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[ - ] How do I stop emotional eating at night? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:49 AM Flag
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no food after dinner until breakfast. drink water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:52 AM Flag
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My dinner gets too big. I eat and eat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:55 AM Flag
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small plate. half vegetables, quarter lean protein, quarter legumes/fiber. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Kybella or Ultherapy? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:44 AM Flag
[ - ] DS called me an idiot this morning because I couldn't zip his coat. I'm hurt. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:38 AM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:39 AM Flag
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Hurt? I would be SO mad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:41 AM Flag
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She won't say how old, but I would have slapped him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:43 AM Flag
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That would not go over at my house. Why in the world would he think it was OK to say that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:43 AM Flag
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Please. He needs some discipline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:46 AM Flag
[ - ] No good deed goes unpunished. Tried to do well by my sitter and helped her find extra work with another family. The other family requested a trial this morning (the day she works for us) and I agreed. Of course kids woke up sick and I have an important meeting at work. I never learn 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:25 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. I'm nice like this too. Maybe call & see if they can reschedule the trial? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:27 AM Flag
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Thanks. I am not going to mess with it given the energy it took to find this family. I have to stop doing things like this though as it always backfires on me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:29 AM Flag
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np: I'm not trying to be snarky, but why were you trying to help your sitter find another family? Was it because she was going to quit you if she couldn't fill out a full time schedule with some sort of sharing element? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:31 AM Flag
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She isn't going to quit. I pay as well in 35 hours as she would get in 50 with a new family. I did it for her benefit and am now regretting it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:33 AM Flag
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I'm telling you, I used to be beyond kind & generous. No more. I have found *most* people are users & don't deserve my kindness. I still do a lot but just for a small close circle of people who treat me well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:32 AM Flag
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I need to learn to do this. I always burn myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:36 AM Flag
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What you both need to learn to do is be kind because it's kind not because you expect something in return. Then set healthy boundaries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:38 AM Flag
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I don't expect anything in return. I just keep burning myself for no reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:39 AM Flag
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Pp : isn't that just charity? I do that as well. But I'm taking about real give & take friendships. Of course, I want to get something out of a friendship. I don't want tit for tat but I want to feel valued & that they would be there for me too. I'm a good person not a saint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:41 AM Flag
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If you used to be beyond kind and generous and now you're not you're changing for the worse bc of your expectations of others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:44 AM Flag
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I don't think it's for the worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:45 AM Flag
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Lol. Ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:46 AM Flag
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What? I do charity for people & expect nothing in return when I want to. My close circle of friends are people I go out of my way for & I want to feel valued & know they have my back too. What is your issue with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:54 AM Flag
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If it has made you less kind and less generous something about your expectations are off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:55 AM Flag
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Not at all. It means I was a people pleaser. I still kind and generous. Sometimes it is to strangers as charity. Sometimes it is to a clos friend. Have I become less kind and generous to people in my life who don't care enough about me to ever return the favor- you bet. I am not talking about them doing tit for tat. I am talking about people who always take but never give back. Yes I am less kind & generous to those people. I gave to those people and I got tired of it. I honestly don't get why you take issue with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 12:02 PM Flag
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That is because pp is a USER & depends on the charity of people pleasers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 12:08 PM Flag
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OP: ITD. I think OR is just better at learning life lessons than I am. You have to be selective in whom you go out if your way for or you/your own family suffers. Life is a strange equation where giving others often means taking from yourself. Right now I have no choice but to send a sick kid to school till noon which is wrong for my kid and for all the other kids at school so I end up hurting more people than helping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:47 AM Flag
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But that's not because you selected the wrong person to help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:49 AM Flag
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I should have said no to my day. They would have either accommodated another day or someone else would come along [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:52 AM Flag
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Exactly. You saying yes to your day makes no sense no matter who the people involved are. It's not about who you select to help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:54 AM Flag
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True. My issue is that I need to learn to be firm and to never sacrifice my family's needs for others. This doesn't mean I don't help but I need to learn to do it in a more selective manner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:56 AM Flag
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You're in this situation because you chose to help at the wrong time. It has nothing to do with being selective about who you help. The problem is you choosing to help in a way that isn't practical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:50 AM Flag
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I chose to sacrifice my needs for someone else. That's my constant mistake and my kids/dh/parents/siblings are the ones who often pay for this because I do it in the expense of helping them or bring with them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:53 AM Flag
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^ I recently helped a friend who really wanted my help but honestly she didn't need my help. I left my kids with overtired dh and went to help. Dh fell asleep and my youngest got hurt and needed stitches. I should have said no. I put my dh and my dcs in a bad spot trying to help. When I was single/child free it was less of a choice but now someone always pays for my time away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:51 AM Flag
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Again, this is not an issue of being selective about who you help. It's an issue of boundaries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:52 AM Flag
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Your dh fell asleep while in charge of your kids and your take away is that the problem is you choosing to help a friend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:53 AM Flag
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Yes, he just flew back from Japan (buns was trip) and was exhausted/jet legged and sick. I knew better. It was bad judgment on my part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:57 AM Flag
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This has nothing to do with the op,though. Whose the user in this situation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:39 AM Flag
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OP: how in the world am I a user? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:40 AM Flag
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Pp That's my point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:41 AM Flag
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I didn't say anyone in *this* situation was a user. I just said that is why I stopped trying to help & please randos who wouldn't do it for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:43 AM Flag
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Never share your sitter. Especially with friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:29 AM Flag
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They aren't friends. I employ her for 35 hours a week. She wants more hours. I can either help her find another gig that compliments our needs or hire someone else to work for us full time at lower rate. Right now I am thinking that I made a big mistake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:32 AM Flag
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Sounds like you cannot afford her. What you pay her isnt enough to cover her bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:35 AM Flag
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Sounds like you needed to make a snide comment this morning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:37 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:39 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:40 AM Flag
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Ooh, yeah. Lesson learned. Don't help your sitter get other jobs unless you really don't need her. Especially with your friends! Maybe find another sitter to rely on. Gotta have a deep bench. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:30 AM Flag
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Why get rid of one & deal with hiring and training another one if there is no problem? Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:33 AM Flag
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Why not with friends? Curious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:34 AM Flag
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She the OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:36 AM Flag
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^*^* see the op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:36 AM Flag
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This family isn't someone I know directly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:37 AM Flag
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It always ends badly. Lose friends and employee. It's a rule like 3 kids on a play date. Something you just don't do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:39 AM Flag
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I have three kids for playdates all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:40 AM Flag
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There is one in every crowd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:41 AM Flag
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+1 Why is this a problem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:42 AM Flag
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Bc pp's snowflake can't handle playing nicely with two children at once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:45 AM Flag
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Got you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:40 AM Flag
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OR: I'm not OP. You know, I guess it depends on the friends. I have a set of friends who are really bad at sourcing everything, including babysitters. They're also really scared that every sitter is then going to be awful or abduct their children. They will only use sitters that I have pre-vetted and it kind of bugs me. They make it my problem. Find your own sitters! Stop being lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:42 AM Flag
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Next time: she is not available on Monday as that is when she works for us [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:31 AM Flag
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If they need her to work during the hours you already use her how could this be a good fit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:47 AM Flag
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They don't but fir some reason they where rushing to try her and pushed for Monday while her first availability was Wednesday. I should have said "too bad" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Again with the birthday planning season!! Where should we have dd's party? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 10:51 AM Flag
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Mandarin Oriental. If you have unlimited $$$ If you are limited let us know budget please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 10:57 AM Flag
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also might help to know age of dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:05 AM Flag
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She is 23 and budget is the sky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:25 AM Flag
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okey doke. Mandarin Oriental spa day and lunch with her gfs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:27 AM Flag
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I don't want lunch with her gfs.. I want a large party. Family & friends. I was hoping for creative suggestions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:34 AM Flag
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Oheka Castle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:49 AM Flag
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Pleasantdale Chateau [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:50 AM Flag
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Rainbow Room [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.26.16, 11:51 AM Flag
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