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[ - ] Recently I've been packing on the pounds. A year ago I was 118, was up to 125, and over the past few weeks I've reached 130. (I'm 5'3" a so this is a huge difference). Planning a jump start week to get back on track. What is a reasonable plan (diet and exercise). To loose big this week to get me motivated for the long haul. Tia. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:57 PM Flag
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working out in the am before work, works for me - smoothie from breakfast - fruit as a mid morning snack, salad for lunch, fish or chicken for dinner with veggies and brown rice. almonds and or trail mix as a snack. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I get breast cancer examination without mammogram ? I would like to avoid X ray, and I also have dense breast. Is there anyway These can be done within one day? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:55 PM Flag
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I keep asking for an ultrasound too since that's what they do when they see something with mammogram. I haven't had either yet. 41. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm the OP whose sister thinks my stepson (12) shouldn't attend my wedding since her kids aren't invited. She thinks it "isn't fair." My sister and I live in separate states (I used to be in another country), and I don't know her children well. We're not close because my family of origin is pretty abusive. My sister's oldest child is ill behaved, sassy, and has terrible table manners; I saw her lick mashed potatoes off her hands at our last Thanksgiving. The other kids are still toddlers. I don't really want this at my formal, night time, black tie wedding. WWYD? (Original post here: http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55317861) 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:27 PM Flag
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Have you offered your sister help finding a sitter for her kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:17 PM Flag
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this if sister is coming in from a different state - not fair if you don't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:41 PM Flag
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her sister is a grownup,she should start acting like one... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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I already reached out to future stepson's former nanny. She's basically amazing, future stepson loved her, and way smarter than 99% of people I know (college student when working for future DH - left for a PhD program!!!), and I would trust her with my life. Her stipend absolutely sucks, so we always love having the chance to help her out. Unfortunately, my sister doesn't want "some random stranger" watching her kids. It's not like I suggested the thirteen-year-old girl down the street. :-\ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:29 PM Flag
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that's great, she can take it or leave it - but you did your part and now it is up to her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:36 PM Flag
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Tell her it is his father getting married so he is the EXCEPTION. If she is like any of my sisters she will hold it against you for years, but ignore her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:19 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:28 PM Flag
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Agreed, but also, try to find sitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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just say my son is coming to see his parents get married and my nieces and nephews are not, my wedding my choice... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:32 PM Flag
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Honestly, you don't need to bolster your argument by trashing the poor kid's table manners! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:26 PM Flag
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I agree. Just say no to your sister. Say the stepson is obviously the exception because it's his father getting married. And then say sorry, your nieces and nephews are not invited. And then don't have the discussion any more. Just drop it and move on. Your sis wants a fight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:31 PM Flag
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For a second wife you should be be fairly skilled at not letting other women's hurt feelings bother you. Why does your sister bother you so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:39 PM Flag
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Geez, I am a first wife, and not all second wives were the other woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:31 PM Flag
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OP here. First wife is an addict, is a narcissist, and doesn't care to be in the picture. She wasn't emotionally involved in their lives long before I came into them. She was remarried with kids by the time I met DH. Although she is convinced that I was the other woman...even though I lived in another country altogether when she and future DH were married... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:51 PM Flag
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OP here. Narcissists love to make themselves out to be the victim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:42 PM Flag
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what's your mothers take on all of this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:49 PM Flag
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OP here. My mom is uncomfortable getting involved, although my sister reported that Mom thinks I'm marrying for money. This wedding prep is becoming insane, and I think everyone is feeding off of everyone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:45 PM Flag
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your sister sounds toxic, have you guys always been competitive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:00 PM Flag
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OP here. Random family fun facts: a few months ago, my sister accused me of not loving her kids because I HAVEN'T OFFERED TO PAY FOR THEIR COLLEGE YET. I have no plans of doing this, ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:02 PM Flag
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I mean, maybe if I win the lottery... which would be pretty hard since I don't play. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:03 PM Flag
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lol, so sorry. Seriously, I would stop worring about what my sister wanted. You have stated your plans for no children at the wedding, you have gotten childcare. what your sisters does is her problem now. I would pray she just gets made enough not to come to the wedding, but that is me. I don't like being manipulated and stake a hard stand against it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:05 PM Flag
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Seriously? What is this big HARM of having your nieces and nephews attend your wedding? Yes, the sister sounds like an entitled twat, but why not invite the family and keep the peace? You know, those kids will grow up one day and you may want them to be close to your kids and be family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:55 PM Flag
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These people are crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:55 PM Flag
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Your sister needs to grow up, the stepson is not the same as having other kids at the wedding, the day is partly about him, it is nothing to do with her kids. You offered her a sitter, she refused. Her problem, not yours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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If this matters so much to your sister, why make this into a fight? If you don't want to pay for their food, why not just offer to have them in wedding party as flower girls and then ask sister's nanny to take them away for rest of wedding? I never understand why people don't want to foster family relations. Even if you hate your sister, you (and your kids) may love the pieces/newphews when they grow up. Why not be graceful and generous in spirit at your own wedding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:02 PM Flag
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oops, meant to say nieces/nephews above [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:04 PM Flag
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Both you and your sister are wrong - her for expecting you not to invite your future DH's son, and you for bringing her kids behavior into it -- if they were better behaved, would they be invited? If not, it's not relevant. You are entitled to have a fancy black tie wedding, with no little kids, but I do think not inviting first degree nieces and nephews is a little harsh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:54 PM Flag
[ - ] It is BULLSHIT that DH stays in bed every Sunday morning. Nothing I say seems to make a difference. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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Leave this house. Go to the gym. Go shopping. Go to the bookstore. Then he's forced to wake up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:00 PM Flag
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you went to the gym? where were the kids? you already went to a bookstore? what time do they open on a sunday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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The kids were with DH. easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:52 PM Flag
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then why is she pissed off? i don't understand... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:55 PM Flag
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This was a suggestion, it didn't really happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:57 PM Flag
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do you work or sah? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:50 PM Flag
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I work FT. admittedly fewer hours than him, but after kid-related responsibilities we both sit down at the same time every night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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Stay in bed with him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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With that loud snoring? No thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:06 PM Flag
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You will cherish this time with your kids one day. Live your life around your Dh. He is the one missing this precious time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:00 PM Flag
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Stfu!!!! He needs to do his fair share. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:22 PM Flag
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I am pretty sure no person has ever looked back fondly on getting up early every Sunday to make breakfast and change diapers while their spouse slept in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:34 PM Flag
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there are two weekend days. I sleep in Saturday. Dh sleeps in Sunday. Can't you work something out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:10 PM Flag
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Let the kids play by themselves. No need to helicopter and micromanage every second. Put on some cartoons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:29 PM Flag
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+1 that was sunday morning for me as a kid - I turned out fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:33 PM Flag
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I do this - but then they need bathroom help and breakfast and drinks....they're pretty little.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:34 PM Flag
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they will be older soon - start now training them to be independent in the morning - make sure that fruit and drinks are easy to get to and make them help you while you are helping them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:40 PM Flag
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And in the meantime her DH should take one morning/weekend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:29 PM Flag
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Leave cold cereal out in bowls for them. Add some granola bars, banana, and juice already poured into cups. Leave the iPads on the table and the kids will be happy for a couple of hours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:42 PM Flag
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Why should the OP have to jump through all those hoops to get some rest vs. her DH getting up and acting like a parent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:35 PM Flag
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It is bullshit. I agree with you. My dh used to be the same and I couldn't take it anymore at one point, this parallel existence of his to ours (mine and that of our 2 dcs)… I said that's it and either you change or I leave. He changed. It's amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:29 PM Flag
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after an hour, send the kids in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:34 PM Flag
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Update: HES UP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] This woman is batshit crazy. I hope she loses in every court. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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I agree. You cannot have it both ways. No vac, no school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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I wonder which private let the kid attend without vaccinations? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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Many do in nyc! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:34 PM Flag
[ - ] I am so confused. Every single person who knows our nanny thinks she is best thing since sliced bread. She is well educated, caring etc. She is very much like what I imagine SAHMs in NYC to be. She lets them watch 30 minutes of cartoons a day to get a little break, she serves them simple snacks like Cheerios to not overly complicate her life, she keeps their schedule but if its not convenient to her on any particular day she will shift it. She believes everything is fine in moderation. If I could SAHM I would probably do exact same thing. The issue is that it drives me nuts. I have become the one who has to balanced her relaxed approach and cook healthy meals to supplement, no TV with me because they already watched it with her etc etc. kids love her. All seems great but I am frustrated. Am I just too uptight? Is it just the work/kids balance that is hard and I am focusing my frustration on the nanny? 88 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:01 PM Flag
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Maybe you are a little jealous? Honestly, you should feel blessed by having a good nanny. Your kids are in good hands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:04 PM Flag
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I am jealous not of the kids but of the low workload compared to my time with the kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:06 PM Flag
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Oh I see. Do you think the nanny should be doing more to ease your burden? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:20 PM Flag
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Of course. I feel like she is the mom and I am the help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:09 PM Flag
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This happens all the time on UB because moms feel somehow held hostage to the nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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You're creating that workload for yourself - it doesn't have to exist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:08 PM Flag
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So Cheerios 3x a day and cartoons 2x a day is ok? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:13 PM Flag
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It seems like you don't like the responses you are getting, so keep increasing the amount of TV-watching and Cheerio-giving? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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Well there is her time with the kids and there is mine. I am the one making healthy meals now and she is one giving Cheerios. If I do what she does it will be Cheerios all day and a lot more TV. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:21 PM Flag
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If she feeds them nothing but Cheerios and lets them watch TV all day, obviously that's a problem. But that's not what you said in your OP! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:23 PM Flag
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She doesn't let them watch TV all day and they have healthy balance in food because I cook [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:28 PM Flag
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If the cooking is the only problem, maybe just talk to her about easy, healthy things she can give them so you don't have to cook as much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:05 PM Flag
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If the cooking is the only problem, maybe just talk to her about easy, healthy things she can give them so you don't have to cook as much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:05 PM Flag
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I have many times. As I said, her answer is moderation. Frankly I would prefer to use TV for a break on weekends and not the nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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I have many times. As I said, her answer is moderation. Frankly I would prefer to use TV for a break on weekends and not the nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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I would relax about the TV - the nanny is right about the moderation part on that, IMO. But no Cheerios for lunch! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:11 PM Flag
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You're too uptight. This is about you. You have the perfect nanny; be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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Would you just show them more cartoons and give them more Cheerios for dinner when you got he from work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:07 PM Flag
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NP: Pretty much yes. Not Cheerios, but we eat simple quick dinners during the week because we are always pressed for time, and DC watch can watch TV after they have taken their baths/showers as long as HW is done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:14 PM Flag
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How about during the day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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I'm not sure why you have to drag SAHMs into this. But your post demonstrates your frustration with wanting to be in 2 places at once. You want to be the best mom and the best working professional, and haven't found that balance yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:21 PM Flag
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I have no issues with SAHMs at all but they are moms and get to decide. I feel the nanny is at work and shouldn't be the one taking easy way out and telling me all is good in moderation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:14 PM Flag
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Agree with you op- the posters here are nuts to say this behavior is ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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The behavior got steadily worse through the post until the OP started getting the answers she wanted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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It did not. You misunderstand. My point is that if I do what nanny does then it will be Cheerios all day long. I am the one who balances it out and if I where to stop it would be "worse" as you put it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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I honestly can't tell from your posts if the nanny is actually a problem, or just not much of a cook, but otherwise doing a good job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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OR: The OP wrote her nanny is "very much like what I imagine SAHMs in NYC to be". Then the OP writes that the nanny shifts the kids naps to make her day easier. An SAHM would never do this. Face it. You have a lazy nanny, and you can't be in 2 places at once. Find a new nanny. Then get rid of your current one. Focus your energy on THIS, and not what you IMAGINE Sahms do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:07 PM Flag
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OP: it was not meant to be a negative remark on SAHMs. I think if I was SAHM I would allow myself a but more flexibility because I would know to adjust bedtime etc. it's more complicated when I have to take over after work and kids are either overtired or not tired enough for bed time. I have actually seem nannies complain of the opposite on UB saying that patents have different schedules/standards thus making their jobs difficult [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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nannies suck. she should do more since you are actually paying her for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:22 PM Flag
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Like what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:13 PM Flag
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She is doing what you sometimes wish you could do, if circumstances were different. However, it only moves this smoothly because you and nanny mesh so well. You are both doing your part. Don't borrow trouble by looking for faults where there are few to find. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:22 PM Flag
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It's working well for the kids and for the nanny but not for me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:15 PM Flag
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Then it is not working well. Then nap needs to be decreased, the TV eliminated and the snacks improved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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Having the kids be happy and get along with the nanny is important. You are just unhappy because you work and are tired. It's not the nanny's fault. Here's the thing. I worked as a nanny for 2 years after college, a one year stint with 2 different families. As a nanny I am being paid to do what a SAHM would be doing. Almost all SAHM let kids watch half an hour of TV and have cheerios for snacks sometimes. And if your kids are under age 4, it's even more understandable that your nanny behaves how she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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You have every right to set standards for an employee. Unfortunately, hard to do if you have had for a while, but not impossible. How many kids/hours does she work. Maybe cut down TV to 15 minutes, upgrade food to fruits and vegetables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:24 PM Flag
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Her reply is everything is good in moderation. It maybe an hour of TV for all I know. I am sure it's not a terrible amount but I have no way to know the exact number or to control it. Same with food [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:16 PM Flag
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tell her you will do the moderation, you are paying her to do the hard stuff. like not letting them have TV [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:25 PM Flag
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TY! That's exactly what I am getting at. She gets to claim moderation because I balance her out. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Why is everyone telling me she is so amazing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:30 PM Flag
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Because she puts on a big show of being loving and sweet. Because your kids always seems super happy with her - of course they do! She's like Santa! This is NOT what is actually good for kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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TY! I feel like I am the crazy uptight one thinking this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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Not amazing - very lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:35 PM Flag
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of course the kids love her, she does whatever they want. I would definitely have a talk with her. if she doesn't get with your program, you replace her. If you want to come home and watch TV with your DC after a long day of work, that is fine. I would tell her NO tv ever, and set certain snacks to be allowed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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This! She is not a good nanny, she is taking it way too easy! If you make new rules like no tv etc, are you confident that she will follow them? If not fire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:29 PM Flag
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She will not follow. I have a no TV rule she just doesn't follow it after many conversations about it she eventually slips back to cartoons [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:41 PM Flag
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Would your boss accept an answer like this from YOU? Unlikely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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I feel your frustration and am in a not dissimilar position. I don't think you are asking for too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:16 PM Flag
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I don't get it. Does she serve then Cheerios for lunch? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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Yes if I don't make lunch and tell her to give it but kids will often ask for Cheerios with her because that's the pattern. We go through one large box a week with 2 kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:31 PM Flag
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What??!!! That is completely unacceptable! Letting them have Cheerios in place of lunch is unacceptable. She should be cooking and serving healthy lunch/meals to your kids. And you shouldn't be doing the cooking! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:11 PM Flag
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So stop buying the Cheerios, buy the things you do want her to feed them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:12 PM Flag
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She goes and buys a box then. It's $5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:42 PM Flag
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Good lord OP!!! How can you let her get away with this crap! You need to find another nanny ASAP. This one is way way out of control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 02:00 PM Flag
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BTDT. You need to fire her. Really. She is taking advantage of you. Her job is to SUPPORT you, not make you into the bad guy, which is essentially what she is doing. You can do SO much better. I promise. Fire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:27 PM Flag
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so does she shift their naps and make your bedtime a living hell? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:29 PM Flag
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Yes!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:31 PM Flag
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Get rid of her. BYE BYE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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+1000000000000000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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omg that's f up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:47 PM Flag
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It sounds like you think there should only be one time during the day for whomever is caring for your kids to "relax" and get a break by distracting them with tv/a less than nutritious meal, and you think that person should be you, not your nanny. Just remember that watching kids all day long is tedious, especially if they aren't your own, and it's not unreasonable for the nanny to want a 30 minute pause during the daily grind. If that means your kids end up getting an hour of TV between you and the nanny, it's not so bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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She gets a 2 hour nap as rest time. Isn't that sufficient. She has 4 hours of work before nap and 4 hours after [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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You didn't mention the nap before. Yes, that should suffice. Time to crack down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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More than enough down time for the bitch, get rid of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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TY. Indeed my confidence back. She is so confident and projects such a strong positive impression on people I feel like I am crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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She's a PR show. And hard to manage. Start interviewing asap, hire someone, on Friday afternoon tell nanny you've decided to SAHM, today is her last day, hand over keys. Watch your life magically get much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:58 PM Flag
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Omg! This is even worse, with a two hour nap she dOes not need to give them tv fOr her break. You nanny is very lazy and totally taking advantage!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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why isn't the nanny cooking any healthy meals for the kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:30 PM Flag
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It's more work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:36 PM Flag
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that's what nanny is paid for. wtf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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+1. I was about to comment on this. I think the nanny has you cowed. She likely has a pleasant demeanor and is well educated so everyone compliments her. Clearly, they dont know that she is letting your kids eat crap instead of cooking healthy meals and letting them watch TV when she needs a break. I have a hard time understanding why she can't manage them without TV. How old are they and how many hours are the at home v school and not napping. Between preschool for older kids and naps for younger, she shouldn't need to resprt to TV. SAHM is a little different bc the SAHMs day with the kids both starts earlier and ends later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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the entitled nannies have you working for them instead of the other way around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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OP: IA about SAHM and I would do same. My comment wasn't meant as negative in regard to SAHMs at all. My oldest is 4 and at school till 3. My youngest is home all day and naps for 2 hours. She usually does TV after picking up older dc from school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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Then that's complete baloney. She just doesn't want to work in the afternoon except to pick up older DC. I was trying to convey to you that the fact that a SAHM might sometimes resort to TV, does not remotely justify the nanny in doing so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:07 PM Flag
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Omg - nanny is walking all over you OP. She does not need to do tv at all. Fire and get someone who will cook and maybe do a little cleaning during nap time if there is no cooking. Will make life a lot easier for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:28 PM Flag
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Not too uptight. When I WOH, I told my nanny no tv at all. I bought the snacks and did not allow Cheerios. Now I am home with the kids and we still do not do tv over the week, only weekends and holidays. Also I would not like it if a nanny decided to tell me "everything in moderation is fine", that is not her place, I make the rules for my kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:31 PM Flag
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TY. She has a very strong personality and I end up questioning myself all the time. She is just so sure of her self. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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She sounds like a wrong fit. I avoid strong personalities when hiring a nanny because I know I won't be able to manage them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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Yes! Me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:33 PM Flag
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so what is it that you want her to do? be detailed and implement it with her - let her know that although things have seemed okay, they really are not and that from now on xyz needs to be done - if she won't find someone that will you are the parent and employer - you do have the control [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:51 PM Flag
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You need to get backup plan before you switch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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I understand. Does she cook? Can she take some of the burden off you by prepping or cooking? Is it possible to have everything you want in a nanny? Doesn't she fill the bill on the most important things? I dont see harm in relaxing your standards for yourself and allowing a little more tv after homework if you need it, or giving cheerios again, which by the way are healthful enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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if she is pissing you off that much, get rid of her. forget what other people say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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She isn't really pissing me off as much as making me feel unsure of myself. I have lost confidence. I question whether I am the problem and want too much. I really appreciate how supportive a lot of replies are. I think I have completely lost my sanity and question myself all the time. I was never like this. It's not natural for me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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it's not you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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it sounds like you might want to see a therapist, honestly. You sound very insecure in your role as a mother. You are the mom. The nanny is your employee. You decide how you want your children raised, and you dictate this to your paid employee. She is welcome to offer suggestions, but it sounds like she is actually telling you what to do. That is where you say, "No. I am paying you to manage the household according to my plan/schedule" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:47 PM Flag
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Were. She works for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:06 PM Flag
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You need to think of other food options so that's if one of you feeds the kid, the other can too. (Try hummus and carrots, peanut butter on celery, fruit, almonds...there are other options out there.) Give her some recipes, I'm sure she'd try them. Get some educational videos and let them watch with you...foreign language, drawing etc. You shouldn't be mad at her...doesn't make sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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I don't let my nanny give any tv for this reason. I don't think it's unreasonable to tell your nanny no tv. You could also ask her to do things you don't want to like bath maybe? And Cheerios are a fine snack. But if you don't like just ask her to cut up apples or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:32 PM Flag
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I get the snacks and food thing, but if you work all day why would you want your kids to watch TV during the 3 hours you see them at night? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] More celebs pics were leaked yesterday dang how many pics of Jennifer Lawrence do they have? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:59 AM Flag
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As many as she took... Wonder if their are any really naughty ones ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:57 AM Flag
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Yes there is one that's pretty bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:59 AM Flag
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That one with the two fingers in her vagina? Hard to tell it's even her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:50 PM Flag
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Ok. Isn't this a publicity stunt? It can help any celebrity or aspiring (Kim K) celebrity's career??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:18 PM Flag
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I don't see how these pics help her except to skank up her image. Maybe that's what she is going for [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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i don't care - i cannot muster any energy to worry about what happens to celebs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:23 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:39 PM Flag
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It could happen to anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:53 PM Flag
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can't happen to me, no nude pictures [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:56 PM Flag
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Skanks everywhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:07 PM Flag
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They mostly looked photo shopped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:57 PM Flag
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She's not even all that. Who cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:43 PM Flag
[ - ] So that poster from yesterday was right I guess. The spammers take Sunday off. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:50 AM Flag
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It has been this way for a while. It's great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:26 PM Flag
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Sunday is a day of rest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:47 PM Flag
[ - ] What percent of your life are you happy? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:16 AM Flag
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Currently, about 90%. BTW, I am divorced. When I was married, less than 50%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:44 AM Flag
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OP - Do you have a boyfriend? Kids? Great job? Great friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:42 AM Flag
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No boyfriend, great job, friends, kids and family. Close to my siblings. Guys have shown interest but I am happy by myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:08 AM Flag
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Me too!-divorced I would say 90% as well. Less than 20% when married. My kids are so much happier too- happy mom, tension free home, etc. They see their dad almost everyday, overnights during the week and every other weekend, so tried to make it seamless for them, but got rid of the household stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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75 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:58 AM Flag
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Less than 10%, for sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:09 AM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:53 AM Flag
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Probably 90%. The older I get the happier I get. I'm as surprised as anyone. (Late middle age, btw.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:58 AM Flag
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It's normal to get happier with age. People start to stop judging themselves against other people, and start accepting themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:11 PM Flag
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Thanks. It's nice. And considering all the other things (like my looks going south) it's nice to have something positive. Very freeing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:24 PM Flag
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Couldn't agree more. It's awesome. I always remember a coach of mine once telling me this in my late 20s, saying that half of what he tried to do was accelerate that natural "accepting" process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:31 PM Flag
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It will only work if spouse on same page [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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This is sad, but lately about 50%. We are TTC so every month there is a sad/angry/teary week where I have my period. Also my 2 year old is very fun but rather exhausting and being a SAHM is kind of draining. I miss working sometimes, but I think it's worth it to stay home right now. There are a lot of good moments with dd I wouldn't want to have missed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:26 PM Flag
[ - ] ER doc - please stop the wheezing 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 08:00 AM Flag
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What does this mean ER doc? Are you at the hospital next to a patient? Are you at home with your child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:16 AM Flag
[ - ] ER doc here, I don't think I've seen this much wheezing in a long time 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 07:59 AM Flag
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Do you think it's EN D68? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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I'm dying over here with that. My normal pulmicort isn't working. What do you give to your patients? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:44 PM Flag
[ - ] My child got 158 on Stanford Binet test, but only a 70 on G and T. What do you make of that? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 07:30 AM Flag
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bad day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:21 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:47 AM Flag
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No such thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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Did you prep for either? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 11:53 AM Flag
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This happens. Almost never hear of the reverse. Think SB sometimes is high because of tester. G&t I think is more accurate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:06 PM Flag
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BTW my kid was 150 SB and 99 ERB and 99 G&T and recall G&T to be the harder exam [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:07 PM Flag
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Np my dc had 130 SB and a 99 on the g&t [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:14 PM Flag
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NNP: Mine had similar scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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My dc was the opposite. He was ESL and didn't have enough English to score high on some sections of SB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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^ 138 SB 99 G&T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:05 PM Flag
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A lot depends on the tester and how the kid is feeling. I swear my dh taking ds to the SB got him a few extra points - and it was closer than the erb testing site too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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No idea - my child got 156 on the SB and 99% on G&T (missed one question!). Would up bored in gen-ed public. Alas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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We had the same though with ERB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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I'd believe the SB. Can't prep for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh surprised me with a vow renewal tonight. Just the 2 of us and dd on the beach :) 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 06:13 AM Flag
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Aw, that is sweet!! How many years married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 06:08 AM Flag
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He is having an affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 10:47 AM Flag
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This seems obvious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:20 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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Was he buzzed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:27 PM Flag
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that's so sweet, but I cannot help to think that every vow renewal I hear about the couple divorces soon afterwards - GL to you and your family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:28 PM Flag
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I am waiting to see what happens with the Long Island Medium [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:50 PM Flag
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Tell that to Vicki Gunvalson and her love tank [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:07 PM Flag
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'twas the death knell for Ramona as well. I have the personal theory that the vow renewal just gives one partner the opportunity to finally realize they would not actually marry the person in front of them again, that there's no more magic, and that if they have to "renew" something, maybe it's time to cancel the subscription while there is time left. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:31 PM Flag
[ - ] GET EDUCATED: Here are links to numerous scientific studies on links between autism and vaccines -- http://www.activistpost.com/2013/09/22-medical-studies-that-show-vaccines.html 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 04:59 AM Flag
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and so on: http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/2013/07/10/comment-on-do-aluminum-vaccine-adjuvants-contribute-to-the-rising-prevalence-of-autism/ this man actually has an autistic child. but he also is a research scientist with a statistics background. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 05:45 AM Flag
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and one more and you can do the same for all the "sources." http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2011/06/08/more-bad-science-in-the-service-of-the-discredited-idea/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 05:48 AM Flag
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Dear OP. There are NO peer-reviewed scientific studies that show such links. There was one, 20 years ago, in the UK, that started this nonsense. And the man who wrote it has been since shown to be a fraud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 12:01 PM Flag
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Get aids and die [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:24 PM Flag
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Idiot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.21.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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