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[ - ] Do you ever get the feeling that a lot of posters here are "imposters", if you will? Not really "trolls" because they don't really try to start arguments or upset people, but they are more playing out a fantasy of what they think "rich NYC women" are supposed to say? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Like who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:05 PM Flag
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I feel like a lot of the "NOKD" posters are bored, umc, suburban women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:04 PM Flag
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There's no reason to be jealous of others if you aren't poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:05 PM Flag
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See, I think a lot of the posters who scream "jelly" are, in fact, frauds. I have a significant amount of money and I don't go around assuming everybody is jealous of me. It's odd, nobody does that in real life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:06 PM Flag
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I don't believe you. I have money in the nine figures. I don't even really live umc. But I believe there are a lot of rich and smart women on here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:09 PM Flag
[ - ] You have been transported to the setting of the last book you read. What's the book, and where are you? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
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Shoot, I am in the Hunger Games arena. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:59 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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I'm in District 13. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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Late 19th century America. The song of the lark. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:00 PM Flag
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I'm jetsetting in Singapore with Crazy Rich Asians [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Relativity. Earth & the rest of the universe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Damn, Enfield Tennis Academy in Boston, and I'm in a sleeveless dress and sandals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:03 PM Flag
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Paris in the 40s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:05 PM Flag
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I'm in 18th century Versailles court. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What happen to Ebola mom? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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Died of ebola. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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She dead [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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Like really dead. Like OMG dead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:54 PM Flag
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Fortunately I have her dog [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Guess she didn't get the blood transfusion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Re-posting my PSA for the morning crowd: If you get a G&T offer, take it. Otherwise your DC will be bored by 2nd grade. BTDT. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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Even gt is pretty tame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:49 PM Flag
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Things pick up everywhere around 3rd grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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With the exception of UWSA. Not the other SA, but definitely UWSA is great for 99s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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is this the anti-SA mom yet again trying a new angle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone at or have been at a citywide g&t in K and not feeling like it's challenging dc? Would speyer has been better? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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No, some kids will be bored anywhere and will have to be homeschooled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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what if homeschooling isn't an option? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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Then feel lucky that you got a citywide spot, which many of us would have been OVER THE FREAKING MOON about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:54 PM Flag
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maybe you should homeschool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
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You'll just have to wait and supplement. They don't ramp up much until middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:01 PM Flag
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It's october -- I think you should wait awhile. Also, while it's important for your child to be challenged -- that isn't the whole ball of wax. There are many things to learn in lower school that serve you in life besides simply academics (which you have middle and upper school for). See how it goes for awhile before you decide he/she is unhappy. A really bright child will find ways to challenge themselves and learn no matter where they go to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:00 PM Flag
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Bullshit. Some kids will just be bored bored bored until middle school. Usually, it's fine. But sometimes, they will never have developed good study habits which will bite them in the ass in high school or college. It's not good for many bright kids who just glide through the early grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you think of for-profit schools? Would you ever choose one for dc? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:46 PM Flag
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Our dcs went to a for-profit preschool, Claremont/Montclare. We loved it, met great families, our dcs thrived, and they are now in fantastic ongoing school. The for profit model had minimal impact on our experience there. However, I understand that may have changed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Gabriella Rowe moved to Houston? Why would she leave NYC? I understand she left to run another school but why in Houston? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:46 PM Flag
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You've asked this multiple times. We don't know why she moved. She sold her school and is laughing all the way to the bank in Houston. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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Maybe she had a good offer. Wanted to take on a new challenge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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There are only so many for-profit private schools in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm worried the guy I am dating is doing the slow fade? How can I figure it out so we can just end it if that's what he wants??? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:44 PM Flag
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Call KTU, set him up for War of the Roses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:49 PM Flag
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Don't call or text email. Very simple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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Let him take the lead. And if you don't hear from him, just write him off. Not every situation or relationship can end in the way you want. You can't control his behavior [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:54 PM Flag
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Go out on dates with other men. If he calls and asks you out, go out with him, too. If you were dating enough men, you wouldn't notice when one of them faded out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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IME, being upfront about it just makes it worse. It happened to me many times where I was really busy at work for a period of time, and a guy I had been on a few dates would say like "I can tell you're fading! Are you even interested in still seeing me?" And it always came off as very needy and clingy to me and even if I had liked the guy, it would really turn me off. My advice is to slow fade yourself. If he is into you, he'll notice that you're not there, and he'll come back and you won't lose the upper hand. If he doesn't, you'll be well on your way anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:54 PM Flag
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How long have you been dating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:59 PM Flag
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I have done both the slow fade right back and also asked. I was dating a guy who came on so strong, then faded. I asked him if something was wrong and he said he was just busy but also wasn't ready to date. We never spoke again but I knew where I stood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Have a cold past 5days. Hisband is mad i won't go to the Doc. I told him not much he can do beside prescribe antibiotics. I have no fever just feel crappy 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:44 PM Flag
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You're right and he's wrong. Does he do this every time you have a cold? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:46 PM Flag
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Go to the pharmacist and see what they recommend. May be time to change things up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:45 PM Flag
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Five days is not long enough to get over a cold. Antibiotics don't work on colds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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He's a dim bulb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:01 PM Flag
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Do you have blood shot eyes? Could be EBOLA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Zara Home or H&M Home sold in the city? Would love to pick up some stuff for my 20-something niece, but I want to make sure it's not total crap first. TIA. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:30 PM Flag
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not zara, but H&M on 5th ave has home stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:32 PM Flag
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TY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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NP - I love home goods on the UWS too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:36 PM Flag
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The one up at 100th, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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yes ma'am! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:40 PM Flag
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Love that one too! Good idea! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Re-posting sorry: I have a problem where I get angry and yell. I can control it when I step away and cool down but my dh consistently puts me in a situation where I am trapped. For example: Dh takes kids to school. Attendance is very important in MS admissions. We have an agreement that he will be ready to leave by 7:45. I get up, make lunches, make breakfast, take care of the kids and fully get them ready (I WOHM of 3 dcs -10,5,2- years old just for perspective) and in all this time my DH is still in a shower. I find out it is 7:50 and he is still naked in the bathroom and I fly off the handle. This has happened multiple times this year. What do I do? 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:30 PM Flag
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You take the MS kid to school, leave DH to get the other two ready and out the door. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:32 PM Flag
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Older dc's school is 40 minute walk. I can take older dc but it means he will sleep 20 minutes less, it also means my dh will be late for work because he will take 4x longer to get younger kids ready and I will be out of the house and will not be able to help. I suppose I can do this but he may not agree to this due to meetings etc. He drives them so it takes him less time when I get everyone ready and he just focuses on himself. I guess you are right, it is just so impractical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:36 PM Flag
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I would do it for a week or so, until he figures out how to get ready faster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:44 PM Flag
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Or have the talk suggested below, and suggest as a solution that you will take DC to school on foot. Then do it. He will get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:44 PM Flag
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Don't wait for him to "agree" to it. Tell him it's the way it is, and leave with MSer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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I agree. Lateness at that age can have serious repercussions. Do what you have to do. And don't get mad about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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40 minute walk? IS that a typo? You do that every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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It is not a type. It takes dh a lot less time because he drives. It takes him 40 minutes to drop off all 3 kids at 3 different places while it would take older dc and I 40 minutes to walk to his school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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^ not a typo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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*older DC and me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:43 PM Flag
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Putting aside the fact that DH is not helpful in the mornings, could you afford a driver/private bus for one or all of your kids? I know that doesn't solve the root problem, but could ease things in the mornings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:40 PM Flag
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omg take him yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:41 PM Flag
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OR: If you taking the oldest would mess up everyone's schedules, have a calm, reasonable talk in the evening with your DH about the importance of attendance in MS admissions and the consequences of 5 or more "lates." This is not preschool - middle school is the chokepoint of NYC schools and you can't afford to mess this up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:41 PM Flag
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I have had multiple discussions with him. This is why we made an agreement that he will be ready at 7:45. He consistently breaks his promise. This isn't an excuse for me to yell, scream and go nuts though. I just feel so out of control and helpless. And no, we can not afford a driver. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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It does give you some excuse, because you are thinking in the long term -- your DC's middle school/high school/college/life options. And he is thinking short term: so what if he misses 2 minutes of homeroom. If he can't play the NYC game (which is TERRIBLE), then you have to move to the suburbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:59 PM Flag
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set all clocks 15 minutes early. DH needs to wake up 30 minutes earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:45 PM Flag
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He just takes any amount of time and drains it. If he has 45 minutes he will shower for that long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:48 PM Flag
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then agree with others who say take older child yourself. let DH fend for himself with 2 younger kids. serves him right if he's now the one late for work! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Does your husband feel bad or does he think he has the right to putter around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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He feels very angry with me for yelling. I do go nuts and it is inexcusable. He feels no responsibility however in the issue. His excuse is that they still managed to be on time today. Of-course if I didn't start yelling at 7:50 he would not leave until after 8 and they would 100% be late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:49 PM Flag
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Why don't you let him be late? And then have all school correspondence go to him? Would this really hurt DC in school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:54 PM Flag
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yes, MS takes attendance into account during admissions. We would have to sell our apartment and move the suburbs which with 3 kids would likely mean I would have to SAHM which would mean more than 1/2 of our HHI will be gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:05 PM Flag
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Of course you go nuts, your child's education is at stake. He's pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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Set his clock 15 minutes earlier or tell him he needs to leave by 7:30am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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7:45 is already a little bit earlier and 7:50 is still enough time. He is not a child who can be fulled. He knows how long it takes. He will simply not agree to an earlier time. He agreed to 7:45 as a compromise but he is not keeping his word. I still need to not scream and yell. That is what I need to stop doing but I don't know how as I can not remove the trigger. When I am under a lot of stress or feel completely helpless to do anything about an important situation I become very frustrated. When I know my dh could have easily avoided it simply by taking less time in the shower I fly off the handle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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Sounds like he is disregarding the compromise and just going with his preferred time. Does he value the effect it has on MS admissions or not really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
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He makes excuses. Today he said that dc does such poor job on math hw that he stands no chance at good MS. Dc scored 4.5 in 3rd and 4th state tests on Math to give you perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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^^ but yes, dc's hw was sloppy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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If he consistently shows that he doesn't care about the academic implications of your oldest being late al l the time, you will have to take him yourself. If DH has meetings, he can plan to get up earlier like a grown up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:49 PM Flag
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DH here. I'm in the same boat. Sorry, but I really don't give a shit about getting the kids to school on time; I have much more important things to worry about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:51 PM Flag
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Like taking a 45 minute shower? Doesn't sound like OP's DH is doing anything important in the morning and is just fucking with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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Or jerking off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:00 PM Flag
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Perhaps you make enough to pay for private school and thus will not have to change your life completely next year when your dc has no Middle school options. What are the more important things in your case? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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^^ also, for your perspective, I make more than DH and the only big responsibility he has is the morning drop off. He stays at work as late as he wants on weekdays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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So you don't care if your DC can't go to the best middle School for them? What's more important? A great shave? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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DH here. Frankly, that's right. Both my wife and I are the product of public schools. If they were good enough for us, they're good enough for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:01 PM Flag
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So you're being passive aggressive. Like OPs husband. Why don't you just tell your DW that the regular public school will be fine by you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:02 PM Flag
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I've told her time and again. HER drama, not mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:06 PM Flag
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This. There is a reason behind your behavior. Just put it out there front and center and have the conversation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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OP: we are talking about public middle schools. We are in D3. There are 3 good schools and these schools only take 1st choice and so if we don't get 1 we rank 1st choice we will get a horrible public middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:09 PM Flag
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So you don't care if it affects the child's academic prospects? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
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DH here. See above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:01 PM Flag
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I think she's talking about public middle schools in manhattan which are competitive and which take attendance into consideration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:04 PM Flag
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A school is a school, as far as I'm concerned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any books or resources you would recommend? DH can be mean and is pretty cavalier about divorce. Throws it out there easily as in - if you don't like it you can divorce me or you annoy me I'm thinking of divorce. He spends time on himself while I take care of nearly all things and then bithes over the one or two things not done. He complains about things without making any effort himself. I'd like to be able to give him a book or provide a resource about marriage and that it requires respect and work and also that when you have kids you really should try your best to make it work before calling it quits. Thanks very much!! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:25 PM Flag
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Were his parents divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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Yes. Divorced when he was a teen. And his father is mean and not in his life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:32 PM Flag
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And his mom has not had a relationship since. Doesn't seem to keep friends for long either except for one maybe two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:33 PM Flag
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Were his parents divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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With his attitude, do you really think he will even read a book, much less take it seriously? You need to go see a lawyer and lay out a plan of exactly what a divorce would look like for the two of you, including the financial repercussions and the changes in his life when he is a single parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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I do think he'd read a book. When I discuss marriage counseling he says he doesn't care enough to implement any changes. I think he will not enjoy the financial repercussions but he says that he wants to have the kids all to himself every other weekend. He says that I'm too uptight (because I tell him he actually has to watch the kids when we are out in crowded areas - he just walks away and assumes a 4 YO will follow him - and yes he's lost them before) and that he will enjoy spending time with the kids without me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:43 PM Flag
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The first thing he has to know is that he will not just get play time with the kids on the weekends. You have to make sure he understands that he will have them on school days, too, and will be responsible for getting the to school in the morning and arranging for their afterschool care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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He'll just hire someone. When he was bitching at me about not getting something done, I asked where the time should come from (and he could do it just as easily as me and also he'd been sitting on the couch watching TV). He told me I should hire a babysitter. I said I WOHM FT and I don't want to do that. That I want to spend time with my kids. He things we should get evening and weekend babysitters ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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If you both work, and you have enough money to hire help, hire someone. Hire someone to run errands during the week and clean the apartment, so you can both relax and play with the kids all weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:57 PM Flag
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This. He has an old-fashioned view of custody and is envisioning 12 bachelor days and 2 child play days. Acquaint him with the reality that it will be 50/50 (don't offer to take more at this point) and you may see a change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:59 PM Flag
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Really try to get him into couples therapy with you. Also, if he wants more time with the kids, see if you can plan it that way for a few weekends. You have the kids to do what ever you want with on Saturday, and he does the same on Sunday. You will need to be up and out by 9 am, so that he does have the whole day--including meal prep etc. I would plan a bunch of things with friends, exercise, movie, etc. Sometimes having the responsibility really does help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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Any suggestion on how to find a good couples therapist? I guess I could try that with the kids but I'm not a huge fan. I WOHM FT and the weekends are the only time I really get to spend with them. I hate to give up that time. I don't understand why we can't just do stuff as a family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:51 PM Flag
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Wow, he's really thought this through and seems to enjoying the divorced lifestyle in his head. Why do you want to stay with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
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I really do not want to get divorced. I want to have an intact family - for my sake and for the kids (it is not just the kids). I do not want to only see my kids 1/2 of the time (although I recognize the importance for kids to have relationships with both parents so I would agree to liberal visitation for their sake). I want to have a loving partner and a loving, kind, respectful relationship. We are married and have kids. I think we should do everything in our power to try to make that relationship work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:00 PM Flag
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Sorry but he is not going to turn into what you want just because you want it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:05 PM Flag
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Your heart is in the wrong place and you have the moral high ground but the mistake here was marrying a child of divorce. He does not bring the same expectations and level of commitment to the marriage that you do. That will never change. So if you want the intact marriage, you are going to have to suffer his meanness. At some point you have to consider if it's worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:06 PM Flag
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People imitate what they grew up with. Behaving selfishly and evolving towards divorce is the natural.order of things for him. My sympathies, my DH is the same way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Survey: Would you consider a man who is attracted to a transwoman to be gay? (I'm thinking someone who identifies/appears as a woman and has a penis.) How about a man who is attracted to a transman? (Here I'm thinking of a someone who identifies/appears as a man, has a vagina, and has had top surgery.) 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:25 PM Flag
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Gender and sexuality are no longer considered binary. Did you read the NYTMag article on transgender students in women's colleges? It was really interesting about the complexities of the issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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NP: That article was fascinating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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He would be pansexual, IMHO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] How did you find your newborn's nanny? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Friend of a friend - I let everyone I knew know that I was lookin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Same. Ten years ago and she's sti with us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:27 PM Flag
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Do you give her annual raises? I'm not sure what to start off paying the nanny considering I think I would have to give an annual raise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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Yes, like $1/hr, and then bigger increase when went to 2nd child, but then held steady once 1st child started preschool. My nanny was a referral from a friend, so I was able to check with friend what she paid her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:48 PM Flag
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Hired a friend of a friend's nanny who came highly recommended. She was terrible. Fired after 1 week. Hired a woman through the classifieds at work. Give yourself time before returning to work to make sure they are a fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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Did you like the woman who came through the classifieds? I am thinking of using Care.com but am worried about hiring a "stranger". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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She was fine for a while but ultimately we replaced her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:37 PM Flag
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PP here. I have used care.com / sittercity.com and found a fantastic nanny there. Watch out though because I saw another woman on there who's references were her friends. Make sure that the references seem legit. Get addresses and make sure they add up and that the person you're talking to sounds like you'd expect. For example if she says that the Mom is English you'd expect an English accent. Ask the people if they'd hire her again. Make sure to run a background check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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Agree, I also hired from care.com and looked for ones with best references already online or ready to give me references I could check. Found great nanny, did background check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:49 PM Flag
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Also how much time should I shadow her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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This is a hard one. You want to enjoy the time with your baby before you go back to work but you also want the help there in case you need to make a change. I would say give yourself at least two weeks. Have someone that you like as a back up. I've had trials where I loved the person and it was awful. But also understand that some transition and adjustment is to be expected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:40 PM Flag
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PP my suggestion is to look for someone with an upbeat and happy attitude (it it awful to open the door to sullen and morose every day) and they will be happy and upbeat with your kid(s). Look for someone who has a can do attitute - someone who will say yes to running the errand rather than it's not my job. Not that you'll have a lot but you want someone who is willing to help your family run smoothly. Make a list of job duties and include everything (otherwise you will hear it's not my job) and say that job duties will change as kids get older / go to school and there's more free time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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PP my suggestion is to look for someone with an upbeat and happy attitude (it it awful to open the door to sullen and morose every day) and they will be happy and upbeat with your kid(s). Look for someone who has a can do attitute - someone who will say yes to running the errand rather than it's not my job. Not that you'll have a lot but you want someone who is willing to help your family run smoothly. Make a list of job duties and include everything (otherwise you will hear it's not my job) and say that job duties will change as kids get older / go to school and there's more free time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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Asked in Hispanic business and they referred me to an excellent and experienced nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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Do you hired an illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:36 PM Flag
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^^so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:36 PM Flag
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^ Not OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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Pavillion agency. Found an AMAZING woman (American, early 20's, 6 credits shy of her degree in early childhood education, just moved to NYC with her husband who was transferred here). She stayed with us until she had her own kids. Still very close to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
[ - ] UB lesson: you can't be anti Semitic but you can hate Catholics, Hispanics and Blacks 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:22 PM Flag
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Plot Twist: I'm a Hispanic Catholic that is against antisemitism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:27 PM Flag
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Me too! And I married an older man with no money - I pretty much just come here because I'm a masochist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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Haha! Are you a stepmom too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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Luckily no - DH wasn't married before. Oh, and I was never an OW. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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Funny. Black Catholic mom here who attended a mostly Jewish elementary school. I have absolutely no problem with Jewish people in fact throughout my life I have received a lot of help (professionally, academically etc.) from Jewish people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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Pretty much. As a Catholic I've been insulted many times on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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It is the jews right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:27 PM Flag
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Jewish here and I don't hate Catholics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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No it's not the Jews. Everyone likes to hate the Catholics [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:32 PM Flag
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There you go, OP. Your statement has been confirmed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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OR - I'm not sure who it is because they don't identify before a comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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Doubt it. More like liberal non - religious whites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:36 PM Flag
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Everybody has been insulted here ...it's part of the branding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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But you can't criticize Obama ( then you're racist) or Anything Jewish ( then you're anti Semitic) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:44 PM Flag
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Yes, but both occur somewhat regularly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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Are you saying it is the Jews who hate Catholics, Hispanics, and Blacks? I don't believe this to be true and thus I don't understand your point. Of coruse it is not ok for any type of hate but your argument is total nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:42 PM Flag
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^ I am sure some Jews do and some do not. I am trying to say that your argument would only make sense if only the Jews where guild of hate. Given the number of anti-semitic posts on UB clearly the Jews get their fair share of slander here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:43 PM Flag
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No. I am saying there are certain things that are ok to criticize on UB. And other things you can't touch (Jews and Obama) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:45 PM Flag
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We must be here at different times, because I see this all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:57 PM Flag
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I don't think that's what she's saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:53 PM Flag
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I converted to Catholicism when I married. UB hates me even more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:57 PM Flag
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Right, that's why there are weekly posts about how hitler was right, and tons of posters write comments in agreement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your husband's worst qualities? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:21 PM Flag
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He's not spontaneous! I like that he's organized, but he's definitely a list maker and a task master. 11-year-old DC casually referred to him as "Mr. No Fun" behind his back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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Don't allow that. Disrespectful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:28 PM Flag
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Trust me, I shut that BS down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:30 PM Flag
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To your son, I'd rattle off a list of things your husband does well, like providing for a family, getting the bills paid, being responsible and whatever. Show what a great role model he is in important areas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:52 PM Flag
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Doesnt know how to fix anything, isn't willing to learn. (Luckily I know how to fix everything!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Then it's okay! You complement each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:28 PM Flag
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not driven at all- has lots of "ideas". but just all talk and no action- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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that sounds like me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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not organized AT ALL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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He's mean and negative. Almost every single thing is met with negativity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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Nothing serious. Although he does tailgate sometimes, which makes me nervous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:33 PM Flag
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Not physically affectionate, emotionally distant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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Very passive, non-confrontational, not driven. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:37 PM Flag
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^^and too low of a sex drive, doesn't "flirt" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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Has a temper, can be quite selfish. Very affectionate with me but not as affectionate with dcs as I would like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:47 PM Flag
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He cheats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:55 PM Flag
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Procrastination. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:58 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your husband's best qualities? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:20 PM Flag
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Gorgeous face, great body, high sex drive, high IQ, and cute ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:20 PM Flag
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^Also, he's very witty, can make people laugh in a way I never could. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:21 PM Flag
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A great ass goes a long way. I have been married for ten years and I still marvel at dh's ass. I could bounce a quarter off that thing. Yum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:41 PM Flag
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he's very patient with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:21 PM Flag
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he doesn't have any... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:21 PM Flag
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Married to you? Gee, wonder why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:42 PM Flag
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smart, funny, good-looking, and kind [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:22 PM Flag
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Kindness, comfort with each of us taking time alone for ourselves, great sense of witty humor, excellent family man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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^^^DOES THE LAUNDRY!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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he loves me, makes breakfast, helps with clean up :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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He is kind and almost always happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:26 PM Flag
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He's smart, good-looking, and highly ambitious. I latched onto him because he was the best-looking guy who ever looked twice at me, and I knew he was going to be successful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Also, he's good at oral! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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that's always a plus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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The first time I had a meltdown and started crying in front of him, he scooped me up and just held me while I cried. No one had ever done that for me before; I think that was the moment I fell in love with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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He loves me more than anything in the world, always has for some unknown reason. I'm nothing special but he's handsome, kind, gentle, smart, funny. Everybody loves him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Hey, I'm the poster above you. I feel the same way. I wish you the best! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:27 PM Flag
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He's adventurous, funny, intelligent, open-minded, handsome, ambitious, open and honest with me, always interested in what I have to say, willing to compromise to make our partnership better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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Patient. Stuck with me during my substance abuse problem and recovery. Supports me on my various professional ventures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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Extremely giving, loving, kind, handsome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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Doesn't leave me because he's going to be poor. Knows that I know that he cheats and says nothing, pretends he doesn't. let's me do what I want. still handsome, I'm fat and he says nothing (to me). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:51 PM Flag
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Wonderful sense of humor, self deprecating, smart, adores me, still makes me swoon after 22 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What happened to Renee Zellweger's face? No, really, what happened to it??? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:19 PM Flag
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Are you always this mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:20 PM Flag
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It is a little mean .... but why is always so scrunched up? And why is that considered attractive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Too much botox and fillers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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X2 plus potentially a bad facelift [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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Holly cow... I just looked her up. I couldn't recognize her. Scary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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She is completely unrecognizable. WTF? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:38 PM Flag
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Why does she look like Nicolette Sheridan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:01 PM Flag
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Ns used to be so pretty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Didn't prep DC for Standord Binet V. DIdn't know it is possible. Are we in trouble? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:19 PM Flag
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Only if the DC isn't naturally very smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:20 PM Flag
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He is but I don't know if he is Hunter level/genius if that is what it is. I guess either he is or he isn't - I just hate for him to be at a disadvantage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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it'll be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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Thank you! Such a long shot anyway. Like winning the lottery., [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:23 PM Flag
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at that age, reading comprehension and prepping plays a huge part in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:26 PM Flag
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reading comprehensioN?? This is not on the sbv, sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:03 PM Flag
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Didn't prep my kid and he did great. Didn't get in 2nd round, but that's a different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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Then he didn't do "great". If he got close, then prepping would have definitely made a difference. You did dc a disservice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:48 PM Flag
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If DC is smart, they'll do well, if they're not, prepping would only put them in a situation where they would fail later on. You did the right thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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I didn't prep my kid. I just would not do that -- don't get caught up in this madness to the point where you find yourself prepping your 4 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 02:48 PM Flag
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it's such bullshit, but EVERYBODY preps. Most everyone lies about doing it, though. The trick is to do it and not get caught. The ones who make it to R2 are the ones who prepped, definitely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:04 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.21.14, 03:07 PM Flag
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