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[ - ] Help! DH has my iPad on vacation and my text messages are synching to it. How do I turn this off? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:15 PM Flag
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Busted!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:17 PM Flag
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Nothing to bust just want to complain about him to my girlfriends without him reading it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:25 PM Flag
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Yeah complaining about your spouse to others not in your marriage would qualify. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:27 PM Flag
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You stop using Apple products. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Istanbul for vacation in September? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:59 AM Flag
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Enjoy getting raped and or killed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:02 PM Flag
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Definitely. The sooner, the better. (Or, if you're all about the environment, not at all.) The Pamukkale (sp?) pools are being depleted as the hotels & tourist industries use up the water. If you want to see them & swim in them, you need to get there in the next few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:09 PM Flag
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Sounds good to me. I'm taking my 3 DCs as soon as we don't need a stroller anymore. Travel & Leisure did a piece a year or two ago on family trips to Istanbul and it sounded awesome. We prefer city trips to beach vacations in general. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Is this normal? DH pulls a blanket over him when he's on the sofa alone watching tv and pulls out his penis underneath. He seems to just be touching or massaging; it has never appeared to be hard when I have walked in. It's like he just needs to be touching it. I pretend not to notice when I walk by, and it has never happened when the kids are around or guests come in. Should I say something? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:20 AM Flag
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Normalish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:22 AM Flag
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Thanks. :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:24 AM Flag
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It's some kind of self-soothing behavior most likely left over from childhood, he's been doing it all along, but has let his guard down around you. I would not be surprised if he has some other baggage he's toting around, but at the moment if it doesn't bother you, carry on. 100% if it happens in front of someone who is not you, that's a huge problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:31 AM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:33 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:33 AM Flag
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it eventually will [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:35 AM Flag
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Disagree. If a guy has reached this age, and has not had problems with inappropriate behavior, I think it is unlikely to start (absent huge life event). Most guys who have had problems with exposing themselves etc, it was clearly evident earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:40 AM Flag
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+1 Plus, this guy is not exposing himself. He's home alone (at least, alone in the room), under a blanket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:43 AM Flag
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From above, I agree. I am just commenting re I do not think this will eventually become a big problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:46 AM Flag
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lol Remember Al Bundy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:09 PM Flag
[ - ] So ... I am leaving my kids and divorcing my husband. If you already think that I am a terrible person than you can collapse this post. I always thought that I wanted to get married and have and raise kids but having done this many years, I know it is pulling the life out of me, even though I do love my kids. I have been miserable since the first baby, and the second did not make anything better. I would much prefer to live alone. My husband already knows that I am leaving him. He is not happy but he loves the kids and I am sure that he will continue to be a great father to them. Maybe he'll even find a better wife with whom he can raise our dds, 13 and 15. They are good students and have nice friends, so I haven't screwed them up yet, but I've got to be done for my own sake. I'm just not suited to being a mother, and I admit it. I have been working with a therapist and an attorney and I will be seeing my girls once during the week and every other weekend, but they will not live with me. Here are my questions: 1. Why does everyone react so negatively when I tell them that I am leaving my girls with their father? He is a very nurturing and loving father. AND 2. Would my girls be better off if they didn't see me except for the holidays? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:19 AM Flag
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1. Everyone expects the mom to be primary and devastated if not. 2. No see them as much as you can, not just holidays. They love you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:23 AM Flag
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All I can tell you is that my mom did this. It was confusing enough when I was around 7, I'm not sure how I would feel at 13 or 15, except that these are the ages where they pull away anyway. This may or may not put them over the edge to where it won't actually be up to you whether you see them or not. They will just say no thanks, and you can fight them on it at your peril. When they turn 18, they're gone, particularly if they don't need your financial support. I'm glad you had therapy before making this decision at least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:28 AM Flag
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1. The whole motherhood thing is viewed as sacrosanct. I think that, even into adulthood, people feel like the one person they can count on to love them and stand by them, no matter what, is Mom. So when a mother leaves, they have to deal with the reality that, yes, their mother could leave them, too. There is also still a VERY strong feeling, in the US, that a woman who has sex "deserves" the responsibility of raising children. This is why certain factions try to limit women's access to contraception, family planning, and education. A woman who absolves herself of this responsibility is breaking fundamental rules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:29 AM Flag
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^ 2. No. They would be best off if you re-formed the relationship as a relationship of adults. Have dinner with them once or twice a week, and take some of the weekends, but change the conversations to be more like the ones you have as an adult with your siblings, parents, and friends. Normally you would transition to this around 17-21, anyway, so you're just moving up the timetable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:32 AM Flag
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I know someone who did exactly this. Maybe 14 and 12 at the time. Ended up fine for her, not so much for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:32 AM Flag
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Interesting that you waited this long, they are teens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:36 AM Flag
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How are your finances? Could you offer boarding school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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Oh that sounds bad, moms leaving lets ship you off to boarding school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:43 AM Flag
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Many kids LOVE boarding school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:46 AM Flag
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That not the point, in a kids mind this could be looked at as, mommy doesn't love you so she's leaving and I don't either so I'm getting rid of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:50 AM Flag
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+1 Boarding school can provide a stable environment when the home environment may not be for a bit. I went to boarding school as my parents were divorcing and it was a good decision for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:11 PM Flag
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This. Boarding school can take family disruption off the table, or at least minimize it. Especially if there will be hateful gossip locally about OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:22 PM Flag
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1) Because you phrase it as "leaving your girls". My divorced male friends who have much the same custody as you will have don't describe it as "leaving their kids"- either they left their WIVES or their wives left them, but they didn't think of it as abandonning their kids. 2) Really up to them, they're old enough now to decide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:42 AM Flag
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I agree that is what guys say, BUT OP is saying the truth. You may be leaving a spouse, but do not kid yourself, you will see much less of your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:47 AM Flag
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Poster below. Right, because he is the better parent. But how is that "leaving your kids"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:50 AM Flag
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Because you are moving out of the house where your spouse and kids live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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Saying the truth is not always the right or kindest thing to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:10 PM Flag
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I think some people are in denial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 12:13 PM Flag
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I agree with other poster that it's odd you describe it as "leaving your kids". The reality is that he is getting primary custody -- a much different thing. And yes, you should really offer them the option but say that because of work schedules, etc. and relationship, you think it is best for them to be with him most of the time. You have done well for your kids so far, don't let this decision create unnecessary abandonement issues for them. If you think everyone reacts negatively to *you* when you say you are "leaving your girls", you can only imagine what their friends will say. There is simply no reason for you to frame it like this, as though you need your freedom and child-free life. It's provocative..(so maybe this is fake?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:48 AM Flag
[ - ] I had heart burn so bad last night I threw up. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 10:53 AM Flag
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You ate too much too close to bedtime. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:13 AM Flag
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Acid reflux. Zantac before bed helps [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.15, 11:16 AM Flag
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