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[+] Any fall birthday moms that have btdt - if you opt not to attend public k in the fall... 2 replies
Talk : : November 21, 2009
Any fall birthday moms that have btdt - if you opt not to attend public k in the fall in which your DC turns 5 (hoping for private K) and wind up shut out of privates for the next year... what happens? can u still send dc to public k the year they are already 5? Are you unable to try for public gifted programs then?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.21.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag ]no, that is not true....my dd is in k in a private and she would have been in first grade had she gone public. she is testing for FIRST grade for g&t. i think op may be able to have her child placed in k if her child is in prek now.
[ Reply | Options ]11.21.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Going to a friend's db's birthday party (1 year). How much should I spend on a gift? 5 replies
Talk : : November 20, 2009
Going to a friend's db's birthday party (1 year). How much should I spend on a gift?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 03:19 PM [ Flag ]how good a friend? $25
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]very good
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]then up to 50
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]good,that's what i spent. was wondering if i spent too much!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]good friends, and if your spending was within your means (won't make friend feel like you overextended), you're fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 03:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] It it ridiculous to think our dc would be a lock at Trinity as long as she aces ERB a... 13 replies
- I think it depends on how many sibs and legacies. Then on how many connected dc w a better connection than yours. Then based on the spots that are left, the gender/birthday balance....
Talk : : November 20, 2009
It it ridiculous to think our dc would be a lock at Trinity as long as she aces ERB and child visit goes well? Dh and I are smart and present well, interesting jobs, offer ethnic diversity, but are not super rich. We have a very strong contact (board member) who will advocate for us, but are we fooling ourselves that we have a great chance? Obviously, not sib or legacy. Thanks for any insight.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag ]no one is a lock anywhere
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Bingo. You said it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what does your board member contact say? s/he knows better than we do
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that she doesn't think we'll have a problem
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The answers are yes, it is ridiculous, and yes, you are fooling yourselves. Nothing is guaranteed until of course it is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]depends on how many sibs and legacies they already have. did you ever consider that your stats are really not that uncommon? I bet there are more than a few families in your exact position there
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there are no locks when it comes to private admissions. Make sure you apply to other schools. It's fine to have a first choice, but don't rely on your contact's opinion. There are always more great applicants than open spots.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If your attitude is the same in the parent interview as it is in your post, you will surely be locked OUT.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it depends on how many sibs and legacies. Then on how many connected dc w a better connection than yours. Then based on the spots that are left, the gender/birthday balance.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We offer diversity, DH and I are academics/private sector, DC aced the ERBs, good visit - yet we were dinged at Trinity. Perhaps, our contact wasn't as strong, lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it's far from a lock. Know a family that was a legacy, huge contributor, visible family diversity (non-traditional), great ERBs, nice kid and the dc was not admitted. This process is unpredictable.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope your very strong contact doesn't read this board.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]In this circumstance, it will entirely depend on how strongly your contact is advocating for you behind closed doors. Your DC's ERBs and your personality/jobs/interview weigh hardly at all in the Trinity equation.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Has anyone with a still 3 YO scored above 142 on the SB? 24 replies
- The test is scored in age-bands (3.9-4.0 at time of test are scored differently than 4.1-4.3). My dc took it before 4th birthday and made the cut-off last year....
Talk : : November 20, 2009
Has anyone with a still 3 YO scored above 142 on the SB?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag ]days before 4th birthday. yes.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well that's one. Wonder if there are others..
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
my friends son--about 6 weeks before his 4th birthday. 155.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Did he end up going to Hunter?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this was 2 months ago. he has to get through the second round first.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do they have to ask you to enter the 2nd round? What does that involve? My ds got a 143 so don't think he will make the cut-off.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think the cutoff is posted sometime in mid-december. then you get a letter or a phone call, I think. I'd have to refer to the note we got with the score, which is at home.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^I'm the poster above, by the way.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
dd tested over 2 mos before 4 bday(while stilled rared by %iles for HCES). Hit ceiling on sbV. Tester requested a consult w/us/no fee.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]rated
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm pretty positive they adjust for age, so if the kid is only 3.9 it is scored differently than if he were 4.2.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you are correct--they adjust for age. (hunter parent)
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The test is scored in age-bands (3.9-4.0 at time of test are scored differently than 4.1-4.3). My dc took it before 4th birthday and made the cut-off last year.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm curious, what do you think they were looking for in round 2? just the normal, social behavior you would see at any school playdate or is there something else?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]From what I've heard, it seems that they are doing another assessment test, in groups. The observers are some of the psychologists who were the 1st round testers. So I think they are interested in the kids' performance on individual and group tasks, and also how they work together. And not just how well they work together: They want to know and balance leadership roles, collaborative styles, etc. I gather that it's more than just playing nicely together. But I don't have a direct in at the admissions office; that's just what I've heard, and it may not be accurate.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. the whole process is above my head, I think.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
mine did. Tested about a month before 4th Bday
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 11:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mine tested 5 weeks before 4th b'day. Got 155.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wonder why all UB moms kids test so high on the SB.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You assume a fact not in evidence. Perhaps only the UB moms whose kids scored high are posting their scores.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and lots of us make up shit here, to enjoy the reactions!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is the SB the same as the Wechsler?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]age is TOTALLY irrelevant. It's scaled directly against kids your own age and adjusted for percentile. In fact, to be 3 YO means you are arguably up against a strangely small group, since almost nobody tests at that age.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, we just moved from CA, originally Tokyo, and we chose LoveALot Preschool bc they're the only schl in the city that draws from Stanford University's early childhood Education program (most private preschls offer out west) and also offer Japanese classes which is mandatory for our family.
[ Reply | Options ]11.21.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Am I being too sensitive? I turned 40 December of last year and dh asked me if I wan... 14 replies
- If you really wanted the party, you should have reinforced this, checked in with him about it around the time of your birthday (and been clear about what you wanted him to do). Yes, sure, it would have been great if he'd thrown you a surprise party all on his own, and he should NOT have blown it off (though by dropping it yourself you possibly gave a mixed message) but you are also at fault for...
Talk : : November 20, 2009
Am I being too sensitive? I turned 40 December of last year and dh asked me if I wanted a party (I threw him one for his 40th). My initial reaction was no, but then I decided, hey! that sounds like fun. My birthday came and went and no party, so I figured he was waiting until all the holiday season madness was over. Well, Jan/Feb/March also came and went and no party, so I started to think he forgot. He never mentioned it again so I asked in the spring if he was planning the party and he kind of blew it off. Now, my bday is approaching again and each day I get angrier that he never planned the party. He is a procrastinator, and perhaps he thought I would say no, but he asked and I accepted and then no party??? He also went overboard on my Christmas gifts last year, so in hindsight, I think that was his way of "making up" for not doing the party, but he never acknowledged it this way and I'm extremely hurt by it. I'm also very angry about it and feel like it's a slap in the face from someone I think is selfish, so having trouble letting it go...
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag ]You said no, didn't you? Or did you tell him you changed your mind?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I initially said no, but later that same day said yes. He knew I changed my mind because we talked about how to get my wide-spread family together.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you really wanted the party, you should have reinforced this, checked in with him about it around the time of your birthday (and been clear about what you wanted him to do). Yes, sure, it would have been great if he'd thrown you a surprise party all on his own, and he should NOT have blown it off (though by dropping it yourself you possibly gave a mixed message) but you are also at fault for holding on to this and playing the blame game, instead of gently making sure it happened. If you want a party this year, talk to him about it early, maybe even help him. That way, he gets to help you get want you want, and you get your party. By keeping score this way, you do your marriage no favors.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did. See my response above -- we discussed the logistics and I left it to him. I asked him if he needed help and he said no.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think it's OK to be hurt that he wouldn't just do it, but it also sounds like you were sort of expecting him to fail and setting him up to do so. Did you give him a list of people you would want there or any ideas as to type of party or venue, or did you just keep quiet? If you were providing helpful hints/guidance and he still blew it off then he is just an ass not an ass with a wife who wanted to confirm her DH is ass.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is the latter: he is just an ass. I told him to have it at our place with catering as opposed to an outside venue.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^meant it is the former.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Figured that out - sorry your dh is an ass. Have you ever told him that you were/are pissed?
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, I have mentioned it several times since it became evident no party was forthcoming and he has no excuses or reasons why it never happened. I honestly think he just thought the idea would go away if enough time passed. My mom is shocked and appalled (of course!) that he asked me if I wanted a party and then never planned it. I truly believe he only asked because he thought I would say no, but if that's the case, why didn't he do something else that was special for my 40th? We did nothing, by the way.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Parties are over-rated. It sounds like your marriage could use a boost, why don't you put that anger (and $$) towards a trip away for the two of you.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Parties can be over-rated for sure, but the point is he asked and I accepted. I agree that our marriage could use a boost, and perhaps I'm using this "forgotten" party thing as an excuse to be angry with him, but he has a pattern of selfish behavior and I'm just really running out of patience here. I am not going to plan anything for the two of us because I really can't even stand to look at him these days!
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: get it out on the table, as clearly as possible. let him know: a) you're hurt that he blew off the party; b) it's a bad sign that the two of you have not been able to address it for this long; c) apathy and passivity is not ok in the relationship -- if he wants out, then start taking steps; if he wants in, then it has to *get engaged*
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i can sympathize, op. my b-day came and went in august and not so much as a card, let alone a present. i told him exactly what i wanted (an aeron chair or similar-- i work from home and i'm tired of our crappy office chair), still nothing. it sucks, and it's hurtful. dh is an ass.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry your dh didn't step up either. What's with them? Sheesh.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Planning a boys first birthday party in manhattan. Most guests do not have children ... 4 replies
Talk : : November 20, 2009
Planning a boys first birthday party in manhattan. Most guests do not have children but there are a few. Kids vary in age from 1 year to 10 years. Any ideas of places good for adults (food and drinks available) but where the kids won't be bored to death. Group is about 50 people - 10 kids/40 adults. have looked everywhere on line and having no luck - HELP!
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.20.09, 05:50 AM [ Flag ]I went to a 1st bday party where the parents rented out a restaurant. They hired a magician for entertainment. Obviously, the 1 yo was oblivious, but the other kids were entertained.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you can have it at any restaurant and hire a singer to come and sing. Ages 0-5 like the singers. Not sure how fancy a location you would like.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Try the Park on 10th avenue and 16th street. It would be good for all ages
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How posh and which neighborhood. V&T on Amsterdam @11oth is a classic setting for the casual option. Add Loony Lenny and it's a hit w/kids.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] DS bombed coding but the rest of ERB was great (and overall 95). Will the coding pro... 35 replies
- No, she will do fine if the birthday is before May...
Talk : : November 19, 2009
DS bombed coding but the rest of ERB was great (and overall 95). Will the coding prob prevent us from TT?
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 06:43 PM [ Flag ]My DD bombed coding too and overall got a 98 and PSD said to write off TT girl's schools. We ended up not applying anywhere anyway, but would have taken her advice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow, i guess there's no hope for my dd although i find it hard to believe that so much rides on coding. what score do you consider bombing?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think she got like a 99/something crazy like 70 or 80 something/98, which I thought was statistically impossible, but because they weigh the verbal and she apparently got all of her verbal answers in the correct range, she managed to pull off a 98 overall. Her write up was great too. It could be that the PSD was trying to save us from real disappointment, since this was pre-application. It wasn't enough of a gap to make us think about evaluation, but a few points more and we would have...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
98 is good enough.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np How badly could she have done if she still managed a 98 overall?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]really? our PSD said to write off coding and schools don't care, at least for boys, as long as all of the other categories of performance are good.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's what she told us. The performance scores shocked us. The verbal scores seemed to reflect who she was pretty well and the narrative was spot on. I was pretty amazed that the tester got her so well. It may be that the PSD didn't want to have to work on our exmissions since we seemed so ambivalent about the whole thing. This made it easier for her too...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np; well, at girls schools, most girls who score 99 and 98 also do well in coding, and they expect girls to have advanced fine motor skills to be able to pull off coding part. They ask girls to hop on one foot and walk up the stairs, etc. So they do care. But what were the other perfomance section scores? I can't believe you'd get 70/80 from one bombed coding.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. Coding was my dd's lowest score by far, but she still got a decent (low 90s) score.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Honestly can't remember - some were high and one was a 63. I wish I could remember which one - clearly not one that was weighed particularly heavily.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Then coding was not the only subtest she got below 90. I think TTs were out also because of the spread. 20 pt spread would trigger a red flag for possible LD.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LD?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't think this is right -- I think a lot of kids who do great on everything else bomb coding. More boys than girls, but still isn't uncommon at all. Not an LD sign.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm talking about the SPREAD (20+)... it doesn't have to mean LD but TTs don't want to bother finding out.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's LD? late developer?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]learning disability.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]are you kidding me? getting 75-80 on any of the performance categories indicates learning disabilities? that's nuts!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, the SPREAD raises a flag. The spread between verbal and perf.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so with my dc's 99 v and 81 perf, i can kiss tt goodbye even with good playdates and school report?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not say good bye but just realize it might trigger a red flag and they may be looking more carefully at your dc for any signs of LD or whatever.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]very discouraging to hear that my dc may have LD although here on UB would be the first place i've heard of it. dc's preschool teachers have not said anything of sort and report cards show age appropriate or strength.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Again, does NOT mean your dc has LD or even might have any LD. I'm only talking about these schools who can pick and choose whoever...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Right -- some are weighted more heavily. DS got mid-60s in the coding but still got low 90s on performance b/c high 90s in every other subtest.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]all are weighted the same. all the scaled scores are added together for a total score and then assigned a percentile.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wow, I would apply anyways with that score. My DC got 95 with low verbal but lots of schools seem to like him (keeping my fingers crossed).
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your psd gave you this advice, not because your dd bombed one subtest but because she had a low overall performance score. my dc completely bombed a performance subtest but the overall performance score was still pretty high. didn't make any difference to the schools and no one asked about it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes it may
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Anyone kind enough to explain what happens during the "coding" part of the test? What are they asked to code?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]copying shapes, writing with a pencil.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you should do a search on "coding." Last year everyone thought coding was the least important subset and lots of boys get low scores because of their fine motor skills.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DS goes to a "TT" school. He got a 98 overall and coding looked like 30th percentile or so so no, it didn't hurt him.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wow... this is the first time I've heard that a low score on coding could be an issue?? DD scored well on almost everything (99x3 overall) except coding (got 75). Would TT really ding her for having one low subset? jeezus - who *DOES* get into TTs??
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 08:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, she will do fine if the birthday is before May
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 05:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This same set of scores was not an issue for DS at TTs. 2 accepts. I do think girls tend to score better than the boys on coding though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not at all. don't worry about it. your dd has a stellar score. whether she gets into a tt or not will depend on how she does on the playdates and a lot of luck.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] IT FINALLY HAPPENED. I brought cupcakes to my daughter's 6th birthday at school, and... 27 replies
Talk : : November 19, 2009
IT FINALLY HAPPENED. I brought cupcakes to my daughter's 6th birthday at school, and a little boy asked, is that your mom or your grandma. It wouldn't even have been quite as bad (though still awful) if my dd had not been there. She said defensively, that's my mommy! He said, oh because she looks kindof like a grandma. I am 45 but stress had made me look older for sure. And I have a 4 year old! Being a granny mom is HORRIBLE. How do I put it behind me, since this will only continue and no turning back now?
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 03:27 PM [ Flag ]Do you color your hair? Hair color and cut can make a big difference.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you let yourself go? Maybe a haircut and some Olay Regenerist or something would help.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, I have not let myself go, I get my hair cut and colored every 4 weeks, dress "youthful", etc. But I have had a pretty hard life in many ways and have various enormous stressors, it shows, I have aged about 20 years in looks in the last 8 years. I
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm really not sure what I can do about it, those injections are so expensive and require upkeep, I look REALLY old, no wrinkles but much worse than that, skin that sags so you'd never guess my age (which isn't young anyway). I just don't want my kids always being asked why their mom is so old, I could deal with it better if it were just my thing, but don't want them to be humiliated.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: every kid is embarrassed of their parents for some reason. i really, really would not worry so much about your kids being humiliated--this would happen even if you were twenty years younger. moms will always be too old, too young, too fat, too thin, obnoxious, too shy... you can't win. how old you look is the least important part of being a good mom!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. My dh's parents were 21 and 23 when he was born. He said his mom was always talking about how much younger they were than other parents, and he never thought of them that way--they were just his parents. The reality is this is my issue--I really really wanted to have kids younger but it did not happen. IT is definitely something I am extremely sensitive and quite unhappy about, though I try not to let it suck all the joy out of my fabulous dcs. For someone who feels differently, the comment might bite less.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm like your dh's parents--i'm really self-conscious about how young i am! i had my son at 23, and i always feel like people see me as a teenage mom. i also try to tell myself that it's just my issue. for a while i tried to "look" older, but then i decided that i was being silly, and i am who i am. we really can't win :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]obviously much better to have your problem!!! Good for you. I am jealous. Enjoy!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Definitely know how you feel! I agree with previous about gray hair -- definitely makes a huge difference. Also, try not to be so upset by a six year old. Though my son asked me on Tuesday why my butt is so big, and I signed up for Weight Watchers,
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, the point is, others think it, just not everyone says it. I've been getting for years, in amazement, "Are those your kids?" but no one actually ever implied it was at grandma level.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
kids do get more polite as they get older.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And guess what. It will never stop. You'll only get older. So, relish your age! You are what you are. Just laugh a lot. Wear bright colors. Tell the kids jokes. They'll be so enraptured no-one will think of your age, just how great you are! Good luck. (FYI: DC is 5, I am 51).
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm really sorry that happened to you. FWIW, when my MIL comes to visit and takes my 5 YO son out, everyone thinks she is his mom! She is fifty-five. There are tons of granny moms in this city, and you should not feel alone. Just think about all the great things that come with age and that you can give to your dd. There are tons of advantages to being a little older, wiser, and more settled!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know how you feel. 41 y/o, DD is 5 y/o, hair is still naturally brown. Was knitting and another 5 y/o asked if I was a grandma, because it seems that only grandmas can knit.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np LOL. I suspect the child would have asked a 25 yo she saw knitting the same question.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally agree. THis has nothing to do with how you look (and you are not even an old mom by pretty much anyone's standards).
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Granny mom here. No one has been so horrible to comment on it yet (sorry about that!). Keep up with your hair color, keep your weight in line and wear at least a bit of makeup. I don't think the mid-30s moms have a clue that I am 43.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. I am literally considering plastic surgery because of the sagging, but can't afford it, and am afraid of looking totally different and just weird, not younger.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - Oops. I actually totally I forgot. I did have my eyelids done a few years ago. That helps a lot. I had one of the top surgeons on the West Coast and I just look the same only 10 years younger. You have to be very very careful about who does the work. I think it was only about $3000. I wouldn't be able to do it in this economy so I'm glad I did it when we were feeling flush. Still, I really do recommend it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]By the way, I'm sure you look absolutely fine as it is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
and i was upset my dd's ballet teach thought i was the sitter....at 39
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've been getting the sitter thing since my first was born. But grandma is a whole other category. It means looking at least 10 years older. Older moms often talk about getting mistaken for the grandma, but I wonder if that is really true. I know quite a few MUCH older fathers who get mistaken, but they are way way older (like 60s) and it is different anyway, I think--not as socially "egregious".
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 03:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what exactly is sagging?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]most people on this board wouldn't even know. That's why I know I'm in a different category. TOo much stress, bad genes, pregnancies and "other factors" have really taken a toll. Consider yourself lucky if you have to ask.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]still wondering...what sagging is
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or which parts are sagging?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
don't fret.. .i had a v. poochy, out of shape, graying, deli counter guy (did i mention that he was gross) ask me if i was grandma. my retort was well, if i am grandma, you must be great grandpa! it really stopped him in his tracks.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 04:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Does anyone else's child NOT have playdates? I woh f/t and have 2 dcs. weekends tend ... 49 replies
- randomly at the playground but at home, it has been lovely watching their play develop from bickering to setting up a store to inventing games and building forts in the living room. They both beg for playdates, they get them at birthday parties and a few times a month. School and school events give them more time with peers. They are both very social and leaders in their classes. I've forced them to deal effectively with difficult differences and it shows in...
Talk : : November 19, 2009
Does anyone else's child NOT have playdates? I woh f/t and have 2 dcs. weekends tend to be family time and if we do playdates it's with friends that dh and i want to catch up with. My younger dc who is in preschool is begging for playdates which is just hard - have an after school babysitter but also older dc would have to tag along...and I don't know when else to fit this in but i feel guilty. Someone tell me I am not the only one.
49 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag ]I don't but I have twins. I feel guilty about it but I don't think it really matters.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can older DC do drop-off playdates while sitter takes younger DC to his/hers?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]time to do drop off playdates
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe you should put the pre-schooler in an all-day program like CADS.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]believe me if there was an all day program available i would - could stay longer at preschool but costs $ and difficult with schedule of other dc. older dc doesn't really do play dates either...see - i feel like i am raising two socially inept kids.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but that's even worse! school is not a playdate.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think play dates are important for developing more intimate relationships and a chance to socialize one-on-one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ha - signed a sahm i bet.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I work until 1 or 2 and then pick kids up at school and either have a friend dropped off with me or drop one of mine off- or have other parent pick up mine and hers and then go pick up at about 5.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]doesn't really work if you work until 5 and have a dc with homework to get started on too
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What do your dcs do from 3 when school ends until 5 when you stop working?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they are with babysitter - sometimes go to park or bookstore - stuff around neighborhood or come home to have snack/play with eachother. depends largely on weather
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can babysitter handle dropping kid off at play date or looking after another kid for an hour or two?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My babysitter used to have other kids (and the other kid's sitter) over to our house - or the library - or met up in the park.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hijack - what kind of work do you do where you are off by 1 or 2? always looking for ideas for part-time
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm a preschool teacher.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
tee hee hee. signed: wohm mom, who has a little guilt that 5 YO DC doesn't have many PD. one or two a month max.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't think you have anything to worry about. They get lots of socialization at school. I was in a similar situation as you and my kids who are now a bit older are social and form great friendships.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is sort of like saying adults get plenty of socialization at work.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah if you got to spend most of the day playing, painting and clownging around with your co-workers
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so dumb. all of my friends growing up (that i chose, i was forced to play with my mom's friend's kids) were from school.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^and by the way, I've also formed great friendships at work. Still fiends from old co-workers at my first job out ofcollege over 10 years ago.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you seem to be missing the point. you form friendships at school and work but you see/saw those friends outside of those contexts.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Started doing drop off playdates when dcs were 4. I work FT but have an au pair who shuttled the kids. I don't think kids will suffer if they don't have them but it doesn't hurt either.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]when I was a kid i just played with my brothers. Now have an only child now and i thought that daycare (before she was in school), then school and now that she is older, after school activities she had plenty of social interaction. i guess you need to do playdates if you dont get out of the house much. certainly play & solcial interaction is important; glad i never had to run my schedule around setting up play appointments though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not to make too big a deal out of this, but an arranged playtime with a special friend is different from "social interaction" with random dcs you meet out and about or in the context of some other activity, like afterschool. in this day and age, setting up play appointments is sort of part of the deal of being a parent.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]agree. but i think it can get out of hand when a child's every day is scheduled with playdates and not just "play". not to flame, but i think a lot of playdates are sought in an effort for the mother to gain access to certain social circles, not necessarily who the child would choose for their date. My point is that too much importance can be placed on the playdate. It can seem like there is a competition for certain friendships.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't do playdates because I think it is more important for my children to bond with each other than any other children. I have a 7yo boy and 5yo girl. They play with others randomly at the playground but at home, it has been lovely watching their play develop from bickering to setting up a store to inventing games and building forts in the living room. They both beg for playdates, they get them at birthday parties and a few times a month. School and school events give them more time with peers. They are both very social and leaders in their classes. I've forced them to deal effectively with difficult differences and it shows in their interactions with friends of all ages. I value the relationship my kids have with each other above friends who will come and go.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But don't you think seeing little friends is important as well, but in a different way? I know a lot of families who feel as you do and it just seems like something is missing from the kids' lives...even if they do get along well. It kind of is a normal thing to have non family playmates, isn't it? I would see it as enriching the sibling relationship, to have other personalities and experiences. I know I need to interact with a variety of different people.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]friends at that age will come and go....
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
isn't younger dc out of preschool before older dc is out of school? or could nanny arrange dropoff playdates for older dc and take younger one on playdates herself? make this the nanny's problem. also, i think it's a little selfish of you to make your weekend socializing all about you and dh.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nanny should be making play dates.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can older dc do an afterschool activity or program one or two days a week? This would replace "playdates" because if itwhile he could be doing something he enjoys
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ because if he likes it he'll be socializing
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]again, not the same. "socializing" and hanging out with a bff and doing things of your choosing, not a structured activity led by an adult, are two different things.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
while i don't think that playdates are the end all be all, i also think that it is a legitimate request from your dc. clearly he or she really wants to spend some more time with preschool friends. I think that once a week your sitter can handle a playdate. Most preschool kids either have a babysitter or a SAHM who can bring the kid to your house and your older dc can either go home with a friend sometimes or bring a friend over sometimes. I can't udnerstand why this is so hard.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was you last year--while play dates aren't essential, when your kid starts asking for them, they are socially important. Why not just host them all? Invite other sitters and moms to your place--people are used to doing that when there's a younger sib at home.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am in similar situation. Have found it works well with other siblings (eg. sets of kids the same age). Also, many people in NY have babysitters, so email moms and ask if your babysitter can arrange a playdate with theirs. Host first, then most will not mind your other dc tagging along if your babysitter has them under control. Or, try to sign older DC up for a drop off program and do playdates with the younger one around then.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't understand the problem. I have a preschooler and an elementary school aged child. I WOH f/t and have a baby sitter with the kids in the afternoon. They both have plenty of play dates. My older child's play dates are drop off, so she goes home with a friend or the friend comes home with her and our baby sitter. With the younger child, the baby sitters both stay. If it doesn't work out that older child is at someone else's house when younger child has a play date, older child comes or they all play at our apartment. Both of my kids have always played with one another's friends.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]MY Step DD who is 8 doesn't have playdates. Her mother works and she goes into after care after school. I feel it has really hurt her socially. She has no close friends, does not get invited to parties etc...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why>? are there no kids in the after care?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i've worked since dd was a baby, she's always attended afterschool programs and has tons of friends and a great social life. I dont really understand your point. Maybe she is just shy or the kids dont like her...?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i good nanny should set up these playdates for you--i think more than needing it, preschoolers like having playdates. or you could always arrange them yourself and then send your sitter or host them at your house. i dont think being a wohm is a good excuse and most of these responses sound self righteous. are playdates critical, no, but kids enjoy them and it's good for them.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think you've got to do the playdates. i work f/t too (and so does dh), so i understand where you are coming from. we just try to make playdates as easy as possible, and usually do them with other woh parents (most of the parents i know work full time). we'll take turns dropping off for a weekend afternoon, take another kid along to the zoo or museum, whatever. also, do you live in an apartment? if there are kids in your building that you could help dc connect with it is SO much easier. our ds plays with other kids from the building everyday.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My DC rarely have playdates. DH is a SAHD, which makes the whole thing a little difficult. (I wonder how many of the ladies going on above about how essential playdates are would actually schedule one with their DC's BFF if he/she had a SAHD.) I'm not all that concerned about it. They play a lot with each other (they're less than 2 years apart), have cousins close in age that they play with one-on-one, play with friends on the playground after school and a lot of stuff like that.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I view playdates as part of life - I like opening up my home to friends and I expect DCs do as well. You can manage it if you work, just a different schedule. Friends are part of life especially for children. I think it is important to learn how to be a good host and to deal with different people outside the family.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was you last year, and now I accept invitations and then reciprocate, but I don't seek them out. I have to say it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be to get into the rotation and reciprocate, I leave work a little early or work from home that day and finish early, then pick them both up and take them somewhere or bring them home. I do this about once a month and it is manageable, and I do see that ds is learning something from it, how to be a good host, have a friend one on one, do what someone else wants to do, offer a snack, etc. He is in aftercare and that is very social too, the kids there have lots of friends- it is a different kind of socializing though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do what's right for you family but playdates one-on-one are different then just being at school and are important for social development and conflict resolution. Of course if they have a sibling and parents they are probably getting that at home on the weekends anyway! But I'd try to get one in every now and then.
[ Reply | Options ]11.20.09, 07:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Need idea for birthday party for 6 y.o. DS. What's the most fun boy's birthday party... 5 replies
Talk : : November 19, 2009
Need idea for birthday party for 6 y.o. DS. What's the most fun boy's birthday party you've been to in NYC?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.19.09, 07:33 AM [ Flag ]intrepid
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]interesting. what do they do there?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Skating at Riverbank
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bowling
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]chelsea piers ice skating; baseball center; organized games in central park. intrepid was cool, but the dads were more into it than the 5yos - maybe it would be better at 6 or even older.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 10:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What's wrong with my 4 yo? He's addicted to Thomas and friends. He would only wear Th... 10 replies
- OP - not really. He gets gifts for holidays, birthdays, before we know it, he's all about thomas....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
What's wrong with my 4 yo? He's addicted to Thomas and friends. He would only wear Thomas T-shirts, watch Thomas videos, play with the engines and tracks, he's skip the playground, demand to go home after school, is it supposed to be that bad?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag ]Mine did 48 piece puzzles at this age, what do you mean not on the spectrum?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Be thankful you'll avoid the Disney Princesses.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]a bit old for the Thomas thang
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not really - I know many boys 3-5 that love thomas.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are the parent. you control the tv. you bought the shirts, toys. and now you are complaining? i personally hate thomas, and never let ds, now 3.5, watch it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - not really. He gets gifts for holidays, birthdays, before we know it, he's all about thomas.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ds was given thomas toys. and i promptly put them in the closet, never to be seen again. oh, the thomas engine? not sure where it went....
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: most people don't realize in advance which toy will turn dc into a total addict. maybe you are clairvoyant.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]most ppl would realize too much of anything is a bad idea
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It all shall pass, trust me. Signed parent with about 80 trains at home. (Btw, I grew to like them - believe it or not). And I have dd. Best memory is looking for Giggling Trucks giggling in the bedroom in the middle of the night (the roof was pushed down by another toy).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Birthday party for a 3 yr old. Should you open presents while guests are still there?... 5 replies
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Birthday party for a 3 yr old. Should you open presents while guests are still there? or open presents after everyone leaves?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 07:25 PM [ Flag ]after everyone leaves. mom of three.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]after
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]after
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]open during party if you are prepared for at least one guest to have a meltdown.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]haha. totally agree
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Does it make sense for dc to take ERB twice? Once in the early summer and, if we don'... 6 replies
- A lot of kids get tested twice. My dc was because we applied two years in a row (having been declared too young on account of a summer birthday in the first go-around). I don't think you can take it twice during the same admissions season, however, unless dc was really sick and then you would generally have to recall the first attempt long before you see the score....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Does it make sense for dc to take ERB twice? Once in the early summer and, if we don't like the score, work on the weak areas and take it again early fall?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 05:02 PM [ Flag ]LOL. Not allowed. Once per admissions season UNLESS psd is prepared to go to erb office and say your kid was so sick he couldn't function.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, thanks. Getting ahead of myself I guess.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The ERB office willnot allow you to take the ECAA two times in one admissions season unless your pre-school requests it and there are serius concerns as to its validity. I've never heard of it actually happening.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know 3 dc who were tested twice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]A lot of kids get tested twice. My dc was because we applied two years in a row (having been declared too young on account of a summer birthday in the first go-around). I don't think you can take it twice during the same admissions season, however, unless dc was really sick and then you would generally have to recall the first attempt long before you see the score.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no. All of these were retested in the same season. But apparently, the second results have a big stamp on them that indicates that it was a retest--so the schools are aware.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] newly separated with 2 young dc (7 & 5) - wondering how others handle holidays > do y... 7 replies
- not separated myself but a child of divorce. If you can get along over holidays, that sounds nice. My parents split them (and I never thought one or the other was rejecting me), though they did come together on my birthdays, graduations, school performances, etc. Sounds like your dh does not want you there for thanksgiving, which is fair enough i guess (though you could ask, of course)....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
newly separated with 2 young dc (7 & 5) - wondering how others handle holidays > do you celebrate together or separately? dh and i get along in public / in front of the dc. i think we should share holidays b/c that is best for the kids but i initiated the separation so it might be easier for me to say that than dh. dh "has" thanksgiving and hasn't invited me to his large group celebration.... i'm just afraid that the dc will think i don't want to be with them at thanksgiving. tia for any advice from people who have btdt.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag ]not separated myself but a child of divorce. If you can get along over holidays, that sounds nice. My parents split them (and I never thought one or the other was rejecting me), though they did come together on my birthdays, graduations, school performances, etc. Sounds like your dh does not want you there for thanksgiving, which is fair enough i guess (though you could ask, of course).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto, from another child of divorce. my parents split the holidays, i didn't feel rejected as a result.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
separately. I think it is confusing for kids when parents try to keep celebrating holidays as a family. Kids are smart enough to know that things have changed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]if you celebrate together you run the risk that the kids will be fantisizing that you're getting back together.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]kids are old enough that you can explain things. a lot of my friends w divorced parents used to split the day when they were younger. ne parent got "lunch" and the other "dinner" for example. another friend, her mom's extended family would celebrate Thanksgiving on Friday, so that she and her sister could be there the years that she was with her dad the actual holiday. So she got 2 Thanksgivings those years.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: I tried to "split" holidays as a kid (meaning the kid goes from one celebration to the other in the same day). It was AWFUL!!! These things always run late, both families put pressure for you to stay longer/arrive earlier. One year I ended up missing the holiday meal entirely because of the need to commute in the middle. Thursday/Friday is fine, but not the same day. My 2 cents (still recovering).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
thanks, everyone - really appreciate your feedback. it's a hard transition.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Why does it bug me that my SIL only addresses DC in the thirs person? It makes me nut... 7 replies
- OMG, word. my sister does this. also, she refers to me to dc as "mom." as in, "what did mom buy you for your birthday?" if only she knew my dc has, from the age of about 3, found this totally patronizing....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Why does it bug me that my SIL only addresses DC in the thirs person? It makes me nuts!! And now, DC only addresses himself in third person. My brother doesn't get it. Sigh.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 10:33 AM [ Flag ]her dc, or your dc? If hers, myob, if yours, you can say something to your brother first, then address her. I wouldn't at all, but if dc is picking up a habit you don't like, you'll need to.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: I'm venting. Relax. It's annoying.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
probably becasue seh bugs you inother ways. btdt (except it was feeding a child who didn't need help)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMG, word. my sister does this. also, she refers to me to dc as "mom." as in, "what did mom buy you for your birthday?" if only she knew my dc has, from the age of about 3, found this totally patronizing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you want her to say "your mom" or refer to you by name? If you are asking dc what he did with your mother would you say "what did you and Grandma do?" or "what did you and your grandma do?"
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: I would say "What did you and Grandma" do, definitely. I'm not sure why the "mom" construction bugs me so much. I honestly think DS does it deliberately to be patronizing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op: lol, glad to no I'mnot alone. I actually think it makes it more difficult for my nephew to be conversational because he doesn't use the word I. Ever. Crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Non-visual diversity and only applied to 6 schools, most tt. Too few? 36 replies
- np: Yes birthday is the wild card here, even stellar ERB will not do anything if dc is deemed young....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
Non-visual diversity and only applied to 6 schools, most tt. Too few?
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 09:12 AM [ Flag ]yep, if you're committed to private or you have a connection
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]here's the math. since acceptance rates are around 10%, you need to apply to about 10 schools. of course, depending on the kid, you could still get shut out or have multiple accepts
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There's still only a 10% chance you'll get into each of those 10 schools. That's like saying that since it's 50:50 whether you'll have a boy or a girl each time, you should have two kids and you'll have one of each.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i know i know ... i was a math major in college. the events are statistically independent (actually, in applying to schools they're prob not). the point is that with such low odds generally, you need to apply to more
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ERBs? Zoned for good public?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ERBs excellent. Public school would be acceptable as an option though we'd prefer private
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]poster from above. if that's the case, 6 should be enough
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: agreed, 6 should be ok. Why pay for a second or third tier private if you have a decent public option?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
99 or lower?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]99 x 3
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Should be fine (unless DC is too young), no need for the diversity card
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Yes birthday is the wild card here, even stellar ERB will not do anything if dc is deemed young.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Depends. What is the diversity? Although I think 8 is always a good number.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What's non-visual diversity mean?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Speaks multiple languages? One parent from another country?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That to many schools is more relevant than visible diversity.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]disagree--only visual diversity counts at any of these schools.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op: single gay parent. On the outside, just a single parent (non-visual) but diversity in that we're a gay family
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: oh, well then, you're in. Don't worry about it. 6 is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]god, you people have no shame, do you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]excuse me? Is that supposed to be funny or something?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, it's not. your sexual orientation entitles you to privilege in admission? i hope *that* was supposed to be funny (it certainly is "or something").
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I sure think it does--she represents a kind of lifestyle diversity that I want my dc to be as aware of, respectful of, and comfortable with as any other kind of diversity, visible or not. It's not that she "thinks she's entitled to privilege," it's that she is, in fact, more desirable than you and me from any decent school's perspective, and I'm happy about that. -np
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i think it depends on the school as to whether this "diversity" matters at all
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: It matters at every single school in new york.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How will a school know you're gay? Are you planning on hitting on somebody during the interview?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly. diversity!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The school will presumably ask about the dc's father and want to know about the family makeup with any single parent. She would have to actively hide it to have it go unnoticed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, but who the single mom chooses to sleep with shouldn't really enter into it, should it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and op would either say "dc is adopted" or "I had dc with a sperm donor" or "dcs biological father sees her/doesn't see her". How does "I'm gay" come into this unless OP wants special status?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: I have been outright asked about the parenting situation in interviews--which, frankly, pisses me off. I'm not going to lie about it so I say that I had dc w/former parner and we split up. Then they ask if "he" is involved at all and I say that no, "she" is not.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It shouldn't piss you off: they're trying to assess the stability in the child's life - if someone is currently separating, etc. You can't hope that your gay single status will work to your advantage, then be annoyed that they want to know more about it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]YOu can't have it both ways OP, both hoping to benefit from being gay and objecting to being asked about it. Very hypocritical.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What about a little rainbow lapel pin?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Depends on your kid. We had no diversity and applied to 7 (5 of which were tt) and did fine.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we got into top 2 choices (strong erb etc), but still applied to 10. Too fearful of a shutout--think of the extras as catastrophic insurance---also, I actually found it interesting seeing all of the schools--logistical nightmare for 2 working parents but we did it
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What are you wearing when you are at home and your husband is with you? Do you change... 42 replies
- Only if it's our anniversary or his birthday or something. Other that, track pants and a T-shirt it is....
Talk : : November 18, 2009
What are you wearing when you are at home and your husband is with you? Do you change when he comes home from work to look special or put make up, etc? We have 2 DC's, I am SAHM, used to change into something nice and look good for my husband but lately let myself go.. usually wear training pants and a t-shirt. I love jeans but don't feel them comfi to wear at home in the evening.ANy other options? Thanks
42 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.18.09, 08:02 AM [ Flag ]I wear pajamas. He almost never sees me in clothes during the week because he leaves for work early and comes home late. On weekends I wear jeans during the day and dress up if we are going out at night.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto. PJ's and sweats almost always.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto - i occasionally feel bad about and recently considered make up, but so far it is only in the theoretical stages.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^ (not really PJs but shorts / sweats /leggings and T
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I try to look nice all the time. I don't per se change into a whole other outfit but do try not be in pajamas the whole day, and do refresh my makeup (just lipstick).
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i work at home and wear yoga pants with a sweatshirt. sexy!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]can you show me an example of yoga pants?! Where do you buy it? Thanks
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i get mine all over the place, but always buy them fairly cheap, under $20, from target to tj maxx, etc. lulu lemon has them but $$$: http://shop.lululemon.com/Lulu_Pant_II/pd/c/560/np/560/p/1407.html
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I usually take off my work clothes and put on something like sweatpants and a tee shirt.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too, and my husband strips down to his briefs and undeshirt. We're a sexy couple, what can I say?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]purrrr...;)
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]please tell me he keeps on his dark socks
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's my husband!! Dress shirt, boxers, dark socks. Oooh baby. Can't make this stuff up.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my hubby is opposite. i had to train him to take off his suit when he gets home so he doesn't get dinner all over it. now he will change into pj pants when he gets home. i didn't think guys were trainable!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Absolute truth
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, and the undershirts are pretty badly stained too. THough my husband's gorgeous so still looks good.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
me too! the day is long and my pajamas are so comfy! he does the same thing a lot.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
June? Is that you?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Only if it's our anniversary or his birthday or something. Other that, track pants and a T-shirt it is.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? DH is one of the few people in front of who I can just let myself go. Why would I want to dress up for him?
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow I am amazed at how many women wear sweatpants. To answer the question though. I could care less about how my husband sees me. I don't have to dress up for him, he surely doesn't for me. I like to wear make up and dress nice for myself though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You think sweats warrants a "wow"? That's all I wear unless we're going out. I have three young boys. Wow.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is this 2009 or 1963? I mean really.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am a sahm and super not fancy. dh gets home late, but I try to keep my day clothes (jeans, t shirt, sweater, etc.) on, brush my hair and put some lip gloss on before he walks in the door. I don't think he would care if I were in pj's, but I guess I do for some reason. I don't cook so this is as good as it gets here.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't you just want to be yourself for him? He knows who you are? Why do you do this? I truly do not get it. My husband has seen me w/make up, w/o make up, naked, dressed, sick, healthy, pregnant, vomiting, etc. He loves me no matter what I look like, and why on earth would he care how I dress at the end of the day at home???????
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]of course. I like to stay dressed when he gets home. I feel a little better after a long day with 3 kids. that's me. and I like when he puts a little effort in as well. it's nice to care after many years together--like when we would go out on dates so long ago. he has seen the worst of it and couldn't care less. He's the best. you didn't really get what I was saying.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I get it. I think it's silly. And kind of sad.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow, I really can't see why. we have an hour a day together, and I look forward to it. whatever though. we're happy. I hope you are too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I guess I don't get it either. I've been married a while and I really could care less what I wear around him. I'm a SAHM mom too and he doesn't see me until late at night, if I'm awake when he gets home. By then I'm wearing whatever if anything at all. If I bothered to look nice he wouldn't notice anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, I guess lip gloss and hair brushing don't feel like a big effort to me, and it makes me feel a little nice after being with three little ones all day. I don't see why that's sad, but to each her own.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is sad that your husband wouldn't notice anyway..
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, i meant to post for the above poster.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is dumb. do you shave your armpits? or your legs? i mean, i guess i could keep the hair long on it because it doesn't bother me at all, but I don't want to "be myself" that bad. I know he loves me, but we are visual creatures at heart so yes, I will keep waxing/shaving my legs. He does the same for me...ex shaving 'down there', etc. even tho he would probably grow a huge rainforest if he was single
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ladies who don't make an effort for their husband are being a bit cavalier with their relationship. The sex industry in NYC is alive and targeting your man every day. Reality bites.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh go blow a hose.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She does, and that's why she's still married.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this may be taking it a bit far...but really why not look great for your DH? Make sure the jeans or whatever fit well and are flattering. I guess I am in the minority but I never wear sweatpants for longer than an hour after I get up...and I make sure those flatter me. It means more for me to look good for my DH than to look good for school pickup, for example.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
old tee-shirts (usually his)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mostly sweats. i only change & do makeup when i leave the house. he cares more about what's UNDER the clothes anyway!
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm probably still in work clothes when DH comes home.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I take off my work clothes and put on comfy stuff - knit pants, tshirt and hoodie. DH is usually wearing the same kind of thing. I also wipe OFF my lipstick when I get home bc DH hates it when I wear makeup. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.09, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How common is it to offer 'benefits' such as paid vacation, holidays, etc. for a PT n... 5 replies
- Had a p/t nanny for a few years and we never offered anything other then the hourly fee. Of course we always gave $$ at christmas, birthday but that was it. We always informed each other of holidays way ahead of time....
Talk : : November 17, 2009
How common is it to offer 'benefits' such as paid vacation, holidays, etc. for a PT nanny? I am only looking to hire a nanny 3 days/week, and I'm a bit uncomfortable offering a full set of benefits for a PT job. It just doesn't make sense, I wouldn't expect benefits if I would be looking for a PT job. However, the persons we're interviewing have quite interesting requests. Anyone BTDT?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag ]If you want to be competitive/generous, you could offer 1-2 weeks paid vacation. Assuming you pay $100/day for 3 days....a week of paid vacation = $300. No holidays. Like I said, that is competitive/generous, if you don't care about that, no need to offer benefits. I offered one nanny two weeks paid vacation and 10 holidays, and she only worked 30 hours a week on average, but we wanted to keep her VERY happy, because we loved her. It was also our second year with us, she was our weekend nanny before that, with no benefits.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I've always given a regular pt nanny benefits. Two weeks vacation, but of course, each week is only 3 days long, so it's less money. I also pro-rate Monday holidays if that is her regular day (i.e. I'll give her 3 of 5 as vacation days) and I also pay for any holiday that happens to fall on her work day -- some years it may be quite a few, some years none.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
IME, when you are dealing with set hours, rather than someone you call up when you need her, it is customary, at least in NYC, to give pro-rated benefits. So you pay if you go on vacation during any of her set days, you give her a week or two of vacation (which in your case is 3 or 6 days) you pay for major holidays that fall on her regular days.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Had a p/t nanny for a few years and we never offered anything other then the hourly fee. Of course we always gave $$ at christmas, birthday but that was it. We always informed each other of holidays way ahead of time.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What's a good gift for First birthday (boy)? Can't think of anything not generic... 7 replies
Talk : : November 17, 2009
What's a good gift for First birthday (boy)? Can't think of anything not generic...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 11:48 AM [ Flag ]push pull ride on toy, classic alphabet wooden blocks, bath toys
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Books! Soooo many great ones. You can never have enough.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
little people's garage, push toy, big plastic dump truck
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. and once they hit two? Get a Playmobile vehicle or something every chance you get -- b-day, christmas -- they add up, they all go together, my 6 yo STILL gets them out from time to time
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh, i remember my Fischer Price garage. Loved that thing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my son loves his still -- he got it for his 1st Christmas (almost 1) and he's now almost 2
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
etsy has a handmade wooden car carrier with a car. it's sooo adorable and was a big hit with the kid i bought it for.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Any Jews on here who put up Christmas trees? I'd really like one, they are so pretty... 45 replies
- Well, there's lots of Christianity teachings that I don't agree with, as a Jew (which I realize is different from Christ's teachings). But, lets not forget, at birth, Christ was jewish, so really, it's just a birthday party of a nice jewish boy. :)...
Talk : : November 17, 2009
Any Jews on here who put up Christmas trees? I'd really like one, they are so pretty.
45 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 11:11 AM [ Flag ]We do. They smell great (if you get a fresh one) and can be beautiful. Sometimes a bit hard to find non-christian ornaments, but check out places like macy's and lord & taylor - they have gorgeous ones!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Good to know. I guess I am just worried that my Jewish friends would think ill of me.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That would change the pronunciation of Christmas to that L'Chaim sound.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We do too! In my book (and for my home), it's not a religious item at all. It smells great and the kids love it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wouldn't anything that wasn't an angel or a cross, or a baby jesus be non-christian? Just curious.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - yes - but a lot of times there's angels/crosses/jesus on the ornaments. There are plenty of beautiful ones that are not christian-themed too, depends where you're shopping (e.g. there's an adorable ornamanent shop in the Bryant Park holiday booths, and all of them are religious, or at least there was one of those last year. It was disappointing).
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are no Jewish angels?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There is a concept of angels in Judaism, but not the same way as in Christianity (to my, admittedly limited, knowledge). Anyway, typical angel portrayals that you see around the holidays are very distinctly Christian (to a jew)
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes. I have a lovely collection of handblown glass ornaments.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]"Christmas" trees were originally pagan symbols for the Winter Solastice.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mine stil is. we call it a solstice shrub and put a sun on top,
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i love that - solstice shrub!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm thinking of the opening scene of "Last Night at Ballyhoo."
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, sure. and as far as I can tell, they are secular! tis the season.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lets stop being so sensitive to this--lets face it, Christmas is the best all around Holiday on the face of the earth. Take the Jesus thing out for a second, but oh by the way, no one could argue with the teachings of Christ--I don't care about whether he is the son of God or not--good strong teachings and a very fun Holiday!!!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL, beats Hannakuh by thirteen miles
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, there's lots of Christianity teachings that I don't agree with, as a Jew (which I realize is different from Christ's teachings). But, lets not forget, at birth, Christ was jewish, so really, it's just a birthday party of a nice jewish boy. :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am Roman Catholic and don't believe in much of the teachings, but we can deliver a fantastic Holiday......c'mon, this must have been how Jews for Jesus started..some Jew wanted to break away from the boring dradle thing!!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hey - noting wrong with the dreidle! Lets just say $$ for 9 days straight is nothing to sneeze at, esp as a teenager!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Jews need a better PR firm.. Hannakah with 13 (?) days of gift giving...damn its like the days leading up to the Super Bowl. 13 days, that alone could topple the tree in my apt. Also you need more songs, the ones you have, well suck!! Our PR firm has not rolled out a new hit in decades, so the creative team must be available.."spruce" it up..13 candles, why not Roman candles..torch it up!! more ideas later, must get back to my accounting job
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is too funny
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]except there are actually 12 days of christmas.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: My impression is that you could do a lot with the gifts, too. Nasty chocolate coins and a week's worth of socks is no match for the Grinch special, a living room full of gear and cookies out the wazoo.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]isn't hannukah 8 days and not 13??
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ha! I love this!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I love this!! LOL.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]are you channeling harvey cox?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I prefer Thanksgiving (which always comes with a 4 day weekend and no religous complications) and Halloween (which provides a unique opportunity for playfull mockery). And, don't forget that the various Christian sects have very dif interps of the teachings of Christ; it'd be impossible for one person to agree with all of the versions. And those teachings were not distilled into the testaments (much less written down) until long after JC had left the scene.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It's not something I would do. But yes, they are pretty.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]While we're on the Christian vs. Other Religion thing... (hijack). My little boy, who was baptized Episcopalian, wants to know if people with other faiths have Godparents, or something similar? I had no clue. Anybody?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]catholics do.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that would be a good title for a movie
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm all for Christians and Jews just getting along, and enjoying the beauty and richness of both the Judeo-Christian commonalities. We actually have a lot more in common than we do differences!
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]never ever - hard enough trying to keep telling 3 yo that we do not celebrate christmas. Anyway -= call me scrooge but I just can't stand all the christmas stuff - it's all marketing and it now starts before thanksgiving - ugh
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 03:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh please enough with the standard refrain...oh Xmas is so commercial..its so commercial, because its so beloved..we capitalists would love to commercialize say Sectretarys Day but who likes it but a few woman from Queens..Xmas I submit is loved or s/b loved by all...the songs make people happy..the candies..etc...I feel sorry for Jews like you..no one wants to convert you..its not Christian Science..its Xmas..even though you live safely in NYC, is that you are always thinking the homeland might be lost that does not allow you to simply enjoy a fun Holiday sorry, holiday...lighten up..shalom, and jingle bells
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hey... did you notice the name "Christ" in Christmas? Funny, it also shows up in "Christ-ian". It's not a Jewish holiday. End of discussion.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTA! And sorry, OP. Your friends WILL think bad of you for the tree. You wanna admire? Look at Rockefeller Center! Solstice or not, Xmas hijacked the tree! And PS, there is a LOT more th Chanukah then chocolate coins, and they are not nasty!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 03:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
don't feel sorry for me. No reason for me to enjoy or celebrate a holiday that isn't mine - why should I? That's just silly. We have Hanukkah. I do enjoy the day. CHinese and presents and lots of wine
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 04:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Did all the previous posters anti-celebration ever wonder why there is a correlation between your refusal to just accept the happiness of the Holiday (and if you want--the "teachings" of Jesus (the Jew) and the anti-Semetism that exists. Maybe thats why you don't get "bipartisian" support for the sanctity of the homeland because your nature is never to concede anything. I know the persecution of it all--go eat your crappy chocolate coins...and sing your also shitty dradle song--why the rest of us enjoy the tree and turn the other cheek versus an eye for an eye
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]holy moly. if teh jews jsut embraced christianity, that would end anti-semitism? wacky and also not true.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]- [ Removed by moderator ] [ Options ]11.18.09, 09:35 AM [ | ]
i'm not jewish. or christian. or pro-settlement.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am christian and have to say you are a weirdo! I prefer Thanksgiving to christmas HANDS DOWN. None of the gift stress, actually a focus on something nice instead of presents, great food, two days off of work leading into a weekend, maybe it won't be too cold, football, I could go on and on!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: oh my gosh, you are a basketcase. you think anti-semitism exists because jews refuse to celebrate the birth of christ? wow. i hope nobody on this board thinks you speak for us christians!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Personally, I think it's better to put your efforts into focusing on who you are, not who you aren't.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's an effing decoration. Get over yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.09, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If your dc is in private K, what's the birthday month of the youngest dc in the class... 23 replies
Talk : : November 17, 2009
If your dc is in private K, what's the birthday month of the youngest dc in the class?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag ]May
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can you specify whether coed or ss? Thanks
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ also ds or dd if SS.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]coed k-8
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ditto. co-ed K-12
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]same ss girl
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
June ss dd
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]coed,K-12, august
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]which school?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]friends
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Late June and early July
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what type of school?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Most kids are from old summer (August) to March. There may be a couple of kids from April-July. Maybe one old July kid. Young August is maybe one per grade. K-12 coed.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do think that they try to take one young summer so that they can say they have one-- but for example at our girls ss, the young summer left after k. she was july.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why did she leave?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
May, Grace
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]October turning 5.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]school?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
August
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^co-ed, K-12
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
early june coed
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]October
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 03:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Youngest is a late June DS. Oldest is an August DD (she has a twin brother). co-ed K-12
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 03:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] When do you think is the best time of year to have a baby? Starting to think about TT... 13 replies
- according to the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, people with January-March birthdays are much more likely to succeed academically and in sports. That said, mine are...fall babies so even worse for mine. wasn't the reasoning for early year birthdays in Gladwell's book due to school cutoff dates, meaning the January kid is older and bigger/stronger than those with later year birthdays in same class?...
Talk : : November 17, 2009
When do you think is the best time of year to have a baby? Starting to think about TTC #1... Thanks!
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag ]according to the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, people with January-March birthdays are much more likely to succeed academically and in sports. That said, mine are summer babies and I loved being able to take them outside without stressing about the cold weather. Too bad they are destined for mediocrity :)
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i have fall babies so even worse for mine. wasn't the reasoning for early year birthdays in Gladwell's book due to school cutoff dates, meaning the January kid is older and bigger/stronger than those with later year birthdays in same class?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used to think like you, i.e. being able to control when I would actually have a baby. Boy was I wrong. Just got for it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]agree. naive thinking
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op: so you didn't think at all about preference for a winter Bday vs/Summer etc? Just wondering...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no. I just wanted a baby.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i wil admit, when it came time for #2 i thought about timing it so we coudl do private and public K the same year. but bottom line is you have no control because it can take 1 month or 6 or more to conceive
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think spring would be the best. However, most people really can't plan it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is there a time that is best for school admissions?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]fall for private
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
January. I have a Dec dc so we will test for public G&T this year and depending on results make decision about public or trying for private next year. If we get shut out of private he'd have to go to public 1st grade. Sep - Dec is bad for this reason (and August and July esp for boys).
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]summer is awesome, you can take the baby out every day all day...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Spring seems best to me...you're kind of stuck indoors for that first month, then the weather gets nice just as you're ready to get out more...
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Any present idea for 18 year old nephew? Off to college next year so something good ... 9 replies
- $40 or so, birthday gift, I'll also need to do something for Christmas for about the same amount...
Talk : : November 17, 2009
Any present idea for 18 year old nephew? Off to college next year so something good for college could work. We usually do Best Buy or B & N gift cards but trying to think of something new. They don't live in NY.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag ]Small speakers for ipod. If he has one.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Agree. Ipod dock/speakers that is also an alarm clock is great. do you know where he's going to school? if going to a different weather climate, some clothing. maybe something from american apparel?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Budget?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]$40 or so, birthday gift, I'll also need to do something for Christmas for about the same amount
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP Could you ask his parents? Or maybe g.c. to ITunes?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we're going to ask but wondering if there's a great idea out there that we are missing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maybe nice track jacket? (Thinking AA, my 16 y/o DS is really into it). There is a place in Brooklyn where you can buy them significantly cheaper, and also on ebay/amazon there are stores that sell them new or cheaper.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm out of it,what's AA?
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 10:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Is he into any pro sports teams? College guys seem to wear a lot of hats and the "official" teams hats can easily be $40 - you'll have to get his hat size.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] ok- got invited to a girls only birthday dinner in the ny with a group of v fashionab... 6 replies
Talk : : November 17, 2009
ok- got invited to a girls only birthday dinner in the ny with a group of v fashionable moms. restaurant is nice but not super fancy-- what should i wear? i am an idiot when it comes to putting an outfit together. tx
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.17.09, 05:54 AM [ Flag ]slim knee length skirt with tall boots. Simple top, one piece of great jewelry. Make sure your hair looks its best.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks MOM.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not at all dear. And please, don't glob on the makeup. You look so much better fresh and natural, hon.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]actually, depends on age- around 35 make up starts to eb really necessary- you loomwashed out without it, and your eyes need a ltitle mroe definition-
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
any suggestions where to shop? or brand suggestions
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]These are all basics this season. Go to Loehmann's and buy stuff that fits you well.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 06:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 3yo girl birthday gift suggestions. we barely know her, but are close with the parent... 7 replies
Talk : : November 16, 2009
3yo girl birthday gift suggestions. we barely know her, but are close with the parents so taking dcs to her bday party.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]11.16.09, 08:56 PM [ Flag ]American girl baby doll.
[ Reply | Options ]11.16.09, 09:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]isn't 3 too young and aren't they expensive?
[ Reply | Options ]11.16.09, 09:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, no. About 40/50 bucks. Or else get Mother Goose book, they love them.
[ Reply | Options ]11.16.09, 09:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: thanks. any other suggestions?
[ Reply | Options ]11.16.09, 09:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Duplo is always a hit. My 3yo loves playmobil too. Blocks. Wooden puzzles, especially the ones where they make noises. A Tutu would make you very popular.
[ Reply | Options ]11.16.09, 09:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There's a difference between the Girls and the Bitty Baby Dolls. Definitely too young for the girls, but OR is right that the doll would be good plus there are different sets available so I think you have more leeway in choosing how much to spend.
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
magnatiles
[ Reply | Options ]11.17.09, 04:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]- [ Removed by moderator ] [ Options ]11.17.09, 09:34 PM [ | ]
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