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[ - ] S/O of the post with woman who thinks she's found a picture of her DH's abs on Craigslist. Who are you women who couldn't definitively ID your husband based on just that evidence? Whether it is just the back of his head, feet, hands or teeth, I could pick my husband out a mile away. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:55 PM Flag
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To be fair, trolls all look very similar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:58 PM Flag
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Meaning? I was shocked by the number of replies telling her she was crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:01 AM Flag
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There are a ton of teen and 20something boys on this board. and really crazy girls from smaller towns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:05 AM Flag
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I agree but in the totally wacky circumstances op described I can see second guessing... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:02 AM Flag
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I've been cheated on. The crazy self-doubt she describes is all too familiar ... the step between the denials and the final proof. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:05 AM Flag
[ - ] What's wrong with me? Tonight I went to pick up the pizza, asked for a can of coke, dug around in my change purse for the right change, paid the bill, picked up the pizza and walked out the door leaving the coke behind. One hour later I remembered I had paid for the coke and forgot it. I do stuff like this very frequently. Is anyone like me? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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But often? I am forgetful like this probably 3 times per week. It's embarrassing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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What does your intuition say? Are you stressed, tired, just have a big change or other health problem or is it actually worrisome? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:43 PM Flag
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Oh God yes. Sometimes I worry that it's early dementia or something really terrible, but dh insists it's just trying to multitask and not getting enough sleep. I dunno... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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I hope this is my case too. I had both dcs with me and was worried about putting the pizza on top of the stroller, because last time I did that, it fell on the ground. I am annoyed with myself because the words "I want a coke" came out of my mouth and I completely forgot it two minutes later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:43 PM Flag
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I do it all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:46 PM Flag
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I replied above but after seeing this I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. Undo this stuff constantly. It's really ridiculous... Just went looking for a bag that I already loaded in the car [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:47 PM Flag
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Oh well, you didn't mention you had the stroller and 2 DC's with you. If you got out of these with a pizza, you're a winner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:48 PM Flag
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^ there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:54 PM Flag
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Yes. I splurged on wrapping paper, long rolls so it was an odd size bag and I knew I would put it down somewhere and forget it. I reminded myself and still did it. At least someone else found a nice holiday surprise :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:41 PM Flag
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Once a month dd's entire first year I went grocery shopping without my wallet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:42 PM Flag
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Life is just way too loaded down with micro and macro tasks for mothers these days. If it's not a routine I do every day without fail, I will risk forgetting something, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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you are me. I think having kids, all those sleepless nights, causes brain damage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:45 PM Flag
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op: I think so. 2 yo still doesn't sleep through the night. It's a brief interruption every night (10-15 minutes), but it still affects my sleep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
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that'll do it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:03 AM Flag
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I think the solution is to "routinize" every single thing you can, and in "out of routine" circumstances, look around you before you leave the table at the restaurant, ask your kids to remind you to look before you leave, etc. Build in fail-safes as much as possible. But still count on forgetting frequently. I won't call it mommy brain because there are people here who object to any word that ends with a "y". But that's what it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
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I did a huge, late night, whole house cleanup before ILs show up and I still can't find half the stuff I thought I'd stashed in a closet. Hope I didn't throw it out by mistake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:53 PM Flag
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You are just tired. Someone told me that dementia is not forgetting where the car keys are, it's forgetting what the car keys do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:57 PM Flag
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Phew! I'm not demented yet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Dh just came home and I went in dd's room and shut the door, pretending to be taking a nap with her so I don't have to deal with him... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:35 PM Flag
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My husband did that - avoided dealing with me and our problems. I am divorcing him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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I want to divorce him. Just too tired today... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there more rape on campuses because the prevalence and ubiquity of porn has desensitized the young men to the fact that women are people too? Of course it is a multifaceted issue, but do you think this is a contributor? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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Yes, but be prepared to be attacked by the Brooklyn sex-positive crowd who believe that all porn is perfectly harmless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:31 PM Flag
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I think one factor is that the higher drinking age has driven drinking off campus and into private homes/fraternities where there is no adult supervision. College kids used to drink beer at mixers, with faculty present. Now no one associated with the school can be present where alcohol is being served to underage kids, so teenagers with no idea of their own limits end up getting wasted on hard alcohol in a building with lots of private nooks and crannies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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completely agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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^Also, the sexual revolution puts admin in a really weird spot. Women are empowered to take control of their own sexuality and interfering would be paternalistic, but drunk kids make horrible choices and put themselves at horrible risk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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I would never want to have that kind of job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:38 PM Flag
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If they're getting raped frequently, they're not "empowered" at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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agree. imo a lot of this "progress" has benefited men much more than women - surprise, surprise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:42 PM Flag
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yeah. it's ridiculous that warning women about rape is considered paternalistic interfering. so now enabling men to commit rape is considered feminist and sex-positive. i can't believe how stupid most sex-pozzie feminists are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:43 PM Flag
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Just shut the fuck up, dude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:49 PM Flag
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No, asshole. You get the fuck out of here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:48 PM Flag
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I personally think it is because more women are coming out - in the 80's no one spoke up, myself included [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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Yes!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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What evidence is there that there's actually more rape on campus? Maybe the redefinition of rape to include sex that the woman regrets the next morning is what's causing the increase in campus newspapers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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You may be right. The data on all of this is very unreliable! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:41 PM Flag
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There was a study released recently that polled male college students, and a small percentage reported admitted raping multiple women. I think the current thinking is that the "drunken misunderstanding" scenario or "every guy is a rapist" scenarios are inaccurate, but that there is a small # of predators who are able to get away with it multiple times because the modern college campus provides ideal hunting grounds. And they admitted to going about it very cold-bloodedly and with advance planning, it wasn't a "fooling around and couldn't stop" impulse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
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I'd like to know if there are actually is more rape or if women are more comfortable coming forward now. In my college in the 80s, there were two brothers who were notorious predators on drunk girls. A friend of mine was raped by someone else who had been (she thought) a friend of hers. Nobody went to the police or to the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:43 PM Flag
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this really may be the case. People speak up now (sometimes) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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As well they should. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:53 PM Flag
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I'm sure there is more rape than there was in our parents' generation, at least, if only because there used to be much stricter rules about chaperones, men in women's rooms, curfews, etc. Not that I want any of that stuff, but if all your partying is done in a group, the only time you're alone with a guy is when you're on an official date, and you have to check in relatively sober at a set time ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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I doubt that. The good old days were not that great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:05 AM Flag
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I think that's one factor. And we've become an acting-out society. Sometimes a bit of repression is good for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
[ - ] I've seen it mentioned that single women actually think if they have a high income, it makes them more attractive to men. As a man, I don't think this is the case. Perhaps a woman who comes from a wealthy family, but it would seem to be quite a loser-ish kind of man who is attracted to a woman for her paycheck. I guess more money is better than less, but shit, I'd take looks and personality (and brains are a part of that) over paycheck size anyday of the week. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:27 PM Flag
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what do you think of tina fey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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she's funny... not really "hot"... arguably beautiful but kind of old... not someone to fantasize about but definitely someone to hang out with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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i thought all guys just loved her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:35 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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DH here with a wife who's a corp. officer at an S&P 500 company. What utter bullshit. I wasn't attracted to her for her paycheck since we met at business school, but I'm happy that we've both done well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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I don't think that's at odds with what OP is saying though. He's saying if your wife were the exact same person, but had focused that same career drive and passion on, say, a career in a non-profit, you wouldn't have dumped her for a woman in IB, for example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:48 PM Flag
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I'm not a man, but I've always thought it to be true that most men think the way you do, with the exception being very materialistic women who don't earn enough to cover their own expensive spending habits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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Possibly true that single high income women think so....(most successful women tend o be attractive too!) but there're looking for guys with even higher income ...since income is an indicator of drive, motivation and intelligence and to be compatible they'd need someone with atleast the same level of these qualities....unless of course the man brings something else worthwhile into the relationship... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:50 PM Flag
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But those "even guys with even higher income[s]" don't necessarily care that the high earning women "need" to be with someone on their level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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It's her attitude that attracts - she really doesn't need you and you have to chase her and win her over anway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:01 AM Flag
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I think that looks, personality and brains have a good chance in resulting in earning more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:02 AM Flag
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My wife makes three times what I make. I met her in college and supported her all through med school residency, and fellowship. I don't think I'm a loser - i think I found someone who was on a certain path and figured out that that path would get me where I wanted to be. I'd be a loser if I turned her down because I insisted on making more than her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:05 AM Flag
[ - ] What should I buy my mom? She's 52. A pretty simple person. Any good ideas? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:25 PM Flag
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getting my mom a Clarisonic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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Restaurant or spa gift card [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:35 PM Flag
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Yes. I love getting those. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:53 PM Flag
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An Amazon card, she can buy whatever she wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:43 PM Flag
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She doesn't "get" amazon. She has super walmart. So far I am thinking this weird foot thing she wants (my sister knows what it is), restaurant get cards, and pedicure gift cards. Maybe add one cute thing to each gift card? Like some nail polish or a fancy salt/seasoning? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:06 AM Flag
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LL Bean hanging toiletry bag? Or nice monogrammed tote? My mom has loved these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:41 PM Flag
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Seriously curious: Is this a thing in "flyover"? My mom is in the midwest and want to try not to buy her something I would like, hoping she also likes it, if you know what I mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:05 AM Flag
[ - ] How come the Tony Awards used to be a big deal, but now they aren't? Like in the 80's, the broadcast of the Tony Awards would often win the entire week in terms of ratings. Now, it usually loses its very own broadcast night. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:20 PM Flag
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Because Disney bought broadway and nothing interesting happens anymore. Who wants to watch them give awards to Aladdin? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
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np Or something that came out 50 years ago and just came back for a repeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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Exactly. There is no Sondheim of today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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Well, there is Sondheim himself. He's still alive. Has he written anything new recently? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:35 PM Flag
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He's like 80. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:42 PM Flag
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He's only 84. Jacques Barzun released an 800-page work of historical analysis that was widely praised ("From Dawn to Decadence") when he was 93. Economist Ronald Coase released his last paper at the age of 102. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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Good for them, plenty of 84 year olds retire. Someone else should take up the torch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:00 AM Flag
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I don't mind really good revivals of the classics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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But that isn't original. I love a good revival, but it isn't earth shattering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:42 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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Here's what I wish they would do but probably can't afford to buy the airtime. Show scenes of ALL the nominated shows/performances the night before the awards ceremony (Sat.). They could tape them at the original theater. Call it "Tastes of Broadway." Then you watch the awards the next night (Sun.). They would probably sell a lot of tkts to the shows people liked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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They used to do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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^^ not the promos you see on cable, but complete scenes like you see on the awards show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:28 PM Flag
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They used to do that in the 80's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:31 PM Flag
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bring it back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:33 PM Flag
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People could have "viewing and voting" parties at home, buy a block of tkts online, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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When I saw Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig last year, I was awestruck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Another UVA student killed himself yesterday. The president is in hiding due to threats. The place is a disaster. 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:19 PM Flag
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not like no one saw this coming. I mean frats: 189 - 22 year olds, no adult supervision, tons of alcohol. What could go wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:22 PM Flag
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18 - 22 sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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Suicide? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:22 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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Did you guys see this article? Horrifying. http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/a-rape-on-campus-20141119 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:25 PM Flag
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which may or may not be completely true but apparently many women have had similar experiences [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:24 PM Flag
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Dh started to rush a fraternity there but dropped out when the older "brothers" started joking about date raping women. He said it was really bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:28 PM Flag
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yikes. I feel bad for the boys too in this ridiculous trap that is set for these kids. Which frat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:27 PM Flag
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yes the boys are the real victims here. the girls are just part of the trap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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I did not say that. Please do not twist my words. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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then stop prioritizing boys over girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:33 PM Flag
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Fuck you. I never did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:34 PM Flag
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then stop feeling so bad for the boys. they're the ones committing the rapes. no one's trapping them. it's the girls who are being trapped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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yeah you're right. thanks. Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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I don't know. He was grossed out and left, but the article above says at least one fraternity had pledges gang rape a girl as part of initiation (after the girl in the article came forward, two other girls came forward to say it had happened to them in different years.) If you read the article, I don't think you will feel sorry for the guys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:33 PM Flag
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Her "date" invited her upstairs to talk, then a group of guys jumped her and held her down. The last guy knew her from class and couldn't get it up, they made fun of him and he raped her with a beer bottle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:34 PM Flag
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What the fuck is up with people raping people with bottles? What is the point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:50 PM Flag
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maybe just to humilate her, or to prove his loyalty to the group by participating in the crime, since he couldn't actually rape her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:57 PM Flag
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Yes. So awful. Animals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:57 PM Flag
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"not a single student at UVA has ever been expelled for sexual assault" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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its hard to prove and to prosecute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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They've expelled almost 200 kids for other honor code violations like cheating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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Good point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
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That article doesn't sound especially credible in the details. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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I know. She went way overboard. It makes me a little skeptical - though maybe I shouldn't be. And then today Rolling Stone 'published' a story that is comprised of comments to this story! Some journalistic standards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:34 PM Flag
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You just dont want to believe it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
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Oh wow thank you for reading my mind and knowing things about me I didn't even know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:04 AM Flag
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np In what way? Two women from different classes came forward afterwards to say they had experienced the same thing at the same frat, and some men had multiple accusations against them. And someone threw a bottle at the Jackie of the story after she came forward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:46 PM Flag
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If the victim was actually raped on a bunch of broken glass, she would have looked like a bomb-blast survivor, and there's no way her friends wouldn't have immediately rushed her to the ER. Among other things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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she would not have been able to walk. I know. i wonder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:04 AM Flag
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more proof that having women leaders does not guarantee a safe environment for women. UVA president is a woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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and a legalistic, cowardly one. I admit she is not an insider and not supported from within. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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yes. that really shocked me. I don't know how a woman could sit on these stories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:28 PM Flag
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same way that camille cosby did. women are not each others' automatic allies. some women take this seriously. many don't and just want to hold on to their paychecks and marriages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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not to mention the fact that these are barely women - they are teenagers and not capable of the best judgnents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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The female leaders are full-grown women and they're the ones deciding not to make allegations of multiple gang rapes at specific fraternities public. Even if privacy rules didn't permit them to name the fraternity, they could certainly say there have been allegations and women should use a buddy system or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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Why don't people go to the police? I don't get this. If my daughter told me she was raped we would be at the police station in an hour. I wouldn't even inform campus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Obnoxious or fine to send your kid to preschool in a Yale tshirt? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:16 PM Flag
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It's preschool. Who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
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Prob former [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:15 PM Flag
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I would say more sad, unless you teach there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:19 PM Flag
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Slightly yes obnoxious than a dalton sweatshirt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
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It's the Harvard/Yale game this weekend right? Fine today then. Otherwise obnoxious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
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Fine. A friend gave my dc t-shirts from the no-name U where she teaches, they wear them because they're comfy. If you're not a braggart, the shirt doesn't have to mean anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
[ - ] True story: I had a Cosby experience. I was working for a performing arts series at a university in the late 1990's and he was there for two performances. He totally propositioned me and I blew it off. My now-dh was there. We'd long forgotten it but we've been talking about it this week! 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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what was the proposition? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
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Asked me to join him at his hotel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:16 PM Flag
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I said "no thanks, I have a boyfriend." An ...gesturing to my now dh. The Cos then made a snide remark under his breath. He was a dick! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
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And [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
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What snide remark did he make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
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Don't really remember and it was something muttered anyway. This was 20 yrs ago [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:18 PM Flag
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Here is something else I remember. He'd requested a pizza but didn't like what we brought. I entered his dressing room and he was pitching the pieces, one by one, intoba trash can. He was also mad b/c our University's rules did not permit us to supply him with alcohol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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Sorry! "Into a" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:24 PM Flag
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How disappointing. Cosby is an asshole! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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What did he say exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
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So do you believe the allegations, then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:25 PM Flag
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Definitely. I could totally see it. I was young then, but not that young, and not all that wowed by him. I could totally see younger women getting roped in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:28 PM Flag
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A friend who was around for a private corporate event where he hosted told a similar story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
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Not surprising! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:46 PM Flag
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Does anyone else keep picturing someone else like an older white man who raped younger black women getting away with this for so long? I seriously keep picturing him as an older white man with lots of younger black women accusing him of these same things out of the woodwork. I wonder how many people like Whoopi Goldberg would be like "you just don't know" about it all. It's like Cosby caught the perfect wave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:52 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O: women over 40 who haven't ever been married are super-weird 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:09 PM Flag
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Women over 35 actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:11 PM Flag
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My husband says ditto for men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:11 PM Flag
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I agree. I think the men are much weirder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
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Agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:22 PM Flag
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the ones that have not had children are insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:12 PM Flag
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+1 million. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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yes yes yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:04 AM Flag
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i kinda agree. most people are weird in their own way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
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I know quite a few (academics) and don't think this is accurate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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Yes, it's very misogynist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:15 PM Flag
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Academics are weird in their own right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:20 PM Flag
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I have a handful of truly lovely friends for whom it just never happened. They've had long-term relationships and probably stayed with the commitment-phobic guys too long, but their worst crime was being too loyal or not having high enough self-esteem to leave. Seems like it's very different with men, who typically feel less biological pressure to settle down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:16 PM Flag
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Oh god. It's not biological pressure. It's social and familial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:16 PM Flag
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You don't think women who want to be parents have a shorter timeframe than men? Many, many men become fathers for the first time after 45. Almost no women their age will be able to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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How many men become first-time fathers after 45? I'm genuinely curious. I'm betting it's actually a small number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:24 PM Flag
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My husband did. Not that unusual at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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Sure, it happens. Just wondering how often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:28 PM Flag
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Seems pretty common in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:29 PM Flag
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So not true. And I'm married and weird, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
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The difference between this post and the one about over-40 men being super weird is that society has ALWAYS painted a picture of over-40 single women as being weird, whereas over-40 single men were always thought of as playboys and suave bachelors. As it turns out, most are really strange, some are really not. For both genders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:20 PM Flag
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I think it is weird to be 40 and still live like you are in college. I see a lot more men who do this. Women fix up their place, get a pet, have hobbies. Men still have a mattress on the floor and play video games. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:20 PM Flag
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lol i'm a woman who plays video games. you sound extremely uptight and judgmental. games are a hobby, silly. you're living in the past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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You know what I am saying. Guys who act like Peter Pan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:26 PM Flag
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I totally totally agree. But there are a handful of wonderful women who marry in their early 40s. Over 50 - I could NOT agree more. I work with a 55 year old woman who has never married and she is the angriest person I have ever ever met. Hates kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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There's a reason why there was a card game called Old Maid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:24 PM Flag
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That's me! 44 and never been married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:23 PM Flag
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Just don't reach 50. If you're here on Urban Baby, it's a very very good sign. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:30 PM Flag
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So get married no matter what before 50? I feel like after I reached 40 without being married I was kind of over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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Married/not married doesn't matte. Women who aren't regularly getting laid are just a pain to be around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:36 PM Flag
[ - ] When did you give yourself permission to leave a spouse who refused to address issues (depression, rage) that were affecting the family? I'm afraid anything better than rock bottom would give me a lifetime of regret or at least wondering if I could've done more... any advice would be greatly appreciated 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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If you're asking that question, you're already there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:09 PM Flag
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You're right. If it were just me I'd be gone but we have a dd. After putting up with so much, for so long, it seems like, why now? Like I should have this perfect reason... I'm also struggling because he had a brief moment of really trying, started therapy briefly and things improved, temporarily. Now it's clear I was grasping at straws and our reality is what it is. I can't help but hope he would try again and it would all work out... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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is he actually, really, truly trying again? or are you just trying to avoid feeling guilty because you're going to blame yourself if you do get divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
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He's not currently making any efforts. & yes I will always feel guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:18 PM Flag
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^^he basically just tried once. It was over the summer. I had one foot out the door for years but got my hopes up again and had a brief, lovely week with him. This is what upsets me, he is depressed and I don't want to leave "the old him" who I know is in there and prisoner to the depressed him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:19 PM Flag
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Why will you always feel guilty? It's not your job to rescue him. You can't break him out of his prison. If he doesn't want to get out, it's not on you. You need to look out for your dd here. It's not good for her to be trapped her in her parents' bad marriage and watch her mother keep enabling her dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
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I know... I guess because if I stop caring then no one cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:25 PM Flag
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but you can't be the only one caring. he has to care too. you can't make up for his lack of caring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:27 PM Flag
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He doesn't seem to care at all, he's depressed. He will say I should leave him and that I'm a loser for taking his bullshit. Then he will beg me to stay saying he will have nothing to live for and will end his own life. Then other times he says I'm crazy and manifesting this whole depression of his because I "make him miserable" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:32 PM Flag
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Oh my god. This is just unacceptable. This guy is just gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:33 PM Flag
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This is why I feel like I can't leave! What else can I do? I've already looked into havjng him involuntarily committed to an inpatient facility. Not possible. What else? He will die or I will have to coparent with him, both are worse than the current circumstances [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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He'll be fine. You're overestimating the danger to himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:41 PM Flag
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I hope so. The other thing is that I suspect he plays it up to manipulate me. It's so sick, I wish I had a clear intention but I just don't know what to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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You do. You're just not willing to do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:47 PM Flag
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Ugh. You are so right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:56 PM Flag
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The point at which you have no happy memories to rebuild from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:10 PM Flag
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We've known each other for 12 years. I'm not going to pretend we were never happy... but if I'm the only one who wants to rebuild...what's the point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:15 PM Flag
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Rather agree with first OR. What do want to have happen to confirm? Is it necessary to wait around for something truly awful? The hard part is when the awful comes in dribs and drabs instead of all at once in a shocking way. Either one is crushing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:10 PM Flag
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I basically threatened to leave and so he agreed to go to therapy. He went alone and we went together (twice). The first session he took it all in and really tried to change, the second session I think he wanted a gold star or to be "passed" out of therapy or something and got angry, called it all a crock, stormed out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:17 PM Flag
[ - ] So I just did a major thanksgiving shop on fresh direct for all things that can be delivered in advance and won't go bad. However, a lot of the stuff I need is vegatables, potatoes etc and I need to get right before. Will the stores be a disaster? I tend to go to small vegetable stands, agata Valentina etc. I took Wednesday off from work. What's the best strategy? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:06 PM Flag
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Why can't you order onions, potatoes, and other veggies ahead? They'll last a couple of days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:09 PM Flag
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I have a standing fresh direct order delivered Sunday (OCD DH) do you think potatoes and vegetables will last that long? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:11 PM Flag
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Everything except possibly leafy greens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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Go Tuesday night or first thing Wednesday morning. You could have purchased virtually everything in advance. Celery, potatoes, cranberries, etc all last a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:12 PM Flag
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OP thanks, maybe I'll amend the fresh direct order. Potatoes and brussel sprouts, cauliflower, clearly will be ok Sunday to Wednesday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:15 PM Flag
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Only remotely iffy thing is cauliflower, but as long as it's really fresh I think you will be absolutely fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:18 PM Flag
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This is a meal based on stuff that was being stored after a long harvest - it's not a summer meal picked fresh from the garden. Make life easy and order ahead! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:18 PM Flag
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This. Good point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:18 PM Flag
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The veggies would totally have been fine. Especially potatoes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:11 PM Flag
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what did you order? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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All the things like butter, sugar, flour, canned pumpkin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Hey guys! J here again. Weighed in at 143 (from 148) on day 4. Things seem to be slowing down a bit, maybe I'm over the initial water weight phase? Feeling hungry, but damn I can't wait to put on my skinny jeans. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:06 PM Flag
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That's good, keep it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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Congrats! What plan are you on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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Not on a plan per se, just cutting way back on calories and exercising when I can. Two things I wasn't doing before. Eating lots of veggies/salads. Really craving some sashimi right now. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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That's. fantastic. You have momentum! Now go buy some skinny jeans! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:12 PM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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You have more water in there. Phase not over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:07 PM Flag
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Well, either way. The number is progressively going down so I'm feeling okay, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:08 PM Flag
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Hi again, Baking mom in at 167. 169 was my start weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:21 PM Flag
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Awesome! Keep it up Baking Mom! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:22 PM Flag
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What about you, rump steak mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I think I've found my husband's photo in an online ad "hoping to chat and see where things go." No head, just his torso showing off his abs, but I don't recognize the underwear. What the fuck do I do now? Confront based on photo, or contact him in some elaborate ruse to see if he will cough up more identifiable photos? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:53 PM Flag
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Confront. But why were you on the site? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:54 PM Flag
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Something has felt off and I've been driving myself nuts going through his chats, FB for the past month and have found a few things that, while small, seemed odd. I finally resorted to searching Craigslist and found it. I'm not sure I've gone batshit insane or if I'm right to look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:56 PM Flag
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How sure are you that it is him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:59 PM Flag
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Pretty sure, based on his resurrected six-pack (back in shape suddenly) and an old surgery scar that seems visible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:03 PM Flag
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You sound like you have too much time on your hands. What were you doing cruising dating ads? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:55 PM Flag
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How are supposed to figure out someone is cheating, except with a lot of legwork? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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How did you find it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:58 PM Flag
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Looking through Craigslist for ads that matched him. I've gone off the deep end, haven't I? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:58 PM Flag
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Do you think he is gay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:00 PM Flag
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No, ad was for women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:00 PM Flag
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I bet it isn't him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:04 PM Flag
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If that is true, then I need therapy because I can't shake this feeling that something is wrong. Curious, you think straight men wouldn't use online ads for sex, just closeted gay ones? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:08 PM Flag
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If he has some common sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:22 PM Flag
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Sure. What were you doing trolling men's torsos online? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:58 PM Flag
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Same thing she's doing trolling on UB. Trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:01 PM Flag
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Actually, no. Been here for 8 years. Wish I was trolling instead of driving myself nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:04 PM Flag
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See above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:02 PM Flag
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You're going to feel pretty stupid if that's not him. Do you have a map of his abs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:00 PM Flag
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He has a scar from a surgery that seems to be slightly visible above the waistband of the underwear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:02 PM Flag
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I would not confront unless you are absolutely 100% sure it is him. What do you mean when you say something has felt off between you guys? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:59 PM Flag
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Long period of him being extremely hostile, no sex, and finally now a lot of sex. Plus, he cheated on me before and this seems familiar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:01 PM Flag
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Go check his underwear drawer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:01 PM Flag
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Yeah, I just inspected his laundry from his suitcase - just got back from a week-long business trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:04 PM Flag
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Get a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:08 PM Flag
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How on earth can you identify anyone by abs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:06 PM Flag
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Combination of his chest hair, how lean the person is and style of underwear, if not the brand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:08 PM Flag
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This is crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:12 PM Flag
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Also, the floor tile and door in the photo look like our laundry oom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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^^^ also the sleeves of the pulled up shirt are an uncommon color, but the color of one of his shirts. It is the combination of things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:44 PM Flag
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Crazy. Don't. Put the computer away. Cook some more dinners and give more BJs to your DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:06 PM Flag
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uh,,, not before she gets tested for STDs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:06 PM Flag
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I'm going nuts, arent' I, if the attack dog moms of UB are telling me to step back? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:08 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:09 PM Flag
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Would you still say that knowing he cheated before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:13 PM Flag
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np Either trust him or don't. You will drive yourself insane analyzing random torsos on the internet and trying to guess identity based on floor tile and chest hair. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:59 PM Flag
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