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[ - ] Today is the first day I felt that it was worth moving to the burbs for a big backyard. DC planted seeds and generally hung out in the backyard while I read on a lounge chair. Then she brought out her kindle and snack and we read in harmony :-) 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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You will love the summer. You will love being able to have birthday parties at your house. You will love being able to have holiday meals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] I made friends with a mom at school. I liked her and ignored the warning signs that she is insecure and judgmental and competitive vis a vis her DC. (She is also charming.) She's also married to a total user/cheater. Once all of this hit me, I started doing 'the fade" but now this is making her very angry and she's bad mouthing me. How to handle? Just smile and nod, right? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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What is she saying about you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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No one is saying exactly what, but they are hinting that she is bad mouthing me. Our mutual friends are very nice and not into games. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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If they're "hinting" such that you can say she's bad-mouthing you, I suggest you speak to one of the moms one on one and find out what's being said. Go from there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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That's not going to happen. No one is going to spill. We are all friends because of our kids and do many things together and are light and fun. I think no one has interest in getting involved with spats. The one mom who dishes most said that the mom is jealous/competitive of her DD with my DD. She's said, I don't want to tell you what she's said but I would avoid this person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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So, she's tell YOU to avoid the woman, but she's friends with her? Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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Yes. Apparently she is not threatened by opposite-gender DCs. It's the same-gender DCs in our class that bend her out of shape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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np Take one of them out to lunch and ask her to level with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Yes. Whether you should smile and nod really depends on what she's saying. You have terrible highlights? Smile and nod. Your dh is messing around with half the neighborhood? Different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Don't worry. They already know she's nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] DH says my snoring has forced him to sleep on the couch almost every night. He videotaped me and I snore very loudly, it is almost embarrassing. It is no wonder I feel tired and groggy during the day, I think I have a mild form of sleep apnea. I dont need to go to a sleep study to know I probably need a C-PAP machine. Where can I get one? How much do they cost? Can I just order them from Amazon or some medical supplier? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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Are you overweight? I am not even technically overweight (5-3 and 115) and I've begun to snore and actually woke myself up last night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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My DH just went through this process. They cost $1,000. Insurance will cover it if you go to the sleep lab for a night and have the sleep doctor prescribe you the mask. Just go to the lab. It's only one night and it's sort of like a hotel. DH enjoyed it. You will feel so much better once you get the mask. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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Np: my mom got one and it has helped her tremendously. She did the sleep study and medicare paid for the machine. I think the sleep study was covered by insurance too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Do I invite our nanny to dc''s (3rd) birthday party? First time we're doing a real party for him. Love our nanny but (i) does she really want to come into manhattan for this on a day off and (ii) would probably just rather her not there to avoid any awkwardness. Does she feel excluded though if we don't mention it to her and invite. But if we invite she probably feels compelled to come?? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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Give her the choice - tell her you are having a party and wanted to let her know, but totally understand that it is her day off and she probably has stuff to do. If she wants to be there she will come. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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Why don't you just ask her instead of going over a million questions and overanalysis in your head? I would invite our nanny, but we don't know yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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invite her but tell her you completely understand if she doesn't come. tell her you'll save a big piece of cake for her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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I wouldn't invite her for the reasons you mentioned. (I bet she doesn't want to come and will feel awkward refusing.) This is a social function, not a professional one, and I have always been an advocate of keeping my relationship with my nanny professional. I never wanted an employee to feel like "part of the family." I know there is a vocal contingent here who feels differently, but it's asking for trouble in my book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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I always invited our nanny but her kids were close in age to mine, they knew each other, and enjoyed coming to the parties. I'd just ask her but say you don't expect her to make a special trip if she has other plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Any md moms on? I am going crazy. We have been worried about dds growth and looking pale. Went to endocrynologist and the blood work came back today and everything is ok but the tissue transglutaminase antibody is high (29) norm is under 19. Made an apt to gastro md but they don't have anything before May. So so worried 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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may is next week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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end of may is when their first apt is available. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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could be celiac. what is most annoying about this process is that until your formal dx they encourage you to not change diet so that tests aren't fooled. gl to your daughter, it's occasionally annoying but life isn't so bad. asian and latin american cooking are great, if she likes cheesy, bready things look up a recipe for traditional Pão de Queijo! (not md but have celiac.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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What does that even mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone knows how to interpret dreams? i had a dream about seeing bunch of $5 dollar and $2 dollar bills in my bag. I have never seen a $2 bill in real life. What does this mean? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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I've seen plenty of $2 bills. Amazed you haven't seen any. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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OP:I have seen it in pix but not in real life. Do they still have them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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They are rare, but I saw one a few months ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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Hahaha. I did something mean once. I had a $2 bill. I told my son when he was about 5 that it was worth about a thousand dollars, and that if he was good all the way up until he was 12 years old I would give him the $2 bill. He would ask about it after that and I would just say I still had it (which I did). Sure as hell, when he turned 12 he remembered about the $2 bill even when I had long since forgotten. I had to backtrack and convince him that he must have remembered what I said incorrectly. He was so crestfallen. I didn't mean to fuck up there, though I probably did …. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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You should have given him 1000 just for remembering! Bad mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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Yes, because you should just give a 12 year old a thousand dollars. OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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That 1K which I would have given him and another 40K are already in his college fund. Also, who said he was "good" all those years??! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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It means you went into an REM sleep. Duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] the guy I thought I had been waiting for my whole life turned out to be a total fraud. The only bright side is, at least I found out BEFORE I married this idiot. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. What did he do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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left out of nowhere. Been together two years. Pulled a "slow fade" as if we had been dating 2 months. Makes no sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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OMG I'm so sorry, that sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Were you engaged? Also, he sounds like an ass but not necessarily a fraud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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What happened to make you feel this way? I have been with my boyfriend for many years and in my presence he is wonderful. But he is very, EXCESSIVELY secretive and sneaky with his phone and computer, so I snooped, and I found out that he talks to his friends CONSTANTLY as if I don't exist (going out to parties to meet girls, "jokes" about hooking up with them, keeping in touch with girls he meets on trips) and he goes to strip clubs CONSTANTLY. Like, all the time. And behaves very badly at the strip clubs. My world has been turned upside down and I feel like I don't know the person I thought I knew very well at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Why is this man still your boyfriend? You enjoy being a doormat??? This behavior isn't going to change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:21 PM Flag
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is he married with a family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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That sucks, and I'm sorry. but two years isn't 20 years. How old are you? You will move on and be okay. You're better off without him. Imagine if he had left after you guys had kids together [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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What were the 2 years like before he faded out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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In retrospect, were there signs that you missed or minimized or chose to ignore? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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how can someone pull a slow fade after dating for 2 years? Seriously, I think you need to have a serious talk with him. Did he ever bring up engagement or marriage? Were you engaged? What exactly is he doing that makes you doubt his committment? Is he just afraid of marriage/commitment? Is there someone else int he picture? As an adult, people talk about this - dont come here and expect us to know the answers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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I don't think you understand what a "slow fade" is...He isn't returning her calls...Engagement/marriage isn't even in the radar. She is would just like to know what dark hole he hopefully fell into so she can piss in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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he cheated or met someone else, right? You might not know it yet, but i bet that's what happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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That doesn;t make it ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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he would still be an asshole if he sat you down after 2 years and was like, "I'm sorry. I met someone. I'm breaking up with you." There's no nice way to end things and you would have been heartbroken by that too. The slow fade is a technique to make you hate him and want him gone--while avoiding actual confrontation. It's not a horrible choice as much as people complain about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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were you living together? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some signs that dc is stressed and the stress is caused by school? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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Pretends to be sick, doesn't want to go [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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They don't want to go to school. That's the big one. They come down with reasons not to go to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:24 PM Flag
[ - ] DD's bday party is this weekend. Sent out invites almost a month ago. Will be a small party in our home of about 10 children including birthday girl and sibling. Already confirmed headcount with instructor I hired to lead activities. Just now received email from mother of an invited child (who never replied in any form to the online invite or the email I sent the other day to follow up). She just asked if she could let me know this evening as she's still trying to sort out her weekend travel plans and whether or not her dd will be back in time for party. RSVP date was over a week ago. Said her child really doesn't want to miss my dd's bday etc. and asked if it's okay if she lets me know this evening. Am I wrong for being pissed? I told her she could let me know tonight, but really, why do some people think it's okay to be so rude? The party package I purchased is for up to 10 children and now this 11th child shows, I have to pay an extra $100. As she didn't respond to any prior communications, I invited another child instead. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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It's in your home... so why the extra $? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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OP: I have a party instructor coming to run the party with specific activities in my dd's area of interest. Package includes all supplies and instructor for up to 10 children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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Sorry you didn't tell her that her child was replaced by another due to her non-reply. Had you done so, you wouldn't be stewing now. Always best to be truthful, IMO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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I know but it's not the child's fault her mom is rude. Her dd is one of the girls dd was most adamant about inviting as they apparently are quite friendly at school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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OP: I'm not stewing as much as just wondering why people are so inconsiderate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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This. OP should have just been outright and honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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No, don't put this on the OP. The fault lies with the flake who didn't have the manners to RSVP on time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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+1000. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. No one is "pulling" anything on OP....they were both wrong....the other mom for being a flake and OP for not communicating that she wouldn't put up with said flakiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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I hate when people do this, but in your case, I think the mom can be forgiven for thinking you wouldn't be put out. She didn't know you hired this instructor on a per-child basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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Oh Susie, it'll be nice to see Madison. I have a ten limit child for the instructor, so I'll have to see if she'll take an 11th. Let me know and I'll ask her if this is possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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OP: yes it is possible, for an extra $100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Can you afford the extra $100. If not, it's not possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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The point is to get the other pereson to realize there is a cost involved. I know you already know the answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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That sucks. The mother who couldn't be bothered to reply on time is really rude. This is why there is a date on RSVPs. She's just not a classy person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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Mom was definitely rude, but what sort of activity charges an extra $100 per kid?! I generally see those charges listed at $10-20. If you couldn't handle/afford the overflow cost you probably should have selected another activity or made sure you had a firm head count before inviting the replacement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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I think it's one of those $100 for 1-10 kids, $200 for 11-20 kids deals where they bring along a 2nd person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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OR- gotcha, hadn't come across it...Now if I do I'll be extra careful (from past experience I'd be dealing with something like OP) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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OP: It's $400 for up to 10 kids and $500 for up to 14. I'm not inviting anyone else at this point so I'd be paying $100 for one extra child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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Let the 11th kid show up, don't count heads, and if the instructor does so and counts 11 kids, offer to pay 10% more on the spot for that last kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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I think this is a very dishonest thing to do, but maybe the way to go anyway. One of the kids who RSVPd may not show up after all and you'll have 10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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at least one kid will cancel day before or day of the party or just not show up. don't sweat it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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people who don't rsvp are complete assholes imo. it takes two seconds. this is my pet peeve. so rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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I've had people (with two parents) show up with a sibling, as if one parent couldn't have stayed home. I simply don't understand it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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This happened to me recently. TWO families showed up with a sibling and an extra parent. The good thing is, the venue chose not to charge us for the extra kids. They easily could have. I was so impressed with that "generosity" that I will always recommend this place and likely use them again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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you are going to wear yourself out. relax. people often don't rsvp even though of course they should. plan stuff that is less rigid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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I actually think that you are overreacting. And I doubt that you would have to pay $100 for this extra child. Having hosted many parties for my dc, I have noticed that many ppl do RSVP in the last minute, some - even the day before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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OP: The party is in less than 48 hours and she still hasn't confirmed one way or the other. The party company was VERY clear in an email that there would be an additional charge if there are more than 10 children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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So now it's YOUR turn to be very clear - with her. I don't understand why you seem to afraid to confront her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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^^too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh is 50. He's gained weight, wants to sleep all the time (and does) and NEVER wants sex. I would be lying if I said I don't sit around and ask myself what I was thinking.... 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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Just turned 37. Not a goldigger....love my dh very much. I just wish he felt up for things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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Imagine 10 years from now. 20. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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OR: I don't doubt you're not a gold digger. I'm dating someone who is nearing 50, and I'm younger than you. I adore him, but the situation you just described weighs on my mind constantly. (He's not like that yet, but I wonder how I will feel when he is). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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Are you the 24yo dating the 48yo? If so I remember you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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That's me! (But as of next week, I'll be 25, so, you know, getting old :) ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Is he depressed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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consult endocrinologist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Low T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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We have been to our primary care dr, who said that testosterone, as a treatment, is dangerous and she doesn't like it. She wouldn't even test his level! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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see a specialist who is current on the research [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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symptoms of diabetes. Your doc (young ??) should be monitoring at his age and weight gain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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He can barely stay awake after he eats a meal - it's almost like someone put a tranquilizer dart in him and he can't keep his eyes open. I wonder if that's a symptom of diabetes. To the dr I will make him go.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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NP - he should get checked out. 50 is too young to be like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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OP...agreed...thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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Unless he gets up really early, or dinner is late, or is drinking a lot, he should see a doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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No to all of those. Thanks for the advice....I'm dragging him into the dr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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i'm practically 50 and i don't act this way, he needs to see a doc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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