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[ - ] S/O Who is the more frugal partner in your marriage, you or DH? I'm definitely more frugal and over the years I've had to learn to not sweat the small stuff like when DH doesn't comparison shop. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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My dh is penny wise and pound foolish. I am both more frugal and have a financial plan/big picture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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We're frugal in different ways. I'm a maximizer and will spend a lot of time and energy looking for the absolute best deal, which drives dh crazy - he says time is money and that spending an extra hour to save $50 is self-defeating. OTOH, I like to buy good stuff and he's strictly practical, would never spend up for luxury furniture etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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Husband is. I bargain hunt and am a good shopper but he not be frivolous in his buying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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DH. It's also that I like "stuff" and he does not particularly care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I hate hangovers 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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I have to meet yet the first person who loves them. Take some Ibuprofen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Once I figured out his quirks, DH turned out awesome. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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What are his quirks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
[ - ] What's the best procedure for anti aging? Is laser good? Peels? Too afraid to use Botox... Ugh, the needles and don't want my face to look frozen. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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A mix of those, plus topical retinoids and sunscreen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Toxicologist relative told me no Botox for cosmetic reasons, ever. Beyond that, frankly, I think it's more about eating well, sleeping, maintaining a consistent weight, exercising, sunscreen and genetics than anything else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] How would you feel if your nanny made sensory bottles with or for your children? Assume they are BPA free. would you let your children play with them or do you think anything that comes from the nannies home is gross? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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You sound like an ass. I would be thrilled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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this. What kind of nanny do you have, that you would be worried about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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I am the nanny. My employers have weird rules and I can't quite pinpoint their reasoning. I want to make 19 month old sensory bottles. I will be with my nieces and nephews this weekend. I just don't want them to be upset with me for doing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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Ask them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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you mean like, an empty water bottle that she then put glitter or rice in? Whats wrong with that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Yes. I was planning to dump the water into a pitcher so no ones mouth is on the bottle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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The fact that you are questioning this, makes you an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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what are sensory bottles? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Do you have kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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np I do and I have no idea what these are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Basically a water bottle with a liquid and some other things floating in it. You can do water sand and shells. Water and rainbow loom bands. Blue soap with fish beads. Feathers in bird seed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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I would supply the bottles she needs, I don't know how her house is like, are the bottles clean? who drink from this bottles? You never know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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See above. lol I like you. I think you think like my boss. I'd dump the water into a pitcher so not to waste or maybe pick up some storage bottles at the container store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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Umm...your nanny comes from "the nannies home"..and try to punctuate the possessive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
[ - ] In the throes of a depression. Crying all the time, can't eat, can't sleep. Absolutely will not go on meds. Tried it and it was a disaster. Nothing t do but l hope I can pull out of it. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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people swear by exercise -- I would try that and also meditation. And get light every single day. Good luck to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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+1, great if you like any group classes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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Do you live alone or with someone? If alone, make sure you talk to someone (friend, neighbor, colleague) everyday. Isolation compounds depression, even if it is the most natural reaction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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I am on a new med Brintellix and its changed my life. Try it. It was approved by FDA just 6 months ago [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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There are lots of meds ... just because one was a disaster does not mean they ALL will be a disaster. Maybe think of it as a temporary way to get through a tough spot. Good luck to you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Why are Chinese people so OBEDIENT to authority compared to westerners? For example, during the "Great Leap Forward," tens of millions of Chinese people were simply ordered out of their homes and into communal barracks. If Obama tried this in America, there would be immediate armed rebellion and civil war. But in China, people just meekly obeyed. Why? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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History Mom - there was actually a huge loss of life during The Great Leap Forward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Well, yeah - a lot of people meekly starved to death! But there was no armed rebellion or any actual challenge to Mao's government as a result. The same would be impossible in America; people are too disobedient toward their leaders. They would never consent to this kind of thing; they'd die fighting instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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np That's what we tell ourselves, but fear changes people. Putting "live free or die" on a license plate is very different from putting your kids' lives on the line to fight tyranny, especially if your neighbors, friends and family seem to be going along. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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I'd like to believe we're as independent as you say, but it's hard to know until you're in the situation. We didn't protest en masse when Japanese were rounded up and forced out of their homes and businesses during WWII. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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thats because it didn't direct us directly, unfortunately. My answer to the Q would be Confucianism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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*affect us directly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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Why would we have? They were considered an enemy population for the duration of the war. Unfortunate for them, but their internment had very high popular support. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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But that's how it usually happens. The gov't doesn't take on the whole citizenry at once. They scapegoat groups of outsiders, whether the educated elite or a racial/religious minority or gays or independent farmers or whatever, and they go on from there - any by then people know what happens to people who stick their necks out, and they look down and do what they're told. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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That's not what Mao did. He basically just decreed one day that a large chunk of the country had to give up its personal property and go live in barracks and work on communal farms. And instead of getting a rebellion in return, he got compliance. That's just insane to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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God, I don't know. The Native Americans would NEVER... oh wait. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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In general, they did fight back, they just couldn't win (either because their population was decimated by disease or because they were outgunned.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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do the chinese have the right to bear arms? Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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So what? Many rebellions/guerrilla movements have started with unarmed people storming an armory en masse and weaponizing themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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A mob can easily overtake and disarm several soldiers and seize their equipment, too. Some of those communal camps only had a handful of actual armed security personnel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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You are so IGNORANT. Why do you think there are so many Jewish and Chinese coming into this country? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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^ were [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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These things don't happen just out if nowhere - like a battered wife who has been sniped at for years and has no self-esteem left, they happen bit by bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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Agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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I feel like you need a lesson in History 101 - but maybe even HS history/poli sci [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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ask yourself this: why did the jews agree to be slaves in Egypt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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^ were they OBEDIENT according to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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There are no actual historical records documenting the presence of Jewish slaves in Egypt aside from the Old Testament itself, which is dubious at best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] WOHMs: share your best tips for new WOHMs. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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New moms or just newly WOHM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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New WOHMs. Because reality/expwrience is better the plan in my head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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How old are your kids? Likely very different answers from the moms who went back to work with preschoolers (my youngest was 3 ) than newborns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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how old are the kids, what type of childcare arrangements will you have? we need more info [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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Don't try to do everything yourself. Order online, fresh direct, diapers.com, etc. Get a weekly housekeeper who will also do laundry and run some errands in the neighborhood (like dropping something at the post office). Buy clothes that mix and match well and some good quality flats and get a low-maintenance haircut so your mornings are easy. Cook extras on Sunday but don't feel guilty about ordering our during the week. FD and whole foods also have great ready to go items that Are healthy. Don't expect that you're going to be as great at your job as you were before. Your goal is to under promise and over deliver, not the other way around. Don't have the nanny's hours set so she leaves the minute you walk in the door. Give yourself 15-30 minutes to change clothes and decompress (ideally the db won't even know you're home because she'll bring them in another room during this time). Schedule a date with dh twice a month and stick to it. If you can, do one dinner and one day time lunch which feels scandalous and adds to the excitement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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Good stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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Wise woman. One more thing: Costco is your friend. You wont have time to run out for toilet paper/shampoo/etc.... You need to have long term supplies in house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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Or Amazon Prime [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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great advice here! also, don't sweat the little stuff. you can't be the perfect mom, employee, wife, etc. just accept that you do your best at everything and don't forget to block out some "me" time on the weekends or in the evenings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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This is a great list. I would just add to not compare yourself to other people who seem to be doing things better. They likely are struggling just as much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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Be 100% present when you are with your baby. Put your phone and computer away, etc. Get comfortable with just being barely good enough at just about every facet of life and with always being late for something. Learn how to prioritize and say no - Something's got to give, and it shouldn't be your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
[ - ] I grew up in a country where nearly all schools had uniforms. It's so much simpler and a good leveler. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:04 PM Flag
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Never saw the point in wearing the same ugly outfit as everyone else. Signed Inmate Mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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ILY Inmate Mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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Thanks Sugar. Why would anyone want their wonderful kids lined up and looking identical? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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It would be fine with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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totally agree- would save a lot of tears in middle school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
[ - ] http://cleanseultimo.tumblr.com/ 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Who was sexier: Dennis Farina on "Crime Story," or Dennis Franz on "NYPD Blue"? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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Well Dennis Franz is very unattractive. Dennis Farina was a handsome man. Not my type but an attractive man. So DF. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
[ - ] I just ordered a ton of $2 crinkle scarves off of eBay to use as gift wrap. I figure it's less landfill and, even if they're not worn, they may be reused. Would you like this or not? I'll still use ribbon and ornaments to decorate at usual. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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I could give a shit about wrapping a gift. You could hand it to me unwrapped for all I care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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I'm too OCD to do that! Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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I do gift bags and mostly they are reused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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I would like it simply because it means you took the time to repurpose something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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It's still landfill as most people with throw them out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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Not me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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I'd wonder why you're wrapping a present in something that looks like a random stranger wore, then sold, at a garage sale. Bizarre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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No, sounds cheesy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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Super cute and creative [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Describe the strongest/most muscular guy you've ever slept with. Did he toss you around and stuff? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Yes. We had very acrobatic sex. That was 16 years ago, now we are married with two kids and the sex is still great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Yuck. I don't like muscular guys. Turn off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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Nonsense. You're saying a guy like this doesn't turn you on? Liar! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o calling adults Mrs so and so, why is it OK for our kids to call nannies by their first name since they are adults? Even Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents have a title. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Because they are brown people and don't deserve respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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Hey kid, one day you'll realize what a douche you were, but until then let me convey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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I was being incredibly sarcastic. I think that actually is the reason many people treat their nannies poorly, but I am not endorsing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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Seriously I find it weird that white adults are called mr and mrs but nannies are first name. They are working adults and not siblings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:13 PM Flag
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Meh, I think the whole Mrs/mr thing is dumb. Almost no one addresses anyone this way anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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np I find it weird that you assume all nannies are non-white and all non-nannies are white. Also find it weird that people assume calling nannies by first name and calling other adults by first names is mutually exclusive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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You missed the thread on nannies. If she also speaks another language, most have a term for "auntie" that is used. Alternatively, "Miss/Ms. Sally" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Nanny here: I work very hard and love what I do. I do not sit the kids in front of the TV all day and don't believe in electronics for kids before two. My employers expressed these same beliefs when I was hired. They mentioned they let the child watch an ocassional episode of Sesame Street but it would be very rare that I could do that. Now they use YouTube videos to calm every tantrum. All diaper changes are done with videos. We were having a transition issue and I have been working very hard to stop it by helpin the child prepare for it and providing developmentally appropriate sensory items. Now I found out my mom boss told my dad boss to just use videos. Should I have a conversation with them and let them know I am not on board with this parenting style? How would you respond? I imagine I'm better off just seeking a new job. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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Do your job. They are not your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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I had no idea they were sancti nannies out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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They aren't. It is the parents decision and fighting it is pointless. If you can't do it, find a new gig. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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I can let a kid watch a video for every tantrum but that isn't developmentally appropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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I agree, but it is up to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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That's what I figured. I will just find a new job. They will be pissed, but they aren't going to change. We all know this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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come work for me. In all seriousness, you are too good to work for this family. Find someone who values you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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Very hard to find a good nanny family. I eventually want to do private home schooling and tutoring. Hoping to start in the next year or so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:04 PM Flag
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I don't know one family who wants screen time and many will pay extra for tutoring and home schooling. How much do you get paid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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I make 65k at my nanny job. I charge $55-100 an hour for tutoring. And my bosses don't necessarily WANT screen time. They do it because it's the easy way out. I understand that. I am going to present an alternative to the video on Monday and see what they say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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I wouldn't present anything to them. Find more tutoring opportunities etc and then move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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This is what I am doing but tutoring clients cancel often so I need to build up my savings before I can switch to tutoring full time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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New job. It's hard to work for people you don't respect or deal with the hassles of a DC that is used to TV only as a crutch withou defaulting to it yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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I would go with the flow while seeking a family more in sync with your parenting style which I agree with. My nanny is amazing but we do not do phone or ipad stuff but she does and when he is on it and I walk in and say hi she takes it away and he cries. You can never have a perfect match but the parents do think they are right so maybe move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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But do they think it is right or just easy? I just encouraged them to make some alterations to his sleep habits and the first few days were hell and they almost gave up but now he is sleeping longer and going to sleep on his own. I know raising children is hard, but we have to make those sacrifices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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They think it is easy. No one use screens or videos because it is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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We had a nanny share and the other family did this. Neither myself or the nanny ever said anything about it but I often expressed to the nanny that I thought it really put her in a bad position in terms of being able to appropriately address those children's behavior issues that were created by the parents. Her strategy was to continue to enforce the rules that we had all agreed to in the beginning. The children behaved for her much better than the parents, who they were capable of manipulating easily, as a result. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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I think if I keep consistent he will eventually be better behaved for me. But the tantrums I have been dealing with are hell and will only he worse if tantrums are rewarded with videos. I just made so much progress on one of the issues to now find out they just started using videos. I was even telling the dad how I do it because I've had good results and he said oh yeah mom told me to just use a video. Sigh. I'm glad you shared though. I won't give up yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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I would look for a new family. I actually don't get too worked up about "screen time", but using videos as an alternative to discipline doesn't bode well for the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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Op: exactly. I am not a fan of screen time but thirty min of tv built into the schedule or a reward for good behavior is fine. It is not an appropriate way to discipline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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if you cannot adapt, yes then find new job - no one wants someone that is blatantly judging them in their own home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Wow I am astonished to hear about the laziness of some parents. Does chaos freak them out, or are they just lazy, or what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Had an OkCupid first date last night. Laid back dinner and drinks. He was smart, funny, gracious, and totally cute. He said he had a good time and wanted to do it again. I'm excited! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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So happy to hear that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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Did he do any of he things on the lists below? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Too soon to tell for most of both lists. But mutual attraction, chemistry and interest, no bad breath, paid for everything, he initiated talk on what he wants, and opened up about mistakes he made in the past. I felt a definite connection. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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you go girl! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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Nice!!!!! Have fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.18.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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