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[ - ] Some people really equate pets with children and seem to think their "fur children" are indeed equal to human children. If two videos were released, one with a man kicking a child and another with a man kicking a pit pull, I have no doubt the latter would spark more outrage and action. I like domesticated animals too and think they add a lot to society, yet how does this "pets before people" thinking develop? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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People are annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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A lot of people who don't relate well to other humans, relate to pets. Also lots of kids are annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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OP - good insight. I worked with a woman once who LOVED her cats. She was impossible to work with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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Relating to animals better doesn't mean animal welfare trumps human welfare. A nutty friend is all about her cats, if a roommate keeps the cats out if their room, the roommate is not suitable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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Why do you think dog is "God" backwards? Pets are precious. Your precious fucking snowflakes just aren't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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Why are you on UB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Just noticed it's Feb 1, and realized I failed at my new year's resolution already. I resolved to skip dinner one night each month and go someplace good for dessert. And I failed. ?!?!? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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Can we be friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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Only if you'll skip dinner and go out for dessert with me twice in February. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:34 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't get along with the parns in my dc class. They are so cliquie. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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Mine are very cliquey too - public/private? City/suburb? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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What do you do to meet people? Have you invited anyone out? I always find people who slam "cliques" have an innate expectation that the parents they deem confident are hosts of some kind responsible for organizing all things social. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you spend more each year on clothing or shoes/bags? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Clothes. I only have 3-4 pairs of shoes and 1-2 bags at a time and I pretty much use them until they fall apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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I have probably 200k of bags in my closet, but have not purchased a new one in years. I probably spend 2k a year in clothes and shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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that is the saddest sentence I've read in a long time. Please learn the art of living simply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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Who cares? I don't live in Manhattan and my children do not attend private school, my house is paid off. People in manhattan blow through 200k every ear on lots of things that I don't. Don't be quick to judge how people live based on one sentence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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How she chooses to spend her money is up to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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Definitely clothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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Clothes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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I buy about 3 pairs of shoes per year and 1-2 bags, spending on average about $250-$300 per item. I'm very very hard on shoes and bags and they rarely last beyond the year. I buy work clothes as infrequently as possible and wear them for years and years. Weekend clothes I buy very cheaply (old navy, target) but at 300hhi, I'm a UB poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Somehow I managed to marry someone just like many of your husbands. In addition to doing her best to find things to do that will keep her from interacting with the kids, this morning my wife woke up with an upset stomach which means she will be spending the rest of the day lying on the couch asking me to bring her things and having my keep the kids away from her while she naps in the middle of the house. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Guess you have a thing for drama queens. Enjoy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Why can't she lie in bed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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You put up with it and don't say anything. Your fault. No communication- downfall of any relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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I already told her twice that she should go get comfortable in bed. She refused. Short of carrying her into the bedroom I don't know what else to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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Did you tell her it's going to be impossible to keep the kids away from her if she stays in the living room? Why are you agreeing to this impossible task? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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You do not have to bring her things. If she is really milking it, call her bluff. Tell her you are doing something else, could she get it herself. If she claims she is too ill to do that, then offer to call the doctor or bring her to emergent care, as she should not go without medical attention if she is too ill to walk to the kitchen on her own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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Also, to hell with keeping the kids away from her while she naps in the middle of the house. You all live there, too, that is living space. She can move to the bedroom if she does not like the noise level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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Haven't you posted before about her? She walks all over you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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Dump sooner than later. You need a partner, not another kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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a love like this....wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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Suck it up today, but tomorrow sit down and tell her she needs to do her 50% with the kids. You need to be blunt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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Has she always been like this? Why doesn't she want to interact with her own kids? How old are the kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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And, because be said, the passive-aggressive "I managed to marry someone just like many of your husbands...." should be used at home not on UB. Strip the passive and use only the aggressive. Example? We are not like your wife, we married men. See? See how I did that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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*And, because it MUST be said.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Any chance of a snow day tomorrow (for NYC schools)? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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you are so funny, no, but this one will be bad, lol... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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God I wish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Well, at least I won't have to move my car--op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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I doubt it. Now it's saying wintry mix. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:19 PM Flag
[ - ] 11-year-old DS just read Are You There, God? It's Me Margaret. She loved it (and I think I read it about 5 times as a kid). Anyone have recommendations for other books for tween girls? Would love to find some girl fiction with a similar great message. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Blubber stayed with me a pretty long time. About bullying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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Blubber depressed the hell out of me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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I know, but in a way that is a powerful book. You never really forget it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Why not other Judy Blume books? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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Just As Long As We're Together (another JB book) was a pretty good one about middle-school girl friendships, body image, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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My Daddy Was a Number Runner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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Sharp Edges [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
[ - ] 7 yo ds' friend sold him something worth $2 for $20 during their playdate. How do you feel about this? Would you allow it? Would you say something? I thought 7 yo should not be selling and buying things amongst themselves? 70 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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I would not allow. Tell other mom that they're buying and selling from each other and you don't want them to do that. Do not point out that her kid cheated your kid, make it about exchanging money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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She knows about it. She has no problem with this. In fact, she brought her kids over to sell my kid stuff. I just did not know it involved so much money. I thought it'd be a dollar or two, so I did not care until I found out that they were dealing with $20, $40 - basically all my son's savings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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Then tell her that you don't want the kids to do business with each other. And also clearly your 7 yo is not ready to have so much money in his possession. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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He has no concept of money. Just spend his money on whatever he wanted to at the moment. Do you think these are learning opportunities before he blows away larger amount of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Np- this. Probably treating it like mnopoly etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Yes. Good life lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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Bring the stuff back, tell her you want your child's money back, avoid family in future [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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+1. This hustling shit doesn't fly with me. If the other mother refuses to return the money leave their stuff at their place. Drop them like a sack of shit. Then address the money thing with your D's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Would you sleep with a stranger for $1 million? Yes. Would you sleep with a stranger for $1? What do you thnk I am, a slut? Ma'am, we have already established that. Now we are negotiating a rate. If you're allowing your kid to buy crap from friends, and you're giving him his own allowance, you've set the stage. Not saying either thing is bad, just that you should use this as a teaching moment. Buyer's remorse is a good way to learn. Point out other things he could have done with $20. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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This is what I was thinking. I told him that I neither want him to make money from or lose money to his friend. Friendship should not have to do with money. This is my personal belief. Just not sure if I said the right thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Yes, but the bigger picture is making good financial decisions. Don't lose this opportunity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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Agreed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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Great way to explain it, and he learned a lesson on getting suckered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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WTF?!?! What mother would do this? Raising early hustlers!! LOL! Get your kids money back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Np- this. I would be mortified if I was the other mom! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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Nope. He loses the money and learns a hard lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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NOKD - stay far, far away. She would steal from you too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Are they gypsies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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Your 7-year-old carries cash? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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It was at our home. He gets $2/week. This is his savings for the last 10 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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What 7 year old has $20 on him? Time to teach your kid the value of money. He is clearly not ready to carry money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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See above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Still not ready to have 20 in a bank if he will spend it on crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Your 7yo carries $20? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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See above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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My opinion - you're going to have to let this go and treat it as a lesson. Don't let this scenario occur again - don't let her kids come over to sell things to yours, don't give your ds free reign to buy them for however much he wants to spend, etc. Mistakes happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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You are right. Next time before they come over, I need to talk to him before hand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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They wouldn't be back at my house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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I would be annoyed. It's a good lesson to teach your son about money and savings. Tell your DS he is not allowed to purchase anything before asking you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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I let him decide on what he wants to spend his own allowance on as a way to learn how to manage his money. The thing that really does not sit well with me is dealing money with friends, especially at this age and with so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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I agree, basically he was ripped off. Better he asks you from now on so you can teach him. We do the same with our 6 yo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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IMO, 7 is too young to handle money. My DC is 8 and does not have an allowance or any savings. If a family member gives a cash gift or gift card it goes in my wallet and we'll go shopping together to spend it. When this child came over to sell things to your DS, those transactions should have taken place in the living room with you watching. I assume you wouldn't have let DS lose on his own in a store with his piggy bank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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^^^ also, this family sounds very odd with their door to door tag sale. Wtf? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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This. What parent does this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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I thought this too. I can see how the mistake happened on OP's end, but I would never encourage my 7 y.o. to sell his toys to other kids, it sounds really indulgent at best, scam-artist at worst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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Yes, you are right. Maybe there should be adult supervision. We always talk about choices and make good choices for yourself. I gave him the power to make decision within defined permitters set by me. I should have preempted by taking his savings aways for the situation. Just did not think they would be dealing with so much money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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What was the item? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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coins. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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So he basically took $20 for a bunch of nickels and quarters? It's not even a subjective issue then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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np: In that case I actually would say something to the mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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Sit him down for a basic math lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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No, these are rare coins that kids collect that are worth some values over the face values. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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Np: did you research the coins to see if they're really only worth about $2? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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He did. i don't get too involved with his coin collections. There is a coin tractor that states the value (which is what they went by during selling/buying). But in reality there is limited channels to sell them, so these coins are never worth as much as the stated values. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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LOL - well, the friend found a channel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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You can't do anything about it now except let it be a lesson, but I would forbid this crap in the future. Frankly, I'm surprised the other mother didn't make her kid return the money. NOKD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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No one was really watching them. We had no idea what they actually traded until after the fact. All I know was the kids walked in with some coins and left with $20 with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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This. NOKD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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#Nokd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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Heavily NOKD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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At this age parents should be involved - who are these people that allow their children to swindle others out of $ at playdates? You can surely find better friends for your child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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TBH, if my kid came home with $20 from a play date, I would be calling you to see what's up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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That's my feeling. Not sure if this is what others do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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This. Actually I wouldn't call, I'd be ringing your doorbell to give it back and I'd be mortified. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Why did your 7yo have $20 cash on him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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In our home, his savings from his allowance for the past 2.5 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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Sorry, now I see. PP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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Np: she's already answered that - it was at their house, he wasn't walking around with $20 and it represents 10 weeks of allowance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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Great time to teach your son about how people will try to rip you off, and how to be careful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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His friend is a nice kid. I don't think he has the intention to rip my son off. Just thought the parents should be allowing the kids to deal with so much money amongst themselves. But I don't think she knew either. Anyway, my son should not have that much money in his hand to trade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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The other family is complete trash. I understand why you allowed the freedom in your home, thinking it was basically like trading baseball cards (yet cash for toys). I'd let it be a lesson to your son and never speak to that mom again, and forget playdates with the kids. No thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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I think she should at least bring it up first with the other mom before assuming the worst and cutting her off. The other mom may just be really naive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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it's a nice family. The kid is a nice kid. i just need to take his money away next time and only allow him to trade with a dollar or 2. I also told him that I don't want him to sell or buy things from his friend. Money and friendship should not mix. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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That's a good idea. Trading yes, selling no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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Why would the mom allow it though? You really think it is worth salvaging? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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Can I share a funny story with you, OP? When my ds was in first grade, I had a parent come give me a 20 dollar bill. Apparently, my son had it with him, and he offered to give it to the other parent's child if he would let him go ahead of him on the LINE TO BOARD THE SCHOOL BUS. I guess ds had figured out he could take 20s from my wallet and I would not notice. I stopped leaving my purse around just anywhere after that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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Lol. Actually, ds does this all time time. I will give you a candy if you let me do xyz. Not sure what to say about these things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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I would probably say, I don't need a candy, what else do you have to offer me that I want? Pick up your room? Sure, if you pick up your room we can talk about XYZ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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Your son will go far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Anybody has any tips on how to find an affordable 1 bedroom in Brooklyn or Manhattan (under $3000)? I mean, other than the usual craigslist, street easy, nytimes ads? Thanks. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:33 PM Flag
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p.s. how much in advance should I be looking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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2-4 weeks no more they will not show you stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Did you check Stuy town? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:37 PM Flag
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One bedrooms are over $3500 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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in Sty town i mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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They are 3.5, 3.7k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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Either Time Out kids or Mommy Poppins highlights an under 3k apartment every week. Check their FB pages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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On the local yahoo groups. Most NYC nabes have one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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hotpads [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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In Brooklyn I recommend you go with the local old school brokers. Walk around the neighborhood you want, go on the main avenue and find some of those offices that look like they're out of the 1970s (we have quite a few in Park Slope). I found a great 2 bedroom for 2300 with a low brokers fee this way last summer (which was such a frigging hard market!!) Manhattan is a whole other beast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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Holy shit... is it that expensive now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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no...I think OP wants a doorman building?? 2 beds in Manhattan can start at 3K not 1 beds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:10 PM Flag
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Ty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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you can find much cheaper 1 beds in many areas of brooklyn: bed stuy, crown heights (total hipster now), and bushwick are way under 3K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:10 PM Flag
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I deal with entry level employees coming in to NY. Most of them find 1 bedrooms for under $3000. Depends on your expectations - the apt may be a walk up, prob won't have gym, etc. Sometimes a broker helps them get a better rent or a later lease date so it may be worth it. UES will have the most for your money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Good morning everyone. What are people making to take to Super Bowl parties later? I'm looking for some inspiration. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:02 PM Flag
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pigs n blankets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:03 PM Flag
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Alwaya a crowd-pleaser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:08 PM Flag
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me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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Spinach dip w a hint of chipotle pepper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:10 PM Flag
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Do a plate of cheese cubes topped by cherry tomatoes, held together by toothpicks, two rows of crackers to the side [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:15 PM Flag
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One of my favorite things this time of year is looking at all the pictures on the Internet of super bowl cold cut spreads. Some of them are so amazing. Now I am getting hungry ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:20 PM Flag
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Yum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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you can look up the Rosa Mexicana Guacamole - it's crack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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I'm divorced and no one ever invites me to a Superbowl party :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Would you want to go? I am happy on my own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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I did not even like them when I was single and dating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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I don't know. Not into football, but it would be nice to be invited to a family party where kids are playing and there's nice food. I have a lot of friends but I get left out of stuff like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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Have one yourself next year or meet friends at a bar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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I guess it's a comment on our social lives that we don't know anyone watching the Super Bowl and haven't been invited to a party. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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You definitely know people who are watching. They just didn't invite you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:27 PM Flag
[ - ] http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-homelss-population-tops-59k-record-high-article-1.2099150 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:41 PM Flag
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WTF. Why do a story about the homeless spotlighting a single mother of twelve? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:43 PM Flag
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disgusting. probably six different fathers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:04 PM Flag
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I've seen so many out in this cold [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] When is it going to start snowing? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 PM Flag
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Tonight. Only 3-5 inches [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:53 PM Flag
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10pm in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:52 PM Flag
[ - ] How is Bobbi Kristina doing? Is she going to live? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 PM Flag
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call me crazy, but if there were no drugs or alcohol involved, i wonder if that brother-husband was trying to cash in .... although they did say he was supposedly the one who called 911 and was "trying to revive" her at the scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 PM Flag
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I'm not saying he did anything, but him trying to "save" her is a good cover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:54 PM Flag
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I am seeing things that say they've got her breathing but that she's technically brain dead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:42 PM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:50 PM Flag
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Whitney Houston's daughter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:55 PM Flag
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Then who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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Dionne Warwick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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this - this should not be "news" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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so sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:03 PM Flag
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csb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] do you cross poast on xoxohth.com? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 09:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. I hate DH so much so often but thinking back I remember there was like no one out there before I met him. Can't imagine life will be much better as a divorced 44 yo with a 4 yo child. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 09:00 AM Flag
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I guess it depends on a lot of things...I left my exH when I was 38, with a 1yo and a 3yo. But for me it was beyond hating him at times; he was awful to me and not very present. I am happier now, 8 years later, and was happy from day one of leaving. Have you considered trying couples therapy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 10:36 AM Flag
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I can't imagine thinking my life is better or worse only on the basis of whether there's a man in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 11:36 AM Flag
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Liking DH "just enough" until they get what they want (children) is endemic in American women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 11:37 AM Flag
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I actually loved my DH deeply when we were married. I felt like he was my best friend. We were poor and in school. Unfortunately when he became really successful, he changed ... why deal with your middle schooler with poor grades or eat spaghetti for dinner when you could have someone charter fly you to another city for an appearance? He just stopped wanting to "come home" because home was boring and tedious and kids don't bring you glasses of champagne. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 PM Flag
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And you prefer boring and tedious to jetsetting and champagne? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:42 PM Flag
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You two should have been upfront & honest about the lives you wanted. Too many people don't actually like or want children, but think they have to have them, and realize too late that children really are optional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:51 PM Flag
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+1 I lost the man I thought was the love of my life, because he wanted children and I didn't - but we were honest enough to admit it and break up and go on to have what we each wanted, instead of being trapped in an unhappy marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:55 PM Flag
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yeah it will, as you won't have to see him every day! that's how I feel at least, I can't decide if I hate my dh just because I'm 8 months pregnant or if I really truly hate him. we shall see. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 PM Flag
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np: When I was 8 months pregnant, I hated people for breathing. I'm usually a super mellow person and nothing bugs me. The pregnancy hormones made me think everyone was a tool. I have hope for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:58 PM Flag
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No, I would not rely on any particularly strong feelings while 8 months. You are not quite rational and are under a lot of stress. I wouldn't even trust my hormones for a good period after giving birth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 PM Flag
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Is it mutual? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 PM Flag
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So you would divorce with the intention of looking for a new partner while sharing custody of your 4 yo? I would think hard about that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 PM Flag
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she didn't say anything about a new partner?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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Let's try an easier solution first: find a relative, trusted nanny, etc. you can leave DC with for a few days, and go with DH. At least, get away with DH. I think a good chunk of this is resentment that you're not having any fun. Tell him that. Obviously, he'll understand the appeal of not being at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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It you're actually unhappy,and not being a drama queen...yeah your life will be better. If living with him is not that bad,then what does it matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a holy roller in their family. My BIL is a weird one...very catholic. He got my son a heinously ostentatious silver cross with jesus suffering on it for xmas and just today a book fell out of our camara bag that was "reasons to believe" religious book I guess he gave to DH for xmas. So weird. They guy is pushing 50 and has almost never had a girlfriend because they are no catholic enough or virgins. Weird relative. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 07:31 AM Flag
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Is your family is Catholic, he is merely on the spectrum. If not, he's an ass for giving you that stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 11:55 AM Flag
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You sound like a heathen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 PM Flag
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He might be in serious denial that he's gay because of the Catholicism. I suspect that a lot about some single male teachers in my dc's catholic school. I know they're vetted out because the school would not intentionally hire anyone gay (they tolerate gay students but not teachers) but they've just got that vibe about them to me. If I could call them eunuchs, I would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:27 PM Flag
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What if he's right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:43 PM Flag
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I had an ultra orthodox Jewish uncle by marriage. He was the Grandfathers' family favorite,but everyone else thought he was a pompous ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:04 PM Flag
[ - ] How to know when to throw in the towel on a relationship with someone who won't address their mental illness? In our case its dh's depression. It's been 12 years. I want the best for him but I'm totally drained and now being treated so poorly that I feel as though it's wrong to stay. We have a 2yo 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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I don't know (and had some times when I wondered that, too), but it's probably easier at age 2 than if you wait a few years. Is he getting any treatment or seeking any help? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:34 AM Flag
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No. He has in the past but is now dealing with chronic pain and taking pain meds again (ongoing thing, major surgeries). He's completely in denial that he ever had an issue, turning it into a conspiracy theory against me and part of how I "always get my way", am manipulative, etc etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:37 AM Flag
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OP again. Sorry to be so long winded. Long story short it's a roller coaster and I'm finally coming to the realization that that's all life will ever be with him. The worst part is that he speaks to me horribly in front of our daughter which is tipping the scales towards leaving. The lows are getting too low to make it worth sticking around for the highs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:40 AM Flag
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Sorry. There's no answer. You don't deserve to be treated badly. You ate justified in deciding that you can't stay with him if he won't seek treatment but I understand why it's so hard. It will not get better in its own, though. Good luck whatever you decide to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:39 AM Flag
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I feel like dd is little enough that if I leave now she won't remember much and I want to believe she wouldn't be negatively affected ... But I can't imagine him parenting on his own when he's at a low point. Sharing custody is a terrifying prospect with someone so unstable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:46 AM Flag
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Np: You would have to get those supervised some how. It sounds like you know what you need to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 05:52 AM Flag
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OR: I completely understand. You should speak with a divorce lawyer to find our about custody, what is needed for supervised visitation vs joint custody, etc. If you push him into therapy knowing that you plan to leave, be prepared that he may accuse you of setting him up (not a reason not to do it, but just know that might be how he sees it). Information about your options can only help you decide what to do, how and when. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 06:11 AM Flag
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Gosh, where are the sickness and health posters Just seems inconvenient to stay, really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 07:16 AM Flag
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NP: oh come on. nowhere does the OP mention "inconvenience", and you know darn well that what she is describing goes well beyond that. Her DH is emotionally abusive, and there is a child involved. If you want to harp on vows, sounds like he reneged on the whole "love honor and cherish" thing some time ago. Yes, there are medical factors influencing his behaviour and that is very sad, but if he can't (and maybe he really honestly can't) honor and cherish his wife enough to trust her when she says he has a problem, and to seek help to work on treating his family better, then I think she is right to consider her own wellbeing too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 11:35 AM Flag
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You're insane. She's being abused in front of her daughter. There's one answer here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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I have been there. Ended up staying, he is in a pretty good spot right now. Has his days but we have been getting along overall. Scary part is that I never know when he will he will go back to his depressed, mean state. Not a great way to live, but it's the path I chose. I couldn't get up the courage to walk away and sometimes, especially recently, I'm happy I stayed bc we've had a lot of good times since. It's not an easy decision. Best of luck to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 07:50 AM Flag
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Day 1. If a person won't deal with an illness, walk away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 11:37 AM Flag
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Especially if a child is involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:56 PM Flag
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I have a niece who married a depressed guy whom she spent a few years taking care of. She left, remarried happily and had a child. He ended up killing himself years later, not because she left him. You don't know what the future holds but you do know how awful the present can be. Don't waste your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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do a separation until he gets on proper meds for his depression and off the pain killers. DS is young enough that it will be easy to make the change. If he changes great get back together, if not Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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So. 10 years into this clusterfuck you think having a baby is a good idea? Women on here slay me. If you want your kid to grow up with a model of a profoundly dysfunctional relationship as his benchmark stay. You owe it to your kid to make a normal home for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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As someone in a similar situation, what I read in op's longer description is that it was up and down, be did get treatment and things got better - she probably decided to stay and have a kid when he finally seemed reliably stable, like they had been through the worst - and then be had this surgery, got pain meds, and now is worse than ever. Plus, kids can make a mental illness come to the fore in ways people don't often talk about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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