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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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To to events, ask people to lunch, smile , always smile
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05.24.13, 03:39 AM
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Start by just smiling at people as you walk by them in the halls. Maybe that will lead to hellos and how are you, etc. slowly weave yourself into the social culture.
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05.24.13, 03:40 AM
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I know someone like you (could be you!), and you really need to smile at people when you see them in the hallway, or in the cafeteria - it can make a world of difference. And seem genuinely glad to see them. If you don't like big mix and mingle events (I don't), start reaching out to one or two women you know there and set up lunches - tell them you have a project or an idea that you'd like their input on and the think of one. Use that as an entree to ask about their lives, their kids, etc. You don't have to gossip to be part of the mix.
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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Thanks for all the suggestions!, yes I do smile, I have a round face and am generally happy..but I am TERRIBLE at small talk. I do t have much in common with the majority of my coworkers - many are women like me, but they are older, with grown kids, and other people in my title are more aggressive,with the shop talk. I tend to be very efficient and will do a lot of administrative tasks instead of letting it trickle down to more junior coworkers because I hate confrontation and don't want to be disappointed with the work product. The lunch idea sounds swell, I think I can try that!
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05.24.13, 03:48 AM
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Umm try not to use words like swell....
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05.24.13, 03:49 AM
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We all hate small talk, really. Maybe start following sports so you have that to chat about.
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05.24.13, 03:44 AM
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How does one hint that you were aloof, not personable, unapproachable, smug, and holier than thou?
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05.24.13, 03:49 AM
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05.24.13, 03:30 AM
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One of these is not like the others...
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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Where are the Asians?
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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He was so cute when he was a kid.
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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Also, 5 years ago.
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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Oh, ITA. He's remarkably good looking
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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Yes, he is a very attractive wealth redistributionist.
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05.24.13, 03:38 AM
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I don't think fuglies get elected president.
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05.24.13, 03:32 AM
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Explain Richard Nixon.
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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Wasn't he a ladies man?
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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He was a fugly ladies man.
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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George bush sr and jr? Yuck!
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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Prom? They were all drinking!
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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Love him. He looks good there!
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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How dare he date a white woman!! What were her parents thinking letting her go out with him? She must have went without permission. Sad.
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05.24.13, 03:32 AM
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God what a cute pic! Honestly he's the only president ever I've ever felt any remote connection to.
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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Sorry, you must be black.
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05.24.13, 03:42 AM
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lol
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05.24.13, 03:44 AM
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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You have posted about this for a while. You can't just keep moving her around. She's got to stick it out. Don't play into the drama.
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05.24.13, 03:20 AM
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op-:( i am just heartbroken over this. she is so sad and its not changing. the kids in the current school in her grade are little shi**s - hate to say it but its true..so many issues. i am asking her to stick out being in a place where she isn't liked by anyone in her grade. the whole thing is awful and my fault.
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05.24.13, 03:28 AM
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You can look for another school but not old one - you left for a reason
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05.24.13, 03:29 AM
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you gave her what she asked for. Next time you can use your better judgement as the parent. And hopefully she'll learn to be careful what she askes for. Look- I spent my junior high days wildly unpopular, called ethnic slurs, no friends. I'm stronger for it.
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05.24.13, 03:26 AM
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Most girls that age are awful relax
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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op-she is in early puberty. that is the other issue. she is way ahead of development with kids in her grade at current school - but not in old school.
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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I must know what was old school
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05.24.13, 03:44 AM
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Stop being heartbroken.
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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Don't look back
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05.24.13, 03:27 AM
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i would switch her back, you tried something that didn't work, but she needs to be happy. get her a tutor who can help her to stay stimulated, GL
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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np: Old school won't take her back because of all the switching. OP has posted about this for a while.
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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Although I agree with the OR in theory, THIS
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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She's going to be PMSing for the next couple of years. It's your job to make decisions for her based on logic, not emotion
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05.24.13, 03:30 AM
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Why did you move her out of her old school?
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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op-it was my fault. she was adjusting and i had a lot of serious stuff going on. had limited bandwidth to process what she was dealing with and was like fine - you want to switch back, lets do it. mistake. but i was spread so thin and operating on like 2 brain cells.
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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Sometimes it just takes one friend. She's a little old for this, but can you get on a committee or two so you can get to know some other moms of girls her age and see if you can find a way to get them together -- brunch at your house, etc., with the moms.
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05.24.13, 03:39 AM
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op-she has friends in older grades - but not hers. she knows the girls but they are not her style.
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05.24.13, 03:40 AM
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05.24.13, 03:13 AM
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Please me make a size 4 again
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05.24.13, 03:08 AM
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Deep.
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05.24.13, 03:11 AM
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Thank you. I need divine intervention at this point.
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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Do you live in NYC? I have really never seen anything that makes me believe you guys are just in some kind of crazy miserable food prison. You have the best food around you, and yet you can't really eat any of it. I'm size 16, married, have great kids, have great friends, lots of money, I have fun and even get into a bathing suit. I feel bad for you that you somehow get humiliated if you are not a size 4. I know you probably are reading this and think, well, but I don't matter, I'm not in NYC, you don't care about people like me. But we care about people like you. And you sound miserable.
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05.24.13, 03:38 AM
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How great wish I could be like that
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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Maybe he's concentrating on Oklahoma.
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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NO
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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You're not really there are you?
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05.24.13, 03:15 AM
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Where? Asking god to make me a size 4? Nope. Not there. Wait. Let me ask now... NO. Still not a 4.
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05.24.13, 03:11 AM
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of course I am always here
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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world peace...
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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Cliche
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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It's a cliche for a reason
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05.24.13, 03:12 AM
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+1
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05.24.13, 03:22 AM
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Where did I put my keys
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05.24.13, 03:13 AM
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Now that's a waste of a God question
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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in your back pocket
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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If you are there, how did you let so many atrocities happen like the holocaust? I think about that a lot and often wonder how did something like that ever happen. Makes me lose faith in humanity.
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05.24.13, 03:14 AM
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He hates the Jews
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05.24.13, 03:14 AM
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No that couldn't be right. PEOPLE hate Jews.
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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Ugh here comes the Jew bashing - I'm a Jew and I will fight hard - get ready ladies
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05.24.13, 03:24 AM
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I am not Jew bashing. I am Jewish. I just meant that other people hate us and that it's not god.
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05.24.13, 03:27 AM
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I love the Jews. Don't mess with them or I will mess with you.
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Okay, Newtown then. Does he hate sweet little children and devoted teachers too?
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05.24.13, 03:24 AM
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A lot of other people were killed in the holocaust, dummy. Not to take away from the Jews, but gypsies, gays, poles, Slavs, political dissidents. Hitler hated everyone.
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05.24.13, 03:20 AM
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Oh stop - you're clearly a goy
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05.24.13, 03:27 AM
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I am a goy who had family in labor camps so shove it.
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05.24.13, 03:22 AM
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You never hear 6 million gays were murdered or 6 million gypsies - these groups don't have their own museu,s or movies - gimme a break - find your own hardship or plague - the Jews have a lock on the holocaust
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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Right on
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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That wasn't my point at all. Relax. My point was horrible things happen because they happen, not because god lets them happen.
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05.24.13, 03:26 AM
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So you don't know either
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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How would anyone know?
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05.24.13, 03:30 AM
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Exactly.
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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Sounds like a wholly different point...but listen sister we're letting you off the hook here... Bc you know we Jews are compassionate and forgiving
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05.24.13, 03:35 AM
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Where's your museum?
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05.24.13, 03:46 AM
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So true. Millions of other people weren't nearly wiped out. Jews suffered the most and that is very clear.
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05.24.13, 03:29 AM
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Like I said, not to take away from the Jews. I'm not having a suffering contest here. I love Jewish people, I'm just saying the holocaust was horrible for a lot of people and "God let it happen" for them too.
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05.24.13, 03:25 AM
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Revisionist post - that's not what you said, but ok - fellow Jew here - ill take it.
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05.24.13, 03:32 AM
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Read the original post, I pretty much said the same thing. After you guys hitler had a list of people he was after.
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05.24.13, 03:29 AM
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Yep - the people who hid the Jews!!!
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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I think most of Eastern Europe was next. The guy was a fucking loon.
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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Maybe but it's still a Jewish thing
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05.24.13, 03:42 AM
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I get it but people who are not Jewish truly don't understand
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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I am not Jewish and I agree with this. I can't imagine
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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Good question
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05.24.13, 03:22 AM
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What did you really do on day 7?
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05.24.13, 03:22 AM
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Played solitaire
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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UB
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05.24.13, 03:24 AM
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Rocked out with his cock out
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05.24.13, 03:20 AM
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What happens after you die?
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05.24.13, 03:26 AM
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why how would that help you in this life?
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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My parents are both gone, I would like to know if there is an afterlife
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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Why?
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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Why are men such idiots?
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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Did you find Margaret self centered?
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05.24.13, 03:28 AM
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Lol!!
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Thx - I thought it was clever - wasn't sure anyone would get it!
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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No she was honest about what she wanted.
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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Why am I here?
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05.24.13, 03:22 AM
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How can I make my SIL like me?
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05.24.13, 03:28 AM
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why do you need her to like you?
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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So she will stop being annoying
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05.24.13, 03:39 AM
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Why do I suck so much - please make me better than I am.
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Awww, what's wrong?
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05.24.13, 03:30 AM
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You don't suck. You were created in God's image and have in it you to become who you want to be.
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05.24.13, 03:32 AM
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Oy
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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Ugh :(
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05.24.13, 03:40 AM
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Don't be such a cynic. Religion isp powerful for many people.
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05.24.13, 03:47 AM
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This I get.
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05.24.13, 03:37 AM
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Please help me to raise my children to be good caring people.
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05.24.13, 03:31 AM
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If? I ask him questions all the time.
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05.24.13, 03:33 AM
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Who?
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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Why can't unicorns be real?
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05.24.13, 03:34 AM
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DD go back to sleep!
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05.24.13, 03:43 AM
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It isn't fair!!
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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Please take away my fear that keeps me from trying
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05.24.13, 03:45 AM
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05.24.13, 03:11 AM
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How old is dd?
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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How old is the nanny? If she's 24 I would chalk it up to being young and stupid. If she's 40 gtfo.
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05.24.13, 03:18 AM
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Fire her.
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05.24.13, 03:11 AM
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Seriously?
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05.24.13, 03:20 AM
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Yes seriously. Fire her. It proves she cannot be trusted.
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05.24.13, 03:18 AM
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I can't think of any advice, but I'm sorry you probably have to go through the process of finding a new nanny.
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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+1.
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05.24.13, 03:18 AM
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it's not just the lack of judgement, which MAYBE you could explain away. It's telling your dd not to lie. That is bad. Very bad. Fire her, sorry.
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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^plus this is not the first time.
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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agree. red flag. what else is she telling dd to lie about? what message does that send dd? would she have done same thing with a boyfriend? what is she lying to you about? untrustworthy.
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05.24.13, 03:19 AM
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+1
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05.24.13, 03:30 AM
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This would be absolutely unacceptable to me. Not the leaving dd at the park with the other nanny, but her request of dd to keep it a secret from me. No way. How long has she worked for you and how do you feel about her otherwise? If you have a long history with her, and if this is the first real issue, consider whether you'd feel comfortable giving her a strong warning and moving on. Otherwise, fire her.
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05.24.13, 03:20 AM
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+1. Offense debatable, coverup huge.
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05.24.13, 03:24 AM
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Fire her. Telling my kid to lie to me is dangerous.
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Fire her. Telling my kid to lie to me is dangerous.
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Leaving your DC with another nanny, that presumably she knows is not a big deal. However asking your DC to lie about it is inexcusable. You are dealing with someone who will lie to you about other things, maybe steal from you and is not trustworthy.
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05.24.13, 03:24 AM
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BTW, OP, how old is your dd, and what did you say to her after she told you what had happened? I think it'd great that she told you in spite of the nanny asking her not to.
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05.24.13, 03:28 AM
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I told her that I was so proud of her for telling me. I told her that grown-ups are not supposed to ask kids to keep secrets and when they do, she needs to tell me, just like she did. She was really nervous to tell me and was clearly conflicted. This whole thing is so upsetting. We have a long, wonderful history with the nanny.
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05.24.13, 03:42 AM
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Why is OP not answering a single question?
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05.24.13, 03:44 AM
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Sorry, I've been trying to distract myself by figuring out what Tinder is.
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05.24.13, 03:45 AM
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Fire her - there's two strikes right there. 1) leaving her and 2) telling her to keep secrets from you.
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05.24.13, 03:45 AM
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Ok, I do think you should fire her, but if DD loves her, you could be somewhat punishing her for being a whistle blower. Next time she WILL keep the secret. I would let it go quietly for now, but on the side be working Nanny out in a way that your DD doesn't think it's because she told.
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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buh-bye Nanny
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05.24.13, 03:47 AM
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05.24.13, 02:59 AM
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share!!
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05.24.13, 02:54 AM
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I don't know how to!! Seriously how doi give you the link?
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05.24.13, 03:02 AM
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Just google a picture and send us the link
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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Copy and paste the web address into a reply box on here
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05.24.13, 03:10 AM
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cute
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05.24.13, 03:08 AM
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Cheap knockoff of the ps1, duh
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05.24.13, 03:36 AM
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Not even remotely close - cant believe you spent your time cutting and pasting this. What a waste of life.
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05.24.13, 03:38 AM
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And then you spent time looking at it and formulating a response...
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05.24.13, 03:43 AM
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Had no Idea it was a bag on eBay intended to mock my purchase.
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05.24.13, 03:47 AM
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So funny that your upset the knock off but not spending almost $1000 on a bag? Ub you crack me up.
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05.24.13, 03:39 AM
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+1
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05.24.13, 03:52 AM
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It's very cute, but I'm not a big fan of the color. Love the style, though.
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05.24.13, 03:42 AM
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You should make a tinder account for your bag.
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05.24.13, 03:02 AM
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jk
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05.24.13, 03:02 AM
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Hahahahwh
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05.24.13, 02:57 AM
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Just couldn't help yourself, could you?
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05.24.13, 03:04 AM
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No, and I'm not even the tinder spammer
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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lol!
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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I actually really never understood this. bags all seem the same to me. Do you feel different carrying it around? Do you imagine people are looking at you and admiring you?
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05.24.13, 02:57 AM
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Same I am not really a "bag lady." I have a couple Longchamps that I switch out as necessary and I'm good.
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05.24.13, 03:04 AM
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she rubs it on her va jay jay
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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Yes yes yes I am important and amazing. No you dope. I love fashion it is art to me - I always have. I don't like names or logos I like certain things can't explain it - not doing it for anybody but me. Have been like this for forever
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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Yes of course it is art now it makes sense. I am just a plebeian.
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05.24.13, 03:18 AM
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No - different things appeal to different folks - don't love jewelry much - and can do without good make up and could care less about my car
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05.24.13, 03:21 AM
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Some people appreciate good design and/or craftsmanship.
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05.24.13, 03:02 AM
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Enjoy it! I love those. They are similar to Celines but less expensive.
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05.24.13, 03:05 AM
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I really hate celines. np
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05.24.13, 03:00 AM
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Oh don't be such a downer
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05.24.13, 03:13 AM
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They're so ugly! They're deliberately trying to be fat and accordion-like
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05.24.13, 03:15 AM
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Sounds like you're friends.
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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Is it the Pashli satchel? What color?
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05.24.13, 03:10 AM
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Yes - coral - thoughts? Love
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05.24.13, 03:13 AM
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Love the bag. I would've done a neutral but that's just me...
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05.24.13, 03:15 AM
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The neutral wasn't a great color IMO - I like more of a camel but thx!
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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I'm afraid to do anything adventurous color-wise when I'm spending that much...
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05.24.13, 03:17 AM
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I always do black camel or orange lol
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05.24.13, 03:18 AM
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Are you Purse Whisperer Mom?
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05.24.13, 03:15 AM
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No but she must be my kindred spirit
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05.24.13, 03:16 AM
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I don't get the bag thing either. I never see a bag on the street and say I love her bag. I like fashion but purses don't do it for me. Plus I see ver little new in that area it's all been said and done.
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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If $825 is blowing their college funds, your kids are in trouble.
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05.24.13, 03:39 AM
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05.24.13, 02:56 AM
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love that place. walk to the movies . walk to the mall
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05.24.13, 02:52 AM
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If I could use Tinder there, definitely.
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05.24.13, 02:59 AM
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tori spelling's mom would be your neighbor. how kool is that
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05.24.13, 02:54 AM
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op: I thought she lived in that monstrosity?
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05.24.13, 02:56 AM
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the century is the monstrosity. next to the century plaza hotel .
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05.24.13, 03:04 AM
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Robert Stern designed it. (the architect of 15 Central Park West, which is beautiful)
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05.24.13, 02:58 AM
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How old are your kids? Can you afford private school? Living there you'll need it...
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05.24.13, 03:11 AM
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I wouldn't. We have dogs and need to be able to let them out. In a condo what do you do? Leave baby napping and take the dog out? No way...
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05.24.13, 03:13 AM
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i think in that building the concierge will walk your dog for you
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05.24.13, 03:23 AM
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Wow, all of the NYC apartment building dwellers with dogs have figured it out, someone may be willing to share their super-secrety secret.
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05.24.13, 03:41 AM
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