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[ - ] I like margaritas. But what is a good drink to get at an Irish pub with a similar taste? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:04 PM Flag
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Vodka sour or gin gimlet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever tell your dc what an AMAZING/FABULOUS/AWESOME person s/he is? I realized I never do this. I tell my boys that I love them all the time and that they did a good job on "x" but, that's it. My mom told me all growing up how great I was and I feel like it gave me a lot of confidence. Now, I'm no professional powerhouse but, my mental health is pretty good. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:52 PM Flag
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I do, but not in a crazy over the top kind of way. And when I do, it is usually related to them working very hard at something, showing maturity and kindness, that kind of thing (as opposed to when they win a race or something). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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Mainly I just tell dcs how hard I work and how they need to help out more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:57 PM Flag
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haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:11 PM Flag
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I say it to my db all the time because I believe in the power of words. She can't understand now as she's still a baby but I believe that they will have a positive effect on her life. I'll keep at it even when she's grown. Proverbs 18:21 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:58 PM Flag
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op - you should read some of the studies done about praise - Carol Dweck has done a lot and they are very, very eye opening [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:00 PM Flag
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Never heard of her but I'll Google her op :) I just think of myself and how my dad was the complete opposite. Never said good things about me and so for most of my adult life I've been struggling with confidence. My husband is the one who always speaks highly of me and it's just now that I'm slowly starting to accept it. I don't ever want my daughter to like like how felt. That my reason for speaking good words into her life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:05 PM Flag
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**to feel like I felt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:11 PM Flag
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NP-It is great to praise kids but important to praise hard work and kindness. I am a school counselor in a Pre-k-8 and I have seen how kids that are constantly praised as special struggle in MS. I am not saying to criticize but praising for every little thing backfires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:11 PM Flag
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I think the last thing you want to do is force it. I think that kids respond best to sincere, heartfelt compliments. Kinda like everyone else.... You don't need to go on and on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:00 PM Flag
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Agree. But good to remind them how much they are loved, how precious they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
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I totally agree but, I think I swing the other way and don't almost ever praise my kids. feel sort of bad about that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
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Yes, just a quick, "You're such a good person." "You're the best kid." "I love being your mom." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
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I think I do.. But I'm with above poster, don't force it. My kids work really really hard and I like to tell them that and how proud I am of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:03 PM Flag
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What are they working really, really hard at? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:06 PM Flag
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To be fair, Taylor Swift was professionally accomplished by the age of 11. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:08 PM Flag
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That's why I'm asking. Do you have several Taylor Swifts on your hands, OR? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:11 PM Flag
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Her personal life seems to be a mess tho. So unstable... makes me sad for her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:12 PM Flag
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I do this all the time. I have one, though, who responds, "Yeah, I know I'm awesome." It's sort of a joke but occasionally I wonder just how tongue-in-cheek he's being. He's got a lot of confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:04 PM Flag
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when she is kind, polite, tries something new, is brave,etc, i praise those specific qualities. i think its weird to say "you're awesome" just for existing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:04 PM Flag
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however, i do tell her i love her, give lots of hugs, and tell her she's my favorite person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else have zero plans for 4th? It's just me and DH and one DC. Could not afford to go away 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:48 PM Flag
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ME!! I am so happy. Sleep late, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:49 PM Flag
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zero plans. my mom died a few months ago and i am in no mood whatsoever to host our annual party. it's supposed to rain all day, which feels appropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:51 PM Flag
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Us too. We are going away next Frifsy for a week and just kind of forgot to plan for the 4th. We are going away with thr friends we have spent the 4th with thr last two years, so it seems a little much to see them again beforehand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:51 PM Flag
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Single mom, 2 DCs and we aren't going anywhere. DCs are teens and will probably spend some time with friends, I will watch fireworks from our building roof. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:51 PM Flag
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No plans. Sending dd with cousins, aunts and uncles to their lake house. She'll have more fun with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:05 PM Flag
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us too! feel kind of lame! going to cook burgers at home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Did anyone come from a family where one kid was favored? Did you get over it as adult? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
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Yes and my mom was mentally ill. I got over it with several years of therapy and also realizing that my estranged sister in having to deal with my mom has a sucky life and I am free [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:49 PM Flag
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most families do, and it's usually the eldest (which would be me) (and i was the favorite) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3533091/Researchers-say-eldest-child-mums-like-three-quarters-parents-admit-liking-one-offspring-others.html [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:53 PM Flag
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My father gave my brother all the breaks yet I was his favorite (eldest, daughter). My brother never got over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:53 PM Flag
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My situation exactly. Younger brother got more money, later curfew, and a lot of perks like that that I didn't, but I was definitely the favorite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:58 PM Flag
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my mother preferred my sister and i was fine with that, as i also preferred my sister (to her, that is) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you maintain weight? I am thin but either I eat whatever I want and gain 5 lbs. or restrict what I'm eating and lose those 5 lbs. BUT, then, I keep losing because I am in the "restrictive" mindset. I have trouble increasing my calories with stuff I don't want (steamed chicken, salads, protein bar, fruit) but if I increase my calories with what I DO want (brownies, pasta, potatoes, cupcakes), then, it only turns into fat and I have trouble stopping at just one anyway. Any tips? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:43 PM Flag
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Calories are calories. It doesn't matter if they come from salad or brownies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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It does if I want to be lean and muscular, which is why I started this in the first place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:46 PM Flag
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np - not at all true. calories from sugar (refined or not) makes your body react totally different than those from proteins. there's an insulin dump into your bloodstream which serves to store those calories as fat - simple explanation but, basically what happens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:49 PM Flag
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P.s. For example, I am sitting here (about 3 lbs. underweight), starving, but I don't WANT to eat an apple, carrot and pretzels, so I am eating nothing, which will make me get too skinny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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You have a problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
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oh, shut up. i know what you mean OP. id rather eat nothing than the healthy stuff. haha. i try and make my meals more filling because healthy snacks dont cut it for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:07 PM Flag
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it's like "chips, or i'll starve, thank you" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:07 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, exactly. Food seems troublesome and pointless if it does not have cheese or frosting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a 10YO DS who all of a sudden is back to sleeping in your bed with you? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:35 PM Flag
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10 yo DD is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:38 PM Flag
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Curious, did you cio when he was younger? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:42 PM Flag
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Cio? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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np: cry it out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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Oh no I rocked him to sleep every night [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:06 PM Flag
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Emotional stress, things happening in his life or the family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:44 PM Flag
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Not sure-goes to camp during the day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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Something is happening there. Look into it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:46 PM Flag
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Maybe but this is a camp all of his friends go to and the counselor had said he is doing great and he doesn't go everyday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:48 PM Flag
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Look closer, just in case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:50 PM Flag
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he's prob just tired, it's a long day with zero downtime, and it's comforting to be with your parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:51 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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Marital difficulties? Family drama? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
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No we are leaving for vacation today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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11.5 year old dd has been asking me to rub her feet (she is in her own bed) while she falls asleep. She had a concussion 2 weeks ago, and I think it scared her. I would leave right before she fell asleep. It is already starting to pass. I think it is normal to have periods like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have college stats for Hunter this year? What about last year? TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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College matriculation stats for Class of 2016 or 2015, I mean. Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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I am still so pissed that as an incoming parent I cannot get information about why the principal left. Parents I met in the process act like it's not happening. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Common sense mom, are you coming back? You left a couple of my questions hanging. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:28 PM Flag
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Not CSM but I'm willing to help if you'd like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:33 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:39 PM Flag
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What's the trick to getting along with aging parents who are annoying but don't really need anything yet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:42 PM Flag
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Let things slide. I say this as someone who had an annoying parent who is now gone. Most things that annoy us are no big deal in the ulitmate scheme of things [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:44 PM Flag
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Bite your tongue. You said it yourself, they are aging. Try as much as possible to create good memories with them regardless of how annoying they may be. They will most likely never change at this point so it's up to you to rise above that feeling of annoyance and see the good that can come out of them. I know it sounds easier said than done but one thing you don't ever want to have to deal with is regret because once they go, they are gone forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:49 PM Flag
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Along the lines of the other responders - imagine how you will feel when they are gone and let that be a guide for how you deal w/ them. And, big breaths in their presence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:54 PM Flag
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I don't know how I'll feel. I've never lost anyone close to me. Didn't feel close to my grandparents. I've already adjusted to my parents being unsupportive, and that was a hard adjustment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:57 PM Flag
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Use the test of whether what they are doing would bother you if you knew they were going to pass away in their sleep tonight. It will raise the bar substantially on what actually ends up bothering you and make you a lot more grateful. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:57 PM Flag
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Yesterday, my co-worker's dad got run over and died. He was old. I thought about how I would feel. I'm basically estranged from my dad. I didn't feel moved. But when my friend's dad dropped dead at 57, I remember thinking, "I should try to patch things up with my dad before it's too late". Didn't happen though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:59 PM Flag
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You don't necessarily have to do that. Just start being more kind. And that will hel in and of itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:01 PM Flag
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He'd like that. He's a black hole of taking, taking, taking and never giving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:06 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm 43. When dh gets a new iphone he asks me if I'm ready for a data plan. Still sticking to my flip phone. Dcs have 3 of his old iphones. Yesterday my therapist made fun of me, so I guess I'll modernize now. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:27 PM Flag
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Your therapist MADE FUN OF YOU? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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She said 'you're writing the next appt on a piece of paper? Get with the 21st century". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:53 PM Flag
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UNACCEPTABLE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:57 PM Flag
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this would definitely be a sign, i guess - of getting a new therapist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:55 PM Flag
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all the cool chicks have the flip [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:55 PM Flag
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op: She looks at least 15 years older than I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:01 PM Flag
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How do you get group texts? Do you not send and receive pictures from your phone? I cracked the screen of my phone and tried to go back to an old phone that only had numbers, and group texts would come through just blank. I would have to call the person to ask them what they had texted me. I lasted a day and a half and I went and got my smart phone screen fixed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:01 PM Flag
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I tell every new person that I have texting blocked and they'll have to call me. If they look upset, I give them dh's number to send the text to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Brooklyn Children's Museum for a bday party - would you go from UES, or too far? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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If we were close with the birthday family, of course. It's a super fun museum, better than the Manhattan one imho. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:28 PM Flag
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agree. we like it much better than cmom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:29 PM Flag
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for what age? I would prob drive not take subway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:30 PM Flag
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5.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:33 PM Flag
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What else have you got to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] What is a good gift for a 3 yo girl?? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:24 PM Flag
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price range? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:25 PM Flag
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DD used the Melissa & Doug Cutting Food set for year. It looks like they now have a similar cutting fruit set and the pizza set looks good too. (DD also had a birthday cake set but I don't see that on amazon right now). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:28 PM Flag
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^ I am under that with these. you could add the M&D slice and sort wooden eggs to bring the total close to $30. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:30 PM Flag
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^or the bread & butter toast set. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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^meant to say years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:34 PM Flag
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My daughter got the birthday cake set packaged with just regular party supplies (paper plates, napkins, and empty goody bags) and used to love throwing birthday parties for her dolls and stuffed animals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:40 PM Flag
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DD too. and it holds up. She is now 11.5 and toddler half sister at her dad's house - we were just saying we needed to pack it up and send it over to her dad's house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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You sound so lovely. Your daughter (and her sister) are very lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:48 PM Flag
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$30 or under. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:28 PM Flag
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arts and crafts, puzzle, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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variety packs of playdoh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:41 PM Flag
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I'd give a nice play tea set. Green Toys has one that is durable, and yet able to be used with real food and drink (or play food, depending on preference). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:46 PM Flag
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i like to do art supplies wrapped up with some kind of horrible cheap plastic toy on top that the kid will immediately love and fixate on and ignore everyone else's tasteful gifts for - the kind of thing they put up by the registers at ToysRUs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
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works every time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Tell me something funny, please. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:17 PM Flag
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My friend uses “scorpion” and “Scorpio” interchangeably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:23 PM Flag
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Astologically speaking? Not wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
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I know someone who broke up with a guy named Wise and married a guy named Wieser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:24 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
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This is probably the only person who might be upset that Nancy Grace lost her show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G00gexQ8Ic&feature=youtu.be [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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I worked with someone who called 'syrian' bread, 'cesarean bread'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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My good friend had two guy on his team at work once (that he managed) they were twins but pronounced their last name differently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:27 PM Flag
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ha!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:56 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
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4YO uses the word "glitter" instead of "litter": "stop glittering!, did that man just drop some glitter?!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:27 PM Flag
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You know what they call glitter? Craft herpes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:00 PM Flag
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Cute :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:01 PM Flag
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Baby cousin's diaper was down and dd asked, "What's it called again? Peanut?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:29 PM Flag
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Haha! Now that's funny :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:44 PM Flag
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A reasonable guess when it's baby-sized. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:53 PM Flag
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4 year old DS saw 7 year old DD pick out a snack at the store. He wailed "why does she get to have fruit pull ups?!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have neuropsych testing done for a child that was affordable (in NYC)? Thank you! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:14 PM Flag
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What do you consider affordable? I've had one done for $5,000 and another for $2,500. I don't consider either affordable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:19 PM Flag
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OP: I'd consider the $2500, because I was just quoted $6000(!) If the $2500 was done well, in your opinion, could you give me the name? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:20 PM Flag
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Sure. It was done through Mount Sinai. The reason it was "cheap" was because a student did it; she was supervised by a doctor and I think the did a really good job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:21 PM Flag
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I just checked the bill for the last one we ordered by an excellent pediatric neuropsych nyc- it was $3850 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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look up V. Hinton at Columbia. She's excellent and I suspect she's a lot less than $6000. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:30 PM Flag
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our insurance covered as mental health. do you have this benefit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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Can you say what the issues were that made them cover it as mental health? My insurance co. seems bent on denying testing & I have mh coverage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:35 PM Flag
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I could not get covered. Mental health v educational. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:43 PM Flag
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See that's my issue with insurance, what's going on does affect education, which is the primary activity of childhood. How do you get them to stop calling it an "education" matter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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Dr. Beth King on UWS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:43 PM Flag
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^^^ I think about 2500 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:43 PM Flag
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David Salsbberg. Otherwise you're wasting your money because most NPs in NYC are an utter waste of time. if you don't believe me go to the YBM special needs board and ask there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:45 PM Flag
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OP: He is the one who is $6000. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I use a lighter like a torch for some light dessert cooking? Or do I need to buy a torch?? Tia 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:09 PM Flag
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Dessert is already awesome without risking your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:13 PM Flag
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I want to brown something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:14 PM Flag
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Can you put it in your oven instead on the broiler setting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:35 PM Flag
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That won't work. You need a mini propane torch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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THIS. It'll never work. Needs to be hotter than a lighter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:47 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on who feels like doing a little life coaching? I'm flummoxed. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:06 PM Flag
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Go ahead, shoot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:08 PM Flag
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OK,thanks. I'll try to make it brief. I'm 38 yo and have an almost-6 yo DC. DH and I were TTC for a couple of years and had general non-success, then a m/c about 18 months ago. Very sad about not having DB #2 but sex life has not been great since then so no success (I still believe the D&C I had did something weird to me). We just started trying again, and my period is 2 days late so I just tested. BFN, and I felt this overwhelming sense of relief. What do I want here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:13 PM Flag
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what does BFN mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:14 PM Flag
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Big Fat Negative [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:15 PM Flag
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I think you felt relief because deep down you fear another miscarriage. Had you had a BFP, you would've immediately started to worry about miscarrying. I think you do want another child but are afraid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:17 PM Flag
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I am afraid of the miscarriage, so I try to talk myself out of having another DC. Can't afford, not enough time, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:19 PM Flag
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I'm sorry about the MC. I had 2 before actually giving birth to my first. Idk if you believe in the power of prayer but that's what got me through. Today, she is 5 months old. Fear will keep you from doing what you want to do. Don't keep nurturing and feeding that feeling. Stay healthy, have tons of sex and hope for that BFP. Your confidence will eventually suffocate that fear and you will no longer struggle with it. When (not if) you get that BFP and fear decides to rear it's ugly head, buy something for the baby. It will make having that baby seem more "real" so to speak. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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Thank you. Congratulations on DB! I don't know when I became such a fraidy cat, but this is good advice. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:27 PM Flag
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Yw! Please post when you get preggo and are comfortable to share. I've prayed for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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Thanks. Give that baby a squeeze. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:32 PM Flag
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Take this with a grain of salt, as I don't have kids by choice. I am thinking a few things. Are you scared of getting pregnant and then going through a loss again? Are you finally out of the trenches and thinking that maybe you don't have it in you to go through the baby years again? Are you thinking that you are not so close with DH now (reading into sex life comment) and wondering if you need to get connected to him before going through this again? Or is it just that right now life is pretty predictable (as much as life can be) and you are wondering at your age if you want to have chaos? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:20 PM Flag
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G-d, probably a little of all of this. But then I start thinking about another baby/kid and I get weepy... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:22 PM Flag
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Ok, my internet friend that tells me a lot. I'm going all life coach on you (and then running out the door, but I'll check back). Loss hurts and it is scary, but you are strong and can get through it (if it were to even happen). Babies are amazing and family is wonderful and life is hard no matter what. The future is scary, but the future you can handle it when it happens. I'd spend some time connecting with DH, and sometimes a byproduct of that is a sweet little baby. Mother Nature is a tricky bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:25 PM Flag
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Thank you my internet friend. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:26 PM Flag
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np - wow, you are pretty great! perfect response. wish you were my friend irl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:59 PM Flag
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Your problem is that you REALLY wanted a second child and to be like everyone else. l mean, every other person has as many kids as they want, so why not you? It's not fair. SO, you are depressed about it and creating all sorts of psychological effects on your sex life, believing there is something weird, etc. A D & C can't do anything to your body. And sex is a mechanical operation. It doesn't have to be perfect to conceive a baby. You need to come to terms with the fact that you can only control your reactions to things. Take charge. 1. Enjoy the child you have each day. 2. Don't let this affect your marriage. 3. Implement plan B (adoption? surrogate? Fertility specialist?) and 4. Banish all fear of a mc. Fuck that. You don't have time. You survived the 1st one. What if I told you you have to go thru 3 mc's to get another child? You'd step up and get through it, right? This month is done. Great. Get to work on next month. Make a plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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I like your tough love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:32 PM Flag
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Spill [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:08 PM Flag
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I'll throw in my 2 cents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:13 PM Flag
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Let go of your fear. You had a mc, but you know what? That means your body can conceive another child. So you're almost there. Keep trying, and stay positive. It's ok to want the baby. You don't want your future Db to be conceived in an atmosphere of fear, worry, or allegedly not wanting a second child. Embrace it! Wish for it! Let your new Db come into a womb environment filled with live and eager anticipation. Not worry. Not fear. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Advice on renovations in NYC. I know the usual route is hiring architect (pay % of the total budget) and then bid out the contractors. Any advice on how maximize budget i.e. save money in the process. We are planning a general gut with new baths and kitchen. ANY advice would be appreciated!! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:01 PM Flag
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You can do it without an architect. Especially for just baths and kitchen. Use a designer to help choose fixtures, a contractor who understands placement and flow, and be on top of it yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:03 PM Flag
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need to reconfigure the apt., so really need an architect to draw it up and file plans with the City and the Board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:30 PM Flag
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NP an architect will do a much job with reconfiguring. Don't skip on the architect. My poor sil's remodeled house ended up a mess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:07 PM Flag
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When the contractors give their bids, including all the fixtures you / architect have picked out, make sure it is line itemed, including the fixtures, so that if you swap something out, you know exactly what the price difference will be. Architects don't always have knowledge of what the most inexpensive choices are, the contractor you pick should. For example, they should know that redoing the floor X way might cost 20% more than Y way and you might be indifferent to the two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:38 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone help talk me through this situation? I have a half sister who is 18 years older than me. My mom was not the ow and she has a great relationship with my sister. Sister and I were pretty close when I was growing up, she babysat me and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding when I was 10. We stayed pretty close while I was living at home but she started having kids and I graduated and moved, then met Dh and had kids and we haven't seen much of each other in the past 6 years or so (but it somewhat started after she had her first). We each have 3 kids, hers are 14, 11 and 8, mine are 6, 4 and 2. I've been reaching out to her for a year trying to find a way for us all to get together and have the cousins get to know each other. She basically keeps ignoring me or blowing me off. Should I confront her about it (nicely) or just let it go and try again in a few years? We have not had a falling out, just less time to talk or see each other in recent years. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 01:58 PM Flag
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Too much of an age difference, you can't put your kids with hers and expect either group to have a serious interest in each other. She's probably also just busy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:03 PM Flag
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Her youngest dd is less than 2 years older than my oldest dd. The few times they've been together they get along incredibly well. My mom is also trying to find a time when she can do something with those two girls at least. Her oldest is also not living at home right now because of issues, so it's really only the 11 and 8 yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:05 PM Flag
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This rings a bell for me. I can't really imagine any kind of "issue" that could result in my 14 year old not living with me that wouldn't be a pretty big deal, and heart breaking. It probably makes it hard for her to make room for anything additional. Plus, maybe on some level she fears judgment from you? Not that there is any reason for it. Sometimes I fear judgment and have in instinct to pull in even from the most kind and supportive people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:15 PM Flag
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There are very big issues. 14yo has been living out of the house since 11, and we have talked about it over the years and she knows we are nothing but supportive. Her kids are adopted and the oldest came from an abusive situation that wasn't well understood before adoption. Unfortunately it led to many other issues that they are still grappling with. The child is a danger to herself and her siblings so she can't be at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:22 PM Flag
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That is really heart breaking. And to me, it kind of explains some of it. She's got so much to worry about, the 14 yo, probably trying to figure out and deal with how this affected her other two kids (who also may have some kind of previous loss with whatever their adoption story is.) I can see planning a trip or something feeling like just too much. I'd write her a heartfelt letter (as in really send it in the mail... and I don't usually do that) telling her how much you love her, how you want to support her in any way and how you miss her. And let her take the lead. BTW, I don't at all want to minimize how important your relationship is. I think you should do all you can to keep the relationship alive. I just think that when someone is in crisis, you kind of have to let them set the pace according to what they can do. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:31 PM Flag
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Thanks. A letter is a good idea. I will do that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:36 PM Flag
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np: tread carefully. If it is too OTT it will be off-putting and make her feel like you are trying to guilt trip her snd that could breed resentment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:44 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:49 PM Flag
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Big difference between what you can do with 11/8 and 6/4/2. You cant make her be your friend. I am guessing she is more concerned re the oldest, whatever the issue is. You cant make this about you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:17 PM Flag
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Cousins are family and family always enjoys each others presence regardless of age. My family is like this and cousins just mesh regardless of age. She's not busy. She's just not interested. You make time for the people you want to keep in your life. Even if it means only having time to meet once or twice a month, texting and emailing. Op I'm so sorry. If you've already reached put to her several times an she has not reached out to yo, leave her alone. If she never does end up reaching out to you then you know she's just really not interested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:07 PM Flag
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*out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:08 PM Flag
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Meeting once or twice a month would be impossible, we don't live nearby. Hence why I'm trying to organize a trip together or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:11 PM Flag
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She doesn't want to. Stop with the even thinking about confront. That will only make it worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:17 PM Flag
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Ok well as I said, she's not busy she's just not interested. It's not that hard to make time for the people you care for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:19 PM Flag
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This is too much. Most people have resonantly limited vacation time snd given the age differences she just doesn't want to commit to an entire vacation. How far apart do you live? Csn you plan a local day trip outing? Possibly (just maybe) a single overnight if yuh don't live within 2 hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:28 PM Flag
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I live on the east coast and she lives in Denver. We've gone out and visited them once since having kids (before youngest), and would be fine with going again. She doesn't work, her husband does but they travel a ton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:33 PM Flag
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Csn you plan a trip to Colorado for your family and then spend a weekend with them? Plan to spend a week in Vail. That's a close enough drive - 1.5 to 2 hours - that you would fly into DIA but then not be hanging around in Denver waiting for them to entertain you. Tell her that you want to coordinate thr weekend thst you will stay at s hotel in Denver so that you can see them then. Make clear that you are spending the week in Vail (maybe also a night in Glenwood Slrings) and want to coordinate the weekend only. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:42 PM Flag
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Yep. Or if Vail doesn't float your boat, there are tons of options. Honestly, you could have a very fun vacation in Denver. Tons to do, but that might look too needy. No matter what though, don't stay with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:51 PM Flag
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If you want to see her, ask her if you can take a trip with her kids to a hotel near where she lives and spend a weekend together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:33 PM Flag
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... your request is just too much. I know you're not meaning it to be, but I have a somewhat estranged part of my family that I have no hard feelings against. I'll see my cousin from time to time when she comes to NYC. But the other family members keep suggesting i come with the family to Texas and I have zero desire to do that. But if they came to NYC for a weekend, I'd be so happy to connect with them here. And maybe we'd build a strong enough relationship that I'd want to go to Texas one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:36 PM Flag
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If you think family always enjoys each other's presence, I don't know what to tell you ... you must not know very many people. Lots of families hate each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:18 PM Flag
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But we've never hated each other or had any sort of falling out. Just some of the natural pulling away that happens when people get involved with their own lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:23 PM Flag
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Did you read about the adopted kids? Sounds like this woman has A LOT on her plate already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:50 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:48 PM Flag
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She's just not that into you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:12 PM Flag
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You have nothing to loose! Why not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 02:15 PM Flag
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I think it's nice you want the cousins to get to know each other and grow up together. It sounds like your sister has some issues - the question is, what are they. How do your situations compare? Both happy with marriage, work, mothering, etc.? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:00 PM Flag
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Happy marriages, I work, she doesn't, different parenting styles but love our kids, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.16, 03:10 PM Flag
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