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[ - ] Question for divorced and/or lawyer moms: my controlling, abusive ex-DH is mandated by the court to pay a certain amount each month for child care costs. Nowhere in the judgement of divorce did it mandate me to provide receipts. I WOHM full time and use both a daycare (for youngest) and a sitter (for oldest), so the hours/costs are pretty clear and undeniable. Ex-DH chose to move an hour away and never provides child care apart from basic visitation, which he frequently cancels. Soon after the divorce, he refused to pay for childcare when I did not provide receipts. We went back to court, where he was told to pay the amount mandated each month and I was told to provide receipts. So now I give him the hours of the sitter each week, showing the number of hours worked per day... and now he is demanding that I must have her sign in and sign out, showing her start and finish times each day. I hate to have to go back to court but this is a slippery slope and he will continue to push for more control. It has nothing to do with his concern for the kids (he is basically absent in their lives). It is all about keeping tabs on me and possibly he is hoping that I am somehow trying to cheat him, which is a joke since my income is much higher than his. Sorry for the long explanation, but should I take him back to court? If I do, will the judge agree with him that my child care receipts must show this level of detail? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] I've been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.I've given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it's just embarassing. I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice. If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing. I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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And how do you look after 2 humans grew inside of you? Oh, wait. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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Well, I'm 285lbs, I would love to be 185!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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Don't wait for the kids to turn 18 and get out of the house. Get the divorce now. The stress from living with the shrew will take a toll on your health while waiting on the kids to turn 18. By the time they do, you may have a lousy quality of life due to poor health or dead from a heart attack. And in the meantime your kids will have to endure what is sure to be an ever escalating level of anger and depression from both you and your slob of a wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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HI, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Maybe she's depressed. You don't sound like a very supportive, kind person to share a life with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Maybe she's depressed. Has she ever been a physical person? FYI, I'm 178 and I work out 4x a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Bill, is that you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Been there, done that. I'm glad I did. Get rid of the lazy, fat woman. Things will only get much, much, much worse in the future. I know all about it. The only solution is to get away from her forever. It's a tough pill to swallow at first, but it has to be done. It will only tear you apart in the long run. You will be glad you did, but not right away. It takes time, but you will get on with your life. Good luck to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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A human being is so much more than their body fat percentage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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Too bad. I've had 4 kids, and I have a smoking hot body. Some people are just sloths. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Cancel cable or dish. That should limit her TV watching. Take over the grocery shopping and buy only healthy foods, it may not lose the weight but at least some healthy eating habits may develop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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My wife has really gotten fat. I mean she does the same workout and she rides a recumbent bike and watches TV four times a week. She does the same thing. On weekends, after she is done she starts a feeding frenzy. This is really causing a problem. I have always been turned off by fat girls and now my wife is one. She always says she is going to start a diet but never does. I walked by the bathroom this week and she was talking to me and had a towell just around her waist. It was disgusting - I couldn't look at her so I told her I was late. It was pretty gross. Today she was like trying to get my attention by lifting her shirt a little - she is just too fat. I know when we took our vows I promised for better or worse but I don't know what to do. I feel kind of guilty feeling this way. We have been married like 15 years and I put on a couple of pounds but nothing like her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Did you ever get harassed by a superior at work? What happened? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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No. I would have reported that shit immediately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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I like you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 AM Flag
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depending on the industry, that can often backfire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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OR: I don't care. I don't put up with that. Fire me if you must. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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Of course. I handled it and didn't complain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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What happened? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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Of course? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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yes of course, this stuff happens, it's happened for years, it will always happen. It's better for your career to figure out a way to deal with it. Once you complain to HR guess whose ass is kicked to the curb? Your powerful male boss who has all the friends and connections? or your sweet little young and expendable ass? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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I would like to know what actually happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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Yes. In at last 4 different jobs that I can think of off at the top of my head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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What kind of harassment was it? What did the boss do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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yes, i think he tried to get me fired, then i told the people above him that i just wanted to be in a different division and away from him, and they made it happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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yes, i ended up quitting. it was a small start up, no HR in place. The guy looked like he had a picture perfect family from Orange County, but was creepy. locked me in a room with him once without my knowledge. I was saved by our neighboring warehouse lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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Is it harassment if a boss asks you out? Touches your knee? Where does it start? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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My supervisors are all women, so no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] There's a supermarket chain in Belgium called "Delhaize." What's weird is that there was a series of very violent unsolved robberies in those stores in the 80's, leaving about 16 people dead, and people still joke about that. "I'm going to Delhaize." "Make sure to put your will on the kitchen table where we can find it!" Belgians are kind of goofy like that, in terms of jokes. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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My DH is Belgian, and he knows exactly what you're talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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haha i guess you had to be there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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My DH is Belgian. He says that company also owns Food Lion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 AM Flag
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was there a food lion shooting that made this comment worth making? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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NP. So off topic - what does that have to do with anything, and what is food lion anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I recently found out my wife is involved in an emotional affair. She says she is in love with him, that she never loved me, and that she feels no passion in our marriage. I still love my wife and want this marriage to work. Is there any hope for us? We have three young children and I am devastated. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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Let your wife know you want to work on the marriage, but she must choose. You love her and are willing to stand by her, but she must choose between her marriage and this other man. If she chooses him, then allow her to leave rather than you leaving. This is her idea, not yours, so she is choosing to leave the home and her children. Allow a period of separation, but let her know you do not want a divorce. State this lovingly and without harshness. Don’t plead and beg. Use this as an opportunity to be the kind of leader God intends, as difficult as this is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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Wow. I can't believe people have some sort of plan all laid out. What made you the authority to tell OP what to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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He asked a question and I am giving him some advice. stfu! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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Michelle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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How did she meet him? How did you find out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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what does she feel is lacking emotionally from your marriage that she is seeking it elsewhere? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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tell her she will ruin her children for life. to step back and think about it before she makes a mistake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] We are taking a family trip to NYC over Easter weekend and will attend church. Here in the south our girls wear Lilly dresses on Easter. Will that fly in NYC? They are 15 and 17. Thanks! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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It's NYC, everyone wears whatever the heck they want. I'm sure your Dd's will look lovely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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...it might be chilly still though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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it will be too cold for that in nyc in early april [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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Which church? LP is pretty hokey, IMO, but if it's a catholic church, it may be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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np: what does that mean?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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That's fine, bring a sweater or jacket because it will still be chilly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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Make great Easter bonnets and go to the Easter stroll. Lots of fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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it might be too cold. if they have a pastel wool dress that would work. i wear lilly sometimes but they will definitely need a cardigan and probably a coat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] How do you go about finding a grief counsellor? Are they specific types of therapists? Does insurance ever cover? Thanks in advance. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Insurance will cover if it is depression. Hint, hint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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Thanks for this advice. So i would have to call with depression? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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I had a friend go to a grief counselor for the loss of her father and I swear it made her worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 AM Flag
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Ack, that sounds awful. This is more to work out the feelings of guilt and helplessness as well as nightmares. Id love for those to stop. I don't know if going for a specific reason is better or worse but I would hope it would make it better! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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I tried grief counseling too and it was not helpful. That being said, I think it's just about "clicking" with the therapist. I probably should have tried someone else or been more proactive about how depressed I became. Regardless, OP, yeah, frame it as depression with your insurance company and you may be able to get it covered (even if partially). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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Mil got it thru hospice care [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
[ - ] We have been married four years and recently had a daughter. Since being pregnant I have stopped working and now Im a SAHM. If it was not for me our daughter would be naked because hates going shopping always gets in a bad mood. The only time he puts money on my account is if he is working long distance for a few days. I have to ask for every thing I need even a stick of deodrant. If he gives me mon he wants the change and the receipt. I am so tired and feeling less of myself because of this...what to do? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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You don't have the same bank account...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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No :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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I would have NEVER agreed to that. Why in the world... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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And THIS is why you should have stayed at work, and why I'd never be a SAHM. Are you a child? He's basically giving you an allowance. Fuck that noise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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I am looking for a job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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Yeah, I'd get on that, STAT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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np: i sah and control the finances. dh doesn't see any bills, mine or his! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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1. Get a job and leave 2. Leave and hope you can get a job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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I'm thinking job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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I am looking for a job as we speak. This has been a nightmare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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i sah and people probably think the way dh and i handle the funds is insane, but this is just insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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How do you handle finances? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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he gives me a lump sum every year and asks me to try to stay within the budget of what he gives me. doesn't ask what i spend it on, i don't have to tell him if i wrote a check. i have my own credit card. others will say it's an allowance. i think it's nice to not have to answer for things i buy. he pays for everything like mortgage, groceries, anything related to house and major kid bills like camp or sports lessons, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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I could never be married to someone (or even live with myself knowing) who "gave me money" like that. Do you not have any sense of self worth? You're basically a teenager. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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it doesn't bother me. i don't know. maybe i'm weird. it's a nice chunk and it's basically money if i want to meet my friends for lunch, get a massage, buy kids birthday presents when they go to parties, etc. if i ever need more i know i could get it, but i don't really need more. i charge things like groceries, gas, etc to him. but this is what i was saying, people think it's crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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Listen to yourself! "I charge it TO HIM"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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or: LOL. loving this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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Wow, I could never live like that. I like knowing I'm not just getting an allowance from the guy I married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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NP: I slave and make 1/2 of HHI and I bet I don't have a fraction of $$ the or has to just spend on whatever and I am always working. Her arrangement sounds good to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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or: yes, he "gives" me 50k a year, plus use of credit cards for household/groceries/gas and all else paid for. works for me. call it what you want, but dh is on a budget too. he does this mostly for record keeping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Having her HHI without the daddy/husband doling out her share would be better, no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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"I think it's nice to not have to answer for things I buy." Do you live in Iran? Jesus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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So you're superior to the OP because you get a bigger allowance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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Seriously! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Wow. So you basically get $$ while all else is paid for [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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listen, i said people think it's insane but it works for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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I think it's awesome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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It's gross, not insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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I don't understand - this is on top of things like mortgage, camp, etc.? Just for your spending money? As long as the amount is reasonable, I think this is ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Step 1: Job. Step 2: Divorce attorney. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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How old is your baby? How do you buy groceries or does he buy everything? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 AM Flag
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If you are going to be a sahm, you need equal access to the money. My husband never questions what I spend and I take what I need. I only discuss what I'm buying if it's a big purchase. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] What did you eat today? I'll list mine in the comments. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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Butt hole [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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I just ate a supersized chocolate bar after not eating much all day. Disgusted with myself. Am definitely pig. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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^^ and 4 eggs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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poop [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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cock [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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Oatmeal and juice, an apple/brie/pancetta panini with lobster bisque, pot roast with a peach and white wine reduction with asparagus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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B: Banana, cottage cheese L: Soup S: apple, cheese D: hamburger no bun, broccoli, sweet potato. Does this sound about right? Trying to lose weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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I am neither your Father Confessor nor your life coach. Live with your choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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^^^ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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breakfast: eggs and a single slice of bacon. Snack: honey fage yogurt. Lunch: Big salad with kale, carrots, chicken, quinoa, craisins, pecans. After work... uh... snacks and wine. Hey, it's friday! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Berry smoothie, latte, popcorn at movies, spinach salad w fried chicken, at least 12 oatmeal scotchies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Three crumbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I need some advice: Earlier today my husband got home and my stupid son told him I had a man over and my kids were both in the kitchen while we started arguing, he called me a whore, I told him about his other baby who he had with a 17 year old and how his family are pigs he then proceeded to slapping me in my face and he grabbed me by my arms and began shaking me all this happened in front of the kids i dont know what to do now because i am thinking of leaving him and taking my kids can he call the police if i do that 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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He abused you. Leave him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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op. I want to, but I am scared. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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Scared of what? He's going to hit you again if you stay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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op. I don't have family nearby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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I divorced my DH and had no family nearby either. Be a grown up and do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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Did you have a man over and what's the deal w the statutory rape baby mama? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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Op. Yes he did had a kid years back with a minor. He was 26 at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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eat his asssss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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who was the man and why does your son know? missing details here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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Op. A cousin, we have had an emotional affair for years, nothing sexual, he came to see me today, but we did nothing wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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Op. I am not a troll, I am seeking advice, I can't talk about this irl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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You want to bang your cuz?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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Op. It is a long story, but we haven't had sex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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Fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 AM Flag
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Sleep over it. You'll have clearer thoughts tomorrow morning. Obviously not in the same room as you husband. Apologize to your kids about the fight and be genuine and truthful about that. Let them know that you are human and made mistakes and you regret fighting in front of them. Kids are very resilient as long as you are honest with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] At what point in the hiring process do you need to disclose a pregnancy to potential employers? I will graduate with my PhD in May when I am 5 months pregnant. I have been in contact with individuals at a place that I would ideally like to work. The hiring process is lengthy, but they only do phone interviews, not in-person interviews. I don't want to be discriminated against for my pregnancy, but I also don't want to show up on the first day with a giant belly that no one has been told about. What's the protocol for this? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:36 AM Flag
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Show up with a big belly, of course UNLESS you are aware of time sensitive projects that you honestly believe will be ruined by your maternity leave absence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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OP: It won't be held against me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Np- oh it will, but such is the game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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only if a co worker has a fetish (tee hee). So what? People get peeved all the time when women have babies. This is the decision you made and it will be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
[ - ] Paramedic Mom here- haven't been on in a while, missed UB! How are all y'all? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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Cool, How much do you earn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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Not that much, I make around $30 an hour, the only way we make real $$ is stacking shifts and racking up double time. I work 1 24-hour shift and 1 12 hour shift per week. I like my schedule, though! I also teach ACLS, PALS, NALS and PHTLS on the side for extra $ and for fun because I love teaching. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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Wow, that's not that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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Yeah. Some systems pay well- if you can get into a system with a well-off municipality, those medics can make around 110k. But EMS is always second fiddle, budgetary-wise, to the fire department. The firemen get the big expensive shiny new toys while we take calls in ambos with 800k miles on them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 AM Flag
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what's it like being a paramedic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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You know, it's like all jobs... it has its great side, and it's stupid side. Mostly I love it, but sometimes the drug-seekers, abusive patients or the bureaucracy can wear you down. I was in finance before I became a paramedic and I was surprise to learn there are still plenty of inflated egos in EMS/medicine as there were on Wall Street! But mostly I love it! Every shift there is at least 1 call where you really feel like you helped someone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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I will add, I think teaching which I do a few times a month really helps buffer me against getting burnt out, because of the enthusiasm of the students (they're all so psyched to become EMTs/medics) and how the medicine is always evolving, learning new things, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Hey! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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hi :) How are you tonight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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Alright! I just watched this week's Scandal, and I'm dragging my tired body to bed. How about you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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Hope you get some rest! I'm a little worn out, but recouping chilling out with dh on the couch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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What's the craziest thing you've seen this week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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child abuse case- really sad. Dad is in Hells Angels, put his kid inside a sleeping bag, tied the sleeping bag up to a tree branch, beat the bag with the inside with a bat. Fucking horrible. We got the call as "child fell down stairs." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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Oh my god. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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Is the child permanently disabled or dead? I shouldn't ask actually because I can't stand the answers if they are yes. So horribly sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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omg so sick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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Yeah. It was the saddest thing. The child has a sister who OCS also took away, but it seems like the sister was spared all the abuse. Dad wanted to "toughen up" the son. Probably screwed up his development for life. All calls with kids hit you in the gut, but this one was especially tragic/draining. I really hope the child ends up okay, I'm going to try and keep in touch with his case manager and see how he is getting along. One drawback to working EMS is you don't always get to keep up with the long-term outcomes of the patients! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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You're a saint to do this job. Ty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm so bitter... 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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Me too... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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Why? What's wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Feel like nothing has gone right, have not gotten a break for over two years. Even before that, so much disappointment. See others succeeding and I'm jealous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 AM Flag
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aw. why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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Well, the first wealth is health, and my beautiful 3yo dd does not have it. It breaks my heart/enrages me/makes me feel out of control of everything. My eyes well up with tears writing this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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that doesn't sound like bitterness. More sadness, maybe anger, but bitter is different. I am so sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:23 AM Flag
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We tried for four years to get pregnant, the pregnancy was horrible, bedrest, etc..then 3 years later, we find out some devastating medical news...Im so jealous of families with normal kids, i see them at the store, and Im so sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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The kicker? I have a 3 mo who is at risk for the same medical condition...we found out dd's condition when my 2nd was less than a month old... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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I just want normal parent worries!! Like, my baby is not sleeping through the night, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry. You don't have to handle this well, just keep your head above water and try to surround yourself with loving support. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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This. Btdt. Find a support group. Good luck. It's ok to hate life sometimes but you have those kids to live for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 AM Flag
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nature has its reasons, that's what people don't understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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I wish i knew the reason. Im a very patient person, and thought id be a great parent. Lately. I dont feel that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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Wow, that is an awful thing to say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:36 AM Flag
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+1 - would an MD mom please point out that ways this isn't true? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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OR, i mean that your body was trying to expel that pregnancy because the fetus wasn't well. But, your doctors artificially kept the pregnancy going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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I think understood your hateful words, we just don't understand your purpose in saying them. Empathy should be higher on your priority list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 AM Flag
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hateful? i feel for OP of course. But in general human beings are going further and further off course with science trumping nature. Too many people on the planet. not sustainable. My grandfather is 95 and sits in a nursing home slumped in a chair, blind and deaf, and with alzheimers. Why didnt they just let him die when his heart stopped? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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So not necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 AM Flag
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How old were you when the baby was born? How old was your dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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33, 38 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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+1 - I think you have a right to be furious and scared. Most of us would feel this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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Me three [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Im bitter, jealous, angry... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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you are only hurting yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:21 AM Flag
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me too, i'm a hater. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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About what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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I've accepted things for what they are. Not ideal, but I'm comfortable with being unlikeable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 AM Flag
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How to you get to that place? Need to get there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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I'm not anything other than myself. If being me (while not malicious or damaging) displeases others, there is nothing I can do about it. So I focus on what makes me happy within that limitation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:36 AM Flag
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We had to sell off dh's stock options for a fraction of what they are worth now. I'm about to file bankruptcy. But I'm not bitter. I'm not being flip--just pointing it that it is a choice to stay bitter. I have two beautiful dc, a husband who loves me and breath in my lungs, which gives me the chance to do better. ALL of my friends are doing better than me financially. And I'm glad for them. Their financial success does not prevent me from someday achieving success of my own. I did not always feel this way. Two years ago I was suicidal. After counseling I see my life differently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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how did you get into such financial straits? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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Spending over our means coupled with being a SAHM for 9 years and the loss of my husband's side consulting job. TL:DR: we were financial children. And we're learning not to be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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What specifically did counseling help with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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Looking at my failures as opportunities. Even if they were simple opportunities at having compassion for others, my husband and myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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Also, I should add that I began to see myself more as having value beyond what I did or didn't do for others. I don't know that counseling did anything more than give me time to contemplate that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:35 AM Flag
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Join the club. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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OP, as a parent of 2 special needs kids, I totally get it. Don't be angry at yourself for a very valid feeling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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I was, but have now moved on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Immigrant mom here. At what age do girls start to wear singlets in the US? (If singlets is not the right word maybe you call them cammies? undershirts? wifebeaters?) I just don't see any at Carters or Gap, but maybe I'm looking in the wrong category. Also, what age are they supposed to dress themselves independently and bathe independently, so that adults don't see them naked except in swim locker room etc? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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Commonwealth: call them singlets too. Haven't heard in 20 yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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OP: Yes, commonwealth :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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tank tops - undershirts - camisoles - my kids were 3/4 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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Thanks! And I guess most American-born girls do not wear tank tops daily for modesty? Will my DD (4yo) stand out in school if she starts wearing them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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They don't wear them hear. We bring them from our home country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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UniQlo sells then as well as H and M and also GAP - tank tops- in cotton- my dd wears everyday and have been since 2 years old- camisole/underwear for girls [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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I like the Carters ones. Started wearing them at 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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Zara also has them starting in size 2-3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Op of break up email. I wrote my response and sent it, just to be done with it. Didn't want to have to think about it more tomorrow. I am somewhat sad because for the past 6 months I have been far too busy for my own good. This weekend was the first time I could have spent a full day with my ex, and now I am spending it alone. I always had to wake up so early to leave for work. We've never had breakfast or brunch together. Just dinner/sleep over. Anyway, now that it's officially over, I am feeling a little sad. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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Good job. It's normal and healthy for you to feel a little sad at this stage. But someday this will be a long ago memory of the bullet you dodged :) Now just be sure to stick to what you want, even if he fights it or tries to guilt you into post breakup booty calls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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Even if it benefits me? Haha His bathroom is so nice. I am so disappointed that I don't get to take a bath this weekend. I only had about 6 free Saturdays from now until June, all in Feb/Jan and now one is a total bust. But thanks for being kind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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NP: do you have a friend with a nice bathroom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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Haha, not sure...wouldn't that be weird if I asked to come and take a bath? I bet equinox has a nicer shower than my apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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Np Not a bust, just not what you'd planned on. Wallow tonight, drink wine, sing along w cheesy breakup songs. Sleep in tomorrow, hit the gym, clean house, emerge from the weekend spiritually cleansed and ready to move on! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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I did say I would join the gym if I break up with him, which I have suspected would happen for awhile. But I am too thin already, and skipped dinner tonight. Gym is not a good idea for me. I need to eat ice cream or something bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Moving to Chapel Hill, NC. Can anyone recommend areas of town to look in for a house? With good schools and it would be a bonus if there were a walkable town center area. TIA! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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Attended school there. There's a very walkable downtown but it is right in the middle of the university- so it is very loud and crowded on weekend evenings. To live nearby you'd have to live among college students. Apparently there are some great public schools but most of the nicer homes seem to be away from town center. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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We live in Raleigh so can't offer really precisely, targeted information, but I might be your best bet tonight...That said, if you are in CH itself (vs. Durham) you'll be fine for schools. There is housing (beautiful old homes) right near UNC-CH, but think those listings are few are far between. Next town Carrboro also has walkable sections. Most is fairly suburban. Probably best is to drive down for a weekend, drive around to get a sense of what you like and then meet with an agent. This is how we zeroed in on our neighborhood in Raleigh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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A friend liked Carborogh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you know anyone who relocated to RURAL/small-town Canada, and not just a gigantic city like Toronto/Montreal/Vancouver/Regina? How does the person like it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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NOT Toronto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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Yes, middle of nowhere Calgary, love it, super outdoorsy people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 AM Flag
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Calgary is a city, not a rural area! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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The it's middle of nowhere town, Alberta, with the closest city being Calgary. IDK, too small of a town for me to know. They live in the woods and only ever send photos of the outdoors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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