anyway. I suspect the same thing happened in his first marriage (20+ years ago). I have tried really talking to him about how I feel (carefully timed so as not to add to his stress level), but he would never understand how unhappy I am unless I left. We are still co-existing peacefully and I'm not inclined to leave for DC's sake.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]For your own sake, just try to come on to him one night and see how he responds. DH told me that he thought that I was always too tired or never gave him an indication that I was in the mood. The first time I said "I'd like to make love to you" was really awkward, but was well received and felt less odd each subsequent time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is an important point. My DW has given me a hard time for not initiating sex, and seems oblivious to the fact that she sends out "don't touch me" vibes a lot of the time, whether intentionally or no. If you're having some issues, explicit communication, while awkward, is one way to move the ball forward.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would also add that once we reignited the intimacy in our relationship, other issues were much easier to address. I think you owe it to yourself to at least try.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. I appreciate a DH's point of view. I'm not optimistic that it will work, but it's worth a try.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: At least if you try, you know you made the effort and know that the situation is what it is. With limited knowledge, my guess is that you two are not well matched. The sex ending with the marriage is not a good sign.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DH again, it is a weird sign unless there are other explanations. Perhaps counseling would help.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is weird. Things were pretty good in the initial stages of our relationship. Then literally nothing on our wedding night or our entire honeymoon and then it was down to once a month or so - eventually turning into once or twice a year. He says he has no idea why and that he still finds me sexy and beautiful. Sort of hard to believe that, but he is sincere. He is definitely not cheating.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I can't believe this thread has gone on this long and not one poster has diagnosed your dh as gay. Gay Uncle must be on vacation;)
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I was expecting that too or cheating. I'd almost feel better if he was gay. At least I wouldn't take it as a personal rejection that way. He's not though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 03:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] That does it. I'm going rogue. 14 replies
- oh please! Being a feminist does NOT mean you have to support every female politician that comes along, especially one who is vehemently anti-choice and who has relied almost entirely on her sex appeal to succeed in her career. She's gross in about a hundred different ways and I hope to God that the GOP chooses her as their 2012 candidate....
Talk : : November 17, 2009
-
If I have to withstand one more SP media blitz, i think i'll off myself.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it seems to be backfiring this time around. she can fake "sell" all the books she wants but if the republican party calls her a liar and an opportunist, she won't be doing anything but shooting moose from a helicopter in 2012.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Me too. Hey now we have got a herd going. Yeehaw.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hell I'm not only going rouge I'm going mascara and push up bra, too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Then I'm going rouge.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sarah Palin is a self-made woman who, like her or hate her, has been quite successful. IMO, the hostility to her is shamefully class-based and feminists, in particular, ought to be livid about how she has been treated by the media.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh, come on, she makes most of her own problems.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She's only successful because there are so many other dimwits out there. I voted for HILLARY, so don't call me out on the feminist thing. I want a woman with a brain and some sense not just a woman. The class argument is silly~ if we can elect a black man we can elect a hick if and when one deserves it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She's a self made, self destruct machine. And a quitter.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh please. She's a dimwit. It's actually embarrassing to me as a woman that she is a woman...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTA, and to support any inch of her political careerist aspirations, in light of the fact that she has limited intellect is horrific
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
self-made? john mccain "made" her and now she craps on his campaign managers, outright lying about them to make herself look good. she quits as gov because she knows she will be booted out blogo-style when her all her corrupt dealings come to light and packages this as more "rogue" behavior. i'm a feminist and i'm ashamed of her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she quit as gov because she could never be re-elected. her approval ratings were in the toilet. alaskans hate her for dumping them once she was on the national stage. in over her head doesn't even begin to describe her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oh please! Being a feminist does NOT mean you have to support every female politician that comes along, especially one who is vehemently anti-choice and who has relied almost entirely on her sex appeal to succeed in her career. She's gross in about a hundred different ways and I hope to God that the GOP chooses her as their 2012 candidate.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Do you honestly think you're a good mom? Do you honestly think DH is a good dad? Ar... 32 replies
- our dd. He's still amazed I have so much patience with her but not w/him. Which brings me to the good wife part. I am so so on the wife part. He is definitely a better husband than I am a wife. If I was getting triple the amount of sex that I've been getting for the last 13 years I could be a WWAAAAYYY better wife....
Talk : : November 17, 2009
Do you honestly think you're a good mom? Do you honestly think DH is a good dad? Are you a good wife? Is he a good husband? (sorry to be so conventional- those with partners, so's, etc, feel free to chime in as appropriate)
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 11:22 AM [ Flag ]I think I am a good mom and I truly do my best whole heartedly, I just need to let the house work go a little and spend more time on the floor playing like dh does. However, dh is a good father but needs to have more patience. I am not a good wife its all about the kids and dh is not a great husband, not much of a relationship there anymore...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We are both very good parents. I think we are good friends but not ideal as spouses.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I'm a god mom, dh is a good dad and husband. I don't think I'm such a great wife and want to be a better one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto, except "good" mom...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: I'm a psychologist, wonder if that was a Freudian slip? Ha! Just kidding.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am a good mom. There is a little room for improvement - DH is a great dad. The only thing I question is that he is not into pda's - so dc don't see us hugging, kissing very often and I wonder how that will affect them as spouses. I'm a good wife too. DH has room for growth in the husband department.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm a good mom, but DH is a GREAT dad. He really gets how they think and he has unending patience. We both try very hard to be good spouses. It takes more work than I thought it would, but others have told us that they think we have a wonderful partnership.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmm.. Good is a relative term and depending on one's value system may mean completely diff. things. Having said that, I think I am a really good mom and DH agrees, and an OK to good wife. DH is a decent husband though definitely room for improvement, and a bad dad. Again, I think it depends on the value system and what one would define as a good dad, but my reasons for saying so are a) he has very limited time available but the one he has he does not want to spend with kids. Rather dump them on me, or put in front of tv, etc. b) Not involved with school choices/decisions, HW, doc. visits, enrichment, childcare decisions, etc. c) tends to be too strict and at times unreasonable, d) the time that he spends with kids is never quality time like reading a book, or going to a museum, but always just rough play like scaring them, running around, etc. In his defense, he is a surgeon and has awful hours, tired, and stressed, never argues with my decisions and supports me in them, and always does things for the kids and family that only he can do and I couldn't.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I'm a good mom (even though I'm dammed on this board because I WOH). I don't really love getting on the floor and playing with a toddler but I read to dc a ton, don't yell and am very affectionate. DH is terrific at on-the-floor playing but can be forgetful in the basic care department. I think DH and I could both use some work in the spouse department - between work and db, we've let the relationship fray a bit.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]honestly? This is UB. I am a gorgeous, wealthy, thin mother of two perfect children who scored 99x3 and go to both a TT and Anderson.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I believe I am a good Mom and wife now that I'm not working. Before I was sort of a disaster, as in ds and dh always took second place to my work.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, I feel like a crappy, overtired, snappy mom. DH is awesome, though. I am an ok wife, just too tired to put in any effort. He is a great husband.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Hi, Me!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks! I was worried since I seem to be the only one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i'm as good a mom as i can be, so that's enough. ditto with dd's father. we are good partners because we work hard at it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sn kid, it's hard and I wished I was a better mom, I try my best though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DH is a great amazing dad, a horrible husband, I'm a good mom, I would be a better wife if he were better
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I am a really good mom. DH loves DC a lot, but is not the greatest father. It's been a huge surprise to me that he's not. He wanted DC way more than I did, but he's basically absent.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^oops - forgot the second part. I think I am a good wife. DH is a better husband than father. He used to be the best husband in the world, but not as much anymore. He is really good at a lot of things though (helping, being honest and loyal).
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just try and do my very best and then try and be happy with that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am an amazing mom. I'm shocked at how good I am. I am very patient (surprising, since I've always been an impatient person). I'm not just "fun", I'm also substantively there, and good at setting limits, which is also surprising. I think I'm better at being a mom than anything else. DH is an ok dad. Better than some, not as good as others. He's impatient and rigid, and resentful of the time he has to give up, but does end up being around way more than other dads. I'm a bad wife, but only because DH is such an awful husband. We should have just stayed best friends (except then we wouldn't have DC, whom I love more than I could have ever imagined).
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are a peach!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow-I can never describe myself on such a pedestal
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're either ON drugs or you should be. Yikes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is really a frightening response.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Freak
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 08:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How is this post any different than any of the others, except that she thinks she's an "amazing" mom instead of just good or ok?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think overall I am a great mom, but I have my bad days where I know I could do better. I told myself when I became a mom that I would make mistakes and could never be perfect and have just tried to be a good mom. My dh, who is a absolutely wonderful father, was shocked at how much of a good mom I was when we had our dd. He's still amazed I have so much patience with her but not w/him. Which brings me to the good wife part. I am so so on the wife part. He is definitely a better husband than I am a wife. If I was getting triple the amount of sex that I've been getting for the last 13 years I could be a WWAAAAYYY better wife.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I'm a good mom overall, but I could be better if I didn't so much tension w/ dh. We really clash on a lot of parenting approaches, and it's souring our relationship. In my eyes DH is not a great father-- impatient, yells, swats, etc.-- and yet I know he really loves dcs and would give the world for them. I am on OK wife (would be better if DH weren't so verbally abusive) DH is part the time sweet and thoughtful, and sometimes a real jerk (he has anger management issues). Sigh--just reread what I wrote and it sounded kinda sad, huh?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're not alone. I could've written this.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is exactly me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think am a great Mom for my dc but I know am hardly perfect. I am lucky to have the time to really be able to be what I consider the best Mom for my family. I also think dh is great Dad and we are very different but I think we balance each other as parents well and give dc different things that will only be the her benefit. As for the dw and dh part we are doing the best we can. I know that I am not give dh everything he needs and I recognize that to him. We agree that we are in this together and we are going to work at it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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