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[ - ] Marriage cannot work when the husband wants to live the single life most of the time while also getting the benefits of a wife and children. DH has been out alone every night this week while I am at home with 2 dcs. If I say anything, I am the bad guy. Time to move on. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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Marriage cannot work if your expectations differ from reality. But you can change or lower expectations. Some women might accept this arrangement in exchange for financial security. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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Were you surprised he wanted to live the single life or not really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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What a tool. How will you fare in the divorce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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What do you mean by "time to move on?" How will you move on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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np: find another man who is not the father of these children but who will stay home with them anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:41 PM Flag
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Good luck with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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depends why he's out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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Drinking problem? My dh was same but has changed a lot. I believe he still has problems with drinking but it's gotten better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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Book a sitter and take some evenings out yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:48 PM Flag
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For better or until reality sets in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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This exact arrangement works perfectly for DH & me, but as you & others said, it has to be what both people want. I love that my evenings are quiet and that DCs and I go to bed at the same time, and I get so much good sleep. DH loves that, after homework & dinner & cleanup, he can go out with the guys. I also love that he realizes most women would not put up with it, so he buys me pretty things and gives me more than half of our spending money, to do things I want to do on the weekends or to hire a sitter if I want to go out with friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:51 PM Flag
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ILU. Thank you for being honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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This was me. DH had long since stopped wanting to have sex with me and he was running around doing whatever he wanted while I was raising our kids. I went to a divorce attorney and listened to my options. The one where I would be single and over 40 and dependent on alimony and child support which would end in 10 years didn't appeal to me, so I decided to stay married and let him do what he wants. The hard part was falling out of love with him and with the idea that the marriage would always be what it was when we started out. Once I got over that, everything got a lot better. You can't always get what you want; but if you give it a try, you just might find you get what you need. And so on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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ILU. Thank you, also, for being honest. All this "get divorced" crap is, well, mostly crap, and not in anyone's true interest. For most of time, marriage had nothing to do with love, and everything to do with practicality. So if it works for you, then awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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Very practical! I like how you reasoned through your options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:56 PM Flag
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"We can't always get what we want. We can't always get what we need. Just as long as we don't get what we deserve!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:57 PM Flag
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he may be having an affair. i would check computer, phone, phone records, etc., even hire a PI if you can affoard it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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np: So what if he is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:57 PM Flag
[ - ] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2813591/Miley-Cyrus-Rihanna-leave-little-imagination-barely-frocks-amfAR-Inspiration-Gala-Los-Angeles.html 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:29 PM Flag
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Yuck, both of them. And that mother looks like she's had a total face transplant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:32 PM Flag
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Not much left to the imagination. The only shocking thing, I mistook Rita Wilson for Vicki Gunvulson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:31 PM Flag
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Shock value aside, some of those dresses look like cheap crap. Gwyneth is showing her age. She's too old for that look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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I'm not a fan of Goopie but she is easily the best dressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] How much money have you spent so far today? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:29 PM Flag
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0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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This. Got up, got DCs off to school, worked for a few hours, now goofing off and trying to decide what to do for lunch. Probably just leftovers, but this post makes me want to go out for lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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$1,200. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:35 PM Flag
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Already hit the shops? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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Online shopped on the train and a coffee. To be fair, this was prompted by my work pumps having a hole in the bottom and the heels being shredded. I bought two pairs of heels on bluefly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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$12 (coffees) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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0, unless you count money already spent on the food in dds' lunches. If that's the case, probably about $1.50. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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$11.50 (coffee and a sandwich). $14.00 (cab to office). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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5.41 for 2 coffees [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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33K. Paid 2nd semester college tuition [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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Congrats! Get a windfall of money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Any gardener moms out there? We just purchased a home in westchester and of course 3 trees need to be cut down today. Any ideas on how I can use the fresh cut wood chips for mulch? any advice would be great! TIA! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:22 PM Flag
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my only advice (as a westchester mom) is to not hire a gardener that uses leaf blowers. all they do is blow from your yard into your neighbor's yard (who then hires the same guy to do it all over again down the street.) Good luck...any idea what kind of trees? I could use pine chips... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:27 PM Flag
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lol thanks! yes I have seen that but luckily you blow the leaves to the curb and village picks them up, they are some type of maple trees, I think. I will ask! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:32 PM Flag
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thats what they tell you, but most of the leaves end up on someone elses lawn! I watch it every day!!! Are you in larchmont? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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How close are your neighbors? And why do the trees have to be cut down (disease? property line dispute? city ordinance?)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:36 PM Flag
[ - ] MY ASSHOLE IS THIRSTY FOR SEMEN 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] There is semen in my FAGHOLE 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:15 PM Flag
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OMG SAME +1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:18 PM Flag
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+2 And what a morning it was... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:22 PM Flag
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+3.13 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:24 PM Flag
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+4 In my case, it was night before! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:40 PM Flag
[ - ] YUM, DADDY! SEMEN! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:13 PM Flag
[ - ] How many woman are a size 12 on this board? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:00 PM Flag
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Why do you ask? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:02 PM Flag
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I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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Ok but why are you asking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:05 PM Flag
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I meant to reply to the OP. I am a size 12. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:06 PM Flag
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I'm a 10-12, depending on the clothes/store/style. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:05 PM Flag
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Ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:23 PM Flag
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183 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:08 PM Flag
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I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:10 PM Flag
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YUM! SEMEN! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:13 PM Flag
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Me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:12 PM Flag
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I am a size 2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:16 PM Flag
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I am size 10-12 & 5'7." My size is never constant. Was size 8 over the summer, then ran into a busy/stressful few months. Maybe height should be part of the question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:21 PM Flag
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Yes, there are so many factors. I still don't understand why women's clothes can't be sold by measurement, rather than by unstandardized sizes. Why can't I buy pants by waist, hip, and inseam? Or a blouse by bust and shirt length? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:32 PM Flag
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Too many combinations. Numbered sizes were supposed to "streamline" the industry but now the standards have been changed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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I suspect that was an excuse, because manufacturers knew that a lot of women would be put off shopping if they had to face their true waistline measurement every time. :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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I am a size FAT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Muscle building75767 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:48 AM Flag
[ - ] UB is hilarious. The same set of women who can't cook a meal from scratch to save their lives feel superior because they are home all day to raise dcs. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:35 AM Flag
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Agree. It's an anonymous board, so we can't be statistically sure that any posts are by the same people, but when you aggregate it, it does seem to be a large number of posters who have chosen to SAH with no experience whatsoever. The simplest household and childcare tasks confuse so many of the posters here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:40 AM Flag
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I see responses saying that housekeeping and cooking can not be handled by a childcare provider and require specialized skill set and then the same people turn out to be he with just one kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:44 AM Flag
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smh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:46 AM Flag
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YUM SEMEN [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:12 PM Flag
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The amount of people (women and men) that do not know how to boil water is SHOCKING. I see it all the time. Someone once asked me if they were supposed to put the pasta in first before the water. A grown woman who had been through college! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:47 AM Flag
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It's a product of the "let children have a childhood" trend. I have been (half-jokingly) called abusive because my kids get a new chore added to their list every birthday, from cleaning up their own toys as toddlers to taking over their own laundry in middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 11:59 AM Flag
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Yes, I told dc he'd need to know how to manage the entire household (except taxes) by 16, and that he will need to move out by 18 and get a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:05 PM Flag
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He should do his own tax returns in his teens, if he has any income. It's really easy to do the 1040-EZ, especially with you there to help him understand what the different fields mean, and then he won't freak out and think it's difficult when he gets his first full time job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:13 PM Flag
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Tying this to MPP ("this morning's conversation") -- if you complain about your DH's lack of contribution at home, remember that when you are deciding when and how to teach DCs to cook, clean, and babysit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:01 PM Flag
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totally. I actually think my 3 yo dd could do a better job cooking an egg than some of my friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:04 PM Flag
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+1 And teach DH at the same time! Spending a year slogging through teaching him what needs to be done, pays off for the following 30 years of him doing his share. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:20 PM Flag
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My older brother used to cook dinner for me when our parents went out by the time he was 14. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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I think they feel it is beneath them or something. Or they REALLY REALLY like takeout. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:07 PM Flag
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I really really like takeout and going out. But DH and I force ourselves to cook more often than we would like, so DDs learn to shop, prep, cook, clean up. They may choose never to cook again after they move out, but it will be a choice, not an inability. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:15 PM Flag
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What post are you referring to! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:10 PM Flag
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^^? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:11 PM Flag
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There are so many things NYC caters to that promotes less independence. Tons of great take out places at all hours, so why cook? Public transportation everywhere, so why learn how to drive? High prevalence of nannies and housekeepers to keep from wasting time on those activities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:14 PM Flag
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Honestly, that's one of the reasons we left. It was a very small reason, way down the list, but we wanted DCs to be self-reliant (so they could have the same fun we had when we moved to NYC after college and took advantage of all of the things NYC caters to!). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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This. And I realize that cars are a money drain, bad for the environment, etc., but I do think adults should know how to drive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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Yes, sometimes it is necessary to leave the center of the universe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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Also at a certain age you shouldn't have to ask other people to drive you around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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+1 that age is 16. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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They don't have Home Economics anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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+1, frankly I think perhaps we should. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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+2 basic life skills [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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Interesting. I don't know anybody who does not cook from scratch (NYC). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 12:51 PM Flag
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