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[ - ] What's the best way to protest? I'm getting paint and making signs. I'm going to picet in from of a congressional building. Am I allowed to take a cone horn to shout? Am I allowed to camp out on the lawn? I'm making flyers to pass out and raise awareness to passerby's. Am I allowed to burn the US flag or is that too much? I want to improve America. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Burning the flag is legal, but there's a subset of people who take violent offense to it. Be careful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:31 PM Flag
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What's your issue you are protesting about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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None of that really sounds much like improving America. Unless your signs are great works of art. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone taken Diflucan for yeast infection? The warnings say do not drive it may make you dizzy. Was this true for you? Now I'm scared to take :/ 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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It didn't have any side effects for me. But it's a fast treatment so not driving for a day or two shouldn't hurt, just to be safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Could you be best friends with your DH after you discovered he had an affair and you divorced? When I discovered his affair, he said he wanted out of the marriage but still loved me and cared about me and liked my company and wanted to be "best friends" with me. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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No, I could not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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You need time and space. No. Not now. Give yourself space to find yourself again. I look back on old intense relationships where I was hurt really terribly and because I gave myself the space and the time to heal I find that I really don't care about them anymore and don't need them in my life. Think about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:21 PM Flag
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Yup. Cut off contact as much as possible and rid yourself of reminders of him. He is not your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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No because it would basically ruin my life as I know it,my boys would be devastated if he moved out. I worry about DH cheating because of how it would affect my boys. I know I would be fine. Wonder if that's normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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If you didn't want out, I can't see that working out. Its easy for him because he wanted out. Plus if the both of you got involved with other people, I'm sure they wouldn't approve of your relationship. So. ..not a good idea imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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Please be careful, he is likely just trying to reduce financial obligations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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No. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:25 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:26 PM Flag
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I may be the only person responding from a similar situation. My fiancé had an affair. Long story short he didn't want to throw away the history we had and the good in our relationship; he described me as the sister he never had. It took me a few years to speak to him again. We are best friends. That said, I am actively trying to rally a group of girl friends. I personally believe my best friend should be a married woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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Is he married now? Are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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Do you have kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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It happens a lot, actually. Maybe not "best friends" but there comes a time when many men calm down from their crazy period and become nice people again. Frank Sinatra always said his 1st wife Barbara was his best friend. People move on. It just takes time, doesn't happen overnight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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My dh left me after an affair with a very young woman a year ago. He also wants to be close and share holidays, etc. I hate him so much right now but hope we can be more cordial in the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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Fuck him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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Don't disparage him to your children but he was a prick to you. You owe him nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] What did you have to eat so far today? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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Two string cheeses, a handful of blackberries and a cup of coffee. Currently drinking a La Croix. We are ordering pizza for lunch at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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I effing love La Croix! What flavor!? Coconut is my favorite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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I love the coconut with a little splash of OJ. That was my go-to pregnancy drink because it tastes like Malibu rum. LOL. Currently enjoying a Pamplemousse, but I saw some Mangos in the back of the fridge that have name on them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:25 PM Flag
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English muffin and a pot of coffee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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McDonald's breakfast and whole wheat pancakes.I'm embarrassed , but this is called stress eating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:23 PM Flag
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Op: don't be. It's one of my guilty pleasures.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:25 PM Flag
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+1 - we are driving to Maine on Saturday morning and DH and I are already excited for our Egg McMuffins at the Connecticut rest stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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Lol haha love the sausage and egg mcmuffin. Enjoy :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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Thanks! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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3 breakfast chicken sausages, 2 eggs, organic popcorn, water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:23 PM Flag
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Half bagel. Coffee with creamer. People in the office are sneaking it but I can't figure out who. Grr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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watermelon around 5 am. again around 7 am. a celery stick. I'm on west coast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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Are you on a diet? I'd be starving! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Ham & Cheese hot pocket, sesame bagel with peanut butter, some pad thai noodles, diet coke, lemonade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Coffee. Apple. Garlic bread and cheese. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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A banana and a half decaf cappuccino with a little coconut oil in it. Getting pho for lunch today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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Three mini vodkas. I'm an alcoholic, plain and simple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:34 PM Flag
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banana, iced coffee, a salt water taffy, and now chicken soup for lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:35 PM Flag
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One almond croissant and one plain croissant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Let's do the handbag post again. Describe the person who wears: 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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Longchamps [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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Normal person, probably carries work stuff in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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Coach bag given to her by clueless but loving husband. Wife wears it often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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Coach is actually on the upswing. It's taken years to rebuild their brand after the disaster that was Reed Krakoff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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I actually want someone to find me a new handbag! I'm 51, single (and therefore harried) mom to elementary school kid. More bohemian UWS (aka too frumpy for my own good) than UES put together. Professional but work in casual setting. Need a whole new look - suggest a bag please! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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Furla? Sometimes you can find a gem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:23 PM Flag
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If you want practical and inexpensive I recommend fossil. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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Seriously. I love my Fossil bags, and I don't feel like dying when my two year old spills stuff on them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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This may not be your kind of look, but I've fallen in love with the baggallini brand. I'm sure people here will hate it, but I just love pockets pockets pockets. It makes me feel organized. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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Goyard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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A sheep who enjoys wasting money on a plastic pocketbook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:26 PM Flag
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Let's not and say we did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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This. It's getting old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:31 PM Flag
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Ferragamo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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Bally [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] What's for dinner? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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Flying tonight so probably the Tapas snack box that they have available on United. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:10 PM Flag
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^clearly I'm living the high life, don't be jealous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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What airport are you flying out of? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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Austin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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I got nothing. :) But, maybe someone knows of something great sold at the Austin airport. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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They have tons of good stuff here, but my flight is at 4:00 so it's kind of an awkward time for dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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what about grabbing take away? I like to get the BBQ turkey, no sauce. Just meat. The sauce spills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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It will stink up the plane. I made that mistake once, years ago, and will never do it again. People give you looks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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NP Get a sausage wrap at the salt lick and just own it. You know they are just drooling anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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or get there early and get nachos at Maudies and eat them before you fly. I haven't done this because I always do the Salt Lick line and get the frozen brisket to bring home with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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Oh Maudie's nachos - now you are talking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
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Ha that's true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:34 PM Flag
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IA. I think something like Jimmy Johns is fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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^it's heaven, takes 5 minutes to get through security. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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Chicken veggie stir fry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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Nuggets. We have red eye flight tonight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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Leftovers....sweet and spicy lean pork meatballs with mushroom, snap pea stir fry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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Ambien [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:23 PM Flag
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is that prescription? We have a long international flight next month and we need something stronger than Dramamine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Yes. But people can do weird things on it if you stay awake. I would get Xanax instead for a flight. You never know if your plane gets delayed, rerouted etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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Smashed hamburgers, salad, and watermelon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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what are smashed hamburgers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Human garbage disposal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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When a fat Samoan fast food worker sits on your burger [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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Pasta w/ pesto, tomatoes from garden. Our yard is an overgrown jungle, and we have black thumbs, but somehow have two overflowing pots of tomatoes and basil. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:31 PM Flag
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Penne pasta with sausage, spinach, oven dried tomatoes and pine nuts. A bone dry Lambrusco for DH, mint cucumber water for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] My mom died almost a year ago, but when I go to the doctor and they ask me if anything has changed, I keep her as my emergency contact. Strange, I know. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:01 PM Flag
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i'm so sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:05 PM Flag
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Not strange. There is a weird finality feeling when you change forms like that. I understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:07 PM Flag
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Sorry about your mom. I understand that little things like that can feel like you're cutting them off, but you should give some thought to updating the emergency contact. Without that change, you're putting yourself at risk. Plus, if she died of something that you could be at risk of inheriting (cancer, complications from diabetes, etc.), you need to get that into your medical record. Best wishes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:08 PM Flag
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My mom also died almost a year ago. I still have her as a contact in my phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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np: my best friend died in April and I have a voicemail message from him that I still play all the time. Pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:13 PM Flag
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Can I ask how he died? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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Pancreatic cancer. He was gone in 2 months from diagnosis. I'm still so torn apart from it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:25 PM Flag
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I lost my best friend to stomach cancer in November 2014. I don't think I'll ever get over it. :HUGS: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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Hugs to you, it's so hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:34 PM Flag
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I have 3 in my contacts. I will never delete them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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Took me a couple of months to even want to bring it up in any situation where people didn't know ahead of time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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My dad died 4 years ago and when I go home, my mom gives me his cell phone to use (my US phone doesn't work there). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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Sorry op. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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awww. sending you hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry, I dont think it's strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:24 PM Flag
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It's not. Paperless post still sends our invites to my fil and I can't bring myself to change it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the easiest job you can think of? A legitimate job that someone would pay you for, but which seems incredibly easy. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:58 PM Flag
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I think hand or foot model. How hard is it to show off your hand or foot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:59 PM Flag
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I saw a special about one and she could not do anything because if she broke a nail, she had to cancel jobs. She couldn't even change her baby's diaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:35 PM Flag
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she had crazy beautiful hands though. They looked boneless and veinless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
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backround on a film or TV [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
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you make so little money per hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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Poet Laureate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:02 PM Flag
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I had the easiest temp job ever a couple years ago. It was 9 months, from 9-4, with unlimited flexibility and time off, as a legal assistant. The general counsel wanted me there in the event he needed me for something, which was about 3 hours/week. He also liked having a Starbucks every day, but felt bad sending me on his behalf unless I bought something too (he'd give me money to buy it). I read so many books. It was fabulous. $24/hr in Virginia, so more than covered childcare (one dc at the time), cleaning lady, and still left me with extra. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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That sounds like heaven. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:04 PM Flag
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Is he hiring? :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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No, it was a bank that was being bought by another bank, so winding up its business. My boss already had another general counsel job lined up for after, so he didn't give a damn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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Ditto on the temp gig. I did it for a short while also. I had crazy, dumb requirements and I was still booked/requested all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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How much did you pay for child care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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about $800/month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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Lifegaurd at a pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:10 PM Flag
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Not incredibly easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:11 PM Flag
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I did this before. It's exhausting. The heat is awful and I worked 80 hours a week in college because I needed the money that bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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pp: yep and if there are kids in the pool, forget it. It's honestly so stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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it really is. i worked alone and would have to rush to go pee. terrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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^^^I swam in college, and part of my "scholarship" package was a work study as a lifeguard at the campus pool, which was also open to the public. I used to HATE when little kids would come in, you can't look away for a second. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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Nanny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:18 PM Flag
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School psychologist in an upscale district [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:26 PM Flag
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My mom had something similar. Now she is a consultant for various Westchester school districts, does 90% of her work remotely (she moved to flyover to be near us), and is in high demand by families and schools. She gets a lot of emotional gratification, but completely flexible schedule, no summer/school break obligations, opportunity for part time, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Working with wealthy parents is not at all easy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] My best friend has lost about 30 lbs over three years. She works out often but she's quite short and stocky so she doesn't necessarily scream fitness model though she's in decent shape. She's so proud of the weight loss/her "fitness journey" that she decided to leave her cushy PR job (180K, normal hours, tons of flexibility...only had to come into the office once a week...was able to take her kids to/from work everyday, lots of nice company perks/constant free stuff/prestige with her position) to be a manager of her local yoga studio in Queens. She is certified to teach cycling/barre but not yoga. HUGE pay cut, now she is working odd hours, now needs a nanny. Thoughts? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:52 PM Flag
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She needs some new friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:53 PM Flag
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This!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:58 PM Flag
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Totally agree you bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
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MYOB would be my thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:53 PM Flag
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If she's happy and it works for her, I don't care. Probably wouldn't care so much anyway. I don't know her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:54 PM Flag
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Agreed...if she's happy oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:57 PM Flag
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Not everyone is in it for the money. If she's happy working there though she earns less $ who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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Good for her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:56 PM Flag
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I'd hate to be your second best friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:59 PM Flag
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Maybe she hated her old job and loves her new one. What's it to you? on paper of course it's a dumb decision, but I'm not living in her shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
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Jealous is an ugly dress to wear any day of the week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:01 PM Flag
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You don't sound like her best friend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:02 PM Flag
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Maybe she is going to get certified there and teach. Maybe she wants to open her own fitness studio and she's trying to get experience/exposure to potential clients. You sound like a bad friend TBH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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Good for her. I wish I could find my joy/passion soon that I could turn into a job too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:11 PM Flag
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This. I got certified for yoga and it's damn hard to make a career out of it. You make NO money. So my hat is off to anyone who can succeed at it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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I also got certified to teach yoga. No money. None. Couldn't even cover the cost to operate eg just commuting to teach A class. Forget running own studio. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:31 PM Flag
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PP: so glad someone else on here has had this experience. This teacher training is such a pyramid scheme! I just feel bad for people who really think they are going to have a career doing this! I have a 'day job' and really just took the training for my own practice, and maybe teach a few classes for fun. It's hard to even get in anywhere to teach! Crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:35 PM Flag
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WOW. What is wrong with you, OP? Are you depressed? Do you suffer from mental illness? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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You could ask her what her big picture is. Maybe she doesn't need the money eg trust fund baby? Maybe she doesn't want to be around her home life? I agree with you that is not a brillant move, but that's also just using the data you gave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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Money isn't everything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] My husband doesn't work. Basically opted out 5 years ago when lost his job. After I put him through graduate school. I've gone through many different periods of dealing with this... anger, trying to help, acceptance, frustration. Survived by being able top put my anger in a box and pack it away most days, choose not to focus on. But it sneaks out, today is one of those days. Can we discuss? Simple answer is kick him out. But that means giving 1/2 our (my) assets, paying alimony, having my kids only 50% of the time. 65 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:50 PM Flag
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Why doesn't he want to work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:51 PM Flag
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OP - Good question. In theory wants to, or says he does, in reality anxiety and lack of confidence to network/apply/hustle gets in his way. Or laziness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:58 PM Flag
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np: maybe you are enabling him. (NOT that I'm blaming you -- just saying he may need to move out to get some motivation). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:01 PM Flag
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Not arguing. I just wonder if truly the case. He'd be able to exist for a long time on 1/2 our assets and if I have to pay alimony. Then I left with that burden, having to split the kids' time, etc. Fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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So r ry. This is tough. Someone else below asked if he does typical SAHP duties. Does he? And other than him not having a job, how is he as a husband? And have you both really talked this through? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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See answer below. Fine otherwise, I suppose. But this has jaded my whole view. Yes tried to talk it through many times over the years, but it's like talking to a wall anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:05 PM Flag
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Wow. You will definitely get bitter as time goes on especially since he kind of just forced it on you and you've had to just deal with it. You know what you want for yourself and for your family. He sounds like he doesn't. I'd suggest you start making some clear demands and lay some expectations on him. If you give him the option to stay home, he has to do everything a SAHM would do, CONSISTENTLY. If he has to work, he needs to find a job in x amount of time. If he's not willing to act on these things then seek counseling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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I'm one of the posters below and I did everything you said, including counseling, and gave an ultimatum. Still didn't really change things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:18 PM Flag
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Yes, me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:23 PM Flag
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Sorry what did you end up doing in the end? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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Not at the end yet, but en route to a divorce. Have a pre-nup which I am hoping will be enforced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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Sorry. What did you end up doing in the end? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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I was you. I had the same awful choices. I waited til kids were older so at least I wouldn't have to pay him CS too. Doesn't he notice or care that you can't afford things or you're working so hard you don't want to have sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:52 PM Flag
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Yes on the latter. We can "afford" most of what we want, I do ok from having put in many years and hard work in my profession... but could save so much more had he not chosen this path (or lack of path). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:56 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. It really sucks. But the longer you allow it, the worse it will be for you if you end up leaving him. At least he does some housework. Mine didn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:07 PM Flag
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Does he at least do the work of a SAHP? Does he manage the household, clean, cook, shop, do school pick-up, etc? If not, then he is just a parasite and you need to kick him out. If yes, then I see no difference between him and a typical SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:53 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:54 PM Flag
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OP - Yes he does, or maybe like 50-75% of what a SAHM would do. I still organize/plan everything, have to otherwise our lives would be a mess. My issue is he forced this on me. Before he gave up, he could well out earn the cost of childcare. And I have some flexibility, so it's not like kids wouldn't see their parents if he worked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:59 PM Flag
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You don't "have to", you chose to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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My kids would have no activities, no clothes that fit, my house would be a mess if I did not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:10 PM Flag
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np: Everyone says that but some things have to be done like kid has to go to doctor or dentist, shoes when they ourgrow them, pack lunch if school does not provide, order uniforms at uniform school. I let the house go but do you want your kids teeth falling out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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Most of the time it's not a matter of the DH being "unable" to do things, it's that he doesn't do them to the DW's satisfaction, or that the mother doesn't want to give up 100% of the childcare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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^^^and the doctor/dentist example is stupid, because those are things that need to be done a couple times a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:20 PM Flag
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NP here: My "SAHP" DH who does 50-75% of the parenting wouldn't organize a single playdate if it were up to him. He pciks up DD from school at 3:20 and brings her home and has her play by herself in her room while he "makes dinner" for two hours (the effort doesn't show, BTW). No playdates with friends, no enrichment activities, no help with HW. So I don't think that DH is "unable" to do things, but he certainly isn't doing things to a standard that is acceptable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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SAHD will never be the same as SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
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So sorry. My mom was in your position. Father had a law degree but refused to work. She waited until my sister was in college to divorce him. Still had to pay alimony. You cannot make someone work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:55 PM Flag
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What you can do is give him basically no access to the money. She gave my dad lunch money basically and that was it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:01 PM Flag
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How is that possible legally if he files for divorce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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How can you do that when they are joint assets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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God, the double standards here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:07 PM Flag
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Did she have to give him 1/2 or a big chunk of the assets too? Do you think she regrets the wasted years, being older when back on the market? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:04 PM Flag
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He will only get temporary alimony. Cut your losses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:56 PM Flag
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Sorry. How old are the children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:58 PM Flag
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Young. 4 and 7. And yes I had the 2nd one when already in this situation. But wanted 2 and already had the 1st. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
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Agree with having 2, of course! Well they are still young. Give him one year, to find a job before the little one starts kindergarden [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:08 PM Flag
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Credit card DW here: My kids are 4 and almost 7. I wish I knew you. As soon as I decide to get a divorce, I am going to lift this veil of shame off myself of letting this go on for so long and start a support group for women like us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:31 PM Flag
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Tell him you want a post-nup if he wants to stay home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:01 PM Flag
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Thought about that, but it costs alot to have drafted and was told by a lawyer he couldn't guarantee it would hold up in court down the line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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I would get a second opinion on that. The cost of a post-nup may be negligible compared to half your assets or half your retirement. You could get him an attorney for the negotiation and that will substantially increase its enforceability. You need to have a bargaining chip to get him to negotiate and sign one now, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:37 PM Flag
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How long have you been married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:02 PM Flag
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10+ years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:10 PM Flag
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Wow - I am you. Down to the same periods of dealing with it and the 50-75% of the SAHP. Everything. I just found out this week that he accumulated $13k in credit card debt that he has been ignoring for months now (and there are hundreds in interests and fees/penalties accruing ever month). He took out the CC in his own name a year ago when he said that he was on the cusp of getting a job and I said I was done paying for his luxuries. Now I feel deeper in the hole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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What is it with these men? It's one thing for a couple to decide together that one parent will stay home, but (a) it has to be mutual (or unavoidable), and (b) the SAHD has to pull his weight. This is not okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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You think this doesn't happen to men all the time with their SAHWs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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Does it? So a SAHW, who is SAH other than by mutual agreement of the DW and DH, will just run around and spend thousands with no plan or ability to pay it back and then ignore the bills for months? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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No, I think most SAHMs work very hard taking care of their households and kids, if they're not rich. (If the OP were rich, this wouldn't be an issue -- just outsource). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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CC DW here: Because my DH was "looking for work" as a full-time endeavor, my kids (4 and 6) have always, since birth, had a full time nanny or full-time day care. So on top of the luxuries I was providing, I was also paying for full time child care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:36 PM Flag
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OP - So sorry. That might be the breaking point for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:16 PM Flag
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NP here: the credit card thing started when I said that we couldn't go on this fancy vacation we had tentatively planned for August 2015 because I was at the same time buying a new apartment for our family and was worried about cash flow. I said I would pay for half the vacation if he would commit to get a job and pay for the other half. So he put it on his credit card and hasn't paid for a dime of it since. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:19 PM Flag
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Tell him to teach. He cannot get out of this. Do not let him not work forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:04 PM Flag
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OP - I suppose in my mind I am waiting until youngest is in K. If no progress at that point, I'll have a decision to make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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What did he do before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:04 PM Flag
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I'm in a similar situation to OP, only DH started staying home by mutual agreement but it was only supposed to last for 5 - 6 years and we're on year 13. He does do most of the work of SAHP but that work has gone down tremendously as DCs got older and DH still won't even look for a job. I've lost so much respect for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:06 PM Flag
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OP - why haven't you left? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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Mostly the same reasons that you stated, OP, but also he's a good dad and I keep thinking that he'll turn things around on the work front. He's quite smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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It is very VERY difficult, especially for a man, to find work after being gone with kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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But he doesn't even look or apply for jobs! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Can you help him check indeed, and make sure his resume looks good? What industry? He is probably overwhelmed thinking about it. I've been home for years and need to go back. Just applied for the first job yesterday and I couldn't sleep last night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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NP here with the DH's CC debt: What is so interesting to me is that I had no exposure to the idea that there were people who just "would not work". Being a hard worker and coming from a family of hard workers, the idea that a man would just "not work" was just not something I was aware could even happen - here I am now 7 years later... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:21 PM Flag
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OP - Wow we are the same. Me too. Never ever would have thought. I guess that was naive, there are probably plenty. But I thought I was picking a well-educated, seemingly motivated (had other areas of life in past that required a competitive spirit) individual driven for success. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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You are still young and I would leave. Doesn't the court factor in that he could work for some amount of money? It will only get worse if you wait as joint assets are larger, he loses ability to get any decent job and your career gets better. He is young and you can't support him forever as you will be too resentful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:21 PM Flag
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I feel like I am way past that point already :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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put him on a strict budget. no extras. give him his own bedroom. consider taking time off from your job so that you won't have to pay him child support and alimony. I understand what you've been going through perfectly. He is a user and you are supporting him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] THIS is why Trump is getting so much support in the US. I am all for immigration, but do your homework! If U.S. government officials aren't allowed to look at online postings of immigrants because of "privacy" issues, how are we ever going correctly assess all the immigrants coming in?? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:44 PM Flag
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Most of his supporters probably have no idea what any of that even means. And they don't like homework. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:49 PM Flag
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He doesn't really have "so much support" any more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:52 PM Flag
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+1 it is obvious now from twitter that even a good percentage of his rallies are just people road tripping for the spectacle, just to say they've been to one. They attend and then post photos ragging on him and other people attending for being half wits and apes. They don't actually support him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:59 PM Flag
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Not to mention the people who go just to protest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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I know. I'm finally relaxing about the election. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:03 PM Flag
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In what world (besides the conservative blogosphere) is immigration such a dire issue? It seems to be under control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:08 PM Flag
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It's no more of a problem than it has ever been. The underlying truth is that undocumented workers make up a very necessary part of our economy. The only increases in national violent crime rates are in inner cities, and usually involve native-born Americans. I'm not even sure Trump believes what he says, since he is also a major employer of foreign workers and has admitted he can't get Americans do to those jobs. He just needs to appeal to that core of disenfranchised republicans. That's why it's funny that he is now saying Hillary Clinton is a bigot who does nothing for blacks or hispanics, while he's the only candidate who's going to help them. Um, someone tell him that is not your go-to line if you want to keep the votes of those voters ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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Thanks for your thoughtful answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:26 PM Flag
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Really? Obama is supposed to let thousands in and Hillary is like Merkle on this topic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] What are somethings you have discovered to save money? I'll start: Starbucks protein boxes for breakfast on vacation. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:40 PM Flag
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Bulk food items that are easily carried to prevent hunger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:44 PM Flag
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This...I buy nuts and dried fruits in bulk. Easy to carry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:46 PM Flag
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OR: yes. I find that if I am hungry or other families are hungry and we don't have something to tide us over, we randomly spend on things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:48 PM Flag
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^^family members, not "families" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:50 PM Flag
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Same. We are so guilty of this in my house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:52 PM Flag
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I've cut our grocery bill way down lately. My vacuum sealer was the best $50 investment - now I can buy bulk foods at Costco or stock up when Sprouts has a good deal and freeze what I can't use immediately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:47 PM Flag
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tell us more! how does this work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:54 PM Flag
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How is it better than just using freezer bags? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:04 PM Flag
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Watching this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:27 PM Flag
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There is no benefit to eating organic. Just buy whatever is cheaper. This blew my mind! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:09 PM Flag
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I don't think it's beneficial to eat pesticides. Also, there are ZERO benefits to eating berries that aren't organic. They have no antioxidents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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+ berries are full of pesticides if not organic. if eating berries, try to always eat organic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:28 PM Flag
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You're all kinds of wrong. Organic food is also sprayed with pesticides and non organic berries do have antioxidants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
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Why would non organic berries have no antioxidants? You lost me there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:32 PM Flag
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Good to know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:33 PM Flag
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I never go to Starbucks but would rather go to some bakery if on vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:15 PM Flag
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I like Starbucks protein boxes, but I can't justify the cost on an everyday basis. It makes sense on vacation, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:17 PM Flag
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With a side of listeria [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend a good chinese restaurant in midtown west/herald sq area? I am preg and really craving cold sesame noodles :) Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:38 PM Flag
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Congrats! I work in that area and have always liked the food at Main Noodle House on 6th Ave, btw 37th and 38th. Quick delivery, good food, fresh, inexpensive, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:42 PM Flag
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Thanks! this sounds right up my alley :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:42 PM Flag
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At least when I've ordered from there, the food wasn't overly salty. Can't stand most Chinese takeout joints because of the insane amount of sodium, but I liked this place a lot. Enjoy and feel well :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Selling maternity clothes on eBay. Should I sell all jeans, dresses etc together in "lots" of the same size? Or each piece individually? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:32 PM Flag
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decision fatigue is real. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:34 PM Flag
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I would imagine she's wondering which is the best way to get the most money. Doesn't seem like a weird question. I would wonder the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:35 PM Flag
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we sold as one lot on craigs list. gone in a day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:36 PM Flag
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what city? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:02 PM Flag
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Sell as a lot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:37 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:08 PM Flag
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I sold my entire wardrobe as one. First person who came bought it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Any tips for starting pre-K? DS was in a half day 3s program and did fine with the separation, but I'm worried about such a long day 8-2:30 when he still takes a solid 2hr nap! Any experiences to share? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:31 PM Flag
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you need a new kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:31 PM Flag
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Does public pre-k phase in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:33 PM Flag
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I think there is a 2 day phase in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:44 PM Flag
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PK kids are required to have naptime in the classroom, no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:36 PM Flag
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Put them to bed at 630 pm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:38 PM Flag
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Just be ready for a tired and cranky September. This too shall pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 04:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Is your DH physically and verbally affectionate? How does he show it? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:28 PM Flag
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by deep-throating me until I can no longer breathe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.16, 03:30 PM Flag
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