• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Help me name my baby boy! Due in 2 weeks and still have no name. Most important criterion: must work across cultures. Last name is Jewish. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:06 AM Flag
»
Which cultures? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
Judeo-Christian /euro/Franco/Latin.... You get my point. Not Asian or Afro. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:09 AM Flag
»
Jewish? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:12 AM Flag
»
Michael or Mark [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:08 AM Flag
»
Michael [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:08 AM Flag
»
Obi Wan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:09 AM Flag
[ - ] NP: No. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Whokebe is a loser. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:58 AM Flag
[ - ] new to NYC. Which subway lines are the express lines that don't stop in between uptown and downtown? thanks 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:53 AM Flag
»
Well, there aren't any that don't stop between uptown and downtown, they just skip certain local stops. NYC Kickmap is my favorite subway app. Consult it often, then after a while you won't need to anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:00 AM Flag
»
The 4 train and the 2 train [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Drinking in a hotel lobby in California. Tell me your problems? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:43 AM Flag
»
not attracted to husband anymore. what to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:46 AM Flag
»
how old are you? do you SAHM or work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
40 SAHM probably midlife crises I know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:59 AM Flag
»
You're still young. But think beyond attraction. Do you love him? Enjoy spending time with him? If so, I think you guys should try to spice things up. Buy new toys, watch porn together, etc. If you don't love him, well, don't waste anymore time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:06 AM Flag
»
I love him like a family member (e.g. brother) because he is a good person but not like a lover if you know what I mean. I have lost sleep over it because I do not want to get a divorce and hurt the kids. Nothing helps, sex is dead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:10 AM Flag
»
Talk to him about it. Maybe you can open the marriage. It's worth a shot. You dont deserve to be unfulfilled forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:13 AM Flag
»
What do you appreciate about him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:55 AM Flag
»
well he is a good dad and husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Np - what did you used to be attracted to about him? Did that change? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
I'm in love with a man old enough to be my father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:49 AM Flag
»
who cares? age is a social construct. embrace it. you love him. are there any other parts of this that don't work or is it just the age thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:52 AM Flag
»
Only things directly related to age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:57 AM Flag
»
what are the ages [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:02 AM Flag
»
SO if it is sex, there are drugs for that. If it's an unwillingless to do certain things, well we have a whole world with endless opportunities, surely you can find something to enjoy together? If it has to do with kids, it will pass in a few years.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
depressed. it doesn't get better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
i have dealt with so many people in my life being depressed. it is unfair, it's hard and it sucks. but it can get better. have you talked to anyone about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:54 AM Flag
»
My mother is a religious nut who thinks it's the End of Times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:53 AM Flag
»
Is she doing anything detrimental? Like spending all her money on a bunker? If so, try to get POA. If not, just let it be and make your interactions with her a drinking game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:55 AM Flag
»
Nah she's poor. No worries. She is a quack though. Believes in the illuminati too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:57 AM Flag
»
Drinking game... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:06 AM Flag
»
NP - what do you mean? The end of the world? She believes it is coming soon? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:56 AM Flag
»
Yep. She believes a bunch of crap about the end is near. What is the mental illness? Schizoid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
Not usre the mental illness, but sounds like delusions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:10 AM Flag
»
Jehevoh's Witness? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:13 AM Flag
»
Jews? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
You know...I fundamentally do not understand hatred towards jews. It seems like something people say just to be edgy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:08 AM Flag
»
No REAL problems, I suppose. Just wish DH and I had more money, better jobs, could travel more. Would love to be on an island in the Mediterranean right now. Where in California are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:04 AM Flag
»
Oh me too! I am in San Francisco for work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
That's nice - are you from CA originally? How's the weather out there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:11 AM Flag
[ - ] After a very on and off couple of years I have officially ended my affair and i feel good! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
»
How could you possibly keep up the charade/lying for so long?? Last weekend, I lied to dh about the cost of a service we had done at home (paid for part of it with a check that he would see on the bank statement and the rest in cash) and I was having such anxiety/physical symptoms just off the lying/sneaking... Can't imagine the toll an affair takes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:30 AM Flag
»
How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:32 AM Flag
»
It's easy when you are a TROLL. Collapsed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:37 AM Flag
»
Why'd you end it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:52 AM Flag
[ - ] WWyd? My 15 month old is getting over her first cold. It started last Monday. She has not had a fever since last Wednesday morning (so going on a week) but is still mildly congested and coughing on and off. She goes to daycare once a week on Fridays, when I do consulting work. I was going to bring her this Friday, but I got an email from them yesterday saying they had an outbreak of HFM last week, and one of the kids' siblings was recently diagnosed with pertussis. Should I skip this Friday? If not for this email, I probably would have brought her, but now I'm not sure. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:08 AM Flag
»
Don't take her in. Was it an unvaccinated older kid or a baby who got pertussis? You are lucky though to have avoided colds until 15 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
»
Op. Thanks, that's what my gut said too. She only just started daycare one day a week last month, and before that was with me, so that's probably why she's been so healthy until now. They didn't give details about the pertussis. FWIW, I don't think she got the cold at this daycare - she came down with it almost a week after the last time she was there - but still, better safe than sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
[ - ] if you plan to have dh bottle feed breast milk sometimes, is a bottle warmer helpful? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:53 AM Flag
»
yes,no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
If you can avoid it, don't heat milk up. It's not necessary. It is so much easier to give to them cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Jenna Elfman is such a Bitch. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
What did she do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:58 AM Flag
»
very high on her pedestal. also, she's a Scientologist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
»
np - she hasn't been in a film in 20 years, no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:06 AM Flag
»
Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
»
I didn't know she is a scientologist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:31 AM Flag
»
»
I liked her. Haven't heard much since Dharma and Greg. She was just too quirky or something and got typecast out of playing serious leads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
»
she is an actress and played the role of the quirky hippy. that's what you liked. she is a snob IRL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
I have never heard of this person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:04 AM Flag
[ - ] MIL here. I hate that my step-son has DCs and my DD does not. It bothers me on such a deep level that I can't bring myself to be around his children anymore. What can I do? I'm so upset. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:47 AM Flag
»
Get help and get over yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:48 AM Flag
»
Why are you so mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:49 AM Flag
»
Why are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:43 AM Flag
»
Start knitting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:49 AM Flag
»
how old is your step son and your dd? what was your step son's age when you married his dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
They are the same age, which I guess is why it bothers me so much. They were both 5yo when I married his dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
You sound unhinged. You really SS doesn't give a shit about you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
realize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
why does this matter? op is the one upset here. and since she has known him since he was 5, it's very likely he does care and wants her and her dh to have a great relationship with his kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:58 AM Flag
»
Mkay [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
put yourself in the kids' shoes, which should help you change perspectives and get a grip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:57 AM Flag
»
are you close to your dss's dcs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:57 AM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:08 AM Flag
»
he shouldn't start life until your daughter hits benchmarks first? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
»
Wow you sound toxic. Try practicing being a good person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
How old is your dd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
She's 33 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
Fat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
»
She's engaged to be married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
»
She was also a child model. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
»
Np: so she peaked really early and you have been devastated ever since? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
»
No, everyone thinks she gorgeous now. She didn't peak early. Why so mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
»
Do you feel close to your SS and to his kids? Why do you think your dd hasn't had dc? Is she married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
I feel close to his children. I refer to them as my grandchildren. I think my DD hasn't had children because she's been dating a man who is a decade older and she travels a lot for work - she's in consulting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
This is why it's hard to have blended families. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:01 AM Flag
»
Another crazy ass girl mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:45 AM Flag
»
You can try not to be such a weirdo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:20 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm worried if I get therapy for my PTSD that it will take away the passion I have that drives my desire to study social work and do social justice work. But I want to stop feeling all this pain. Do you think passion is rooted in feelings or in intellect, or in both? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:46 AM Flag
»
How are you going to help other people if you don't help yourself? People are emotionally draining and you have to bestrong for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:48 AM Flag
»
op: true. So you don't think there are any downsides to the therapy? rapid eye movement desensitization therapy to be more specific [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
No downsides to improving yourself. From what I've read social workers get jaded pretty quickly. Many think they are going to change the world and quickly realize these people's problems are very deeply rooted. Like the homeless man given $100k only to be broke again in 6 months. I say heal your PTSD. It's possible you can still care about people without the handicap of PTSD. From what I've read people with PTSD are never completely cured or reverted back to their old self but treatment does help them manage their lives better. You probably will still retain the positive benefits any PTSD has put you through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
What is your current career? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:49 AM Flag
»
op: social work student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:51 AM Flag
»
Are you fresh out of high school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
»
op: social work is a graduate program, like law school. You have to complete undergrad first. At least that's how it is at every school I know of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
»
Let me get this straight. So you think if you heal your PTSD that you will be suddenly not care about social justice? I can only assume your desire to help others is actually an extension of your desire to help yourself? So if it goes away so will your desire to help others? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
op: I worry my passion and drive would go away and I would just be following the motions if that makes sense. But maybe I'm wrong and the therapy will make me better and my work will not change. It's just a fear I have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
Fear is the key word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
I think if you get therapy for your PTSD, you'll become all the more effective in your career. I predict your compassion for others will remain, but with the added benefit of having let go of your personal triggers. You will be better able to separate others' problems from your own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:56 AM Flag
»
op: thanks, this is well put. I do often get triggered and have to suppress it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:01 AM Flag
»
Think about how handicapped you would be if you got triggered while trying to help a family in need. It's like the airplane mask rule. Assist yourself first then help others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
»
i speak from experience. you cannot do good work as a social worker, or anything else in this field, if you have unresolved issues. resolve them first. then decide what you want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
»
op: okay, I'm going to call tomorrow about making an appointment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:01 AM Flag
»
What caused your PTSD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
»
op: ongoing domestic abuse from preschool to college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
»
Child sex abuse survivor here studying to be a child psychologist. Therapy has done wonders for me and fueled my passion for helping abused children recover. I'd be more likely to be growing through the motions without therapy than with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:05 AM Flag
»
np That makes sense. You feel good and you want to help others feel like you and get better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:08 AM Flag
»
Exactly that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:10 AM Flag
»
np What helped you get over the trauma? CBT? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
»
Oddly enough, it wasn't CBT, though that's the most effective for PTSD. I did some exposure therapy but mostly traditional psychodynamic therapy. Honestly, I think the most important piece of therapy is establishing safety and forming an alliance with the therapist. And I found the right fit for me. I still go, though not as frequently as before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
»
It's funny you say that about trusting the therapist. I was in therapy working on my issues and markedly improved in the span of a week. My therapist was happy but what happened was I reconnected with a family member who was sort of the source of some of that pain and I got into a better mindset after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:09 AM Flag
»
OR-Sorry. I meant "going through the motions" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
»
Give yourself permissions to be primary beneficiary of that healing drive/passion. Wouldn't you tell a client to do the same? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
It's amazing. I know a person exactly like this. In the same boat. It's amazing how similar people can be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:10 AM Flag
»
You will be in a better situation to help your future clients if you have your own issues out of the way and addressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
I think anger and emotion are the best motivator. Not the most healthy but to get stuff done yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 04:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Reading the responses to the SAHM/finance DH who wants to become a PhD student was strange. I was a SAHM and applied to PhD programs all over the Northeast - we used to live in NYC, but moved to Florida for DH's job. I was accepted to a great program and had to relocate to the CT with our DCs and DH had to stay behind for his work. He commutes to Connecticut 3-4x per month and you all told me that I was a total bitch for making DH do this and told me that I was ruining our family. Yet, you are all about supporting the DH in this other situation. Seems like UB just hates women. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 AM Flag
»
It depends what the crowd is like on here. Yes, you will often find a love of misogynists on here- possibly of the self-hating female variety. It's really sad actually. I think it says much more about the woman who hates other women than it says about women in general. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:41 AM Flag
»
x1000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:44 AM Flag
»
Whichever way the wind is blowing... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 AM Flag
»
You don't see the difference here? Your situation is two working parents. Her situation is one working parent and one SAH parent. I don't think you ruined the family, that's crazy. Great for you for being a role model for your kids and showing them that love overcomes obstacles. But I think the SAHM in the other post should follow her DH because her job is not location specific. Her preference is location specific but not her job. See the difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:49 AM Flag
»
People lambasted me before because my decision forced us to maintain two different homes - one in CT for the kids and our old home in FL for DH. My job pays $22K a year in stipend, which is used up within a matter of 3 months due to our childcare/housing expenses. I have five long years + 2 years of fellowship before I am making money and there's no certainty that I will have a job. It's a huge investment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
np. Well when you put it this way, it is hard to see the upside. I wasn't one of the blasters, btw, but I do think it will be hard to manage without DH, unless you have help. Signed Biology PhD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
»
Well, I'm 2 years in now and I have had help. There's no way that I could do this without help. I am not sure where I'll get a job - my hope is a hospital. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
»
Wishing you luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:21 AM Flag
»
The fact that you make less than him is irrelevant. You and your DH both have location specific jobs. The SAHM in the post did not. You're trying to view it as a power struggle, when really it's just a matter of practicality. It's not about "the best person gets to go where he/she wants", it's about what makes practical sense given the variables for the individual family. Now if you had turned down a Florida PhD for a Connecticut PhD, sure I would say that's selfish. But I'm assuming you only got into far away programs and being long distance was the only way to go. SAHM poster could SAHM from anywhere. It's not a location specific gig. See the difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
»
Sorry. That sounds crazy to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:06 AM Flag
»
My DH and I are long distance right now due to a similar situation, but we don't have kids yet. It's been 7 nights so far. 8 months to go. I cry most nights. We don't have DC yet. I heard the first week is the hardest. Waiting for it to get easier. Any tips? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
I am pretty busy with the kids and work, so I don't cry, but it would be hard if I were alone. We Skype. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:56 AM Flag
»
can you go visit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:51 AM Flag
»
CT=Yale=VBA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:53 AM Flag
»
maybe she's at University of Connecticut. Why the need to try and cut others down? There are dozens of universities in the state of Connecticut. chillax [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:55 AM Flag
»
This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:57 AM Flag
»
yes, but I still think OP is Yale and it's 100% a vba [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
»
I highly doubt Yale would accept a SAHM into a PhD program. I vote UConn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
»
huh? You know nothing of PhD programs. Why wouldn't a program accept a SAHM? Assuming that she had graduated from college and met the prerequisites of the program, she would be good to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:19 AM Flag
»
PhDs are very competitive. Recent experience in the field is a must [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:55 AM Flag
»
And I know quite a bit about grad school actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:55 AM Flag
»
Yes UB hates women and particularly SAHMs. But some women thoufht he was wrong for wanting to go to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
»
There's an obvious difference between both parents relocating for one's job, and one parent living with the DC in a different city than the other. I have done the former, would never do the later [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
»
THIS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:36 AM Flag
»
So say your DH's had an office in CT and he could have moved with you, but didn't because he had once been to CT and thought it was kinda icky and plus he hates the cold. Would you have thought that was OK? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 03:24 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions