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[ - ] My DD is turning 16 and going out to eat this weekend with some friends. I will be paying for the group. Should I give her my CC, cash or a prepaid CC from drug store? I don't know exactly how much she will need. TIA 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Who is driving? Can you pay when you pick her up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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good idea but I won't be driving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Or she could call restaurant and ask if she can pay over the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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American Express has debit cards for teens. It's too late for this weekend but for the future. You can add money online and monitor spending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I'd get an Amex gift card for $100 more than the most you think she'll need. If the restaurant is on the ball, she might have trouble using your CC OR she could rack up a massive bill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4 yo tells me he wants to be bad. He says that he is a good boy at school but at home he wants to be a bad boy. He doesn't listen and fights me on everything. Did he come up with this all on his own? Why is he saying he is good at school but not at home? Do you think someone put this idea in his head? nanny? teacher? Is this normal (not the bad behavior but contrasting home to school). 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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The obsession with being "bad" is totally normal at this age. They also love the concept of "jail." You can joke with him about all the things that happen to "bad" boys in your home and try to be as funny and ridiculous as possible. You can also jail him in bed with snuggles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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It's normal. Being good at school all day is tiring and he wants to cut loose where it is safe to do so. Don't blame nanny! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] DB is 9 mos old and goes to daycare 2x/week. Still BF'ing. If I don't pump during the two days she's gone, will my supply go way down? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Your supply is probably pretty established at this point but everyone is different. Don't you get uncomfortable? Why not just pump at least once to be safe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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OP: I do get a little uncomfortable, but I just really hate pumping [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll- how many of you have 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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Ordered Holiday cards [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Nope. Need to get on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Have always gotten Tinyprints. quality gone a little downhill. any others worth a consideration? Minted? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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I usually order from Crane's. Photo card. Always take the pic of the kids the weekend before Thanksgiving and try to do cards over Thanksgiving and get them mailed Dec 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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started holiday shopping [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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We won't do that until the week between Xmas and NYE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking to catch a flight on a Thursday morning around 10am with little kids and wondering if a taxi from the UWS to Newark would be a lot worse than going to La Guardia time and cost-wise? The La Guardia flight is more expensive, so would prefer Newark, but not if the travel to Newark at that time would be a real pain 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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Always go EWR over LGA. So much easier. Any chance you can take NJTransit/Airtrain? It's the best - I only have one little DC, but this is what we always do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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Thanks. So do you mean LGA is a more difficult airport to navigate security etc..., or harder to get to from the UWS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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NJ transit wouldn't really make it worthwhile - me, 3 little kids and luggage puts it in the too hard basket :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Gotcha. I can see that! LGA is the most annoying, crappiest airport IMO. I love EWR - very easy to navigate, seems like less delays than LGA, etc. (I fly a lot for work, and will always go from EWR if I can). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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^I would just leave yourself a lot of extra time in the morning in case of traffic - but early headed out to NJ it shouldn't be bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I use to do NJTransit/Airtrain with no children too but would not recommend it with little kids and all the bags. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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no way in hell re going to EWR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I personally like Newark, but I live on the far east UES so LGA is significantly closer. I think for you, time-wise is probably similar. I would just keep an eye on traffic on the Hudson crossings - sometimes, the longer route of going GWB or Holland saves you time over getting stuff in the mess than can be the Lincoln tunnel. But at 8am, you really are going against the traffic regardless. taxi will cost more to Newark. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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hmmm, so one yes for EWR, one no. Any other takers? JFK is an option too I have just seen on the flight schedule..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I like going to EWR from the west side. It's more miles but you move so much more quickly and at that time of day will be doing a reverse commute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] I am drinking a liter bottle of diet coke- guess my weight? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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250lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] mom of MS or HS kids- what things are you glad you did with DC in elementary? and what things would you do differently if you cud do it all over again- Academitcs, and non academics and in terms of values etc-TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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We encouraged her to read everything she could get her hands on, and I see a definite reflection in her PSAT/SAT scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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This is a hard question for me. The things I was most unhappy with were the types of friends and boyfriends she chose to associate with. I'm not sure if we moved or sent her away she wouldn't have just found the same types of kids. She was always attracted to the flames. Academically she was always fine, and she ended up going to her 1st choice college in the end, so I'm not sure I would go back and change anything. Even though it was literally exhausting to raise her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
[ - ] In college I interviewed with family who had a child that shared my first name. The mom hired me, but told me I would have to come up with a new name for the family to call me because it would be t oconfusing having two "Alisons". Turned that one down immediately! There are so many crazy women in this city! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Probably just wanted you to be called Ali or something while you're working. Don't see that as a big deal. Not like you're Alison and she suggested you be called Zoe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Nope she wouldn't allow any nick names of my regular name because that would be to confusing too. She suggested calling me Katherine. WTF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Now that's weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Anybody ever try celexa for depression or anxiety? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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There's definitely at least one person here who loves it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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really? good to know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ladies know of any sales jobs that are lucrative? I'd prefer something where I'd get to travel a bit. TIA! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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Pharmaceutical rep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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Professional drug dealer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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np: Hijack: I think they might be one and the same. I finally got my Adderall refilled today. A poster said o me "Congrats! You're addicted to amphetamines" when I complained about not being able to get it refilled on Tuesday, and I had the sinking suspicion today she might be right ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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np: What did you say to your psychiatrist to get i? I think I need it too. I'm constantly late for things, losing keys, disorganized, last minute doer, always living in a state of frantic panic when I have to transition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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I've been on it since high school, but I would try just talking to your doctor about your concerns. If these really are things you're worried about, medication will help, but they won't fix everything, so he/she can also give you some tips on how to increase productivity. Ex- My Adderall isn't shutting off UB and doing my work for me right now :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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you can stop if you really want to. It has been done. How many mgs are you on? and how long have you been taking it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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You have no idea what you are talking about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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What kind of experience do you need? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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NP - this is not lucrative at all these days and jobs are disappearing. All pharma cos are downsizing and shifting to contract sales orgs which don't pay anything. Technically, these aren't even "sales" jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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NNP - seriously! Go read Cafepharma for a bit and then decide if it a good field to go into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Hedge fund marketing. Don't be put off by the word marketing, it is a sales position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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Worker's Comp, believe it or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Have some down time, please recommend a good movie I can watch on Netflix 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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The Immigrant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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serving life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Adore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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north and south (bbc version) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Not a movie but love Call the Midwife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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Does it have to be on Netflix? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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yes that's what I have [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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And you wouldn't be willing to use any of the free streaming websites, like tubeplus or losmovies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Little White Lies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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not sure if it's on Netflix but recently watched "Million Dollar Arm" - uplifting and there's Jon Hamm :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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Ella Enchanted if you want something light hearted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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thanks all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
[ - ] I can understand worried about DCs growing up and out but...I've told my ds, just turned 14, that when he graduates from high school he is get a job, find a room-mate, and move out into a (family owned) apartment. 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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Not go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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He is applying to all the early college high schools so he will get an AA degree. He will get a 2 year break from school, which is what he wants out-of this deal, to work and figure out life a bit. If at that point he wants to transfer his credits to a 4 year college, anywhere in the US, we will pay for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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I would hate to think where I would be if I lived the life I wanted at 14. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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The 2 year break from school begins at 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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Missing my point. You are saying this is what he wants NOW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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OP. No, I'm say 1) 2 yrs accelerated hs. 2) AA degree, technical field 3) job 4) find room-mate + get the prize - 2 bedroom apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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And I am saying that AA in Tech Field may not come close to meeting standards of selective schools and may not be best for him. Additionally, schools that give merit based aid generally only give to freshman not transfers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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OP. I actually don't care about that. He could start from scratch on a four year degree. He doesn't need merit aid - most aid these days is need-based. Maybe he will even establish himself as an independent student. Look I'm not trying to convince anyone else to do this. Didn't Michael Dell go ahead to school to please his parents and secretly run the business from his dorm room. It takes all types to make the world go 'round. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Sigh. You are missing my point. Many scholarships are only available to Freshman. Merit, or no need, scholarships are not about being independent. Many schools want to up their average SATs. Yes, it takes all kids, but YOU are making this decision based on 14 YO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Yes, and Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard. But is your son these people, or just a nerdy misfit who doesn't like other kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I would be careful with the "let's give a family-owned apartment to two 18-year-old guys, I'm sure this experience can only be good" approach. Just saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:56 PM Flag
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No one is giving. They will pay rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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What are you going to do if they come up short sometimes? I'm just trying to envision what jobs they're going to have at age 18 that pay them enough for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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The room-mate won't necessarily be 18. Why would he (or she). I am an experienced landlord - I don't need their money. The worst thing would be for my son to have to move back into our home - from his point of view. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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I never wanted to move back home either ... that's why I went away to school and stayed there. I don't understand why your son can't go away to school and live in the dorms/apartment there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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He wants a break from 'schooling'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I totally agree. Those boys are going to name it the Pussy Pad or Fuck Flat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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Like his dorm room or off campus apartment wouldn't be the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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Dorms have curfew and landlords have more rules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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No they don't. None of my dorms ever had a curfew. And my off-campus apartments had no "rules". Did you go to school in the middle east? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Close, midwest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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I also went to school in the midwest. Did you go to a small girls school or something? I went to a large private uni, and it was pretty much a free-for-all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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If you own the apt. how does that make him independent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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I won't be providing anything for him but the lease and the keys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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What kind of job can a high-school graduate get that would pay market rate for NYC rent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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He will have an AA in a technical field. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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He will pay 25% of his monthly full-time salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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What if he doesn't want to live in your apartment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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He does..heck he wants to buy the building from us eventually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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And won't all of his friends be away at school? Or do you live in an area where many graduates don't go to college and/or live at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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We live in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Okay. But his high school friends will be elsewhere, no? Even if they go to NYU or Columbia, won't they live near the campus? And everyone else will be in different cities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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So? Social media has made proximity irrelevant to this generation. My son has friends all over US and Canada. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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And that's a little sad. Don't you want him to cultivate friendships with real people in real life? But honestly, it also sounds like he might be a little Aspie and not so good with social skills. In that case, a real university setting could be too stressful for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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What age-appropriate roommate is an 18-year old boy going to find. Everyone else his age will be at college. I appreciate the sentiment, but it may not be possible with his age cohort. Also, those early college high schools don't really give that many credit for a real university. He will likely still need to attend for 4 years, and now he'll be 2 years older than everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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Which is exactly what I want. And yes, I have rentals and have rented to various young people so I don't think that will be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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np: fwiw, plenty of people do not go straight to college after HS and plenty of others live at home or in apartments w rommates and attend local community college or state schools. you have to braoden your horizons a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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OP. Yes, thank you. This is a good path, particularly for a certain kind of young man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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A young man who is not that motivated and can easily move into the family business, so does not need to find a job outside of mom/dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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This plan has him excited. The prospect of four years of high school does not. This is a drop-off prevention tactic, I will admit, for a very very bright boy (think of the tumblr founder, David Karp). We do not have a family business - just a small rental property which he has expressed interest in owning one day. Nothing wrong with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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I knew it. Aspie, and socially awkward. Hopefully he will be the next David Karp, otherwise you have to start teaching him social skills now, especially if you will be retarding his social-emotional growth by keeping away from his appropriate age cohort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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You realize thousands of kids around NYC are also doing early college, right? His social skills are fine, and we live in an areas with tons of college aged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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LOL @ (family owned) apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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I think this is an excellent idea as long as he truly has to pay his way. Doing well in college requires maturity and this is a good place to start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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harvard university published an article recently describing the benefits of a "gap year" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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Op. Link please? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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He has no incentive to get his own place. He has it too good at 25% rate. Let him live with you, save money to get his own place. He will care for it more if it's his own plan and home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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He will have an incentive once the percentage of his salary is great enough to equal or exceed market rent or when we have him move out b/c there's a younger sibling who is ready to take over the apartment, which ever comes first. I don't mind if he or other dc lives there indefinitely...that's why I bought the building. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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I know you want to help your kids, and you think your are making them independent, but you are infantalizig them and it will be a lot harder for them to do things -- like finding a job on their own, taking care of themselves -- as they get older. You are not helping them leave the nest, you have just given them another nest and allowed yourself to continue to control their lives. This will not end well for them and their future relationships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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+1 Another nest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Who makes solid plans for the future with a 14 year old boy? Are you aware of how undeveloped his prefrontal cortex is?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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He's excited, and motivated by this plan. So if he decides to go straight to college and can make it happen I would be fine. But he wants to take a break from school very soon and I don't want him to be an unskilled h.s. drop-out with failure to launch. This plan is no more solid than another families plan to do Stuy and then HYP lol. He loves this idea - my unmotivated 14 year old boy (can anyone relate to that) is excited about school, working and life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Serious question. Would you rather have a video gam playing, grad degree loafer dh, who was an excellent and attentive father, home every night, and went out only 3-5 times a month with his male friends, or have a high earning dh who is hardly home, possibly cheating? 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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those options both sound terrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:54 PM Flag
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If you had to choose which would you prefer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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probably #2 but only if I didn't really love him and wouldn't care about cheating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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You would have dc with someone you didn't love? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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You must be new here, welcome to UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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Those are the choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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Yes, between those two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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The loafer has no income? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Yes he does but far less than he could be earning. He's a loafer not a deadbeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Does video-game playing dad have a job? Or is he a SAHD. If he's a SAHD, then I choose option C) sperm bank and have kids on my own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Or even D) No children, just cats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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No, he has a job but it's not high earning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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Is "not high-earning" like $40k, or like $80k? If it's $40k, he may as well be a SAHD, so we revert back to Option C. if it's $80k, my next questions are 1) how is he in bed?, and 2) can I keep my real life job and salary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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It's between 40 and 80 and he's the best ever in bed. He's a little chubby, less selfish, will please and last for at least an hour. Yes you can keep your life and salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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^^Oh I just read above that you mean "loafer" like he loafs around. I thought you were referring to his shoes, as in he dresses well. Option C. I'd rather just have kids by myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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(long pause.) Really? Who thinks loafer means well dressed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, one of my talents is usually interpreting very poorly-constructed sentences. In rare cases (such as this), I over-interpret and mangle a perfectly fine sentence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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If you're going to make a bitchy comment why even reply? I was asking if anyone else thinks loafer means well dressed. That too must have been a poorly constructed sentence. Seeing as how I don't have proper grammar I must be of no use to you and you must be moving along now to better things. Bye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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You would rather have kids on your own, than a low-earning/SAHD? That makes no sense. A man has no value -- even if he takes care of the house, kids, you -- if he doesn't earn any money? But a SAHM is TOTALLY the opposite? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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I have no disrespect towards SAHMs, but I don't want to be a SAHM and I wouldn't want to be married to a SAHD. I once dated a real estate heir who lived off of his trust fund and played tennis all day. I quickly began to loathe him for his lack of ambition. I would have no respect for a low-ambition husband, even if finances weren't an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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But was he still a good dad? It's one thing to play tennis all day, but another to always have time for your kids between serves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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plus video games and food cost less than daycare. wake up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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especially 24/7 daycare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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I have never been presented with a choice like this in IRL. Maybe I would pick the nicer one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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neither [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Former, but the women who get into #2, typically know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Depends. What is the wife's financial situation? Career? Family money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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This. If his contribution to the family is 50% income and 50% household help, than that is roughly the same as a DH who contributes 90% income and 10% household help. Do you consider a man a loafer because he doesn't work 80+ hours a week even if he's a devoted father? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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i would prefer A and that’s pretty much what i’ve got [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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Same here and I love him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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High earner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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Sell your soul to Satan while you're at it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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Have you met men that play video games? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Cheating is never OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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neither. With those choices, I'd rather be single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Mom to 2 kids here, they attended private school in NYC for 4 and 6 years (respectively) and then we left city for the burbs. They are now in 4th and 6th grade in a well-regarded public suburban school. Major differences (for us mostly good differences but I know their old school was amazing for many kids). Any questions? I'm an involved PT (freelance) working mom so I'm really involved with academics, homework, PTA/PA (at both schools). 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.30.14, 03:48 PM Flag
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What do you think are the academic differences? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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Private school did far more self-directed writing, much less actual teaching of writing, spelling, grammar etc. This was fine for some kids but my DCs are doing much better with a more traditional approach to writing (spelling tests, learning grammar, well-defined (shorter) writing assignments. Writing overall was at a much higher level at the private school, arguably the expectations were too high for my DCs (especially my younger DS). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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what suburb is this? I want a more traditional school for my kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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I think the private school classes were filled with very gifted/advanced readers/writers who didn't need much more than being given a cool assignment and a little help editing. The school credited itself with having a very strong writing program yet it was largely self-directed with very little actual instruction. My kids floundered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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Math at the public school is far more rigorous, more work and more quizzes/tests/assessments. Private school was obsessed with teaching math in a "metacognitive" way so kids understood the concepts. That's fine to introduce a math concept but ultimately someone (me!) needed to teach them how to actually work out the answers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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Go ahead and summarize your thoughts then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:54 PM Flag
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One huge difference is the age range. In DS's private school, the oldest boy started 5th grade at age 11+. At the public school many kids starting 5th are still 9. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Public school has WAY more structure and clear expectations. This is better for my DCs. I always thought I'd love "progressive" education and I did for the youngest grades. My kids need quizzes, tests and clear assignments. Turns out they were not self-motivated and self-directed enough for their private school. I felt like I was teaching them most of what they needed to know (especially spelling, grammar, math). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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I know I don't want progressive until HS. I asked above, what town did you move to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Don't want to out myself. Westchester though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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You're smart to know this now. With 20/20 hindsight I now know that their elementary experience was way too loose/unstructured. Frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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Thanks. It is just what I experienced as a child. Completely opposite of what is done here. Very traditional at young age giving us the building blocks like arithmetic, grammar, spelling, small writing paragraphs but as we got older it became more progressive allowing us to use the knowledge we acquired at young age to experiment. I couldn't have been who I am if I didn't have these building blocks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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^^ IMO progressive elementary schools are delegating teaching back to the parents. I WOH and have more than 1 child so that isn't feasible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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OP here: I 100% agree. And any kid who doesn't get the basics quickly, easily the "progressive" teacher starts suggesting tutoring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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It makes me wish I had millions of $$s to open my own school. I having been going to school tours for my younger and older dc. (K and 6th grade) I want to go in-front of the parents and say the absolute opposite of what most of the principals are saying. One can always dream:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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non academic differences? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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That is where there are the most major differences. I don't want to be majorly negative about the private school culture but it got harder and harder as my kids got older and were more influenced by their peers. Having a larger peer group is a huge improvement for my DCs though, their tiny private school classes and grades weren't as great as I thought they'd be as they got older. I'm so impressed by the work ethic, family involvement and huge variety of interests among the public school peer/friends and families we've met. Parents are more involved and available, it's a more family-centered scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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do you feel that they learn more at school now? whereas before they were only learning from you? Which requires less parental involvement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Much more actual academic work happens at school, fewer "specials" and fewer distractions. Also, way more actual days IN school! Public school has 20 more days in schools year, that's a full month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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so public has more homework? what do you mean by more structure? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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Same basic amount of homework actually but WAY more work coming home from school each week. Clear curriculum in math, quizzes/tests in many subjects. Writing assignments are more succinct, more clear in their goals. For example, private school would have them write/edit/rewrite the same "piece" for weeks (IMO not developmentally appropriate for 2nd/3rd grades). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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Emphasis on group projects at DC's private also did not work for my kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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what are the hours? 8-3? is there recess? Lunch break? Whats the social scene like in class? are there cliques? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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Do you think you could have had the benefits of this public school at a private school in NYC with a traditional philosophy? It sounds like the choice of a progressive education was at the mistake, not whether it was a private or public school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Another UB-er with a weird ax to grind against progressive education. You'll definitely find like-minded folks here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Why would someone become a D.O. instead of an M.D.? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:47 PM Flag
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I think its a great choice. I have one friend who is an MD and one who is a Dentist. Dentist has much more flexibility, much easier to start your own practice, they earn about the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:47 PM Flag
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np. D.O. - Osteopathic Doctor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:49 PM Flag
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a DO is a dr. of osteopathy. not a dentist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:50 PM Flag
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D.O.'s shake your body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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- s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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One is a lot more difficult [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:47 PM Flag
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I.Q. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:49 PM Flag
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Interested in a more natural/holistic approach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:50 PM Flag
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I am closely related to two D.O.s. They did it because they couldn't get into M.D. school, honestly. But once they're in their third year of medical school it really doesn't matter anyway. The best docs have little to do with where they went to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:50 PM Flag
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This. It has holistic approach ("the best way to feel better is to be less stressed, not by taking all these pills") but in practice attracts people who generally could not get into medical school for whatever reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:51 PM Flag
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Can they write rx? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:54 PM Flag
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Yes. In the US MDs and DOs are legally identical. It's largely a historical artifact at this point, although there are lingering prestige differences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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My boyfriend in college became a D.O. In his case, he did not get into medical school, and this is why he chose to become a D.O. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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^^I knew a few people whose hearts were set on becoming doctors. Some became D.O.s, others went to medical school in Grenada. Are people still doing that??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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yes! The Carribean has very many medical (and veterinary) schools, popular with US students who couldn't get in anywhere else. Also India is a good second choice for English speaking students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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med school is harder to get into than osteopath school. that being said, some folks like the philosophy (more holistic, less interventionist). you may be being treated by a DO and not even know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:50 PM Flag
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np: ita. i also think that times are changing and there are more young people choosing the DO path for this reason, than simply that they couldn't get into med school. if they do well and get a good residency, that's more impt. one of the top orthopedists in NYC is a DO for example. he's regularly in NYMag top docs, etc. - but his philosophy is less surgical intervention and more rehab oriented. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:56 PM Flag
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Dentist earning potential very high. Fees dont have to be limited by Insurance company reimbursement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:50 PM Flag
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D.D.S. = dentist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Neighbor's daughter is getting a D.O. I think it is cheaper and easier to get into than med school. She's very bright, but went to a large state school for financial reasons and wasn't in the top 1%. She'll make a wonderful doctor, so I think it's great that she has that option. She'll be a far better physician than some of the psychopaths I knew from college who went to med school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:56 PM Flag
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May also have to with location. In my state we have only a DO program, so if somebody wants to practice medicine it is the only option if they want to stay close to home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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