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[+] parents who co-sleep with their dc -- what are the pluses and minuses? why did you ch... 7 replies
- OP here: if you co-slept, how old was your dc when you stopped co-sleeping?...
Talk : : November 15, 2009
parents who co-sleep with their dc -- what are the pluses and minuses? why did you choose to do so?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.15.09, 10:45 AM [ Flag ]Plus: it was easier re: breastfeeding-- you just have to role over at night. Minus: Hard to get these little squirmy bodies out of the bed once you bring them in.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP here: if you co-slept, how old was your dc when you stopped co-sleeping?
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]17 months. she decided that it was time. she wouldn't settle in our bed and we put up a pack and play. she took to it in minutes. (no CIO, etc.) before that she wanted to sleep next to me. it actually was days after weaning that she stopped. I can't imagine BF without cosleeping, actually. would be really really hard at night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: I should mention that if she wakes in the night i still bring her to bed with us, but that's only happened twice in the last month. I think that's normal amounts...
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
co-slept half the night when dc would wake up in wee hours, cry and i was too tired to deal with it. older dc is now 4.6, sometimes crawls into our bed in the early hours, but mostly doesn't. they've always rotated and slept horizontal so that is a big pain.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is one of those things that falls under the "There is not a right or wrong, it is just what you can live with" rule.
[ Reply | Options ]11.15.09, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] new to this. if you co-sleep with db when, where, and how frequently do you have sex ... 6 replies
Talk : : November 13, 2009
new to this. if you co-sleep with db when, where, and how frequently do you have sex with dh?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.13.09, 07:33 PM [ Flag ]about 1x/week
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 07:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sex is easy with a newborn because they sleep so much - put db somewhere safe (moses basket, stroller, on a blanket on the floor) - and you are good to go. It is much harder when they can open the door (get a lock and a new video)... having babies is so romantic!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 07:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. We often co-slept with dd but even when we didn't we had her crib in our room for the first year anyway but it didn't matter bc she slept so often. Even if she awoke and happened to look at us she didn't know what was going on at 6 months. If she was in our bed we would do it against the wall, bent over the bed, or take it out to the living room. It was great. Now at 3 she caught us and asked "what were you doing to mommy?" ugh.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmm. A little tmi for me...ha ha
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lol. Sorry about that, I just miss those days.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
when they are asleep, in other rooms, 1X week
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 10:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] No flames please - I have a demanding job, work 10-14 hours a day. I have no choice a... 14 replies
- Have you considered co-sleeping? I think there definitely is bonding going on when they can smell your scent all night. My husband works a ton and loves to sleep with our young kids for this reason....
Talk : : November 13, 2009
No flames please - I have a demanding job, work 10-14 hours a day. I have no choice as I'm the breadwinner. Most days, I see my 1 yr old for 20-40 minutes/day. While I stayed at home with him for the first 6 months, I don't feel like I'm bonding enough with dc. How do you bond with your 1 yr old?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.13.09, 09:24 AM [ Flag ]Let your child take the lead. My dd will walk around and bring us books she wants to read, toys she wants to play. Just sit on the floor and let her come to you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is there any way you can modify your schedule? Come home for lunch? Go into work late/come home early one day a week? Is your partner home with the child or at least have a more flexible schedule?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Another WOHM here so you'll get no flames from me. In my own experience, the interaction with a 1 yr old tends to still be very labour/care intensive (feeding, cleaning, diapering etc) so actual bonding opportunities are limited even if you are there all day long. Not to say that you don't have bonding moments during routine care of your child but it's not like the type of moments you will have when your child is older. I would just make the most of the 20-40 mins you DO have with your child and realize there will be times in the future to continue to cement your relationship. This is the reality of your current situation so no use in beating yourself up about it. Like many things, parenting is a marathon... not a sprint. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you can't bond with your child, i'm sorry to say, if you only see him for 20-40 minutes a day. you're not the one who provides nurturing, security, care or even fun, sad to say. it's a reality you have to accept. if you can't accept it, then change your demanding work life very soon. you say you're the breadwinner - does your dh stay home and raise ds? in a way, that is not so bad as they'll have a special bond, but if a caregiver is with ds, i don't know what to say. i couldn't do it that way.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how is the view from way up there?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
develop a special hello and goodbye routine, maybe with a song.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You do what you can and make sure that the time you do have you are totally present (no blacberrying, etc. on the side). You do the best you can and be as consistent as possible in terms of the time of day you do spend w/ dc. I know: it's really hard to be a full-time working mom. I feel for you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ditto. When DC gets older, you guys can do things like video chatting, phone calls, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Can you adjust your schedule or your DS's so that you have more time during the week? My workday + commute is also around 12 hours. My DC have always stayed up until 8/9pm, so we have time together in the evenings. (They took a later afternoon nap when they were younger, we had them in afternoon preschool and kindergarten so they didn't have to get up early in the morning.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]make sure whoever is doing the caregiving during the day takes care of all the "dirty work" so that you can spend the entire 20 - 40 minutes reading, playing, singing or whatever. I assume you make the most of the weekends?
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not sure. I see DS for four hours a day and I can't figure this out. He seems perfectly content to play by himself. I try to engage him as much as I could but he loves independent play.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you considered co-sleeping? I think there definitely is bonding going on when they can smell your scent all night. My husband works a ton and loves to sleep with our young kids for this reason.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 11:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My 18 mo ADORES my dh right now. He's all play and fun- I'm the boring one who stays at home and makes lunch and changes diapers. There will be phases when you will be the person he loves the most, just wait.
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]would co sleeping work for you? or bring him in the bed at 4-5 am? helps a lot with my kids
[ Reply | Options ]11.13.09, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Toddler moms: twin bed or toddler bed? And why? Thanks! 6 replies
- We got a crib that converts to a toddler bed and are expecting #2, by the time #1 outgrows the toddler bed, #2 will outgrow the co-sleeper and then we can move #1 on to a twin bed, and #2 into a crib. Musical beds!...
Talk : : November 09, 2009
Toddler moms: twin bed or toddler bed? And why? Thanks!
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.09.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag ]Toddler beds are a waste of money. Get a twin bed from the start - even if you want to just put it on the floor for a little while. Signed, Mom who wasted money on a toddler bed my toddler outgrew in less than a year!
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]twin bed. you can get in to snuggle and read books. they are too big for the toddler bed in a year anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]twin with a siderail. I've had both and the twin is much better, more practical and more comfortable.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: thanks! It seemed like a waste of money...buying a twin bed today!
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the only reason IMO to get a toddler bed is space contstraints - like trying to fit 2 beds in a smaller room or if dc's room is really small. well, one last reason. if your dc stayed in crib until a later age and is already potty trained and you think that within another year you could night train - then maybe it's worth keeping crib mattress and spending as little as possible on a bed. that way once dc is totally night trained you can get a good mattress and bed and not worry about bed wetting.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We got a crib that converts to a toddler bed and are expecting #2, by the time #1 outgrows the toddler bed, #2 will outgrow the co-sleeper and then we can move #1 on to a twin bed, and #2 into a crib. Musical beds!
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 7 week old db. I know it's too early for any sleep training (please no flames) but a... 18 replies
Talk : : November 07, 2009
7 week old db. I know it's too early for any sleep training (please no flames) but any ideas on what you used to get your dc to bed at this age? I've had him in a little co-sleeper that goes in the bed but his little noises keep me up at night. He will stay in his crib for about 20 minutes before crying. I go in and soothe him but wondering if there is a better way? First time mom...
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.07.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag ]Swaddle the heck out of him. a tight swaddle (we called it a baby straight jacket) is the best. forget the expensive swaddle blankets, a regular receiving blanket that you probably have sevarl of from showers works just fine. google how to swaddle my baby. also watch your baby for signs that they are really asleep, every baby is different, but as an example, our DD she let out a loud sigh when she was *really* asleep and we could then put her down without waking her.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Read the New Contented Little Baby by, I think, Gina Ford.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is really good, that book.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That book saved my life.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 04:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That book is what we used to get our son, who was colicky, on a sleep routine. Now he's 8-months old and sleeps 12 hours a night and is a great napper during the day. Please buy it. It changed our lives!
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Weissbluth.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
at that point DD would only sleep soundly on our chests...and yes, you are right, DH and I really didn't get much rest at all. luckily my mom was around for a few weeks and there were nights that she offered to take DD so that we could at least get a few hours of rest...sorry, no help here...just sympathy...
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We used a sleepsack (a swaddle/blanket thing that had velcro closures) because using regular blankets to swaddle didn't work - too loose, would fall apart, etc. The tight and secure swaddle from the sleepsack was great. Also, we used a Fisher Price swing that went side-to-side - baby loved that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]swing, carseat, swaddle, nurse even if it's just for soothing (if bf). two of my dc are terrible sleepers and at that age I simply accepted getting minimal sleep at night, then had family or hired help in the day. i know it seems like forever, but their sleep cycles truly do mature and change in several week intervals for the first few months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]FWIW, my db HATED being swaddled - it worked for maybe a week, then db would wiggle ad cry and did much better w/o the swaddle. I read the Weissbluth book and found it very helpful. GL
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]try swaddling very tightly. but if you have not done it to date, it might not work for you. and some babies do not care for it. it is magic with others. bf to sleep if you can. and accept that you are going to get very little sleep for a few more months. It will get better though. give it time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]use earplugs if db is sleeping right next to you. you'll hear the cries but not every sound
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Thanks everyone! I am swaddling. I used the kiddopotamus ones b/c I cannot get the blankets to stay on the big guy (he is a big and strong baby for his age). I laid down with him tonight and he went to sleep and I had to go in a few times to put his pacifier in when it fell out and he was crying, but now he's sleeping soundly. Hopefully I can move him to the crib with no problems. Yikes! He hates the crib right now.
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I didn't discover the Gina Ford book until my ds was 5 months old. Now I'm expecting again and reading the book from the beginning--she warns about setting up routines that will pretty much guarantee that you will not get any sleep for the next year. Letting baby fall asleep with you and using paci to get the baby to sleep are two big no-nos. I know they work for right now, but I'm telling you--it would be worth it now to set up how you intend to go forward rather than having to undo habits that do not encourage good sleep habits for down the road. No judgements here, just speaking from the months and months of hell I lived through!
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 04:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
too early for sleep training, yes. we also swaddled. make it like a straitjacket and all should be good. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.07.09, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is the the time to officially start to sleep train actually six weeks depending on his weight. Hint: bath, bottle/breast, swaddle, put in bed awake it takes three days of consistency to break a previous habit.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 03:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You might want to try putting something with your scent on it in the crib. I never swaddled my daughter, she liked to turn over on her side. I have heard from parents who used paci's that every time they fell out the child would wake up. I never used a paci so I don't know if that would have happened with my dd. An earlier poster said putting them to sleep awake and I totally agree with that. It helps them to learn how to put themselves to sleep. I would nurse until almost asleep but still awake and then put them down in the crib in a dark room.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had this problem with both DCs- they would only sleep sitting up or on me. They spent the first 3 months sleeping strapped in the bouncy seat or the car seat. I felt terrible about it at the time, but since I believe it was probably related to digestive issues it was the only way for them to feel comfortable.
[ Reply | Options ]11.09.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My parents, who live overseas, are bugging me about bringing DD to visit. If I go ne... 28 replies
- I second the benadryl, that and traveling close to bedtime. If you co-sleep, travel with a child is much, much easier and you don't have to worry about lugging around or having any gear with you. Most rental companies also rent car seats. As far as stairs go, don't let your dd run around without supervision and...
Talk : : November 05, 2009
My parents, who live overseas, are bugging me about bringing DD to visit. If I go next summer she'll be 18 months. Any tips on how to get through a really long international flight? Is it doable or should I hold off until she is older? Thanks!
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.05.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag ]you are so nice. my parents are also overseas, but i make them come here!
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 12:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They've already see DD twice, so they're laying on the guilt trip.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Where overseas? We've been flying from NYC to west coast since dd was about 8 weeks old and it's manageable.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Way, way overseas. Literally the otherside of the planet.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The flight is the least of your problems. The bigger issue is making sre that your parents are set up for a toddler - bed, gates, car seat, etc. We went overseas when dc was that age adn rented an apartment in a small town and there was nowhere to buy or rent things like PnP or a gate for the stairs, etc. adn it made the trip a bit hard.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My problem is my parents will probably buy out the closest baby store LOL. They live in an apartment, thank goodness, so no gates or stairs to worry about. I didn't even think about car seat. Ack.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np The airlines generally take your car seat and stroller for free, does not count as luggage, even if you don't buy DC a seat.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: yes, you can take a car seat with you. i did not bc we had a marathon which is huge and i knew our rental car would be tiny and was worried that it would not fit. thankfully car rental co provided a car seat. think about windows and balconies, electrical outlets, kitchens, cabinets, etc. it's easy to think that you can just "watch" dc all the time, until you realize how exhausting it can be wo a modicum of child safety stuff.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It's doable (with a little Benadryl). Try to book a flight that falls around DD's sleeptime and if you can afford it, buy an extra seat.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I second the benadryl, that and traveling close to bedtime. If you co-sleep, travel with a child is much, much easier and you don't have to worry about lugging around or having any gear with you. Most rental companies also rent car seats. As far as stairs go, don't let your dd run around without supervision and let her know stairs are off limits.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Idiots, Benadryl is a drug. Why the hell would you sedate your healthy baby? Honestly, when I hear people casually talking about dosing their children with Benadryl, I wish I could have them arrested. If travel is this much of an ordeal for you, don't go.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ita. Don't drug your kids. Stay home if they can't handle the flight. That's just sick.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
go now. it's not bad at all.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We lived in the UK until dd was 2.6. I flew to the west coast with her many times--often alone. No problem.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My daughter has been traveling overseas with twin boys since they were 4-5 months old, at least twice a year. I've flown with them (by myself) once. It's a lot of work, but the flight does end. Number one piece of advice: get her her own seat and do everything you can to get a bulkhead seat. Bring plenty of finger food, and other little, not noisy stuff she likes. Put her in pjs and she'll sleep on the way over. Try to get a later flight for return. Make sure your parents can really help when you get there. And don't let other passengers make you feel bad if she's noisy, etc., as long as you're trying. It will only get worse if you're uncomfortable. That's just the way it goes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]excellent post. ita. it's doable, but you have to be organized. i wouldn't use benadryl unless you know for sure it will make your DD sleep. sometimes it has the opposite effect.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we did just the opposite and it always worked out fine. no noise at all, no food or games, just a book and us. just goes to show you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 02:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That reminds me of a time I got on the plane with my 3m dd and a man looked at us, groaned, and rolled his eyes. She slept the whole trip. I really wanted to smack him and "accidently" stepped on his feet getting off, instead I just blocked the isle and took a very, very long time to disembark.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
my mom lives in taiwan and has been to nyc twice to see DD (once at birth and second time in may). she tried to convince me to take DD to taiwan alone this past summer, but i strongly vetoed the idea. i think she was disappointed, but there was no way i could've done it alone. now we have tickets to visit during holidays, and DH will be with us. yay!
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 02:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Please let me know how it goes, parents are in HK so same flight time
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 05:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
depends on your budget. we fly over 100k miles/yr as a family. so I do this alot. heres my 2 cents FWIW: first piece of advice would be go business class, you get much more room, and the FA's are literally there at your beck and call. if thats not an option, buy two coach seats. but DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT fly with an 18month old as a lapchild. 6 hrs is one thing. I did it once with an 11 month old when my upgrade to business didnt go through, and I wanted to shoot myself. 18 mo is a hard age. try to get the bulkhead. bring lots of snacks in ziplocs. bring lots of little toys (a plastic cup works as a toy, as does a colorful piece of paper. but be armed with lots of things to keep her intrest). if she likes sesamestreet (or something like that) invest in a portable dvdplayer. check out flyertalk.com, they have a "flying with kids" subforum.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 04:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks for the tips! If you think 18m will be a bad age would you go earlier or later?
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, I have 2 kids. one is now 4, the other is 15 months. so its not like I can tell you after doing htis for 20 yrs and looking back with 20/20 vision. but IMO, before 11 months, they are easy on the plane. sit on your lap, are enthrlled by peekaboo or a cellphone, or a bottle. once they start really crawling and getting around, the 12-~22 mo stage is the hardest, because they want to move, but dont understand the concept of "time out" or "discipline" (although my 15 mo maes the cutest face when you yell "NO" and occasionally listens). once they are ~2 and can comprehend what is going on, it gets easier. but I dont think its worth pushing off an intl trip for 6 months rather than dealing with 18 tough hours. just buy two seats, and youll be ok. bring ltos of toys and food. and really, visit flyertalk. youll find lots of great advice there.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks again. DD is already 26 pounds, so not buying a seat was never an option lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]:). I hear u. mine are hefty lil ones as well. car seat: to bring or not to bring. that is a big question. I say: if your parents can provide u with one at your destination, or if you are in coach and are worried about carryon limits, skip it. but many people will disagree with me--they say its great for keeping a kid in place and for having them fall asleep. my kids dont really fall asleep in car seats, so i find bringing it incredibly cumbersome (esp while travelng alone)
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and I highly, highly recommend the quinny zap (3 wheel, not 4 wheel. try ebay. buy buy baby only has 4 wheel afaik). best baby investment I EVER MADE. folds up into a shoulder bag, I put it over my shoulder and throw it in the overhead. try doing THAT with a bugaboo. (*I have. it takes alot of coercing sweet-talkng and begging to get it on board. and it only works 50% of the time)
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and PS. remember. you are buying her a seat. she has every right to be on that plane. yes, you have to be considerate of others, but when the guy to your right groans about sitting next to a 2 yr old, just ignore it. when some guy in front of you gets pissed because her toy hit is seat, apologize and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. you bought her seat. she has evey right to be there and be human. sometimes I have to sit next to fat people, smelly people, on the verge of drunk people, and yapping blackberry people. and occasionally, fall asleep and land your head on my shoulder even tough you never met me and proceed to snore people. if you dont like it, take a private plane. just remember that, it will keep your stress level down many notches.
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks so much!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.05.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] db is 10 weeks and up until now the pregnancy weight was rolling off ... then i plate... 24 replies
- np Can't wait for the fat to move back to my butt, pregnancy/breastfeeding gives me flat, wide butt syndrome - took 18 months for my hormones to shift "back" (tee hee) last time around (I was bf and co-sleeping though - got my period and my butt around the same time)....
Talk : : November 04, 2009
db is 10 weeks and up until now the pregnancy weight was rolling off ... then i plateaued and now have gained back some weight. went from 10lbs to lose to 15 now with SIL's wedding 3 weeks away.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.04.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag ]Did you stop breast feeding recently? I have heard that could cause a weight gain increase.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]nope, still exclusively breastfeeding.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Start running. I ran a half marathon 8 mos after my babies were born. It gave me a goal to get my bum out the door and do it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's an idea. i have been taking daily walks with db but i could alternate jogging intervals, right?
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly. If you can splurge, get a heart rate monitor to see how many cals you're actually burning.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i used to have one ... i think i will get a new one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
that's pretty common. I gained weight nursing too, contrary to popular belief. The first stuff falls off quickly, the rest settles in for the long haul. I also found that my waist line expanded as all the lbs. seemed to shift to my middle a few weeks after delivery.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ it depends on where you get fat though. For some women it moves to their waist, for others it moves to their butt and thighs. Everyone's body seems to have a preference as to where it wants to store the weight.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Can't wait for the fat to move back to my butt, pregnancy/breastfeeding gives me flat, wide butt syndrome - took 18 months for my hormones to shift "back" (tee hee) last time around (I was bf and co-sleeping though - got my period and my butt around the same time).
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
nooooooo! say it ain't so!!!! dh's family is super body conscious :(
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]if you care that much about what they think, tell them you have a thyroid problem. It's common after pregnancies and it makes it much harder to lose the weight.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]dh won't let that fly and then i will get their sympathy, which might actually be worse.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ugh, making up a medical condidtion to have to justfiy baby weight 3 months after giving birth? Psycho people!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You're 10 weeks post partum, will be 3 months post partum at teh wedding. Give yourself a berak!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i know i should, just worried b/c suddenly gaining weight. :(
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I put on a few pounds somewhere around there- I think the stress of the first couple of months of parenting also contributes to the weight gain. I bet with some focus on what you're eating (cut out junk) and ramping up the exercise you'll drop another 5 in the next few weeks, at the very least 3-
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i hope so. i will not touch anymore leftover halloween candy, that's for sure! thanks everyone!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^oops, meant to say the early stress contributed to weight loss-
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wear something that fits well and have a great time. People know you recently delivered and will be cutting you a lot of slack. Everyone will be looking at the bride anyway, so don't be self-conscious
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i do have some nice outfits (it is a long weekend over thanksgiving), i just feel like i look so wide, kwim? and the wedding is only immediate family so it will be a small affair. i plan on waving db in everyone's face to distract them ;)
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, the baby is a great distraction. Pack your cutest outfits, know you look good no matter how wide you still feel, and plan to knock them all out with your fitness at the next get-together
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I hit a plateau too and went a few months without loosing the last 10 lbs. Then I really tried to loose weight for two months straight.. working out and watching what I ate and it all came off.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks! i will try to be more disciplined.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How long did you breastfeed? 100 replies
- np: do people not realize that when an older child still BF, it's not an all day long, every 3 hours kind of thing. they might nurse in the AM and at bedtime, maybe before a nap, maybe in the middle of the night if they co-sleep, maybe if they're hurt or sick. when they are not with mom, then they don't. not like mom has to show up at preschool bc dc needs to eat!...
Talk : : November 03, 2009
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5 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]13.5 months
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 02:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
17 months. I would have done it longer, but she weaned herself. I cried. I miss our time but we are slowly building new things to replace the closeness.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]2.5 yrs with ds and still going with dd at 3.4! (only at night or when sick)
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]2 weeks -- no milk and no clue (first dd)
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]26 months. I think she'd still be nursing if I would let her!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]26 months. (And at the end only at night.) But I think my DD would still be nursing if I would let her!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
8.5 months. Glad I did it but didn't get the "high" most women talk about.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Didn't
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just short of six months. Didn't hate it, didn't love it, but at 6mos enough was enough!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]5.5 months with first. 6wks exclusively with 2nd and ended at 3 mos.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]about six months -- had low milk supply (even with fastidious pumping, etc.)
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]13 months w #1; #2 is almost 13 months and we're still going strong. stopped pumping by 12 months w both though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]2yrs10mos
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]jeSUS
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good for you!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
22 mos.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 02:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
16 months with #1, still going with 5mo but am will quit at 12mo instead of letting him self-wean.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4 month
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4 months
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4 months (pumped exclusively and hated it). Expecting #2 and will try to make it to 3 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4.5 years
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]seriously? is this multiple children?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, one. friend did the same thing with her one, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lots of people do lots of ridiculous things but does not make it alright
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i didn't say it was alright, although i can't imagine that you are the arbiter of "alright". i said it was accurate, serious and one child.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lie
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not a lie. what is wrong with you people.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You don't think that's a bit much?? To have a grown kid latched onto you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]apparently i didn't , but remind me again, how does my choice concern you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what in the hell is wrong with you? 4 and half years? How did DC go to school? What are you going to do about college
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]nothing. yes. somehow she broke away. that's in another 10 years, so we'll worry about it then.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: do people not realize that when an older child still BF, it's not an all day long, every 3 hours kind of thing. they might nurse in the AM and at bedtime, maybe before a nap, maybe in the middle of the night if they co-sleep, maybe if they're hurt or sick. when they are not with mom, then they don't. not like mom has to show up at preschool bc dc needs to eat!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: right, it is a bonding/cuddling thing at that age. my sister breastfed my niece until she was 3 but (unless she was sick) it was usually only in the evening (once a day).
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]for us it was first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
that is so dysfunctional. where to even begin.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]begin by yanking your head out of the gutter and understanding that this isn't uncommon.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]gotta love that people think it's perfectly "functional" to let a db cry for hours in order to learn to self soothe and yet disfunctional to allow them to self wean.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]excellent point.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np lololol. A *4 yo* is NOT a "db".
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What is your pediatrician's take on this?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she wasn't worried a bit about it. said that the child would wean herself when she was ready. (and nursing is not an illness, btw)
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so you would have bfed her till 8 if she didn't self wean like that lady overseas?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
gross
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe she thought it would help the kid get a 99.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
3.5 years - but this is with 2 DCs. Still bfing when I became pregnant with second DB. Quit nursing #1 a month before #2 was born. #2 nursed until he was 18 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how long did it take to wean?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]about a month
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1-9 mths, #2-16 mths, #3-2 yrs.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]#1, 2yrs, will probably do 18mo-2yrs with #2.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]going on 19 months now
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]With #1, 10 mos (added formula at 9 mos, though). #2 is 9 mos now and I am still nursing, hoping to get to about 12 mos
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1st- 9mos, but only ebf for a few mos. #2- 1 year, ebf. EBF was tough, but totally worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]DC #1 for 2 years, 7 months; DC #2 still going at 2 years, 6 months and no end in sight!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]7 months with #1, 2 weeks and counting with #2
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]2 days and gave up
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]13mo and trying to wean
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]22 months, but quit pumping after 7 months and just breastfed morning and night. Does that count as breastfeeding or not? It didn't feel like much, though ds loved it (and I did too until the last couple of months).
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I count it when I saw how long I bf'd (13 months) because the last month kids used sippy during the day along with solid food and only nursed morning and night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1: 14 months ebf (but last 2 months were just 2x/day for about 5 min); #2: 6 months ebf, still going strong, will probably start weaning at 11-12 months
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]7 months. I quit when he started getting teeth
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]owwww
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]doesn't have to be Owww. oyu jsut train them not to bite...and its also not as bad as it sounds. more shocking than painful. each new tooth takes a day or two to adjust the latch then all is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]then why did OR quit?
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]because she didn't know that there are ways to prevent it, i assume, or because that was the goal she had in mind when she started. I say so from experience. one DD, about 12 teeth
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm the one who posted that I quit when he started getting teeth. I didn't know there was a way to work around that and had nobody to give me advice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wouldn't say that being bitten is more "surprising" than "painful". My DD bit me a couple of times, and each time, it was painful, NOT surprising. Having said that, it was never as much a problem as I had anticipated, after all, all the teeth didn't come out at once AND they "bite" with their gums once in a while too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1 2.3 years (at that point it was 5 minutes before bed). #1 is 15mo and still bfing 3 times a day
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ with both ebf for 6mo, then a mix of bf and formula
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
8.5 months
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]only 3 months and was supplementing at the same time. DB was in nicu and I had supply problems.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
exclusively breastfed twins, one self-weaned at 13months and the other at 16months. honestly, hardest thing i've ever done in my life when they were between 6-9 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Good for you!! I EBF my twins too. Had a singleton first and knew I could do it. The hardest part was fighting to get bf'ing established with them since pedi did not have confidence that any woman is capable of bf'ing twins. Like you, it got super hard again after I introduced solids at about 7 months. Nearing 13 months now and they only nurse in the evening before bed now.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 02:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: So sad how the capabilities of our bodies is questioned so much in this day and age. What did the pediatrician think happened to twins in the past? Why do you think we have two breasts? Good for you though for standing your ground!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
22 months. Went back to work at 3.5 months, pumped until 1 year, then continued to BF whenever with dc after switching to cow's milk.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]7 weeks -- was treated for thrush twice in that time. during the 4 weeks of thrush treatment, I had to pump - on low, it took forever! - and feed from bottles, since the thrush made it feel as if glass shards were tearing up my breasts. Both times, thrush only went away for a day before coming back. Met with lactation consultant and my dr, and tried everything, so when thrush came back a third time at week 7, we switched to formula. Weeks and weeks of crying in pain every time I pumped/fed had become unbearable, and tore dh apart too. The pain was worse than childbirth -- imagine someone shearing off your breast with a shard of glass and you'll understand. I'd planned to bf for 6 mos, fwiw.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ugh that sounds awful. Very impressed that you stuck with it for so long. Good for you!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]6 weeks. Also derailed on the BF front from thrush, at about 2.5 weeks when I was finally getting the hang of it with my boy who just never liked sucking anything it turned out (had trouble with bottles with him as well)! it took us over a month to get rid of his thrush. The pain was so terrible, and the pump never really let me get my supply established.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How does DC self wean? Does he just wake up one day and decide not to nurse? I would really like for that to happen!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 02:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is exactly what happened with my dd at 8.5 months. i nursed her before bed one night, like always, but in the morning she wouldn't nurse. wouldn't open up her mouth for it. i kept trying until she started to cry, so i gave her a bottle. and that was the end of breast feeding!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: when babies do that so young, it is usually considered a nursing strike rather than early weaning. but since most moms do give some bottles already, they usually end up switching over to bottle feeding. child led weaning usually happens gradually. as a toddler gets more active, he/she doesn't want to sit still or stop playing to nurse and the length and frequency diminish. some go down to 1-2 sessions and then keep those for a really long time. very fwe moms do a true child led weaning though - most do a mom encouraged weaning.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]nnp I agree with you philosophically but I think "nursing strike" is just another arbitrary and self-serving term (even if it serves a cause I agree with). I do find that when most people say their kids "self-weaned" at 6 months, it later comes out that there were some pretty clear reasons WHY they did - ie/ moved out of the bed into the crib.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]IMO, if BM or formula is supposed to be the primary form of nutrition until 12 months, then I don't believe a db will self-wean prior to 12 months if there were no option for a bottle (BM or formula). That is why I consider it a nursing strike. If there were no such thing as a bottle then eventually db would get hungry and nurse again. It is only bc most of us have introduced a bottle (contents irrelevant) that when db refuses to nurse we think oh, now db wants the bottle instead. if db had never had a bottle... so to me, child-led weaning is when db no longer NEEDS to nurse. And I did not allow #1 to self wean and it's unlikely I'll allow #2 - after a year or so, I get kind of tired of the whole BF thing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Two sons, each 12-13 months, 5 days to wean. Ebf-not by my choice, the bottle was shunned.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]27 months and counting, but its only once a day (in the morning when he wakes up) and when he's sick.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me too. I wish it would stop though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
First dd - 25 months, Second dd - 2 yrs 5 mths. Breast fed for a total of 4.5 yrs continuously (had babies 2 years apart).
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow, I think this question was asked a year ago and most people responded with 0-6 months. And now many are nursing until right before the second b-day. A whole generation of babies close to their moms.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so sweet!
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]um I don't think that has anything to do with it -don't spin this. Just the answers you got today.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 07:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really? My dd is close to her mom and I only bf a few months. Guess what? It means nothing if you do it till 2 or not at all - all children will be close to their moms if their moms give them love. I find it repulsive that you are twisting this for a bfing agenda - and don't deny it
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 07:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there is also a bf mom who thinks that her db will have an advantage aplying to Ivy League schools b/c of bf.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 07:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, those 3 IQ points will make all the difference. It's baloney. I BF bc I could afford a LC and a pump and I have an office to pump. Whatever opportunies I can give DS is not in BM alone.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh gag. I BF, my mom didn't, and we're pretty close. This is just such nonsense.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
13 months
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]8 weeks
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 06:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] breastfeeding moms, i need some support. dd is only 4 days old and already breastfeed... 21 replies
- np. Co-sleeping is a really good way to go. i survived...full-day preschool 3 days a week. I could not co-sleep with the twins but sure wished I could. Not...
- I was a little too nervous to co-sleep, but did have dd in bassinet right next to...10 pm feed? This SAVED me. Also, get a co-sleeper or one of those bed rails so you...as she had serious reflux. We used a co-sleeper and loved it. Evertime someone asks you whether...
Talk : : November 02, 2009
breastfeeding moms, i need some support. dd is only 4 days old and already breastfeeding has me so spent. she's thriving and eating well, i just cannot keep up . i need my sleep. i have a 2 yo and little help. this is our 2nd nite home and she just fell asleep finally (it 1230am) but now i am so wired i cant sleep. tell me it will get easier. with #1 i knew i could sleep the next day away if necessary, but with another kid, i don't know how i will function. getting depressed...thanks for any pearls of wisdom.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.02.09, 09:36 PM [ Flag ]That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Welcome to motherhood; this is only the beginning. Signed Mom of 3
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]one word...........formula
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op not an option right now
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Co-sleep. We did it for the first 2 months.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op ive thought of that but was afraid for safety reasons. did you have one of those cosleeper things?
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. I
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^I'm a light sleeper anyway, and I don't really roll around in my sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np. Co-sleeping is a really good way to go. i survived bf'ing twins with no help and a 4 yr old. however, my 4 yr old went to full-day preschool 3 days a week. I could not co-sleep with the twins but sure wished I could. Not safe with two of them but you will be fine with one. I always co-slept with my oldest. I started with an arms-reach cosleeper but ended up just keeping him in bed with me. He is a great sleeper today and also such a snuggle bug. I love it. You will get through this. It will not last forever. Hang in there and think about sending 2 yo to daycare a few days a week.
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[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 01:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
can dh/family help? if not, can you afford any help? as you know from #1, bfing gets easier, but sleep deprivation does not for a while (unless you get very lucky!). we used the snuggle nest or some such thing in the bed which helped.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 09:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was a little too nervous to co-sleep, but did have dd in bassinet right next to bed. Would just scoop her up ... nurse and put her back in. I think not having to 'get up'/ get out of bed helped me to not wake up too much and be able to fall back asleep.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 10:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]a) it does get easier, b) can hubby do the 10pm feeding so you can sleep from 9-2 before she needs you again? expressed milk or formula?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Firstly, I totally understand. I only have 1 and I can't imagine! Hang in there! Can you pump a bottle during the day and have dh give her the 10 pm feed? This SAVED me. Also, get a co-sleeper or one of those bed rails so you can co-sleep, it's the only way. It does get better! GL!
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I took ambien while I pg. I'd take a half and get back to sleep after bfing. It's safe
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 03:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: thanks everyone! i will pump as soon as i can - at 2 weeks right? and the cosleeping thing is an option. turns out after all my bitching she went a good stretch last nite - from 1230 -5am. good right? i cheated and put her in the car seat but that's ok right?
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, yes and yes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I pumped week one because my son was in the hospital, so if you need to do it, do it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Car seat is fine. My ped recommended it for my dd as she had serious reflux. We used a co-sleeper and loved it. Evertime someone asks you whether you need anything, get in the habit of thinking of something small they can do that you would otherwise do when db is sleeping. I had friends take sibs to the park and one friend used to take my laundry and bring it back done. Let "the village" help you out. HAte to say it, but park sib in front of the tv every once in a while when db is sleeping and grad a quick nap.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 07:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol. it's not that it 'already' has you spent. this is the worst of it. it's going to get easier. just grin and bear it and stumble around for the next two or three weeks.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Very well said! The first few weeks are just awful!!! It will get better. I know people roll their eyes at this, but whenever possible do try to nap whenever they nap. Even an extra couple of hours of snooze time during the day will make a huge difference.
[ Reply | Options ]11.04.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP: god thanks everyone. you have no idea what this support means.
[ Reply | Options ]11.03.09, 09:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone read that site the other day? The poster linked to The "Mother Baby Sleep Lab"... 4 replies
- ^ Sorry, it was the "Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab" don't read a lot of those because I think they already have a thesis when they start and they make their research reflect it. One study says co-sleeping is best and another one says it's not. I use the AAP guidelines when I wonder about baby issues, more than research which is done to prove a specific point. Also it is almost like that autism research where the guy said that the vaccines cause it and his case...
Talk : : November 02, 2009
Anyone read that site the other day? The poster linked to The "Mother Baby Sleep Lab" at Notre Dame? It did not seem like they produced a lot of research. Did I miss something?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.02.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag ]^ Sorry, it was the "Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab" http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't read a lot of those because I think they already have a thesis when they start and they make their research reflect it. One study says co-sleeping is best and another one says it's not. I use the AAP guidelines when I wonder about baby issues, more than research which is done to prove a specific point. Also it is almost like that autism research where the guy said that the vaccines cause it and his case study included less than 100 kids and he showed no data to back up his claim.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, good point about Autism NOT being caused by vaccines. Extreme people have given attachment parenting a bad rap. I am AP but am not anti-vaccine. I also think the point about research out comes being bias is good. There is a difference between a comparison/statistical based study and a mechanism study. Mechanism studies are hard to prove and disprove, e.g. what happens when you mix oxygen and hydrogen under vacuum? = water.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I hope this lab does some studies on Cortisone. I hear all these studies claiming the hormone does this and that and that thing over there too. Non-apposing each other but it would be nice to know why this hormone is so important. The only thing they all seem to come back to is that fetuses are sensitive to it and it has averse effects on their brain. Some claim it causes 14 % of autism cases other say it is related to depression, and another said it was related to 48% schizophrenia cases. I want to know HOW the chemical does this. But they all just say stress goes up so does cortisone and then the baby ends up with problems.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] SLEEP: The "Mother-Baby behavior Sleep Lab" at Notre Dame may be a good place to find... 5 replies
Talk : : November 01, 2009
SLEEP: The "Mother-Baby behavior Sleep Lab" at Notre Dame may be a good place to find studies on CIO and Co-sleeping since they do current research and studies are on-going. Last I knew they were promoting co-sleeping, if possible, based on their research results. http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.01.09, 11:44 AM [ Flag ]This is one of their "big hit" articles: "Goodnight Nobody? 100 Years of Of Medical Misrepresentations of Healthy Infant Sleep Behavior and Arrangements: Why We Never Asked, Is It Safe For Infants To Sleep Alone." http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/aap.html
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I like this quote from the article, "Maximizing infant safety in all sleep contexts is the larger common goal which transcends the value-based disagreements which divide us. "
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No comments from the CIO crowd? Not even about Ferber recanting his method this past year? The best thing about these studies is that they bring in mothers with their babies and actually watch them all night long. The tests are not on mice or rats, but real American moms.
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The article is 31 pages long we need time to get through it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^ from scanning the article it cites other works from lower SIDS claims to more sleep for mom and babe claims. I did not find the anti-CIO part. Or was the lower SIDS rates and less crying during the night the implied anti-CIO bit?
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] we are parents of an 18mo old, have been co-sleeping with him throughout. Now over t... 4 replies
- I am thinking that ds is getting older and a lot more aware of your presence; thus explaining why he stays up now when he wakes up. Do you strongly wish to continue co-sleeping? If not, this may be the sign to transition to crib. Sorry, otherwise, have no suggestions....
Talk : : November 01, 2009
we are parents of an 18mo old, have been co-sleeping with him throughout. Now over the last couple weeks he is having a lot of trouble sleeping thru the night, every third nite wakes up at 1am and stays up for a couple hrs, absolutely kills us. Any recommendations? Are there sleep-coaches available that can help with this?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.01.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag ]I don't know of any, but for a price, I'm sure there are.
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How many times a day does he nap? Maybe limit the naps.
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 04:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am thinking that ds is getting older and a lot more aware of your presence; thus explaining why he stays up now when he wakes up. Do you strongly wish to continue co-sleeping? If not, this may be the sign to transition to crib. Sorry, otherwise, have no suggestions.
[ Reply | Options ]11.01.09, 10:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This happened to us and our friends. We just get up, turn light on, read book, then tell them to go back to bed. The 20 minutes of book reading is better then two hours awake. Also, turning on the light and repeating the bed time ritual is important because it resets their clock and reminds them that this is bed time. This lasted for a couple nights and then stopped for a couple months, she got over it the second time around.
[ Reply | Options ]11.02.09, 02:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 1st DC is 6 weeks. Any advice on how to foster good sleep habits from those that hav... 4 replies
- and about your crib question, we tried co-sleeping but found our DC did not sleep well at all when lying next to eh 24 hr all you can drink bfing bar. Moved them to their cribs very early...
Talk : : October 28, 2009
1st DC is 6 weeks. Any advice on how to foster good sleep habits from those that have gone through it? She sleeps about 3-4 hours at a time at night but not so much during the day. Right now I have her in a co-sleeper. When should I move her to the crib? Is there anything I should be doing or NOT doing that will help me in the long run?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.28.09, 06:27 PM [ Flag ]what you need to do is ignore most, if not all, of what you get here. 3-4 hrs at a time at night is great for a 6 week old. you know your DB best and what will work best for her. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Agree with the above but generally speaking I thought it was most helpful for everyone to get on a cycle (very different than a schedule, which will eventually come) of sleep, eat, play/poop, sleep, eat play/poop... all in about 3-4 hour increments. There is some sleep book that takes about 200 pages to explain the concept of this cycle - can't remember which one.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^Meant helpful for everyone... not that everyone should get on that cycle!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 06:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
At the risk of getting flamed by the rabid attachment parenting/anti-CIO mothers, I would say that the biggest issue is that you have to be prepared to help your child learn to fall asleep on his own and not look to you to help him fall asleep again if he wakes up in the night. This means, inevitably, that your child will cry at some point and you will have to ignore the crying. I guarantee you, it will be the worst 15/30/45 mins of your life. However, if you allow your kids to learn how to sleep on their own from an early age, you will reap the benefits for years to come. When I talk about early age, I'm saying that you can think about sleep training around 4 months. Earlier than that, babies still cry for a true physical need (hungry/diaper etc). By 4 months tho, kids are usually big enough and capable of sleeping through the night. Obviously, the usual caveats for teething, sick, &/or true physical issues apply. Anecdotally, we have 3 kids that learnt to go to sleep on their own and stay asleep from 4-5 months and now that they are toddler/preschoolers, bang out 12-13 hours at night and take a 1-2 hour nap besides. Always wake up happy and refreshed, hit every physical milestone early and excelling academically. oh... and about your crib question, we tried co-sleeping but found our DC did not sleep well at all when lying next to eh 24 hr all you can drink bfing bar. Moved them to their cribs very early... #1 was in a crib by 2 months, #2/3 were in cribs on day one but since they were twins, they co-slept in one crib. Best of luck!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 09:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am letting my 5mo CIO right now. He's been up since 7am and has only taken a 15 mi... 67 replies
- meaning pick them up or something else? how long did this take? do you co-sleep? how old were your db when they slept through the night? do they wake up now?...
- some more. Two hours later, I finally got him down after nursing him. Very long day. And for the sanctimommies - I co-sleep too, but I understand that sleep is of the utmost importance to a baby's well-being. I would rather let my child CIO...
Talk : : October 28, 2009
I am letting my 5mo CIO right now. He's been up since 7am and has only taken a 15 minute nap since this morning. I've tried rocking, nursing, ect. but he just fights me. He's cranky and crying, so I put him in his crib and walked out. I don't know what else to do. I can't leave and walk him around in the stroller as my other DC is napping right now.
67 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.28.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag ]Give him a cold popsicle or a teething ring and some tylenol, he may be teething and uncomfortable.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What does CIO stand for?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Cry it out (baby waterboarding)
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Cry it out - it's when you leave your baby crying hysterically in their crib all alone. Some people think it's more effective if they phrase it as 'sleep training'. Either way the only thing this accomplishes is it teaches your baby that their needs and the fact that they are crying means nothing to you, They learn they can not depend on you.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nice jugding. That's what she needs now.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You would think there's a whole slew of zombie babies who CIOd and never cry bc they think it's ineffective.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I let my DB CIO and he has never once been shy about crying in my presence to let me know that he needs something.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
he can, however, depend on her to medicate, then throw back in the crib.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow. I feel that if you leave them in their crib crying constantly, daily, they will feel that way, but on an occasion babies just need to cry just like we do. sometimes nothing else will do. Every so often my dc will cry for longer periods of time. I just go in every so often and let her know I'm there by rubbing her back or patting her butt, but I dont pick her up or take her out of the crib. For months she has cried every single day for about 5-8 mins when we put her to bed, but in recent days she hasnt been doing it as much. She has gotten to a point now where she lets us know shes ready by rubbing her eyes and fussing, when we put her in bed she fusses for a min, but then off to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. At night when I put DB down, sometimes he goes right to sleep and sometimes he cries. If I go back in, it is another half hour of rocking and nursing. If I just leave, he'll cry for five minutes and fall asleep. Why should I deprive him of precious sleep just to save five minutes of crying? Am I supposed to give him brownies when he cries if he doesn't get it? Most of the time he stops crying by the time I walk downstairs.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
okay geniuses, if you're so against CIO, what worked for you?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]soothe child. repeat as necessary. it's tiring, but when you choose to have children it's not really about you any more, is it.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]meaning pick them up or something else? how long did this take? do you co-sleep? how old were your db when they slept through the night? do they wake up now?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pick up. coslept. dd didn't sleep through the night for years (extended nursing). she only wakes up now when she has nightmares.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Who says it's about me? I posted above about DS's bedtime routine. He goes to sleep at 7pm, so it's no skin off my nose if I go back in and pick him up BUT he goes back to sleep faster if I don't intervene. It's more important to me that he gets sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same. If I go to DD, she really wakes up and has a much harder time going back to sleep. If I let her be, she's likely to roll over and go back to sleep within a few minutes. I'll know if it's something really serious.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
being a good parent is about your sanity & well-being
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thus speaketh the selfishness of Century 21. let me know how it works out for all of you.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I didn't know a department store can be selfish. Being judgmental and lacking in empathy are not better than selfishness, either.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The above is a GREAT reply. I agree.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 03:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You have to determine why dc is crying, and comeon as mom's we generally have a good idea. When ds was 5mo old *occasionally* he would get overtired and cry like we were torturing him. No amount of soothing would help. We had to just put him down, let him cry and he would fall asleep & wake up happy. Other times he would cry b/c he was sick and we needed to address that. KWIM? You get to know your kid and act accordingly. Different solutions for different cries, different ages.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. One size does not fit all and there is no need to be sanctimonious about it.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You are an ignorant asshole.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you put him in a safe place a walked away. Take a couple of deep breaths. Maybe he's teething?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. Everyone, including babies and parents, have bad days. Putting him in a safe place while you got yourself back together was a smart thing to do. There are far worse ways to have handled a DB who will not stop crying. Take a deep breath and then see if there is something going on - fever, teething or rash.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]while you get yourself together who puts db together?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]5 minutes of crying in a crib while Mom catches her breath is not going to hurt a baby, but a mother who can't keep herself together and does something stupid can.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and in those 5 or 10 minutes, DB just might fall asleep and wake up in an hour happy as can be.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you've ever taken a shaken baby class they tell you to do just that. Put the baby down, collect yourself and then come back.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is he sick? Ds acted that way when he had an ear infection and those are hard to diagnose (even by doctors). If you think so, give him a little infant motrin and see if that doesn't calm him.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no motrin. he's 5 months. tylenol until 6 mo.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you positive? DS is 3 and there were times, prior to getting the tubes, where we gave him motrin and tylenol around the clock. Pediatrician said they do not conflict with each other. Unless something's changed in the last 3 yrs, Motrin should be safe. What does your dr say? And did you try the Tylenol today?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my ped said no motrin until 6 months too.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was told this as well.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, definitely go with the dr's advice then. OP-- did you try Tylenol? Is baby cranky or sick? What do you think?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am the one who responded about the true and sickening description of CIO and let me tell you, I NEVER left my baby alone in her crib crying. The second she needed me I was there every time. She is one of the best sleepers now and the most secure and happy kid. I think CIO has many negative implications that you can't see right now. Babies communicate through crying, it's how they get their needs met. I am sick of people that just leave their baby alone to cry by themselves, how sad. Half the time it is probably teething or gas pain and they have to deal with it with NO help from mommy.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so sick of sanctimommies!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hear hear!! Fine if you want to respond to every burb & gurgle your child makes but others make different choices for our children and raise equally happy and secure children. stop judging others - they are just as entitled and qualified to their parenting style
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same. there is no one way to raise a DB. every DB is different and needs different things. what works for one family could be a complete disaster for another family.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not a santimommy, just a mother who understands that my child is crying because they have a need. When my baby had colic I just didn't leave her alone in a room to cry because she wouldn't stop. I was always beside her, holding her and messaging her tummy. Sure I was plenty tired but once a baby comes it is no longer all about YOU it is about the baby. A defenseless little baby can not tell you what hurts so you if you interpret crying as just an annoyance, your baby WILL learn that they can not trust you to meet their needs. On a site with so many smart people, I would assume common sense would rule, apparently not.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're baby likely didn't have colic at all... she wouldn't stop crying b/c she has a crazed smothering zealot for a mother. Who says that letting your child CIO is "easier" on the parent? It's excruciatingly awful to listen to your child cry but absent of some physical reason for their crying, you have to allow your child the opportunity to figure things out on their own. It's actually far easier to swoop in and comfort your child... Super Sanctimommy to the rescue!!!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. I'm a person who doesn't require much sleep, never have. Half the nights I'm up from insomnia. So I used to go in and nurse DS back to sleep all the time until I realized he looked like an old man from lack of sleep. I let him CIO and he now sleeps straight through and is happier.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Of course you go to the baby when he is teething or sick or has colic. No one ever said to CIO for a sick baby. You just want to pick extreme examples to support your own sanctimoniousness.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lol really?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]After we get up from bowing down at your feet, where should we mail your medal?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]invisible implications?...you mean like the bogey man?...letting a baby cry itself to sleep isn't child abuse...it can be a quick & effective means of helping your baby get over the hump of being left alone & awake in his/her crib (you don't have a problem w/ that do you?) and not being able to put him/herself to sleep...your zealotry doesn't help anyone
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Either does leaving a baby alone to cry by himself. You wonder why the world is full of kids who say they could care less about their parents or that they 'hate' them. Gee, I wonder why.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm going to go with "mothers like you," as the reason why.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Hey, calm down, I didn't do CIO either but sometimes I had days like this poor woman and my DD would just not stop crying and I left her in her crib and left the room and felt absolutely terrible. Show some of the compassion that you gave your dc to another mom, please?
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not being uncompassionate. I am telling her the truth about the situation. It seems to be all about the mom, nobody seems to care about the baby. Has she checked to make her he wasn't teething and didn't have an upset stomach? I felt awful one day for getting frustrated at my dd after she came in from outside. Only to realize a short few minutes later that she had a bee stinger in her foot, she had stepped on a dead bee. If I didn't know better I would have thrown her in her crib to cry alone...and in pain.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP clearly stated she tried everything, and everyone else here erred on the side of her having already checked for all those things. The only person accusing her of awful things without any reason whatsoever is you. So go and take your medication already.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You're a loon.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Another asshole.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 05:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are doing the right thing. just cover your ears- it is so hard to do it- but it gets easier and you are doing the best thing for your child
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 02:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP, how is it going? Is he quieting down? I am one of the true believers of CIO, BTW. If you can get your DB to nap during the day, it will be much easier at night. I started CIO during the daytime, for the morning nap, when the baby is most rested. As soon as he starts rubbing his eyes/yawning/playing with hair, etc. put him in the crib and see what happens. GL!! It is excruciating, but it's best for him (despite what some people think). GL!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Here is a success story for you. DD was worst sleeper ever. We finally gave in after 3 months and brought her in bed with us. At five months she was waking up every 90 minutes and needed to be soothed back to sleep. It was insane. At 6 mos. I read HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS. That night we put her in her crib, said goodnight, and she cried for 25 minutes. THEN SLEPT FOR 10 HOURS, without waking up! I would like someone to tell me that her waking up every 90 minutes in our bed was better for her than 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. (We did not sleep at all, BTW, because we were on tenterhooks, waiting for her to wake up. Didn't happen until the morning.) After that some nights were worse, some nights much better, and by 9 months she was only crying for a minute and then sleeping 12 hours every night. It works. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 04:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We've all BTDT. You did what you thought was best in the situation, don't blame yourself for that. Let us know how he did when you have a moment!
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP Here: He cried hard for 15 minutes, then quiet, then cried hard again. I went in to check on him since he sounded like he was undergoing torture. We snuggled, I rocked him - he kept going stiff in my arms which is usually a sign that he just wants to roll over and fall asleep. He crawled on the bed and cried some more. Two hours later, I finally got him down after nursing him. Very long day. And for the sanctimommies - I co-sleep too, but I understand that sleep is of the utmost importance to a baby's well-being. I would rather let my child CIO for a little while then run to him every 5 seconds. I learned this the hard way after cosleeping for 9mo with #1 and waking every 90minutes. I finally put him in his own crib, he cried a bit, but he's been a wonderful sleeper ever since and is a much happier and well rested toddler because he knows how to fall asleep without a song and dance from mom.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 08:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, there you go... you know first-hand that allowing a child to figure out how to fall asleep on their own is the best thing for your DCs! I wholly agree that sleep is one of the most important components to your childs' health and sometimes CIO is the quickest way to help them get that sleep. It
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]whoops... always amazes me that sanctimommies would not criticize a mother for not letting a child eat mounds of candy even if they were having a fit but they crucify someone for letting their child CIO when they are learning to sleep on their own.
[ Reply | Options ]10.28.09, 08:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Thanks for the update. Sounds like you handled it just fine. Here's to hoping for a better day today! Don't let sanctimom get to you.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 06:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We let our dd cry it out at 5 months. It was tough on everyone for 3-4 nights but ever since then she sleeps perfectly through the night from 7pm -6:30am, is a great napper, feels secure in her crib and knows how to put herself to sleep. So that's 3-4 days of "torture" and a lifetime of healthy sleep for our whole family.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]http://national-job-corps-association.gervax.myhomeserver.com/map.html
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 04:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]was your baby crying before trying to get to sleep? I think the whole CIO is supposed to be in regards to putting a baby to sleep, not dealing with an already upset baby. A babies limbic system doesn't fully form until it's about 6 months, therefore, a crying baby is doing so because there is an issue...not because they are manipulating you. I know it's very trying, BTDT, but I would keep checking on the baby every 5 minutes, pick him up, cuddle him a bit, try to console him, if he's still frantic, put him down for another 5, and keep doing this until it passes.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I posted earlier today. I am the mom whose DH is out of town. Anyway, after nursing him for 45 minutes and he was still awake, I gave up and put him down in the crib. I really really had to pee and I was desparte to shove some food in my mouth. Five minutes later as I was headed upstairs I heard him winding down, so I decided to wait. He fell asleep ten minutes after I put him down. Now I'm kicking myself becuase I felt like I kept him up way too long when I should've just put him down an hour ago. Ugh, it's so hard to know what to do.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So, each time we go through these episodes, we learn a little bit about how to handle it better next time. My son is 16 months, I'm pregnant with the second, and am NOT looking forward to the first 8 weeks. We do the best that we can do. As one of my friends put it, motherhood is one big guilt trip.
[ Reply | Options ]10.29.09, 07:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL at this point in my exhaustion I can't fathom having a 2nd one.
[ Reply | Options ]10.30.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] what did your baby sleep in upon returning from the hospital? crib?cradle?bassinet? a... 19 replies
- #1: in the earliest days - on me. then later in the car seat. eventually in the co-sleeper of the PnP in our room. #2: on me, car seat, mini crib (our room)....
- next to your husband. Personally I didn't want to get in the habit of not sleeping with my husband. Maybe try a co-sleeper and have your dh wear earplugs?...
Talk : : October 26, 2009
what did your baby sleep in upon returning from the hospital? crib?cradle?bassinet? and in what room?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.26.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag ]With us in bed. I hadn't planned on it at all. Was getting NO sleep at all. That was the only way he would sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ sorry hit enter too soon. this is our 2nd child and with #1 we put her in the crib after the first night bc sleeping in our room in a cradle was tight and disruptive to my husband's sleep. i'm tempted to do the same this time. baby room is right next to ours - but is this ok? or should i be sleeping closer to the baby?
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You have to weigh sleeping closer to your baby and sleeping next to your husband. Personally I didn't want to get in the habit of not sleeping with my husband. Maybe try a co-sleeper and have your dh wear earplugs?
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op good idea..i feel the same way. i don't want DH and i in seperate beds. the last 2 mos of my pregnancy we've been apart a lot because i wake up so much and end up on the couch most nights.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hand-me-down bassinette in our bedroom.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bassinet in our room for a few months, then moved it bassinet in her room, then the crib.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pack n play
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]#1: in the earliest days - on me. then later in the car seat. eventually in the co-sleeper of the PnP in our room. #2: on me, car seat, mini crib (our room).
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pack and play until about 3 months, then crib.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My ds slept in his car seat too! For the first month. He loved being snug and a bit upright. Whatever works...
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, forgot about that. We did that too on the odd night.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Since we sleep under a duvet and babies can't have blankets, we couldn't get a temp in the room that worked for us all (Summer w/ A/C on). We started him in his room after @ a week of him waking up cold. It would have been easier to have him nearer. Both dh and I woke up all the time to "phantom cries". Would run to baby only to find he was sound asleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my chest for 3 months
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]napper in our pack n play right next to our bed. tell dh to man up - he won't even notice in a week.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bassinet in my room and the bouncy in the living room
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Arm's Reach Cosleeper right next to me at night, and moses basket wherever I was other than that at home. In a cozy wrap when out and about :)
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]in bassinet next to our bed, then would take her into own room for feedings, moved @ 4 months into own room.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pack n play next to bed and with dh and me about half the time
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]next to us in bed.
[ Reply | Options ]10.26.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My 18mo DD is the most horrible sleeper in the entire UNIVERSE! She is breastfed at n... 47 replies
- why is co-sleeping and extended bfing excessive? Sounds lovely to me. I am...nothing to do with nursing. I don’t know about co-sleeping though. Basically your dc needs to learn how to fall...on her own. It is probably easier to do without co-sleeping but at this point I would first train her to...That said I think your situation has to do with co-sleeping and what sounds like child directed attachment parenting not BF...
Talk : : October 22, 2009
My 18mo DD is the most horrible sleeper in the entire UNIVERSE! She is breastfed at night and still wakes up an average of 3x a night!!!!!!!
47 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.22.09, 02:52 AM [ Flag ]wean her and stop this.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 03:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So you think it's 100% due to still breastfeeding? Okay how should I go about weaning her? I was trying to bf her until 2 since that's what all the doctors recommend....but geesh!
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 03:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No drs recommend that. La Leche militants recommend that.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]really?? Not even Dr. Sears?
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The World Health Organization recommends nursing until two. Still, I weaned my kid at two and he is still a cruddy sleeper. I wouldn't count on it just being the breastfeeding. It is more likely the sleep association of needing you to put her to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 05:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well they say that because this is a world wide recommendation where unfortunately bm is the only good nutrition for the child - poor countries.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 05:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes...in underdeveloped countries. not countries like the US with a clean drinking water supply, an abundance of good food, and access to vaccinations and general medical care.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you serious... WHO recommends breast feeding until 2 becuase of impoverished countries where clean water and access to food is not an option... you are an idiot
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you don't have to wean,necessarily. my kids bf'd at 18 months but they also slept through. Is she actualyl having a ful feed ion the night (then she needs to eat more during the day) or jsut sucking to sleep?
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Not just the breastfeeding. You need to CIO. She is way too old to be waking at night. Put her down and DO NOT get her until 6am no matter what. A few days of this and you will be set. You can still nurse her at bedtime if you like.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well we co-sleep...
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well - you have your answer to the problem then. Sorry.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So I need to put her in her own bed and let her CIO?
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Duh.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mine is 15 months, still wake 3X, is also still nursing, but NOT co-sleeping. I know I have to do, CIO, but I've never had the fortitude...time to toughen up.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 04:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Try the Jay Gordon nightweaning plan. We co-slept and nursed until 21 months (nightweaned at 18), so I know exactly where you are.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 05:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]as to CIO --i don't think you should immediately let them cry forever ---- wean them to that, too. let them cry for 1-2 mins., comfort them, then put them back in crib--- cry for 3-4 minutes, and so on. read the baby whisperer. it takes a while but for some that's the only way. you may do it a lot but they eventually get used to it. as to co-sleeping, i don't know what you should do except no milk after 9 or before 6 --- maybe you could wean that too --- 2x a night for a couple of nights, then 1 time a night for awhile, then no more. she is so used to it you can't just drop it cold turkey. i tried to let my baby CIO once at naptime without the weaning and she threw up -- i do not believe in that. will never do that again
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 05:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that was mine. i don't believe in cio, so got used to it.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 05:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
let me tell you the opposite of the other posters. my dd is 17 months and JUST outgrew the night waking, and i am pretty sure she has weaned herself. It will happen. don't let them scare you. it's very sudden. you'll miss the sweet moments when it's gone.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]please. there are a billion "sweet moments" still to come.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ](OR)sure, go ahead, degrade me for giving my body to my DD for well over 2 years now when you count pregnancy. and I loved every second of it, minus the first 6 weeks of Breastfeeding, when I tolerated it because I knew what I was doing was the best thing for my child.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not sure why it won't post my reply. OR here... I gave my body to my DD for over 2 years when you count pregnancy, and it was the medically sound, right thing to do for my baby. not to mention all the other benefits (reduced risk of breast cancer, for one). no need to degrade me. any nursing mother knows that you WILL miss those moments. it doesn't mean more won't be coming, but it will be different.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wait until your kid is 5, or 10, or 15, or 20, or whatever, and then we'll talk. your martyr tone is grating, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You can nightwean and still BF. My 1 yo was nightweaned at 8-9 months, but is still BF. The most effective technique to me at older than 1y, is to let dh go to her when she wakes up at night. Offer a bottle w a tiny amount of milk at first and then switch to water. Usually wi a week they realize it's not worth getting up for any more. This is easier if you are not in the same room. Also try the no-cry sleep solution.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]All my kids were like this. They all started to sleep better between 18 and 24 months of age. Hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i dont mean to flame but i cannot believe that you are co sleeping and nursing your 18 mos dd. how do you function? its time for some boundries. the boobs and the bed are yours. where does dh sleep?
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's it to you? Just because you wouldn't do it means that other shouldn't?
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]im just saying it strikes me as a bit excessive at this point. where does DH sleep? has anoyone in ops home slept for more than 3 hours at a time in the last 18 mos
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmmm... why is co-sleeping and extended bfing excessive? Sounds lovely to me. I am very sure you, DH, and a baby will fit fine in a queen-sized bed.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i do too, and we actually get more sleep...LO sees that we are sleeping and plays quietly on the bed, but once our eyes are open or we are sitting up she's up and ready to go. also, as OP suggested the WHO recommends BF until two years. my DD has weaned a bit before that but that IS the recommendation.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]are you really that uninformed? WHO recommends bfing until 2 years old for people living in underdeveloped countries. NOT the united states.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What the WHO recommends for underdeveloped countries is also a good recommendation for the USA.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What do you think is the difference? you think formula is recommended instead here? what do you do after the absolutely recommended 12 months (AAP even, and they are sooooo conservative with their recommendations)? wean? go to another mammal's milk? anyway this isn't supposed to be FF vs BF. i see a time for both, but the WHO recommendation is what it is.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Going to cow's milk after 12 month is a perfectly fine option unless medical reasons prevent you from doing this. That said, bfing longer than 12 months is entirely okay with me as well.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i find it excrutiatingly annoying when a bfing mother uses the WHO recommendation to support her decision to engage in extended bfing. if you want to bf until your kid is in kindergarten, by all means, go ahead. but to state the WHO's recommendation as support of that decision is uninformed, as the recommendation clearly is more narrowly targeted.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Huh? What if the mother is convinced that the WHO recommendation has some merit even in developed countries?
[ Reply | Options ]10.23.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np here. different strokes. we did this, works out for us.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would night wean, then she will have more milk during the day if she wants it. Maybe put her in a bassinet or cosleeper if you are not ready to have her leave your room - for me it was easier to have her out of the room at night.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the vast majority of 18 month olds are way too big for a bassinet or cosleeper -- if not too long, then certainly too heavy and too restless.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ROFL
[ Reply | Options ]10.23.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We had the same thing with our 13 month old and am feeling a bit like we might have cracked it without CIO. We do have a crib, but he wouldn't stay in it once he woke up and wanted to breastfeed, after that it was in the bed. I reached a breaking point, and decided that no matter what I was not going to pick him up at night. I would cuddle him, give him a bottle (pumped), sing to him etc, but was not going to pick him up. After only 3 nights of some crying and upset, he began sleeping much better, and now wakes once a night, and often only needs a quick pat before going back to sleep. Sometimes he needs the bottle, but not all the time. Having him sleep so much better, and not in our bed, has done wonders I think for all of our sleep patterns. I think we were probably waking each other up all night, and now no longer. Good luck to you, with what you chose to do. Only you can make the decision which feels right for you and your child.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Please do not listen to these posters who are blaming it on the nursing. I do agree that you might want to consider weaning soon, but I don't understand why everyone's calling that the cause...I bf'd 2nd for a total of one month, and she had massive sleep issues till she was about 16-17mos. We did CIO, but she was tenacious and her cry was really hard to endure (she would go on for hrs). She's two now, and as of about 18 or 19 months we experienced a major sleep transformation: 13 hrs./night, a solid 2 hr. nap each afternoon. She's now the best sleeper in our house and sleep is never a battle, as it used to constantly be for the first year and a half! All I'm saying is, don't give up hope!
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dc was sleeping though the night at 2 months. The issue has nothing to do with nursing. I don’t know about co-sleeping though. Basically your dc needs to learn how to fall asleep without help. You need to change nap and bad time routines so that you are not nursing or staying with her until she is a sleep. She needs to be awake when you walk out of the room and kiss her good night and she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. It is probably easier to do without co-sleeping but at this point I would first train her to fall asleep on her own before making any other changes in her routine.
[ Reply | Options ]10.22.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my son was like this. magically at about 2.5, he started sleeping through the night. hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]10.23.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow.. so much anger towards extended BFing. OP, you can night wean. I explained to dd that milk has to sleep at night, too. then, stopped BFing at night. the first night, it was hell. she cried and cried. the second night was a little better. the third night she slept through the night.
[ Reply | Options ]10.23.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]fwiw my ff childreb slept through at 4 mos. That said I think your situation has to do with co-sleeping and what sounds like child directed attachment parenting not BF. Imho ( since you are asking for it by posting on this board) it's time to take a look at your priorities and parenting style and make changes now before this gets more intense as your child gets older. good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]10.23.09, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] We have a 5 week old and he's shown himself a pretty good sleeper. lately though he'... 1 reply
- Of course he's a good sleeper, he's on your chest. I will be contradicted by loudmouths and crunchy co-sleepers, but most sane parents, and pediatricians, will tell you that it is important to establish a predictable bedtime routine (or further, whole day schedule) including putting db asleep on his own so he becomes comfortable on his own. Co-sleeping is popular but dangerous for db (i.e. highest cause of SIDS) and exhausting for parents. Do yourself a favor,...
Talk : : October 18, 2009
We have a 5 week old and he's shown himself a pretty good sleeper. lately though he's happier sleeping on our chests than in the crib or pack and play or swing, etc. we're happy to have him sleep on our chest but are we getting into habits that might be difficult to undo or is he young enough that none of this really matters. Thanks good people!!
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.18.09, 05:30 PM [ Flag ]Of course he's a good sleeper, he's on your chest. I will be contradicted by loudmouths and crunchy co-sleepers, but most sane parents, and pediatricians, will tell you that it is important to establish a predictable bedtime routine (or further, whole day schedule) including putting db asleep on his own so he becomes comfortable on his own. Co-sleeping is popular but dangerous for db (i.e. highest cause of SIDS) and exhausting for parents. Do yourself a favor, teach him to sleep at night in his own crib.
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Expecing DB#2 and live in a very small 2 bedroom. I am thinking of not buying a crib,... 13 replies
- small arms-reach co-sleeper attaches to bed - baby can easily be in it until 7 months or so....
Talk : : October 16, 2009
Expecing DB#2 and live in a very small 2 bedroom. I am thinking of not buying a crib, because I am not sure where to put it. Kind of unfair to the 5 year old to be made to share his room this early, no? Any suggestions?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.16.09, 03:04 PM [ Flag ]I would keep the baby in your room until db is around 2 years old.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we put crib in our room. 3 yo slees through the night, seemed unfair to put a newborn in his room.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 03:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I put #2 in with #1 at 5mo, before that #2 slept in the living room at night
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 03:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My 5 yr old likes sharing his room w/db (as long as db sleeps, which is most of the time). But no matter where db sleeps, don't you think s/he needs a crib?
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Our #1 used a crib until 2.4, but #2 never had them. Had the reno from hell and moved around like nomads from the time dc was 7 months until she was 17 months. Put her straight into a twin. On the bright side, she was toilet trained for night at 2.3:)
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We used a Moses basket for the first 4 months. Then moved db into her 4 yo brother's room. They also make wooden Pack-n-Plays which raise up to regular crib height, but are just smaller in dimension. Good for your room.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]small arms-reach co-sleeper attaches to bed - baby can easily be in it until 7 months or so.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we might do this--thank you
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Same situation here, and did the same thing. Also, is is VERY helpful in terms of kid mess management, to give your dc's the larger bedroom. You can keep ALL their stuff in their and prevent the living room from looking like Romper Room. Our room is tiny, but our living areas look really nice!
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We used a Graco Pack'n'Play next to our bed until ds was about 4 months old.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same. planning to do it again in about a month. :-)
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 01:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Congratulations!
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks... just looked at the calendar and realized it's actually closer to 2 wks. crap... gotta get off here and get some stuff organized!
[ Reply | Options ]10.18.09, 02:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 4.5 month old baby. sleeps in bed with us. will she ever get out of our bed and into ... 23 replies
- .i loved those co-sleeping moments (and dh esp. keeps asking when we can bring him in bed again!) but i also really love getting a full night's sleep. and your baby continues to evolve and you have new things bond over and look forward to. i love making ds...
Talk : : October 16, 2009
4.5 month old baby. sleeps in bed with us. will she ever get out of our bed and into her crib? she wakes for (breast)feeding every 3 hrs. and i know it's for comfort as much as for hunger...but should i really be depriving her of these moments at such a young age? or is CIO really the only option? thanks.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.16.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag ]Raise your child however you want to raise your child. There is NEVER only one option.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i was you 6 months ago. db will get out of your bed, but only if YOU put her back in her crib. but for now, i would say, she's too young. when our ds was about 6 months old he continued to keep waking up, but it was clear he wasn't hungry....this is when we moved him to crib and let him cio.....he only cried for about 5 min after putting him down and the first two nights he woke twice, cried for 5 min and went back to sleep. he has been sleeping through the night (7pm to 7am!) since then.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ds #1 coslept with us until he was probably about 3-4 then one of us would lay with him in his bed until he fell asleep until he was 5 (until #2 arrived), when #2 came along i co-slept with him until he was 1 yrs old...1 month ago i started to CIO BOTH of them, yes my now 6 yr old did not want to go to sleep alone! oy vay!...do i regret all those years with him, not a minute...but i couldnt do it again with #2, i wasnt getting any sleep and now he is finally going down without a fight, actually both of them are..
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Co splept till 4yrs old???? Mon dieu.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yep
[ Reply | Options ]10.19.09, 06:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is what I did until dd was 18mo. the older they get, the harder it is to transition them to a crib (she never did, her crib is where I put her laundry before I get a chance to put it away). That said, I don't regret it for a moment. I loved those moments with her when it was just us 2, and I still miss them once in a while.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thats a very personal decision and there is no right way. We ended up with a family bed, didn't plan it but I still love when my DD snuggles up to me to go to sleep, and I never have to worry about her because she is right there. I still wake up a few times a night to check on her, adjust her blankets, ect...
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP thank you, mamas, for replies! I also love these precious moments of cosleeping. I just receive some criticism from others about it...especially since, well, i'm now back at work and tired. but aren't all mothers tired? please tell me it gets better!
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it does get better....co sleep until she gets too restless..
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It does get better, at some point, dd would only wake once or twice a night, and I'd feed her half sleeping anyway. And people always have an opinion about parenting. In most cases, in one ear, out the other...
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]personally I couldn't imagine dragging my a** out of bed, get up and walk to another room to feed a baby, around 6 months, my dd stopped waking up for the night feeding. Do yourself a favor, treat you home like Vegas, and don't discuss it with your co-workers.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think that's very good advice. I don't tell people that I'm still breastfeeding, too much hassle.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i'm the one who moved ds to crib at 6 months....i loved those co-sleeping moments (and dh esp. keeps asking when we can bring him in bed again!) but i also really love getting a full night's sleep. and your baby continues to evolve and you have new things bond over and look forward to. i love making ds laugh and play with him now that he is so interactive. i thought once i stopped nursing, we wouldn't have any connection, but it's so untrue. we connect in lots of other ways now. and now that he sleeps on his own, and i sleep on my own, i feel more rested all day and can enjoy him more. but every mom has to choose what's right for her family. good luck to you!
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: yes, all moms are tired. The fact is, that even if you CIO and you get a db who mostly sleeps through the night, lots of thing disrupt that - like teething, sickness, developmental phases. So that many nights db will cry and wake you up - maybe you don;t have to get out of bed, but it's still disruptive to your sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is me now but ds is 6 months old. i can say that your baby is not hungry. ped says baby may need one feeding in the night not every three hours at 4.5 months. you are just a paci for the baby. so if you are alright with thiw then its good if you ar not then, CIO and YOU get her out of your bed, GL
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What's wrong with needing comfort? Nurture is just as important as nourishment. We don't sleep alone as adults after all.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]nothing as long as you are cool with waking in the night. OP implied that she does not, otherwise, why post.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no it just rubs me the wrong way when people say that a baby just wants attention, but doesn't need it. But, your right, its her life and her kid and everyone's limits and situations are different.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
she'll get out one way or another. i don't like the cio method, so that doesn't suit us. you should do what works best for you. we stayed with the family bed and nursed for an extended period.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]being brief..will she ever leave your bed? If you want her to, yes. You are the parent. You dictate this.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we start the 6mo in the crib at night but he gets lonely and wakes up in the middle of the night and winds up in the bed with me--so i pretty much spend from 1am to 6am with a boob out--I call him the bed bug--
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
she probably wont be able to leave your bed on her own until she is about a year old - until then, you will have to parent up and put her somewhere else to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't understand this. DS slept in his own space from day 1. It's only since he's turned say 3 where he tries to get us to lay down with him at night (and we do sometimes b/c he's so sweet). But he can't fall asleep with either of us in his bed. It's too much like playtime.
[ Reply | Options ]10.16.09, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Expecting our 1st child. We live in a 1 br apartment in Manhattan. Can someone share ... 15 replies
- We put a changing pad on top of a truck at the foot of our bed. You'll need a crib (or co-sleeper depending on how long you'll be in the 1 br). Vibrating chair. When dc starts eating solids skip the high chair and...
- We got some rubberized mats that have flannel on them from my mother and used those as a changing pad, used a co-sleeper next to the bed and bought 3 glass bottles, a bottle brush, a breast pump, sling, and car seat. I tried cloth...
Talk : : October 13, 2009
Expecting our 1st child. We live in a 1 br apartment in Manhattan. Can someone share their shopping list for the newborn? There are quite a few general examples on the internet, but I am curious to know what people were actually buying considering the limited space in NYC apartments.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.13.09, 08:15 AM [ Flag ]I really don't think you need much. I found that a changing table/diaper genie took up too much room. We never used them. A crib, definitely. We liked our bouncy chair. Diapers! We got enough onesies at showers to last a lifetime... you may not even need to buy clothes. Lots of bottles. Most of the "extra" stuff, like bottle warmers (and especially an intercom system in a 1 bdr) you just don't need!
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We put a changing pad on top of a truck at the foot of our bed. You'll need a crib (or co-sleeper depending on how long you'll be in the 1 br). Vibrating chair. When dc starts eating solids skip the high chair and get a booster with a tray that straps into one of your dining chairs. No need for diaper genie if the garbage can be taken to the shoot in the hall at any hour. One of those mats with mirrors and textures and mobile-like things overhead for playing on the floor.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA with everything said here.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
here is a tip for having a dc in a 1 bedroom. give the bedroom to dc and set up a sleeping area for yourself & dh in the living room.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we didn't find this necessary and didn't move until ds was almost 2. Put the baby down for the night and you live in the rest of the apartment. You can easily sneak in to go to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we tried this, then at 6 months, ds would wake with dh's snoring in the middle of the night and not go back to sleep. so, i guess depends on the db.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or the DH :)
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's what we did once the kid grew out of the mini cosleeper. After a year, though, we moved into a 2BR apt.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You seriously don't need that much. You do need a crib. DaVinci Emily is a small crib that my 2 year old still uses and loves. You need somewhere for the baby to sit when not in the crib, like a bouncy seat. When he is older, you need a highchair. I got one that straps onto a chair. You can take it off and put in the closet when you want to use the chair. (LOVE IT!) Otherthan that, you need something to hold the diaperstuff near wherever you are going to change the baby. You don't need a changing table. I did get a changing table/dresser with a bookshelf over it that is great in our small apartrment ecuase it holds all of the baby stuff and keeps it organized.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We got some rubberized mats that have flannel on them from my mother and used those as a changing pad, used a co-sleeper next to the bed and bought 3 glass bottles, a bottle brush, a breast pump, sling, and car seat. I tried cloth diapers and cloth wipes for a while in combination with EC, but caved in and now use disposable and a potty, our nanny can stretch a pack of diapers for a month. All the other stuff, blankets, onsies, ect... were given to us. After DD was born we got a swing 2nd hand. We also got a high chair that converts to a regular chair but honestly, she used it for maybe 3 months, and our FIL insisted on buying her a stroller which I use on occasion. So all in all, we didn't buy that much. We live in a RR with a big kitchen and bedroom and two tiny, 8'x8' roomlets. Now she is almost 2 we are considering converting our bed into a day bed in the "living room", converting the office into a nursery and making the bedroom into a giant family area.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Most of the stuff you do not need. I found I used: crib, diapers, lots of onsies, bibs, washcloths, towls, shampoo, bottles [I had a lot and liked having that many. Not necessary, but it was nice], drying rack for bottles, cleaning thing for bottles large one for ottle, small one for nipples, breast pump, teething rings, spoons, rattles, blankets, sheets, waterproof mats to put on the crib [the ones from the hosptial are the best] and to put on bed for changing, mobile for brib, mat for floor, foam mats for floor, foam blocks, books, puppets, balls, booster seat, bouncy seat, stoller, stroller bag, container to hold formula in premeasured amounts, lots of baggies, pacifiers, diaper genie II [not necessary but it does keep teh smell down] bundle me for the stroller, blankets, camera. Most everything else you don't need and will not use after db is a few months old and you will get rid of it thenanyway.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We put a pack-n-play with a
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oops. We put a pack-n-play with a "changing table" attachment in the living room. DB was in there a lot when he was little and we used the changing table a lot as well. We had a crib and a few plastic drawers to keep his clothes. We also had a FP Motion Glider which was awesome. We had an infant seat and snap-n-go and a Bugaboo. That was pretty much it for big things.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
a df has this http://www.buybuybaby.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=16806528&RN=7156 puts it in bedroom when dc goes to bed. Rolls into living room when mom and dad go to bed.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 09:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 15 weeks and my dd still wakes up every 3 hrs. during the night for a feeding. normal... 11 replies
- sleep- at 5.5 months I was ready to space out his feedings so I moved him to a crib and started going in every 6 hours. 15 weeks is still a little young for CIO- so this is a good means to survival. I'm due in 2 weeks- bought a co-sleeper so I can do this from day one....
Talk : : October 09, 2009
15 weeks and my dd still wakes up every 3 hrs. during the night for a feeding. normal? (note: she's sleeping with us in bed right now, hoping to transition her into crib...someday) would love to hear your thoughts/experiences. i'm tired! and i'm tired of all the books on the market that are either infuriatingly common-sensical or promise 'gentle' methods that are cry-it-out in disguise. THANKS!
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.09.09, 11:07 AM [ Flag ]Just leave her in bed with you for as long as she's still feeding at night. It's so much easier to just feed her there in bed, barely even changing your position, and then both of you going straight back to sleep right there, instead of trying to get her back to sleep in her crib and then taking yourself back to bed. It's one of the biggest advantages of a family bed for the first few months. Or if her being in the bed is keeping you & DH from sleeping well, put her in a crib right next to the bed, until she's ready to be in her own room.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTA- my ds was exactly like your dd- I put him in bed with me and finally got sleep- at 5.5 months I was ready to space out his feedings so I moved him to a crib and started going in every 6 hours. 15 weeks is still a little young for CIO- so this is a good means to survival. I'm due in 2 weeks- bought a co-sleeper so I can do this from day one.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't think it matters what is normal, it's what works for your family. Ds never slept with us and was sleeping 11-12hrs a night by @10 wks. Dh and I are big sleepers so we were very stringent on the baby learning to sleep through the night. I'm glad we did. Over 3 years later he's been a great sleeper ever since, and I've watched many of my friends stuggle for a year with a child waking up multiple times a night -- for me that's no way to live.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: what methods did above poster use to get son to sleep? thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't assume his sleeping 10-12 hours/night and being a great sleeper is all you're doing- well, probably is but do to your genetics not your actions.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not sure -- most people I know with poor sleeping kids are themselves poor sleeping adults. It could be genetics. It could also be that they don't find sleep as important as I do. I rank sleep and food on equal grounding, especially to children. They need sleep to be healthy, so it's something I'm stickler about.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
At 1mo old we put him on a strict food schedule of every 4 hrs during the day, even waking him up to eat (some books disagree on that, others recommend it). We were dilligent in having a bedtime ritual of bath and story (yes at 4wks) and lay down for bed at 7pm. (I don't think we broke that even once until he was 2.) At night there was no talking, no hanging out, just perfunctory. As he started eating more during the day, at night we stopped feeding him immediately when he woke, we used a paci to gradually extend the time between night time feedings. We also used a combo of BM and formula, but always formula at night. HTHs.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Dr Sears has surprisingly good advice.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Unfortunately, yes, that is fairly normal at this age. The first six months are pretty much just an agonizing blur of sleep deprivation. I will tell you that starting at 16 weeks, some people believe you can do some sleep training, but you have to get your db off the night feedings first. Try cluster feeding (feed every hour to 1 1/2 hours from say 6 to 10) combined with dream feeding, where you feed them even after they are asleep around 10 or 11 or 12 (just before you collapse) so that they have enough food in their tummies to go longer. Also, try feeding them as much as possible during the day. It actually helps them go a little longer at night. And if you're absolutely dying, get your dh to do the midnight feeding so you can catch a little bit of extra sleep. Good luck, and yes, it is unbelievably hard at this phase.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]from mom above recommending schedule: when your child wakes up, is it for food? Do you know how much she is getting then? i.e. are you using breast or bottle? You want to make sure when she's young that she's *only* getting up for food, then you can wean her off of that w/ more food during the day. If she wakes up for comfort, then she needs to learn how to self soothe. I prefer bottle at night. Who wants to wake up to nurse to have baby only take an ounce then fall back to sleep only to wake up a couple hrs later. KWIM?
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I thought you said 15 MONTHS at first - yes, every 3 hours is pretty normal for a 15 week old. Soon you should find yourself waking up just before baby does, stick her on as soon as she stirs and she won't even really wake up... to me this is easier than being woken by a baby crying over the monitor, already worked up and requiring more soothing to go back to sleep. Yes it is easier once you both get one cycle of 4-5 hours but I know of no way to guarantee that happening.
[ Reply | Options ]10.09.09, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am insanely exhausted...10 mo DD does NOT sleep at night...if we're lucky we get on... 22 replies
Talk : : October 07, 2009
I am insanely exhausted...10 mo DD does NOT sleep at night...if we're lucky we get one 4-hour stretch...Then she's up and fussy every hour or so. I don't know what to do...We've done the co-sleeping thing, the cry-it-out thing. I feel like I'm going to lose it. She's screaming right now - HELP!!!!!!!
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.07.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag ]more info, please. how well does she eat? when does she eat? when does she nap? does she fall asleep easily and then wake up or does she not fall asleep?
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she is still nursing and eating 3 "meals" per day. no teeth, so mostly "adult" food mooshed up. if i'm lucky we get 2-3 naps per day, they last about 40 minutes. she falls asleep easily at night. lately she's been more interested in playing than eating. TIA (soooo tired and frustrated :()
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]can you put some toys in her bed and she'll play with them when she wakes up? maybe a sippy cup or bottle of water too.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do that now...she just stands up and throws a tantrum....And throws it all out of her crib :(
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Teething. Try some Tylenol.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She got motrin tonight before bed....We've done both tylenol and motrin (per our doctor) because she said it is probably teething...but this has been going on for at least 2 months now...no teeth....
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]did she ever sleep through the night?
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]by my terms (8-12 hrs), no....textbook...yes, she was sleeping about 2 5hr stretches then i'd nurse her in the am and she'd give me another hour or 2. people have been pressuring me to give her formula, saying my breast milk is making her hungry.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know you said you did the CIO thing, but if she isn't sick, I would try leaving her for a bit. This is definitely not healthy for her.....
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]if she is eating food and nursing, there is nothing that formula is going to do for you. i think at 10 months you get both teething and a lot of developmental stuff going on. double check there's no ear infection or something along those lines.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you think she may not be getting enough breast milk at night, you could try pumping and giving her a bottle at night.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 10:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Don't allow her to sleep during the day until she sleeps through the night.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bad advice. sleep begets sleep. an overtired baby doesn't sleep well.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 08:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]http://patio-cushion.n.wjg.jp/ patio cushion http://boxer-puppies.n.wjg.jp/ boxer puppies http://printable-birthday-cards.n.wjg.jp/ printable birthday cards
[ Reply | Options ]10.08.09, 12:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you may have to re-establish a bedtime routine and grit your teeth while it is hopefully working. i would give a nice, restful bath before bedtime with a sippy cup of milk before or after, a bedtime story, reassuring words of love and goodnight and then: moment of exit and stick with it. i am not really a believer in cio but clearly some routine needs to be established. good luck to you.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 09:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dd is exactly the same! We have bring bringing her into the bed and lettting her sleep with us. Only thing that seems to work. But sometimes, she just wants to play and explore and crawls over us. Holding tight to the
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 09:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^"this too shall pass" thing.
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 10:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What is she using (or supposed to be using) for self-comfort? Does she have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal yet?
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 11:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It saved my life!
[ Reply | Options ]10.08.09, 06:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have it. Is it me, or is this book not the easiest read?
[ Reply | Options ]10.08.09, 05:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
When you did the cry-it-out, did it work? I find that it worked with both my dc's, but you had to be consistent. And if they were sick, teething, etc., you had to do it all over again once they were better (but it's much shorter). It's not a one-time thing, it's something you will need to continue to do periodically. For us, that was the only thing that worked, and at 10 months, waking up every hour is purely behavioral unless they have a physical problem.
[ Reply | Options ]10.08.09, 07:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it did work, yes. then she learned to stand up and everything went out the door. we did cio a few nights and it didn't seem to work. after about 2 hrs of screaming we gave up. we did it again this past weekend and she fell asleep fine, but when she woke up at night it was a scream fest for hours. and as much as i'd like to pretend i have nerves of steel - does anyone really tolerate all-out screaming at 3 am?
[ Reply | Options ]10.08.09, 05:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Expecting first baby in 5 months. My husband and I live in a 780sq.ft. 1br in Manhatt... 14 replies
- agree with this. co-sleeper, changing pad on dresser top, stroller, carseat. eventually op will want a high chair. ikea antelop has a small footprint, is easy to clean and costs about $15 or so as i recall....
Talk : : October 06, 2009
Expecting first baby in 5 months. My husband and I live in a 780sq.ft. 1br in Manhattan. We are starting to plan for this occasion. Please suggest the list of things to buy for the newborn, considering the size of our apartment. We are somewhat price-conscious. That is, will spend more money for the quality stuff, like a good crib and good/reliable stroller).
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.06.09, 12:07 PM [ Flag ]Crib and Stroller are all you really need in the beginning. You will need an infant tub (love Four Moms). Other things we are happy we had were: vibrating/bouncy chair. You'll be fine :)
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]disagree on the infant tub if you are really trying to minimize things- kitchen sink should be fine for many months, then the baby can bathe with you, and eventually can just be on his own-
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Agree. There is very little that you need!
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
crib, stroller, carseat, changing pad (no need for a changing table just put pad on dresser, place to put diapers, diaper cream etc, extra garbage bag just for diapers.
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We got a Stokke crib, which is smaller than the others but still nice. It starts as a bassinette, then expands to bigger (you have to add pieces to it). It is about $1000 but we thought it did well by us - we also were tight with space.
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are mini-cribs that are smaller than reg cribs and cheaper than Stokke
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we used a cosleeper to save space, changing pad on the bed, and emptied out a dresser drawer for DB's cloths. Bought a $7 plastic trashcan for diapers, used a night table to hold wipes. Must have a car seat, which can double as place to put the baby when you would like to take a shower or use the bathroom. A Boppy is also nice to have if you plan on BF and you can use it as a place to put baby to play as well. Used slings with pancho's (mom wears pancho) for the first few months and then broke down and got a stroller. Worked out fine. After DB was about 6-7 months we bought a crib that turns into a toddler bed at Ikea.
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]agree with this. co-sleeper, changing pad on dresser top, stroller, carseat. eventually op will want a high chair. ikea antelop has a small footprint, is easy to clean and costs about $15 or so as i recall.
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this was us 5 years and 2 dc ago and we are still in the same place. You really only need the snap and go to use with the car seat at the beginning and then you can get an umbrella stroller (the type that reclines). We had a hand me down bassinette, but would have gone straight to crib if we couldn't have unloaded it quickly.
[ Reply | Options ]10.06.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bouncey seat, we used a snuggle nest for a few months, basinnet
[ Reply | Options ]10.07.09, 01:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I only had a pack'n'play for first ds,and first months for ds2, then somebody gave me a folding crib he still sleeps in(18 months now).I was very happy with the Euro bathtub(25$),
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry,pressed enter by mistake-so Euro bathtub used it from 2-3 weeks old until 3yo,when not in use hanged it on the bathroom wall.no need for diaper genie/bottle warmer/changing table.get lots of burp/wash cloths,onesies.Loved my Philips Avent sterilizer.Both babies had colics-vibrating chair OR bouncy seat were great,also when second baby got all the viruses from his preschooler brother and slept better when when up at angle in seat/chair(not good for their back,though so only1 or2 nights,when really congested/coughing).When done wit bouncy seat, you will have some space for a walker
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm in a similar position...Manhattan apartment and expecting first baby any day now. One thing everyone told me to get was a swing, and we did. Granted, "everyone" lives in huge Westchester colonials, so I'll have to wait and see if this is really worth the space...
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Marpac white noise machine. Of all that baby stuff marketed out there, this will last for years and years.
[ Reply | Options ]10.13.09, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is there any reason why I shouldn't just have DB sleep in his stroller bassinet until... 9 replies
Talk : : October 05, 2009
Is there any reason why I shouldn't just have DB sleep in his stroller bassinet until he's ready for his crib? I thought about getting a co-sleeper or a Moses basket, but I just don't want to have any more stuff.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.05.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag ]As long as there is no danger of suffocation I don't see why not.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: I guess I'm worried about sleep confusion...like, will he somehow think that every time he goes in his stroller he is supposed to go to sleep?
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The baby baskets are nice.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I put db in her crib from day 5 (first day home) no problems
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Nice! I like that even better! I'm hijacking my own freaking post here, but can you use blankets in a crib, or is that part of the "no soft toys" or whatever that can't go in cribs? (Sorry I am such a dumba**. First kid.)
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: They don't recommend blankets. We swaddled when dds were younger than 3 mo. Since then, wearable blanket (a thing you zip them into, without sleeves. We use "baby in a bag").
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No blankets or pillows until db is 2 years old. Once db is around 12 months you can put a few stuffed animals in there if you want.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Great...that's what I needed to know. We do have a few swaddlers and baby bags that'll be perfect. Thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR- sorry, in the UK they have infant pillows and blankets. We did that
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Does anyone have a good recommendation for a bassinet? I have gone to buy buy baby an... 12 replies
- co-sleeper, pack n play w bassinet, mini crib/travel crib...
- we borrowed an arm's reach co-sleeper, but if we had to do it again we'd go out and buy the pack n...
- We had both of these as well. The co-sleeper was never attached to my bed, it sat in the living room and is very pretty...
Talk : : October 04, 2009
Does anyone have a good recommendation for a bassinet? I have gone to buy buy baby and babies r us and their selection all seem so cheap and flimsy. I don't want to spend the money on the stokke because we are only going to use it for the first couple of months and I have a convertible crib (but want the baby closer in the beginning). What do most people do? TIA!
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]10.04.09, 05:38 AM [ Flag ]I bought a moses basket from Amazon from Badger Baskets for $30 and it was fine for the few weeks that we needed it for.
[ Reply | Options ]10.04.09, 05:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i bought one at target and was cute and ok for the month or less we used it.
[ Reply | Options ]10.04.09, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]borrow a cheap one.
[ Reply | Options ]10.04.09, 05:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Restoration Hardware Baby and Child. We loved the moses basket. It comes with a holder that also rocks back and forth.
[ Reply | Options ]10.04.09, 05:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]cariboo bassinett
[ Reply | Options ]10.04.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had a moses basket for my two kids and LOVED being able to have them around whenever I needed them. Go to http://www.lullabybassinets.com - they have a great selection of moses baskets and monthly specials. I was able to get one of the specials when I needed it.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 08:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]pack n play with bassinet
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]co-sleeper, pack n play w bassinet, mini crib/travel crib
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we borrowed an arm's reach co-sleeper, but if we had to do it again we'd go out and buy the pack n play w bassinet
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had both the arms reach mini cosleeper and the pack and play with bassinet. I preferred the arms reach. We did not attach to the bed because we have a dog. The muni cosleeper can be rolled right out the bedroom door so you can move a sleeping baby into another room with you or out of a room that will become noisy (turning on dishwasher). I always kept my baby right next to me so I liked that feature. Can't move pack and play through doors without collapsing. Pack and play changingattachment was nice though.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We had both of these as well. The co-sleeper was never attached to my bed, it sat in the living room and is very pretty and very sturdy. The pack-n-play was in my room. We had a changing table for diaper changes.
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
basket with handles
[ Reply | Options ]10.05.09, 10:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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