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[ - ] Babysitting my nephew - sister in law did not pack enough formula - ran out day four of a seven day trip - wtf?! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:14 PM Flag
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omg. you are babysitting a literal baby for a week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:16 PM Flag
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Well there is a nurse too...so it's ok but there is a a toddler in tow - so there's that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
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Two choices- (1) go buy more formula (2) let the baby starve [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:18 PM Flag
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What's it going to be ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:18 PM Flag
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Of course I bought more formula. Just think my sil is a moron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:20 PM Flag
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Maybe you are over feeding DB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:19 PM Flag
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No the nurse is - and feeding right on schedule according to the elaborate print out my sil leaves for the nurse to fill out. Barf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:21 PM Flag
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where are the parents that you are sitting for a whole week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:57 PM Flag
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Romanticism has been unhelpful to us; it is a harsh philosophy. It has made a lot of what we go through in marriage seem exceptional and appalling. We end up lonely and convinced that our union, with its imperfections, is not “normal.” We should learn to accommodate ourselves to “wrongness,” striving always to adopt a more forgiving, humorous and kindly perspective on its multiple examples in ourselves and in our partners. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:59 PM Flag
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I just read the article and was about to post it on UB. Ha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:04 PM Flag
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i'm learning to mellow out with age. it helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 PM Flag
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i'm learning to mellow out with age. it helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 PM Flag
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Same with everything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 PM Flag
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This is the piece I think so many people who post on UB need to get. That yearning to recreate the butterflies of early courtship is unrealistic and destructive. "The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. We mustn’t abandon him or her, only the founding Romantic idea upon which the Western understanding of marriage has been based the last 250 years: that a perfect being exists who can meet all our needs and satisfy our every yearning." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 PM Flag
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Best article in the history of ub [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:23 PM Flag
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I am white and attended TT schools where we were always taught that arranged marraiges were backward, but actually all academic studies shw aranged marriges are better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:24 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:24 PM Flag
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When you are in arange marrige u never expect firworks and romance., so you have low espectations and are never disappoinrd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Tell me - why did you get divorced? Are you better off now? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:41 PM Flag
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DH had an affair and I asked him to leave and filed. I wish I'd given reconciliation a chance, to be honest. He was not abusive, he was (and still is) a good dad, high income. I just could not get past the anger that he'd broken my heart. It's almost 5 years later and he's engaged to his girlfriend and I am still meeting oddballs. There's just no one out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:49 PM Flag
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But at least you taught your kids to stand up for themselves - that's important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:50 PM Flag
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There are savvier ways to stand up for yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:53 PM Flag
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Sigh. Actually no. I took that high road and didn't tell the girls (we have 3 daughters) why we were splitting up. This made them angry because it just looked to them like I was asking their dad to leave for no reason at all. Finally their dad told them and it made them even more angry at me. The oldest one told me I was being a hypocrite because I'd always said everyone makes mistakes but it's what they do after that counts. And I didn't give their dad a second chance. He's the one they have the better relationship with. I kind of got screwed on all sides. There is very little positive that came out of the divorce. My life did not get better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:53 PM Flag
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Hugs. This is really sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:54 PM Flag
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Thank you for an honest answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:55 PM Flag
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I have heard this story before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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My DH is in your shoes. His ex wife had an affair. He took the high rode. Counselling. Forgave. She divorced him. Their kids, relatives, etc don't know. They blame him. They have a better relationship and respect the ex wife. I came into this 7 years later and some think I am the other woman. As in DH was the one that cheated. And I'm the mistress. It's terrible. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 PM Flag
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Time for DH to drop the high road! Totally not worth it, esp considering effect on you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
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They will understand and support you when they are older. Infidelity is too nuanced a situation for kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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Yeah, when they're bitter 50 year olds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:00 PM Flag
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+1. So sorry that your current situation is tough. But I do agree that when the girls are older they'll understand more. I'll send all my positive vibes out into [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:01 PM Flag
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oops...into the universe that things will steadily improve for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:02 PM Flag
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So she endures a crappy situation with her DCs for many years. When she could have stayed married and tried to work that out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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If she had stayed married, there's no assurance that it would have been a bed of roses. You generally trade one set of problems for another. If she had stayed, she may have continued to be really unhappy because the trust was gone with her partner...and who's to say he wouldn't continue cheating. Would they have a ton of resentment that would be toxic in the home? The fact that she didn't tell her girls about the infidelity shows that she's a very emotionally intelligent person. I think she'll do just fine. She may be enduring a crappy situation with her DCs right now...but the source of that was a cheating husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 PM Flag
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+1. So sorry that your current situation is tough. But I do agree that when the girls are older they'll understand more. I'll send all my positive vibes out into [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:01 PM Flag
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I am the same poster as above. I don't think the kids will. Unless they are super religious and stay that way. And their "sinned" parent doesn't remarry (which seems to wash their slate clean eg look how sin free I am in this marriage there fore I wasn't wrong in the previous marriage or I should be forgiven for that) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:09 PM Flag
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What??!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 PM Flag
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It will - you just have to stick it out- you're the hero in the end. I applaud you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Are you getting decent child support? It may not feel like it, but it sounds like you did the right thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:53 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:54 PM Flag
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How much of that income do you receive? What is custody arrangement? How do DCs feel about step-mother to be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:54 PM Flag
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They will like her, I bet. Signed SM in same position [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:01 PM Flag
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Ex was an addict & I was too..knew I'd never get cleaned up unless I left. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:55 PM Flag
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Sadly, unless there's ongoing physical abuse, or serious substance abuse, divorce is usually the wrong answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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He had two kids with his mistress. He was happy to provide me and our children more than enough support in the divorce settlement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:01 PM Flag
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Ew what a pig [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Effing DH sleeps in again. Seriously hate that man for never letting me sleep in on a weekend even once since having kids. And I WOHM full time to his four day week. This, among other reasons is why we have sex three times a year. At this point years and years of bitterness and resentment have destroyed my love for him. I am only staying for the kids. 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:32 PM Flag
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I'd rather be divorced [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:35 PM Flag
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Next weekend you should go out Friday after dinner and not go home until Sunday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:22 PM Flag
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How old are the kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:41 PM Flag
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Four and seven [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 PM Flag
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Mine too. It's hard. Sorry op. The only thing that works is discussing in advance what needs to happen, since these guys are always keeping tabs and seem to always come out short, serious negotiating is the only thing that works and then not always. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:46 PM Flag
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Most men seem to be horrendous. The girls that held out for the awesome ones did something very right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:42 PM Flag
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Ita, mine is a recovering alcoholic with anger management problems who likes to say I don't know what to tell you im a really selfish person, every time he argues with me about helping around the house. Also a FT WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 PM Flag
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Men suck. They don't have to try because the world is already theirs. Donald trump is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:47 PM Flag
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what's this "let" concept? don't you communicate? just do it and tell him he's on duty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 PM Flag
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Np: spoken from someone who doesn't have this problem. Kids need to be fed, wiped, etc...these men are totally immobile and unresponsive and eventually the kids' needs have to be tended to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 PM Flag
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Exactly I've tried this. Result, kids are late to school, don't have lunch packed, don't have breakfast, ect. Do they survive, of course but im not ok sending dcs to school late without food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:52 PM Flag
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4 and 7 is plenty old enough to feed and entertain themselves while you sleep for 2 additional hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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Np: they are noisy and DH is the only one who can't hear them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:58 PM Flag
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tell them quiet play. you sound like you just want to be a martyr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:19 PM Flag
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Believe me we've had the conversation hundreds of times. Nothing happens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:46 PM Flag
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how old are your kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:47 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC? We should start a support group. :-/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:48 PM Flag
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this is why feminism is a lie. dh is the nicest guy (at least one of the two nicest) i have ever met. and i dated a lot. but he's really not 100% there with childcare. he's not bad but he's not on the ball 50% of the time. but he is rich so i am able to sah and not resent it so much. it makes a big diff if you don't also have to struggle with work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:50 PM Flag
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eh. my dh cheated egregiously, but he is all over the child care situation. all over it. being a great or not so great marital partner really isn't predictive of how you'll be as a father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:55 PM Flag
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how can a man who takes time and money and energy away from his progeny and gives it to a woman not related to their production be "all over" the childcare situation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:04 PM Flag
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because there's enough money that it doesn't make a difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
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This is why I maintain that money buys happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:55 PM Flag
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it really is true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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no, it buys material comfort. it can help avoid certain kinds of stress-related unhappiness, but that's not the same as affirmatively buying happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:18 PM Flag
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Start scheduling a morning class of some sort and tell the kids to bother him as you're on your way out the door. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:52 PM Flag
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Np: I work on Sunday mornings and spend the who am worrying that my son is going to hurt himself or something from Being unsupervised all morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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Staying for the kids gets old quickly. Your kind are likely too committed to social snobbery to be referred to as a single parents. So you live lives in misery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:53 PM Flag
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Nope. Can't afford to divorce. That's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:57 PM Flag
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bullshit. divorce ain't no picnic, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:05 PM Flag
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I seriously don't understand some of you. My DH was oldest of 4, gets stuff done around the house. I didn't go for money I guess (though he makes 2x what I do) but we're equal partners at home. I don't understand how these men get chosen by anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:54 PM Flag
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They are great until kids come along several years later! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:58 PM Flag
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np I don't see how that can be true. A person who does his own share of housework and family responsibilities doesn't just stop when he has kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
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In my case it was a number of factors. I had an absent father and a step father who lived with me for 20 years but treated me terribly. I always dated good looking, arrogant, confident men who were charming but not very nice. Then I marriaed one. Wrote above about recovering alcoholic DH with anger issues who loves to proclaim he's selfish. He needs to be accountable for his actions but I have to be accountable for who I married and procreated with. The one thing I will say is that many of these characteristics were not nearly as apparent until after we got married and moved in together. Especially the binge drinking. He's currently sober. I would never ever advise my children to marry someone they did not live with. Screw the why buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Terribe sexist advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:00 PM Flag
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I posted above you about hood DH. Incidentally he is also in recovery, but it has been many years. Does your DH go to AA? It really helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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"Good" dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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He tried AA a handful of times but said at the end of the day it's about his own will power. I wish he would continue as I think the support is really important. He lost many of his friends as many are immature and unsupportive and will encourage him to try drinking in moderation even though he explains he's can't drink without binge drinking and blacking out and will want to start drinking daily if he starts. The other day he told me he had a horrible day at work and really wanted to drink. I tried to gently suggest he try another meeting again and he said im not going to confide this with you anymore if you're just going to start nagging me about meetings. I was hoping you'd be happy for me that I fought off the urge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 PM Flag
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Thanks for the suggestion though. Im going to Try alanon for myself. Have you tried it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 PM Flag
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And yes I agree with your cow comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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yeah, ok. i call bullshit or you are a slovenly homemaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:06 PM Flag
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+1 Never go past the third date with a man who doesn't clean his own home to an acceptable standard and who doesn't mention the ways he helps his family. If he has a cleaning service, forget him, because you will be his cleaning service if you marry him. And if he doesn't help out family members with things, he won't "help" you take care of the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:20 PM Flag
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Can't you take turns? That only seems fair. That works fairly well for us. Have you asked him to do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:54 PM Flag
[ - ] DH's hygiene is subpar. He smells like a bar, and his bedroom smells. We have separate bedrooms, and the slipcover on the living room sofa gets washed regularly, so it really doesn't affect me. I'm just embarrassed to think of people smelling him. I have mentioned it to him a couple of times. Is it rude to bring it up again? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:31 PM Flag
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There's at least one poster who is on UB sometimes who has the same problem. It's apparently so bad that she didn't even know how it sounded when she told everyone she has to wash her sheets every week. She considered it completely normal, it was so sad. I think people even recommended she see a doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:01 PM Flag
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My dh is 35 and literally doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly. Every single pair of his boxers have huge skid marks on them, and the smell even transfers into his pants, which then makes our couch, chairs, bed sheets, etc, smell. SO gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:16 PM Flag
[ - ] 7 year old otherwise bright enough DS still can't tie his shoes. Is there a good method to teach them? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:29 PM Flag
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I learned by doing the first tie, then making each lace a loop of its own, then tying those together the same way. I think they call it the "bunny ears" technique. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 PM Flag
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+1 That's the easiest way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:39 PM Flag
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my 11yo who just won the state math competition is not truly efficient at it either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 PM Flag
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[ - ] My dog just grabbed my fresh warm sesame cream cheese bagel off my plate while I was washing my hands and ran around the house eating it until it was gone. What is the appropriate punishment for the dog? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:19 PM Flag
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Tickle him and kiss him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:24 PM Flag
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Tell him no Sunday Times crossword puzzle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:27 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 PM Flag
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Ha! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:58 PM Flag
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Nothing. Dogs take food that is available [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:56 PM Flag
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Leaving him home bored and alone while you take yourself out to brunch? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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LOL cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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crate for 10 mins [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 PM Flag
[ - ] What is this? For the past few months, I've been getting real dark brown sticky discharge before my period. It can be a week or a day before my menstrual cycle begins. My doctor told me this is common. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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^ I don't see how this is common... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:06 PM Flag
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I've been having brown discharge for as long as I can remember. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 PM Flag
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This happens to me, too. I think it is common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:15 PM Flag
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Ok, thanks. So it can be a day before or even a week before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 PM Flag
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Listen to your doctor or find another one. You keep posting this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:17 PM Flag
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This is my first time posting this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:42 PM Flag
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it's old blood being flushed out first. very common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:19 PM Flag
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Thanks. But why is old blood there? My periods have been like clockwork before this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 PM Flag
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you could have little fibroids or polyps or something that's preventing a full, complete flush by the end of your prior period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 PM Flag
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I had an ultrasound done. Came back normal. My sister found out she has endometriosis. I had my 3rd baby almost 2 yrs ago. Can someone get endometriosis later in life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:48 PM Flag
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i think so, yes. and the fibroids could be small and still cause this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:59 PM Flag
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Thank you for responding! There was one very small fibroad, smaller than a pea. DR said this wouldn't cause this but you never know. How do you find it of you have endometriosis? Will an ultrasound pick it up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 PM Flag
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You sound like you desperately want something to be wrong . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:18 PM Flag
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No I def don't. I feel like most Drs don't really look into things unless something is severely wrong. I like my dr but I don't see how this could happen all of a sudden and be considered normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:23 PM Flag
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It very normal. Your doc must be so tired of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:26 PM Flag
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Mine often does this. It's not sticky, but it is darker and it's more like spotting. After a day or two the flow increases and it is red. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:38 PM Flag
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Ok. This month it's a week before. The past few months have been a day or two before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:44 PM Flag
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Omg. Stop posting this- especially during breakfast. You are fine. It's normal. Doc told you & we told you as well. It's old blood. It happens. Your period doesn't stay the same it changes and this is within the range of perfectly normal. If you don't trust your doc, you should find one you can trust. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
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Why are you saying stop posting this? My first time. Isn't this a mom forum? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:19 PM Flag
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You. Post. This. Everyday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:24 PM Flag
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Are you crazy? You're on here everyday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Need some help here. Was at my SIL's house the other day with my DH and kids. Kids were all playing nicely in the pool while adults watched. The older cousin jumped into the pool over my kid who was swimming. No biggie but his father yelled at him,pulled him out of the pool with one hand and spanked him in front of everyone. Shocked, physically upset was my response. I shut down and wanted to leave . Now, i am ready to confront the situation. Any suggestions? THanks 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:00 PM Flag
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So your bil? Don't say a word, if your children ask about it then tell them some parents spank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 PM Flag
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Yes it is my BIL and i feel I have to say something [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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Why? And to whom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:07 PM Flag
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So you never want to see them again, because that is what will happen if you say something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:07 PM Flag
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I don't want my kids to see an adult hitting a child and hopefully me saying something will shame him so he doesn't spank. It is proven that it does not work, causes more harm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:10 PM Flag
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Yea you never want to see them again, because people love advice on their parenting skills when they don't ask for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:12 PM Flag
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Good luck with that. What will happen is that you will never see them again outside of forced family gatherings at holidays. But if being right is that important to you, go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:12 PM Flag
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LOL this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:15 PM Flag
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Yes, excessive abuse. Not plain old spanking. Parent your own children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 PM Flag
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Oh please. MYOB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 PM Flag
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It is not proven that spanking across the board causes more harm. Plenty of us were spanked and not harmed in the least. You're being ridiculous. I don't spank my kids. But I think you're being silly to take this on over something so small. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 PM Flag
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Actually, there ARE a lot of studies that show that spanking causes harm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:33 PM Flag
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It isn't going to "shame him"...he thinks he is doing the right thing for his child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 PM Flag
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Np: just tell your dcs your beliefs but I wouldn't say anything to bil. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:20 PM Flag
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MYOB. It seems the parent felt that his child violated a tenet of pool safety and responded as he saw fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:07 PM Flag
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Not sure how severe the spank was, but we soak for safety violations as the threat of them don't it again is greater than the spank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 PM Flag
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Who did the uncle spank? His own kid? Your kid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 PM Flag
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his own kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:12 PM Flag
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He's entitled to punish his own child. Personally I would have yanked my child somewhere private to spank them, but oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:14 PM Flag
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You sound very weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:34 PM Flag
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There's nothing to confront. You move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 PM Flag
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I don't spank my kids, but I think you're overreacting to say the least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:17 PM Flag
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You remind me of the mom who wanted to turn in the kids for cheating on SATs. It's none of your business and you'll just make it worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 PM Flag
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I wouldn't say anything but I would also be sickened and horrified. How old was this kid who got spanked? It does sound awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:35 PM Flag
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7 years old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:36 PM Flag
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if it's the first time you've seen something like that in 7 years, then obviously bil felt this was extremely serious, and that it warranted such a response. i wouldn't say anything. it won't shame him, and it won't change his perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:50 PM Flag
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this - she will do nothing but make it even more uncomfortable for everyone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:06 PM Flag
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clearly a safety issue that BIL has probably discussed with him before, you do not jump into a pool on top of people - leave BIL alone and parent your own children and leave his children to him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:52 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:58 PM Flag
[ - ] My 3.5 yr old DS told me last night that nanny explained to him that her mother died. The way he understood it was that she got smaller and smaller until she went away. DH is angry at nanny for talking about death; he feels DS is too young and prefers that we handle it. I don't know the context of the conversation, so I feel like it might be ok. Would this bother you? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:52 AM Flag
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It wouldn't bother me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:56 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:10 PM Flag
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yes, it would bother me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:57 AM Flag
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3.5 is not too young. but it is now up to you to explain it in a way that makes sense for your family. my mother died when my oldest was 3. i actually asked for advice at his preschool about how to talk with him about it and it was very helpful. perhaps you might consider asking an expert you trust for advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:10 PM Flag
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Your nanny is wrong to share this with your kid. Usually, death is a topic for adults not children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:03 PM Flag
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Really, because children never hear of or experience death. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 PM Flag
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I would not bother me, especially not knowing content. Time for you and DH to step up and voice your ideas on death to your child, can't keep him in a bubble [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 PM Flag
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What's DH's master plan? I would love to hear this vastly superior method of explaining death to small children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:08 PM Flag
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Would not bother me at all. These things come up in the process of going through daily life with kids. Nothing wrong with what the nanny said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:20 PM Flag
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It would really annoy me. I don't want another adult introducing the concept of death to my child. Now you cannot do much, except follow up with your child and answer Qs. Your nanny lost her mother and relayed that to the child. She explained death in a non-religious way, so you can be thankful she was vague about it. she was probably taken aback by the question "what does 'died' mean", and gave the best answer she could. I'd be annoyed but grateful she didn't get specific or religious. She did use some discretion, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:25 PM Flag
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Horrible. I would fire over this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a friend who is always inviting themselves places? I posted once that I was at a Chuck E Cheese near where my friend lived (my son was at a friend's birthday party there) and I posted about it (I know my mistake) and she responded "I would come join you but Katie thinks Chuck E Cheese is noisy and scary." (Katie is 9 BTW). Yesterday mutual friends were having some people over to their new house and posted a picture of their pool saying "just waiting for company to arrive"-same friend said "we will be right there -what is your address?" Until the hosts said "we are having family over"-who does this? It's very strange. I know this person doesn't have many friends. Maybe this is why. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:49 AM Flag
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Lonely or socially awkward people. Sometimes they are both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:54 AM Flag
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They don't interpret social cues very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:54 AM Flag
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+1 I have a friend who is like this. Mostly former friend, since I've managed to get away from her for the most part. I Facebooked my garden tomatoes once since I had a nice bumper crop. Next thing I know, she's at the front door with a paper bag saying, "I'm coming for some of your tomatoes since you can't eat all of those." I told her I had already processed them into puree that went into the freezer for sauce later. She said, "now why would you go and do that, you should have said that, then I wouldn't have wasted my time coming over here." She was actually pissed off at me. I was dumbfounded. So glad I don't see that woman anymore ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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that's what you get for bragging on Facebook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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yeah, I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:06 PM Flag
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I can see my friend doing that-what does your friend do for work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 PM Flag
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That is so bizarre. I can't believe you had a quick reply. I would have been so stunned I might have given her some...right before I went into the witness protection program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 PM Flag
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It's way more socially awkward to say hey I'm having a party you can't come. Didn't we stop doing that around 2nd grade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:35 PM Flag
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Wow, awkward, so glad she didn't have the address and just pop by [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:58 AM Flag
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Yeah the people having the party weren't real happy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 PM Flag
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Strictly speaking, announcing an event publicly implies public invitation. That's why etiquette has always been not to discuss upcoming events with people who aren't invited. People who announce publicly, "just waiting for company to arrive," should not be all that surprised when people infer an open invitation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:14 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:21 PM Flag
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SO THIS. I don't get FB but the last thing I would do is say "I'm having a party." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:22 PM Flag
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Yeah but they didn't say "anyone can come-" they said "waiting for company"-which I interpreted people were already invited [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:26 PM Flag
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I would never interpret " just waiting for company to arrive" as, anyone reading this, come over now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:27 PM Flag
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Why not? It doesn't specify who the company is. It just says, "company". Why would someone post that for you to read, if they meant to exclude you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:33 PM Flag
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Yikes. She's a total loose canon. Can you adjust your security settings so she doesn't see your location postings? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 PM Flag
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I've just stopped posting things when I'm near her house or anything she could mistrue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:25 PM Flag
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Possibly on the spectrum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:28 PM Flag
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I definitely think her daughter is-so yeah possibly-didn't think of that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 PM Flag
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All off the people in this scenario, including FB posters, are socially inept. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:00 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:16 PM Flag
[ - ] I love teaching...I love summers... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:17 AM Flag
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When does your school end? We don't get out till end of June. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:18 AM Flag
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June 28th [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:19 AM Flag
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Are you going on any long trips during the break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:23 AM Flag
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Are you going on any long trips during the break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:23 AM Flag
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We have a cottage upstate my husband works from home, dad is ill so we are only doing driving trips this summer that we can cancel, looking at colleges with my oldest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:26 AM Flag
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Sorry about your dad. Good luck with the school search and enjoy summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:34 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:37 AM Flag
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It's an excellent profession for those who perform well and are happy enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:50 AM Flag
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it's not a demanding job. it works well for those who are content with good pay, low social status and low intellectual demand and a lot of people hassles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:17 PM Flag
[ - ] I was thinking of taking the kids to south street seaport today. I haven't been there in ages. Is there stuff for kids to do down there (4 & 5)...or is it just shops? Thanks. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:01 AM Flag
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I live there, no, but you can go on the shark (there is a groupon right now) then head down to battery park and go on the sea glass carousel, I would look if there is anything going on before I went. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:04 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you. That's kind of what I thought. I did find one kid focused fair thing from 11-1 today, so that should do it. I think we might be too wimpy for the shark ride. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:11 AM Flag
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Statement island ferry, or the ferry to ikea might be fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:15 AM Flag
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^^^staten island [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:15 AM Flag
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OP: Well, we'll still ferry over to SSS, but it's just the east river ferry from Brooklyn, so not a long ride. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:17 AM Flag
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Isn't that place closed down? The mall on the east river? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone commuting in from LI? Where from? How bad is the LIRR? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:59 AM Flag
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I commute via LI, it's great. Never any problems really [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Trump has not release even one year of his taxes but Hillary has release 33 years of taxes (what is he hiding)? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:49 AM Flag
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His true lower wealth and his tax avoidance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:57 AM Flag
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But all he has to say, look how broken our system is if someone like me pays nothing and all of you pay a shit load, he can say anything and they still love him, but hiding it seems weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:02 AM Flag
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His ego can't take it. If people find out how little he actually makes himself, he can't pretend to be "great". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:20 AM Flag
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I can't believe that so many of the American people are buying all this shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:22 AM Flag
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There was a thread on reddit the other day about "what was the dumbest thing you've ever heard another person say while being totally serious." It was frightening. Most of America is stupid, and they have decided they are tired of being ruled by the educated. Trump is their hero, it's an anti-intellectual movement. They had that in China during the cultural revolution, they locked up all the scholars and the doctors, tortured and disappeared all the teachers. Look how that worked out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:34 AM Flag
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Rejection of education has always been a fundamental element of the US. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:38 AM Flag
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I disagree on that count - it's always been seen as a means of elevating yourself. Even in my dad's age, families were proud to say they had sent their child to college. I think what may have turned the tide is that people are finding out that even with college, people are disenfranchised because even then there will always be the Ivy League, so there's the sense that they can't better themselves no matter what they do. There will always be an elite class shutting them out. A long time ago you could be John Boy Walton and go to Boatwright University and that was a big deal. Now everyone openly laughs and makes fun of crappy little colleges, and the people who attend them don't appreciate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:43 AM Flag
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See you are wrong, people have forgot education is power, but Americans are lazy and don't want to use their brain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:45 AM Flag
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Have forgotten [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:50 AM Flag
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Really? You are correcting an obvious typo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:55 AM Flag
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No, it's much older than that. There have always been a minority who valued education, but there have been people pushing back on education for over 200 years. There were territories and states that had to fight to get public education at even the most basic levels, and as people moved west and "made it on their own", they very strongly resented college-educated members of Congress "telling them what to do". You see it carrying forward through the Civil War, WWI, and WWII as college-educated military leaders clashed with enlisted troops, as 19th century business owners pushed back on movements to increase access to education, and into the 1950s when researchers, professors, and artists were threatened with labels like "communist" and "un-American". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:58 AM Flag
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+1 Who was the Manhattan Project physicist who had to testify in HUA because he advocated quantum theory? -- Of course, the irony there is that you used to have to have an education to get into Congress, but by WWII, Congress was trying to shut down education. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 PM Flag
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THIS!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 PM Flag
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Yes, I remember Fox News saying something like, president Obama persona is that he is the smartest in a room (they made it sound like it was a bad thing) but I want my president to always be the smartest person in the room, not someone I want to have a beer with or go to a strip club with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:41 AM Flag
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x1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:58 AM Flag
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There's an episode of The Nightly Show where Bill Nye is talking about water on Mars, and one of the other panellists said, "I don't care about water on Mars unless it's made from Caitlyn Jenner's tears." That's the level we're fighting against. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:59 AM Flag
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I love Bill Nye [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:01 PM Flag
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OMG someone really said that? Sad commentary on our nation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:31 PM Flag
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+ he's broke and cheats on his taxes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:09 AM Flag
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I doubt he is broke but I very much doubt his true net worth is more than $500mm (still impressive) but not the $10bn he claims [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:42 PM Flag
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you guys were bitching about her tax returns, too. gtfo yourselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:09 PM Flag
[ - ] My crush on my contractor has passed. Whew. Thanks for not attacking me when I posted about the crush 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:22 AM Flag
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I had a crush on my car mechanic. He's so smart, honest and gentle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Is Adventure Aquarium in NJ worth a visit? What about the Please Touch Museum in PA? Thx! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.29.16, 07:40 AM Flag
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Don't know about these but Woodloch Pines is great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:01 AM Flag
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How old are you kids. My dd loved Please Touch when she was 3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:10 AM Flag
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Aquarium is good for an afternoon. Drive in, drive out (neighborhood is SKETCH). Please Touch is expensive and dull. Franklin Institute is better if kids are 5+. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:08 PM Flag
[ - ] DH here. Any questions? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 06:47 AM Flag
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Quien es mas macho? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:28 AM Flag
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Are you gay [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:57 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:51 PM Flag
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Sure I'll give you a try. Why is my teen so grumpy in the morning? He is rude to us yet nice to everyone else. FWIW we are nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:35 AM Flag
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why the fuck would i have Qs for you. i have a dh of ny own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Did anyone read the book Lust and Wonder? The author describes the most complete love....it took him a long time to find it, but it's just so...genuine. It made me feel sad for myself that I don't have that with DH. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 04:09 AM Flag
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Manage your expectations better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 04:46 AM Flag
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This love is very elusive. Yes it's possible. No, not everyone gets it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 06:52 AM Flag
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You're not alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 08:13 AM Flag
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Ask him in five years. Ebbs and flows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 10:01 AM Flag
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THIS. Love changes IMO. DH and I were so in love, did everything together, great chemistry. Twenty years later we still love our marriage, family, etc... but we aren't joined at the hip like we used to be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:37 AM Flag
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It's a double-edged sword. Every great love story is destined to end in tragedy. No one lives forever, and eventually one of you will have to endure the other one pass away first, leaving you behind alone. It's all wonderful - until it's unbearable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 11:49 AM Flag
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read love in the time of cholera. it explains the many different ways that love changes over your lifetime. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 PM Flag
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Very interesting responses - thank you!! Op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:08 PM Flag
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